


half doomed and semi-sweet

by Sandgoddess



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Kuroo really doesnt like pineapple on his pizza because hes a decent person, M/M, Minor Akaashi Keiji/Bokuto Koutarou, Minor Hinata Shouyou/Kageyama Tobio/Kozume Kenma, Minor Iwaizumi Hajime/Oikawa Tooru, Slow Burn, also, but nothing intense... if that makes you... uncomfortable for some reason, come aboard young child, mentions of polyamory, sorry but, this is going to be heavily sad and dirty for no reason so if ur into that, this is mentionned often enough to justify a tag
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-01-16
Updated: 2018-08-05
Packaged: 2018-09-17 21:22:51
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 14
Words: 92,408
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9346256
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sandgoddess/pseuds/Sandgoddess
Summary: Kuroo's life is already a clusterfuck before his rent goes up, but then it becomes a total shit-show, until his landlord proves himself to be a slightly better person than Kuroo had previously thought. But only slightly.





	1. Notice

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello!!! We meet again!
> 
> This story is probably going to be shorter than the previous one, but if you're not familiar with my [other work](http://archiveofourown.org/works/5387741/chapters/12443981), don't worry! There's no link between the stories.
> 
> This story is inspired by a prompt post that I saw a long time ago on tumblr, and it just stuck with me until I was able to build something around it. I would love to tag the post, but I don't know how to find it. If anyone knows what I'm talking about, help me out!
> 
> I know the tags say this is dirty and sad, but I'll also try to make it funny and as different as I can??? Maybe??? 
> 
> Anyway, chapter one isn't too long but the ones after that might be longer! I'm thinking 10,000 words max.
> 
> English isn't my first language bla bla bla don't be rude
> 
> Okay so here we go!

"Are you fucking kidding me?" Kuroo screamed in the emptiness of his home, clutching on the letter in his hands so tightly that he teared the paper. He stared at the words, watching in horror as none of them seemed to change. That must've been a joke, it couldn't be true, not now. He could physically feel his wallet dying from the inside of his pocket.

The letter in his hands was printed on expensive paper and it was signed by hand, which was not the standards of the usual notices that he got. The biggest difference was in the formality of the message, in the sickening cross between politeness and total lack of emotional understanding that made it feel like the person who wrote it was mocking the reader.

Kuroo tried to flatten the piece of paper so he could read it again, hoping that he'd gotten something wrong somehow. As he read along, he felt dread rising from his stomach and spilling everywhere in his blood. His reading was fine, everything was painfully clear.

 

     Notice for the resident(s) of apartment 21

On the first of February, your lease is up for renewal. Following a change in the management, the rent of every apartment has been recalculated to fit the current economy. In your particular case, the rent of your apartment will go from ¥75,000/month to ¥80,000/month. If you would wish to renew your lease, please contact me via email only, so we can arrange a meeting. You will also need to specify any new residents that were not on the previous lease. If you however do not wish to renew your lease, you will need to be out of the apartment by January 29th. Any damage that is not due to normal usage also needs to be fixed by that date.

     Professional email : ktsukishima.11@gmail.com

     Regards, Tsukishima Kei

 

Kuroo crushed the letter into a crumbled ball and threw it across the room in a fit of rage. He was already constantly short on money, but now, that was just insane. He would need to cut into his food money and ask for more hours at work, even though he had already done that merely two weeks ago.

As he thought about his options, he quickly realised that there was nothing he could do about it except look for a new and cheaper apartment. It would crush him to leave his favorite neighbour behind, but if he had to choose between living next to Oikawa and having enough money to feed himself, his survival instincts were unfortunately kicking in.

Thinking about his neighbour made him wonder how the man would handle that situation. Oikawa had a tendency to get the weirdest plans going, but everyone was weak to his charm so it usually worked out for him. Kuroo's charm wasn't as powerful, but he liked to try anyway.

Oikawa would probably fight this. He would try to get the most people on his side to demonstrate the unfairness of the change. Kuroo thought he remembered being told that a petition could be useful if you wanted to request something, as long as more than 50% of the residents signed it.

With a pad of paper, a pen and blind hope, Kuroo went and knocked on every door of the second and third floor, asking for people's support. Some agreed with shrugs, others said they didn't have the time before Kuroo could even say anything. When he got to the last apartment of the second floor, he had already gotten the signature of almost everybody he had met. A woman with a toddler on her hip answered the door of apartment 20, looking tired and uninterested before Kuroo even introduced himself.

"Hi, sorry to bother you miss, but I'm here to ask you for your opinion about the recent increase in the cost of rent? Have you gotten your notice?"

He was speaking as nicely as he could, trying to have her on his side no matter what. Her child was staring at him like he was seeing a monster, and it wasn't doing wonders for Kuroo's confidence.

She sighed so strongly that it blew one of her hair strands away from her face. "Yeah, mine already went up, I got the notice like 2 months ago. I mean, I'm not happy, but I can't do anything about it."

Kuroo frowned at the woman, questioning her with his gaze as she adjusted the position of her son on her hip.

"What do you mean?" He wondered, confused.

"Well," she began with a lazy shrug, "I looked around and this place was still the cheapest I could find, even with the new rent. It's still ridiculously cheap for the quality I'm getting."

Kuroo stared at her, speechless as he looked for words that wouldn't come to him. Okay, so this was bad. If this was still considered cheap, it wouldn't take too long before he'd end up homeless. He had to make this work, so he shook himself back together.

"Would you still be interested in signing my petition to get it back down to how it uses to be? If more than 50% of us sign, the landlord will have to take it into consideration."

The woman stared at him for a second too long, obviously failing to see the point in that, but she ended up nodding and grabbing Kuroo's pen with her free hand. She signed while Kuroo held up the pad and shared her baby's strangely intense stare. Once that was done, he wished them a good night and moved on to the first floor.

Since that was where the most expensive apartments were located, the people Kuroo spoke to were a little more fired up, or even straight up angry at the landlord. When he reached the end of the hallway, that anger had gotten to his head, and he felt like laying it on thick. He already had more than the required 50% anyway, he had nothing to lose.

The door opened and revealed a tall, pale haired man with glasses hanging low on his nose, so he pushed them up and looked down at Kuroo. There was something unsettling about his vibe, it was cold and dark and it translated in the way he glared at Kuroo like he was the biggest annoyance in his life.

"Hey," he started anyway, "good evening!" He wasn't sure which tone he should use with someone who was watching him like that, so he went for the endearing friendliness.

"I'm going around the building to get signatures for my petition on the increase of the rents. I honestly think that it's unfair and very excessive, especially considering the fact that most of us work a minimum wage job and already had trouble paying the old rent. Would you be interested in…”

Kuroo frowned at how the man _sneered_ at him now, putting an end to his speech and cocking his head on the side to make it obvious that he thought something was wrong about the occupant of apartment 6. The man scoffed, holding his weight against the door frame with his forearm. His wrist was bent nonchalantly, giving him the least impressed vibe Kuroo had ever felt. For some reason, he felt like this man was going to get the house and the dog in their imminent divorce. And for some reason, he got curious instead of intimidated.

“I see you got my letter,” the man said with his nasty, mocking smile. Kuroo wanted to punch him in the teeth, or maybe he wanted to grin back, he didn’t know. Both, he guessed.

“Oh,” Kuroo replied, taking a step back from the door of the apartment. “You’re the landlord?”

He had to ask to be sure he was getting this right. He probably was, he wasn’t dumb, but the pressure of the situation wasn’t helping him think.

“Petitions aren’t worth anything,” the man explained, deciding not to answer the question since it was probably obvious to him. “If you want to get your voice heard, you have to come to the monthly assembly, explain your issue, compromise with the chef of the assembly and then vote with the other residents on the different issues that will be presented.”

That sounded like the worse of hassles, and the landlord saw it in his eyes, scoffing in triumph.

“And about your opinion on the rent, I must mention that the man who previously owned this building, my uncle, kept the rents so low that it cost him money in the end. He always complied to people like you, who thought the world revolved around them, that’s why you paid so little. If I’m stuck with this shithole, you must believe that I’m going to make money off of it, as it is intended that a landlord does.”

Kuroo stared with round eyes at the man who had just destroyed every single one of his arguments before he’d even heard them. He was so casual in his rudeness that Kuroo almost felt the urge to _thank him_ for his candor, but that might’ve also been him being weird.

The blond man took his arm away from the threshold and grabbed the edge of the door, leaving no openness for Kuroo. He’d said what he had to and he wasn’t going to hear anything else.

“Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have more important matters to get to. I expect an email from you before the 21st.”

He was shutting the door just after he’d said that, without a goodnight or a sincere apology, without even one of his nasty looks. On a whim, Kuroo stuck his feet between the door and the wall, forcing it open. The landlord glared at him from the thin opening, annoyed beyond words, but still far from angry.

“Wait, sir, is there really nothing I can do? Because this is going to put me in the street on the long term.”

Kuroo didn’t want to plead this guy for a little bit of humanity, because he knew that he did have some. If he was that mean spirited for fun, the new rent wouldn’t be 80,000, it would be 90,000.

The man shrugged, from what Kuroo could see on the other side of the door. He didn’t want to help, or he didn’t know how, but either way, Kuroo felt like he was done with.

“Maybe if you didn’t live alone, you wouldn’t have a problem,” he replied coldly before he pushed Kuroo’s foot away with his own foot, closing the door in his face a second later.

Kuroo stayed in place for a while after this, his mouth hanging open his shock about what he’d just heard. His mother was already shaming him for being single, and now his fucking landlord? That bastard better not have a girlfriend, because Kuroo couldn’t think of an unluckier girl in the world. Fuck the candor and the divorce vibe, this guy was a piece of shit, plain and simple.

He let the pad slide out of his hands and fall on the floor in front of the landlord’s door before he left for his own apartment. Once he was back on the second floor, Kuroo unlocked the door to his apartment and slammed it behind himself, walking in the living room as he rushed both of his hands in his face and tried not to cry or scream or have any emotion, basically. He didn’t want to feel anything, he was done for the day.

He heard his door click open 30 seconds after he’d slammed it, and he turned around to find Oikawa with a bottle of red wine and two glasses in his hands, smiling like he was sorry about something. He must’ve gotten home while Kuroo was getting the signatures on the first floor, because he hadn’t been home when Kuroo knocked on his door for the petition.

“What’s wrong, baby doll?” Oikawa asked when he finally read the emotion on Kuroo’s face and decided that the situation didn’t require him to pretend he was nice. Slamming the door had became a sort of message for him, a plea for him to rush over there and offer some kind of assistance, but he could already tell that there was not much he would be able to do.

“Have you met the new landlord?” Kuroo asked, looking at the wall over Oikawa’s shoulder with a fixed gaze. Oikawa turned his head to see if there was anything there, but since there wasn’t anything out of the ordinary, he turned back to glare at Kuroo.

“Yeah,” he replied slowly, stretching the sounds in this dubious way of his. “I signed my lease last month, why?”

Kuroo had a frustrated sigh and moved to sit on the couch, or, rather, collapse on the couch. Oikawa watched him as his shoulders shook, chuckling happily at what he had the great opportunity to witness.

“He’s an asshole with a superiority complex and I’m going to die of hunger because of him,” Kuroo explained in a pained voice, taking one of his throw pillows and hugging it close to his chest. “I can’t believe 5000 yen feels like the end of the world right now.”

Oikawa kept laughing, and he didn’t really care about the nasty look Kuroo sent him. He sat on the couch next to his neighbour, taking the cork out of the wine bottle with his obnoxious electric gadget after he’d set the glasses on the coffee table.

“5000 yen is lunch for me,” Oikawa replied, laughing even harder when Kuroo glared at him with legit fury. “Hey, calm down, I got you this bottle from my pricy cabinet.”

Kuroo rolled his eyes as he waited for his glass to be filled, suddenly feeling like he couldn’t wait to take it all down and grab a second one. He wasn’t the type to drown his sorrow, but he really was about to break down if he didn’t find a way to clear this entire day out of his head.

“It’s kinda ironic, drinking expensive wine while I’m this broke,” Kuroo mumbled as he grabbed the glass that Oikawa had just filled.

Oikawa bit the inside of his lip before he brought his glass up to his face, letting the edge of it rest on his chin. He took a deep breath before his expression got gravelly serious, and Kuroo was ready to shut him up before he even started speaking.

“I could always-“

“No charity,” Kuroo interrupted as he waved a disapproving finger in Oikawa’s face. “You know how I feel about that, I’m not having that conversation again.”

Oikawa sulked a little, letting his body fall boneless in the cushions of Kuroo’s beat up couch. “So I’m gonna have to keep hearing you whine about it until you win the lottery?”

Kuroo raised his glass and grinned as he brought his face closer and looked at Oikawa’s scowl through it. “ _Wine_ about it,” he said, and it took Oikawa approximately 0.5 seconds before he made a weird guttural sound, trying to hold back from laughing. He pointed joyfully at Kuroo’s face, snickering as he bent his knees and put both of his feet on the couch. He looked like a laughing ball.

Smiling confusedly, Kuroo took his face away from the glass and glared at Oikawa.

“No, **_nO_**!” Oikawa screamed, uselessly reaching in the air with the hand he was pointing at Kuroo with. “Do that again, you’re so ugly, oh my God, I’m gonna die!”

Kuroo sighed as he put the glass in front of his face again, letting Oikawa have his dumb fun. At one point, Oikawa closed his eyes and brought his hands to his stomach, bringing his knees even closer to him and just. Laughed. Kuroo grinned, putting his glass down on his own knee and holding it weakly from its base.

“Glad you’re having fun,” he said with not one hint of harshness, but Oikawa still stopped laughing suddenly, slapping Kuroo’s hand as he had an offended gasp.

“Okay, we’re getting back to your problems then!”

Kuroo backed off a little and stared at Oikawa with big eyes, letting out a short nervous chuckle. “I didn’t mean it like that, I can put the glass back if you want…”

Oikawa nodded dramatically, grabbing the remote and turning the television on to see what horrible movie they could watch. It was nearing 9 o’clock, and that was the best time to catch a true piece of shit live on network TV.

“Let’s talk shit about the landlord while we finish this bottle way too quickly for it to be classy, alright?” Oikawa proposed, finally choosing which channel he would leave the TV on. There was already an excess of too-pink blood and female screams, which told so much about the quality of the movie that it made Kuroo smile automatically. This was exactly the type of trash that he needed right now.

“Of course,” Kuroo replied, angling his body towards the TV so he could see the movie while still being physically invested in his conversation with Oikawa.

“So,” Oikawa started in a sing-song voice, “what did the big meanie do to you?”

“Told me I should get a girlfriend and share the rent if I can’t pay it, basically.”

Oikawa cocked his head on the side, glaring at Kuroo through his wide glasses. “Basically? What did he actually say?”

Kuroo brought a hand to his hair and rubbed it uncomfortably, trying to remember the guy’s exact words. “I don’t know, something along the lines of _‘There wouldn’t be a problem if you didn’t live alone’_ or some shit like that.”

Oikawa snorted at the bad imitation, slapping Kuroo’s thigh like he always did when he was being bad. “Maybe he thinks you don’t even have friends,” Oikawa supplied, grinning mischievously when he saw that Kuroo seemed to be boiling with even more rage than he used to.

“That bitch,” Kuroo spat, downing the rest of his glass of wine to punctuate his statement. “His uncle left this to him when he died and he’s trying to destroy his legacy for a little bit of profit, like _I can’t believe_ -“

Kuroo clenched his fists, choosing to do this instead of finishing his sentence. Oikawa raised his eyebrows at him, nodding once as he acted like he approved of Kuroo’s rage.

“Oh, absolutely,” he agreed, shaking his head to add to his performance. “How dare he not let this place become a burden to him?”

“Right!?” Kuroo yelled before he thought about it, taking a deep breath as he let the embarrassment come through. “Alright, you dumbass, give me a refill already.”

Oikawa laughed openly, taking the bottle and filling Kuroo’s glass a little bit over the acceptable amount that is normally found in a glass of wine. “I know I wasn’t there to see, but I’m sure he was rude to you, I’m not denying that. You have to admit that he has good reasons, though, right?”

Kuroo shrugged, reluctant to the idea of agreeing that the thing currently ruining his life was fair and just. “I don’t want him losing money over this thing, but shit, Oiks, I don’t want to either!”

“I know, baby doll,” Oikawa said, sounding genuinely sorry this time. He patted his own thigh, requesting for Kuroo to lay down and use it as a pillow. Without a word, Kuroo took the rest of the couch to stretch his legs, laying on his side with his cheek squished against Oikawa’s thigh.

“You must miss your boyfriend something awful to let me do this,” Kuroo laughed as he rubbed his face on the pleasant fabric of Oikawa’s pants.

“As if you can even act as a poor excuse for a replacement,” Oikawa joked with a soft smile, shrugging unapologetically when Kuroo glared at him from where he lay. “Come on, you know I love you, you dumb, unfortunate man.”

“Quite literally unfortunate,” Kuroo replied coldly, but he ended up laughing at the end, because if there was one thing his life deserved, it was definitely self-mockery.

Slowly, both of their attentions turned to the movie, and they watched silently as teenagers got their bodies sliced in half. When the movie ended, the bottle of wine was finished and Kuroo was just about ready to fall asleep on Oikawa’s thigh. He sat up begrudgingly, rubbing his eyelids with his thumb and index finger to wake himself up a little bit. As he looked at the couch cushion between his legs, he felt Oikawa’s insistent eyes on him. He was probably wondering if Kuroo was doing better, now.

“Do you know anyone who wouldn’t mind living with me and sleeping on the sofa bed?”

Oikawa laughed instantly, giggling at that absurd thought for way longer than it was necessary. “That’s assuming that I know someone who’s even more desperate than you are,” he said, holding back exactly no punches.

Kuroo’s shoulders fell in dejection, whining like a sad dog. Oikawa patted his shoulder gently, shushing him soothingly. “You could always look on the internet, but I’m not sure someone who doesn’t mind sleeping on a sofa bed indefinitely is someone you want in your home.”

Kuroo took one look at Oikawa’s overly serious expression before he broke into a fit of giggles, endlessly amused by his friend’s strange standards. How could he be such good friend with Kuroo, a known grade A mess, and still say things like that?

“I’ll look anyway, I need to cover all my options,” Kuroo replied in a sigh while Oikawa kept rubbing his shoulder, almost making him feel like it was going to be alright.

“Sleep on that,” Oikawa suggested, taking his hand away from Kuroo and standing up from the couch. He took the empty bottle and the glasses in his hands and stood close to the door. “We’ll figure something out, like we always do. Everything will be fine.”

“Sure, O wise wizard,” Kuroo said mockingly, laughing as Oikawa pulled out his tongue and jammed the empty bottle of wine between his upper arm and the side of his chest so he would have a free hand to open the door. The maneuver seemed to be laborious, but he succeeded just as Kuroo was standing up and to do it for him.

“Fuck you and have a good night,” Oikawa wished him as he left, leaving the door open behind him.

“Fuck you too!” Kuroo answered from the inside of his apartment, walking up to the door to close it. Oikawa’s presence had acted as a buffer on his panic, but now that he had left, he had nothing to help him take his mind elsewhere.

He got ready for bed and tried to ignore the extra weight in his body, slowing him down and making him feel like he was walking straight into strong current. Once he’d gotten into bed, he took his phone and checked for messages and emails, but not much was happening. He texted Kenma to warn him that he might call him the next day, and Bokuto to ask him if he was still good for Friday. When he didn’t get any replies, he slumped sadly into bed, listening to the sound of his overly loud heartbeat.

To make matters worse, he had the day off the next day, and his pay check was still an entire week away. He closed his eyes and sighed angrily, trying to think of anything else, literally anything else but money.

After 30 minutes of tossing and turning, he grabbed his phone again and unplugged it, rolling to the other side of his bed. Pulling up Facebook, he clicked on the search bar and watched the keyboard line flash, waiting for him to write something. He didn’t remember the guy’s name too well, but he knew his first name was Kei. How ironic was that, too. The least bright and bubbly person he’d ever met, and his name was Kei.

There was a lot more results than he’d expected, but after scrolling down a couple of pages, he found him. He was smiling politely on his profile picture, and Kuroo could see trees behind him, but there wasn’t anything else to see. Everything else on his profile was blocked, and Kuroo chuckled at the predictability.

He put his phone down next to him and inhaled deeply, attempting to calm himself down. Oikawa was right, they would fix this, because they always did. There was no need to freak out about becoming homeless or becoming a prostitute, one because Kuroo was sure that that was the landlord’s masterplan all along, and two, because Kuroo Tetsurou had never given up in his life, and he was never going to.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm a little nervous lmao I don't know what to think
> 
> How was it? Tell me? Do I continue this? Do I delete it? Do I disappear from the earth? Tell me!
> 
> I love you all so much btw I don't know you but I have so much love to give  
>  
> 
> [Follow me I'm a dork](http://sandgoddess.tumblr.com/)


	2. Compromise

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don't get used to me being this quick lmao I just couldn't stop writing these past few days and I've definitely been procrastinating my school work big time
> 
> Anyway, I'd rather be early than late... 
> 
> I hope it's a good read (＾ω＾)

Kuroo woke up with his eyelids burning, unable to open his eyes for the longest time. He already had a headache, his room was too hot and, above all, he knew he didn't have any food in his fridge and he was probably going to have to order something. He groaned loudly, bringing his hands to his face and massaging his cheeks to wake himself up a little.

After 15 minutes of laying there for no reason, he got up and left to the bathroom to take a shower. He made it as warm as possible, watching his skin turn red under the stream of water. He stayed in there for way longer than necessary, laying on the shower wall as the water fell down his back.

When he walked out of the bathroom, he felt heavy and sluggish, but in a much more enjoyable way than the previous night. His laptop was on the kitchen table, innocently reminding him of all he had to do that day, but the heat under his skin that slowed him down kept him from worrying too much.

He poured himself a bowl of cereal before he remembered that he didn't have any milk, but he ate it anyway, crunching on the dry cereals like that didn't bother him at all. He sat at the table with his bowl, turning his computer on and opening his internet browser as soon as it had been on long enough to perform any tasks. It was an old laptop that his mother had given him when his other one broke, and it was trully doing its best, but Kuroo would've chucked it into the wall with no hesitation if he got a new one.

He browsed the internet for cheaper apartments, but as his next-door neighbour had warned him, there was nothing. He even found an apartment that had the same size as his, and it was ¥95,000/month. He felt a shiver of fear go down his spine.

There were people looking for a place to share, but they all wanted their own room and storage place, which was understandable. Kuroo grabbed two handfuls of his hair, pulling lightly as he groaned again. He could put his pride aside and ask his mother, but he had promised her that he'd never ask her for money again. His dad was also out of the question, he probably had less money than Kuroo did.

A compromise was really the only thing he could think of to get himself out of this. He remembered watching movies where people worked on the building to pay cheaper rents, or to get a free apartment even. Kuroo knew how to fix a roof because he had done it with his dad once before, but other than that, he didn't have any skills.

Fixing a broken pipe was probably easy enough. A leaking ceiling was nothing you couldn't fix with absorbing paper and a very strong will. Kuroo wanted to drop to the floor and roll around because of how dumb his thoughts were.

He dressed himself properly, fixed his hair as best as he could and took the stairs to the first floor. His hand started sweating against the handrail, but he shook his head a little. This wasn't the time to be nervous, it was the time to be confident. Or to fake that he was. Same thing.

The door of apartment 6 had never looked to menacing to him. He remembered the old lady who lived there when he'd first moved in, he often got her mail in his mail box and she always gave him sweets when he went to give her her letters back. She had passed away almost a year ago, and the apartment had been empty ever since. Until 2 months ago, at least.

He knocked before he could chicken out. Quickly, he heard footsteps on the other side of the door, and he clenched his teeth. He had to admit that he'd hoped the guy wouldn't be home since it was 10am on a week day, but then again, he couldn't wait to be done with this.

Tsukishima opened the door slowly, already scowling at Kuroo before he even knew it was him.

"Can I come in?" Kuroo quickly asked, moving his foot closer to the door if the guy tried to close the door in his face.

Tsukishima frowned, annoyed and obviously tired, but he opened the door and let Kuroo in. Shaken, since he didn't think he'd get this far, Kuroo walked in the apartment hesitantly, watching Kei warily as if he thought the man would change his mind and push him out of the apartment.

"What do you want?" Tsukishima asked, closing the door after Kuroo. His apartment smelled like violets and everything was clean and tidy. Kuroo couldn't help but mentally point out everything that was different from when the old lady lived there. There used to be lace on every surface and old, kind of creepy pictures on the walls on the hallway. Now, everything was much soberer, refined too, but it didn't look lived in.

"Can we sit? I'm not gonna be too long, I promise."

Tsukishima shrugged, he apparently couldn't care less. "Sure, go ahead," he replied, without any zest for life.

Kuroo moved to the living room, taking a seat on his landlord's abusively soft couch. He wanted to live and die in this couch, and if the disturbed look on Tsukishima's face was anything to go by, this was probably going to remain a fantasy.

"So," Kuroo started after he cleared his throat, trying to take Tsukishima's attention away from how much he seemed to enjoy his couch, "I wanted to know if you were looking for someone to help around the building? You know, fixing dumb stuff, helping old ladies down the stairs, anything?"

Tsukishima clicked his tongue irritably as he sat down in his lounge chair. "I already have someone who does this. Kimura on the third floor."

Kuroo wanted to choke Kimura on the third floor to death. "You wouldn't happen to need a second one, would you?"

The landlord sighed, succeeding to look intimidating while he crossed his legs. "Are you a certified plumber? A handyman? Electrician?"

"No..." Kuroo admitted bashfully.

"Well then, no, I don't," Tsukishima replied harshly, and Kuroo had to swallow down a lump in his throat.

He took a deep breath before he spoke again. "Alright then, I'm going to step on my pride and ask you for your understanding with this. I will... pay what you're asking me. Every month."

Tsukishima nodded, pleased, but still looking like he expected no less from a decent person.

"But..." Kuroo continue, pulling on his own index finger nervously, "I can't have it all ready on the first of every month. I just can't."

Kei frowned, leaning forward towards Kuroo. He didn't look angry, just slightly bothered, like he didn't understand completely.

"You will have all the money I owe you by the end of each month, but I can't give it all in one go, it'll kill me."

The landlord seemed to think about it, pressing his back to the chair. Kuroo didn't even know if that was really a solution, he had no idea how it would actually help him, but he guessed that his budget would be easier to do that way. With more hours at work and more self-control, he might be able to do this. Oikawa was going to be proud of him.

"Okay," Tsukishima agreed, joining his hands and uncrossing his legs. "If you promise that I will get the money every month and that the weekly payments will be constant, I'm ready to accept that, as long as I never hear about it again."

Kuroo gaped at him, falling limp into the couch. "Are you just agreeing because you're trying to be nice or because you don't want me to bother you any longer?"

Kei sighed, stood up from his chair and looked down at Kuroo, insistent. "I think you know the answer to that."

Kuroo nodded self-consciously, standing up from the couch and walking to the hallway.

"Thank you, anyway," Kuroo said, looking over his shoulder to see Tsukishima blink slowly, giving no answer. He turned around to face the man, smiling at him nicely, since he deserved it a little bit more today. "I'm Kuroo Tetsurou, by the way."

Kei looked at the man's stretched out hand, winced internally, but grabbed it, shaking it to be polite. "Tsukishima Kei," he replied blankly.

Kuroo grinned at the coldness, still amused by it. He had never met someone who was so naturally harsh, but he might've not been doing it on purpose. After growing up with a guy like Kenma, Kuroo had learned not to judge people by how they acted when they didn't know you. If Tsukishima hadn't made a passive aggressive comment about his love life, he probably wouldn't have hard feelings about him at all.

Kuroo nodded again, sharp and energetic, before he opened the door and left, leaving his landlord alone, since that seemed to be what he wanted most in the world.

Kuroo went back to his apartment, smiling dumbly the entire time be walked up the stairs. He couldn't believe it had been that easy. He hadn't even known what he was going to do and it still worked out in the end. That didn't happen very often.

As soon as he was back inside, he took his cellphone and called Kenma. He was expecting his call, so Kuroo wasn't surprised when it took only two rings for Kenma to answer.

"What's up, kitty cat?" Kuroo asked, way too cheerfully for the general shittiness of his life.

"I'm playing Overwatch, Tobio just came in to say my life is sad."

Kuroo almost choked because of how sudden his laughter came up. "What a bully. Are you winning?"

"Mmh, yeah, I am," Kenma replied noncommittally, and Kuroo could hear him furiously pushing his controller's buttons. "Did you want to talk about something?"

"Well, yesterday I was sorta freaking out because I thought that I would have to sell my body, but I just got my landlord to hear me out and he said I can pay my rent a little bit every week, so I'm a little better now."

"Good," Kenma replied, a little detached, but there enough. "Why can't you pay your rent? I thought that was fixed."

"It was, but then my landlord died and his nephew raised my rent. Back to the start."

Kenma had a quiet acknowledging noise. "That sucks. What happened to your previous landlord?"

"I don't even know," Kuroo admitted, shrugging even though Kenma couldn't see him. "I didn't know he'd died before yesterday."

"That's crazy," Kenma said, not sounding like people are supposed to sound when they say that, but Kenma was a special little guy.

Kuroo chuckled, picturing Kenma's face while he said that. "So, how are your boyfriends?"

Kenma laughed back, but so subtly, like he always did when Kuroo mentioned it. "They're great, I don't know what they're doing though."

"You're so lucky, you share the rent in three," Kuroo whined enviably. "But your bed too, so I guess we can't have it all."

"I guess," Kenma replied, obviously smiling softly on his side of the phone.

Kuroo groaned, remembering how he'd been shamed for not having a girlfriend the day before, and then on the phone with his mom a week ago. Well, girlfriend, it could definitely be a boyfriend too.

"My landlord also told me that I wouldn't have any problem if I didn't live alone, which I think is something nobody is telling you," Kuroo added, smiling when he heard Kenma's soft laugh.

"No, never heard that," Kenma replied, and then he was quiet, smashing the buttons loud enough for Kuroo to hear again.

“Anyway,” Kuroo said to break the silence, walking further into his living room, “tell the boys I said hi, and take breaks every hour.”

Kuroo could feel Kenma rolling his eyes into his soul. “I’ll tell them, and you’re delusional if you think I’m gonna do that.”

Tetsurou chuckled, holding the phone tighter against his face. “Text me later?”

Kenma agreed, and after they’d said their goodbyes, Kuroo ended the call. He felt a little pinch in his heart when the call disconnected, the same hurt he always felt when he was completely alone without even a voice in his ear. Kuroo wasn’t sad, or at least, it wasn’t awful, but he still longed for someone. He used to have Kenma over all the time, and Bokuto would also show up so often that Kuroo’s mom sometimes made him a school lunch in the morning, but now…

Kuroo went to lay down on his couch and tried to distract himself with his phone, but there was nothing to do. He closed his eyes and left the phone on his stomach, taking deep breaths as he started feeling drowsy. He decided to give in, since there was no point in staying awake now. God, okay, maybe he was sad.

 

* * *

 

Oikawa got home around 5:30, but Kuroo gave him a little bit of time before he barged into his apartment, yelling his name like a heathen. He found him sitting in the living room with his laptop on his knees, looking at Kuroo over the screen of the computer with just a hint of pink on his cheeks.

Oikawa squinted angrily at him, but Kuroo’s only answer was a pleased grin. “Am I ruining date night?” Kuroo asked, walking closer to Oikawa and sitting on the couch next to him.

"Of course not, we were expecting you," Oikawa replied with a pleasant smile, the fakest one that Kuroo had ever seen.

"Hey, Iwa, how're you doing?" Kuroo asked instead of humouring Oikawa with some childish grimace.

"Oh, yeah," Iwaizumi began to answer, "I'm good, thanks." He was smiling politely, way more nicely than Oikawa had been.

"I've heard about your feud with the landlord," he continued, grinning subtly when he remembered whatever Oikawa had told him.

Kuroo clenched his teeth when he saw the smug look on Iwaizumi's face. "I was actually going to tell Oikawa about how I fixed it all on my own earlier today," he replied proudly.

"Did you?" Oikawa asked, and his surprise was so strong that it made Kuroo feel like he was being attacked.

"Yes I did, I went to see him and we reached a compromise," Kuroo explained, shaking his head yes a couple of times to add credibility to his story. "I agreed on his terms as long as he let me pay a smaller amount every week. I'll build my budget around this and I'll make every cut I can make."

Iwaizumi looked like he was impressed, nodding as to approve of Kuroo's problem-solving compromise. “I’ve never seen you that efficient,” he commented, a sly grin appearing on his lips when Kuroo took it as more of an insult than a compliment and it showed quite a bit on his face.

“You guys could try to be nice once in a while, I thought I was going to die for a good 18 hours,” Kuroo fought back, pouting exaggeratedly and making Iwaizumi laugh. Oikawa only rolled his eyes and went to pinch Kuroo’s thigh, but the latter moved away when he saw it coming from the corner of his eye.

“I’m really happy for you, now leave my home,” Oikawa said as he pointed at the front door, struggling to keep his face straight as Iwaizumi’s laugh was heard through the laptop’s speaker.

Kuroo pulled his tongue out and made a face at his friend before he stood up from the couch and wished Iwaizumi a good night. He left with his chin raised in the air, pretending he was too elegant to emote any negative emotion. He knew that Oikawa would come over to his place as soon as his skype call would be over anyway, so he walked into his apartment feeling refreshed and a little bit less sad.

 

* * *

 

It was 8 am, and Kuroo had work at 9, so he was checking his mail as he ate breakfast (dry cereals again). He had two publicity pamphlets, a letter from his grandma who was probably sending him pictures of birds again, and a couple of bills that belonged to the old lady in apartment 4. That happened often, the mailman was lazy and he got everybody’s mail messed up. Kuroo would probably come back from work with a couple letters on his floor that someone would’ve slid under the door.

Kuroo grabbed his phone and considered complaining about the mailman for the third time in three months, but since that had done nothing so far, he sighed and accepted his new role as the second mailman of the building. He went downstairs to bring the letters to the old lady, knocking softly on her door so he wouldn’t startle her. It was still early in the morning, at least she probably wouldn’t think that it was a dangerous person.

She opened the door with a smile beaming on her face, standing tall with all of her 4 foot and 11 inches. Kuroo had omitted to ask her for her signature the day before since he’d been knocking on doors late in the evening. He had no idea when an 80 year old woman was supposed to go to bed, but in doubt, he preferred to avoid disturbing her.

“Good morning ma’am, I got some of your mail again,” Kuroo explained as he showed her the letters, letting her take them as she read what was written on the first envelope.

“Oh, thank you young man,” the lady said, looking back up to smile at him again. She was so brightly happy that it made Kuroo’s mood a little better.

To their right, a door clicked open and someone walked out of their apartment, so their attentions were both grabbed by the noise. Kuroo and the old lady watched as Tsukishima locked his door and made his way to the front door of the building, walking in front of them.

Kuroo frowned when he noticed the clothes he was wearing, not that they were inappropriate or bad looking, but they were… strange. They had a safari vibe, and that was somewhat out of place, or at least it seemed to be.

The lady smiled and wished him good morning as he walked past them, but Kuroo couldn’t do that. He couldn’t act like he wasn’t seeing what he was seeing, it would hurt him too much.

“What’s with the Indiana Jones outfit?” Kuroo asked, trying to make it sound as friendly as he could so it wouldn’t be taken the wrong way. He knew that the question in itself was tricky, but he thought that his tone of voice had been enough to turn it into a funny remark instead of an hurtful comment regarding Tsukishima’s fashion sense.

The landlord slowed his step, turning his head to look at Kuroo like someone’s who’s about to tell you they’re not interested when you hit on them. “I’m going to work,” he simply replied, finally slowing down to a halt and watching Kuroo as if he dared him to say anything else.

Kuroo scoffed and kept smiling dumbly after, hardly believing what he was hearing. “Working where?”

Tsukishima sighed and turned around completely to face Kuroo and invest himself in a conversation that he visibly loathed. “I’m an animal behaviorist and trainer at the zoo, would you wish to see my resume?”

Kuroo stood there with his eyes wide and his brain rebooting like he’d just been asked to complete a math problem in 10 seconds. Kei looked at him for a couple more seconds before he clicked his tongue, had a bratty smile and turned around to leave. Kuroo didn’t know what else he had expected, really. Maybe an accountant or something boring like that, but not an _animal trainer_.

The old lady of apartment 4 was looking up at him like she didn’t want him to let Tsukishima go this easy. She was curious too, Kuroo could tell just from the new fire in her eyes.

“Any animal, or some kind in particular?” He asked when he decidedly couldn’t think of anything else.

Tsukishima stopped in his tracks again, bringing a hand to his hair to show his irritation. “ _Some kind_ ,” he repeated mockingly, turning just a little bit so he could see Kuroo. “Turtles, right now, but it changes all the time.”

Kuroo nodded, taking on this new information as slowly as the first time. When you asked Kuroo to picture a zoo, he thought about giraffes, peacocks and flamingos, not turtles.

Tetsurou inclined his head to the side like a confused puppy and he felt the eyes of the old lady on him begging him to say something else. “How do you train a turtle?”

Tsukishima had to use some strong self-control to keep himself from face-palming. He was going to be late if he wasted more time with this clown, so he had to find a way out of this. “It’s like dogs, the ones I’m taking care of just learned to sit.”

Kuroo felt like he was being mocked, but he bit on the bait anyway, just to see if he could make the guy smile again. “Really?”

Kei rolled his eyes and reached for the handle of the front door, opening the door and getting ready to leave. “No, not really.”

Kuroo caught a glimpse of the smug, satisfied half-smile on his landlord’s face right before he turned around for good and left the building. Both Kuroo and the lady stood there for way too long, watching the door and wondering what the hell had just happened.

“Anyway,” Kuroo said when he shook himself out of his surprise, “have a good day, ma’am.”

“You too,” she said, still smiling sweetly as she watched him leave.

 

* * *

 

 **[9:05]** _Kuroo Tetsurou sent:_

Dude you’ll never believe what I learned this morning

 **[9:06]** _Oikawa Tooru sent:_

the fuck, spill

_Kuroo Tetsurou sent:_

Tsukishima a.k.a our asshole of a landlord works at the zoo as an animal behaviorist/trainer

 **[9:07]** _Oikawa Tooru sent:_

sounds fake

need receipts

 **[9:08]** _Kuroo Tetsurou sent:_

Well he asked if I wanted to see his resume so I can get that for you

_Oikawa Tooru sent:_

are u fucking serious

 **[9:09]** _Kuroo Tetsurou sent:_

Yeah I swear

He’s the turtle man apparently

 **[9:10]** _Oikawa Tooru sent:_

ur messing with my head

don’t u have any1 to bother while i process this

 **[9:11]** _Kuroo Tetsurou sent:_

Store’s been open for 10 mins, there’s nobody here

_Oikawa Tooru sent:_

well gimme a second

 

Kuroo grinned and looked at his Facebook feed in the meantime, waiting for Oikawa to pick himself up and write to him again. They would often spend hours sending messages back and forth when they worked at the same time, because Oikawa’s job was bland and sad if they didn’t, and because Kuroo worked in an old record store that was empty for most of the time. If he had to be honest, his job was probably the only aspect of his life that was going well at the moment, and that was only because he basically had nothing to do there.

He heard the soft ding of a new message coming through the speakers of the computer, so he opened the window of his conversation with Oikawa again.

 

 **[9:15]** _Oikawa Tooru sent:_

im kinda curious to know what these turtles r like

arent u too

 **[9:16]** _Kuroo Tetsurou sent:_

You’re dumb

_Oikawa Tooru sent:_

im not kidding

 **[9:17]** _Kuroo Tetsurou sent:_

You want to show up there and act like we’re innocently looking at the turtles?

 **[9:18]** _Oikawa Tooru sent:_

why

do you want him to think that we’re looking at them non-innocently?

like in a sexy way

 **[9:19]** _Kuroo Tetsurou sent:_

I can’t believe the things I read…

 **[9:20]** _Oikawa Tooru sent:_

we’ll talk about it tomorrow night with bo im sure he’ll be down

_Kuroo Tetsurou sent:_

To look at the turtles sexily?

 **[9:21]** _Oikawa Tooru sent:_

i love it when u act like u don’t understand

always so funny

 **[9:22]** _Kuroo Tetsurou sent:_

:)

If we get in trouble I’m snitching that it was your idea all along

 **[9:23]** _Oikawa Tooru sent:_

i love it when u talk dirty

we need a way to know when’s the next time he works and we’re free tho

_Kuroo Tetsurou sent:_

I’ll find that out

 **[9:24]** _Oikawa Tooru sent:_

lmao alright

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> argggg so that one is done as well now omg
> 
> I guess we can all smell how Bad™ Oikawa's ideas are going to be
> 
> Zoo keeper Tsukishima was inspired by [this wonderful art](http://ryugazakkis.tumblr.com/post/149879275553/reptile-keeper-tsukishima-because-one-time)
> 
> Tell me what you thought!! I really appreciated the warm response on the first chapter, it's the major reason why I finished that one so quickly! I hope you guys still like it so far :)
> 
> Love you all xxx  
>  
> 
> [You can follow me on the tumbler.com](http://sandgoddess.tumblr.com)


	3. Mystery

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi how's it going
> 
> I'm still heavily procrastinating my school work
> 
> Help me God

Bokuto had that dumb face he made when he was deep in thought, but what thoughts, he wasn't sure. The poor boy wasn't stupid, not even close to that, but he often frowned in a way that made him look like he'd forgotten his own name.

"Who are we even talking about?" He asked once the boys had stopped talking over each other, trying to explain the situation (Kuroo) and to expose a plan that was so, so short of simply being called a visit at the zoo (Oikawa).

"The landlo-"

"Turtle man!" Oikawa yelled over Kuroo, yelping when he got slapped on the arm a second later.

"The ex-landlord's nephew, code name bitterbutt, now current landlord of this _wonderful_ building-"

"What does that have to do with turtles?" Bokuto interrupted, puzzled.

"Didn't you listen to me?" Oikawa gasped, apparently offended that Bokuto had not chosen to listen to him and only him while he and Kuroo spoke at the same time.

"I tried!"

"Okay," Kuroo said as he shook his hands in the air for a couple of seconds, catching everyone's attention and shutting them up at the same time, "Oikawa wants to spy on the new landlord at the zoo because he doesn't look like the type of guy who'd work with animals, or any kind of living thing, really, so he wants you to come with us."

"Why are you talking like I planned all of this on my own?" Oikawa wondered aloud in an accusatory voice.

"Because you're the one who doesn't believe him, you didn't see the clothes he was in this morning."

Oikawa smiled and had this mean-spirited frown of his, looking like a child who's about to repeat what you just said in an annoying voice. "How long did you spend ogling him?"

Bokuto laughed and Kuroo rolled his eyes. "Funny, anyway, from what I could gather when I was walking home and he was almost literally running away from me, he should be working tomorrow."

Oikawa raised an eyebrow at him and scowled. "How did you get that if he was running away from you?"

"He mumbled something about _Sunday getting its ass over here already_ , quote unquote," Kuroo replied smugly like he'd just defeated evil.

Bokuto nodded, impressed, while Oikawa sighed dramatically. "And you're assuming that he's working tomorrow because of that?"

"Saturday isn't usually a day where people work, is it?" Bokuto asked and got confused expressions as his only answer.

"Zoos are open 7 days a week, check your privilege."

"Says daddy's assistant with a 9 to 5," Kuroo said too quickly to face the consequences of his words, staring at Bokuto with a straight face to reroute Oikawa's attention. "He was leaving around 8:30 this morning, so he should be working around the same time today."

Oikawa sent him a stinking look, which meant that Kuroo would suffer later, but that he was letting it go for now. "We should go around 10 so we don't arise suspicions," he suggested, getting positive nods as answers.

Bokuto looked up at the both of them from where he was sitting on the couch, still nodding in agreement until he stopped and squinted. "I still can't figure out what any of this has to do with turtles?"

Oikawa grasped at his own hair with both hands, so Kuroo took over for him.

"I was curious to know what poor animals he was taking care of and he told me that it changed all the time, but that it currently was the turtles."

Bokuto's eyes were wide with understanding, so Oikawa left his hair alone and watched him expectedly.

"What kind of turtles though?" Bokuto asked, as if they had an answer for him. "Like, the really small ones? Or the huge ones that live for 500 years?"

"I don't think anything lives for 500 years," Kuroo replied, grinning wholeheartedly at how cute and naïve Bokuto was being.

Oikawa scoffed and sat next to Bokuto, nudging the boy's thigh with his knee. "I think those are called tortoises," he said, smiling bright and wide with just a bit of mischief in his eyes.

"Are we gonna watch the movie or do you guys want to keep making me feel dumb for a couple more hours?" Bokuto pouted when he finished speaking, giving Kuroo some seriously unfair puppy eyes.

They let it go instantly, patting Bokuto on the shoulders to get his spirits back up. Kuroo had a sorry smile when he saw that the pout had not left Bokuto’s face, so he sat on his other side, nudging his leg just like Oikawa had done before.

“Do you feel more like getting wings or pizza for the movie?” He asked, grinning already, well aware of how Bokuto’s face was assured to look in less than a second. Sure enough, the man looked up at him with a luminous and innocent gleam in his eyes, his lips quickly stretching into a wide smile.

Oikawa made a face and tilted his head on the side, looking at Kuroo with an unimpressed gaze. “Aren’t you supposed to be careful with your money?”

Bokuto’s expression fell back to sadness in a second, but Kuroo only grinned dumbly. “Who said I was paying?”

Oikawa shook his head, but Bokuto’s shoulder rose up a little bit. He didn’t give a shit that he had to pay as long as he was getting food apparently, which was something that Kuroo had been counting on. He ordered what Bokuto wanted and they waited for it to get there before they started the movie that Oikawa had brought, and they watched it as they ate, Bokuto sharing some of his comfort food. They did this every Friday night, sometimes it was movies, sometimes it was games if Kenma came along, sometimes it was mindless drinking, but it was always a night that Kuroo couldn’t wait for. He liked when his apartment came to life with visitors, and he also missed his friends so easily lately that seeing some of them once a week was not even enough. He guessed that was what happened when all of your friends got into relationships and moved on with their lives while you stayed behind, celibate and sad.

 

* * *

 

Bokuto had stayed over and slept on the couch the night before, and it made Kuroo feel like they were on some kind of super-secret heist that they couldn’t fuck up. On a Saturday morning, no less.

Oikawa met them outside the building at 9:30, stretching his arms over his head to act like he was still trying to wake up. Since his hair was done and his skin had obviously been washed and moisturized and all those other things that he did to it that Kuroo didn’t understand, he must’ve already been up for at least an hour. Kuroo rolled his eyes and gave him a sign to follow along, walking towards the nearest bus stop.

They got on the bus and sat quietly for a couple of minutes before Oikawa frowned and gave Kuroo’s knee a pinch to get his attention. “How do you know which zoo we have to go to?”

“The only one that’s in walking distance according to Google maps,” Kuroo answered with a shrug while Bokuto looked at him in awe of his logic once again.

“ _Sooo_ you didn’t ask him which zoo he works at?” Oikawa asked, sounding like he’d been waiting to find a flaw in Kuroo’s talents as a detective.

Kuroo leaned back and sighed, which Oikawa took as a confession of his stupidity instead of the genuine expression of irritation that it really was. “I’ve seen him walk to and from work, so unless he likes to walk for hours to get to work, that must be the zoo he works at. Also, he moved in the building after he became the landlord even though his uncle didn’t even live there, which probably means that he decided to live here because it was closer to his workplace. Do you have any other questions?”

Oikawa stared at him with wide eyes, smiling in pleased surprise. “You really thought about this,” he replied smugly.

“I’m smart, dude.”

“You _are_ smart,” Bokuto agreed as he shook his head, looking at Oikawa from the corner of his eye like he was asking him to approve as well.

Oikawa glared back, silently asking Bokuto if he was being for real. The other man shrugged innocently while Kuroo laughed at them, patting Bokuto’s arm to let him know that it was fine.

It only took five minutes to get there, and it made Kuroo wonder why he had never visited this place before. When they got to the front desk and bought their passes, he remembered why. 7,800 yen for one pass.

It hurt deep within his soul, but he could survive that, he could. Or he could also pretend to fall and hurt himself to sue the zoo…

Once the three of them were in the park area, they grabbed a map and looked for the turtle enclosure. It was the furthest away, right next to the kid’s park with waterslides and small rollercoasters. They sighed but started walking, zigzagging between tourists, strollers and brain dead parents.

They didn’t walk too quickly, even stopping to look at the animals on their paths a couple of times. Bokuto was fascinated by the emus, and Kuroo tried to fit his hand between the metal wires of a fence to pet a friendly looking alpaca.

It’s only when they realised just how huge this place was that Oikawa started feeling guilty for dragging them there. They’d been there for a good while and they were just getting to the turtles, not to mention how many people there was and how humid the air was that day.

When they saw the turtles, Kuroo frowned and turned to give Oikawa a confused look. “They _are_ tortoises,” he said as Oikawa stared at the reptiles with the same confusion, coming to the same conclusion.

“Are they super old?” Bokuto asked, starry eyed as he watched the tortoises through the glass.

“Maybe,” Kuroo replied, walking closer to join Bokuto. Now that he saw more of what was happening behind the glass, his eyes automatically went to the only thing that did not fit with the earth colors of the environment. Pale skin with that strange dark beige outfit over it and the blond hair falling just a little bit too high to frame his face. There he was, he really was there. All of Kuroo’s guessing had actually been right, and he could barely believe it.

Bokuto followed Kuroo’s line of sight and audibly went “oh” when he saw Tsukishima who had just squatted down to a tortoise’s level and was looking at it like it was the cutest thing he had ever seen. Oikawa joined them a second later, asking what was going on before he stopped talking mid-sentence and also realised that Kuroo had been right about everything and that _Tsukishima was really working there_. It wasn’t a weird elaborate joke, it was real.

Tsukishima’s expression was nothing like either Kuroo or Oikawa had ever seen before. The way he seemed to be glowing with the sun shining on his skin and the softness in his expression was overwhelming, and it took them a second too long to realise that they probably shouldn’t have been standing in plain sight.

Feeling eyes on him, Tsukishima took his attention away from the tortoise in front of him and brought it on the three idiots that were staring at him from the other side of the glass. His expression didn’t turn severe and angry like they had expected it to, but the slight dent between his eyebrows and his suddenly tense mouth still sent a chill down Kuroo’s spine. The three friends only had to share a single panicked glare before they darted for the exit even though it was already too late. Their legendary stealth had just been defeated for the first time ever.

They got back to the entrance a lot quicker than it had taken them to get to the turtle enclosure, and once they were in the clear, Bokuto brought his hands to his hips in consternation and stared at the other two, silently asking for an explanation.

“I thought-“ Kuroo tried, taking a break in the middle to catch his breath, “I thought he was going to kill me with his eyes.”

Oikawa laughed nervously, grabbing his side just underneath his ribcage. He was also out of breath, but he was hiding it better. “I can’t believe my unhealthy curiosity has been found out,” he whined, shaking his head in disbelief.

“I mean, I can kinda understand why you wouldn’t believe that a guy with an aura of murder would be working with animals,” Bokuto granted, still stunned by what had just happened.

Kuroo left for a bench near the booth where they got their tickets, weakly waving to his friends once he was sitting down.

“I need a break,” he explained, exhaling strongly once he was able to take the tension out of his body.

Oikawa walked up to him and crouched to get to his level. “Sorry for dragging you here for this,” he said, instantly getting Kuroo’s startled attention.

“ _You’re_ sorry?” Kuroo mocked him.

Oikawa had a mean smile, but he quickly went back into his guilty mood. “I’ll pay you back for your pass, since it was my idea.”

Kuroo glared at him without saying anything, debating whether or not this counted as charity or pity, but he kept seeing 7,800 yen in big neon lights dancing in his head, so he decided to take Oikawa’s money. He didn’t know if he would ever get to see Oikawa apologize again in his life, so he had to take advantage of it.

 

* * *

 

It was the 6th of February, and Kuroo was bringing exactly a third of his monthly rent to his landlord in apartment 6. When Tsukishima opened the door, it took exactly half a second for his front of niceness to fall and leave the front stage for the usual scowl. It might’ve been a little nastier than usual, and the reason why was still too fresh in Kuroo’s mind. It had happened 3 weeks ago, but it felt like it was only yesterday when he had seen that glare of death.

“Hello,” Kuroo greeted him before he looked down, trying not to look at the other man for too long. “We didn’t discuss how we were going to do this when I signed my lease, so, huh, here I am I guess.”

Kuroo handed the envelope with the money in it to Tsukishima, making eye contact with him only for the short moment when both of their hands held on to the envelope. The landlord looked down at it and nodded right before he went to close the door, but as always, Kuroo had some kind of death wish so he stuck his foot between the door and the wall.

Tsukishima’s sigh could probably be heard from space. “What do you want?” he asked after he pushed the door open again.

“Actually, I wanted to say I was sorry?”

Tsukishima leaned on the doorway and glared at Kuroo with dead eyes. At least it didn’t feel like he was surrounded by the spirits of a thousand angry gods. “What are you sorry for? It’s not like I get to choose who can and can’t visit the zoo.”

“No, I know, but it was sorta rude of us and, anyway, yeah,” Kuroo ended with a nervous shrug.

“Well,” Tsukishima replied in a tone of voice that could only be described as the opposite of impressed, “do you have any more eloquent apologies that you wanted to give me?”

Kuroo tried to smile in a friendly way, but he was so used of grinning like he was just about to get in trouble that it probably came out as a mix of both. “No, but I meant to ask you why you said that they were turtles when they were clearly tortoises?”

Tsukishima raised his eyebrows, but his interest in the conversation was still very tame. “Because I didn’t think you would care about the difference,” he replied, slowly moving away from the door frame so he would stand straight again.

“And how are they? Still slow and old?”

The corners of Tsukishima’s mouth raised up briefly, but the almost-smile was gone in a second. “Probably, but I’ve been moved to the lion’s den a week ago so I don’t really know.”

Kuroo stood there with his lips slightly apart in surprise long enough for Tsukishima to stare at him questioningly. _The lion’s den_. 

“You work with _lions_?” Kuroo asked, sounding absolutely amazed.

“Only one, actually. Her name’s Millie, she’s been raised with humans since she was a cub.”

Kuroo couldn’t do anything but smile when he heard that. He couldn’t believe that they had not taken the time to see the lions at all when they visited the zoo, and now he just wanted to go back and see Millie.

“So she’s like a big cat, all cuddly and not dangerous at all?”

“Yeah,” Kei replied, smiling just a little tiny bit at how excited Kuroo was about it. “She’ll only bite your arm off if you have a piece of meat in your hand and you won’t let her have it.”

Kuroo’s expression fell, going completely blank. “You’re kidding, right?”

“No,” Tsukishima replied with a shrug, torturing Kuroo a little longer before he would be real with him. “Of course I’m kidding, she’s never bitten anyone before.”

Kuroo took a deep breath, feeling a lot better. He had silently been hoping to be able to meet and pet Millie someday, and this would’ve completely ruined it.

“Would you actually mind if I came back one day to see her?”

Tsukishima bit the inside of his cheek, probably wondering if he should’ve been honest or not. “Well, it doesn’t matter if I mind or not, and you’ll only be allowed to see her through the glass of the den.”

“Okay, so I’ll come back to see her. When will you be there?”

Tsukishima stared at Kuroo for a couple of seconds in silence, taken aback by his directness. “Huh, I’m there all week except for Wednesday and Sunday.”

Kuroo grinned widely, giving his landlord a sharp nod and walking a short step away from his door. “Alright then, I’ll see when I can make it.”

Tsukishima nodded back right before Kuroo started leaving, and he watched him go with a perplexed gaze.

 

* * *

 

 **[16:23]** _Kuroo Tetsurou sent:_

My landlord trains lions

 **[16:23]** _Kozume Kenma sent:_

??????????

 **[16:24]** _Kuroo Tetsurou sent:_

Like he’s literally an animal trainer who trains lions

How cool is that?

_Kozume Kenma sent:_

Very cool

But I thought he was mean to you?

 **[16:25]** _Kuroo Tetsurou sent:_

He is

But he also trains lions

I mean go figure

 **[16:26]** _Kozume Kenma sent:_

Any person who likes lions should also like you, obviously

Kuroo Tetsurou sent:

Are you saying I’m like a lion

 **[16:27]** _Kozume Kenma sent:_

Nah ur right, Lev’s the lion

You’re more like a Pallas’s cat

 **[16:29]** _Kuroo Tetsurou sent:_

I just looked up what that is

You just say that because of my hair don’t you

 **[16:30]** _Kozume Kenma sent:_

I don’t think I was trying to be sly

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Go look up Pallas's cats on google for real I laughed so hard
> 
> Sorry this one is a bit shorter! I promise they will get longer at some point, but I have to build the story first!
> 
> I hope you had a good time reading this! I know I had a fucking blast writing it, but I kinda can't wait for it to get Real™
> 
> Anyway, tell me what you thought about it, I would love love love to get your feedback! See you guys soon xxx
> 
>  
> 
> [My tumblr](http://sandgoddess.tumblr.com)


	4. Snake

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi my lovelies! Finally, spring break is here for me!
> 
> I hope you all have a good read :)

His mother was staring at him, grasping the back of the kitchen chair between her tense fingers. He sat in silence, looking down at the floor between his sneakers. He was ready for her fury, and she had all the right to be angry. No one has a child to watch them ruin themselves and completely fail at everything they attempt to accomplish. If she had cared so little, she would've gotten a dog instead.

He didn't know what else to say, so he waited. He knew it would be a hundred times worse if he didn't even try to explain himself, but he was tired of justifying his choices again and again. His mother sighed and let her head fall forward, bringing a hand to rub her eyes angrily as her second hair held even tighter to the edge of the chair.

"So that's what you're doing? Wasting the money that I invested in you all my life because you're tired?"

Kuroo shrugged, pouting just arrogantly enough to show that he didn't know what else to add. "Yeah, I'm done."

She looked like she was about to burst for a second before she got it down under control, but her voice definitely sounded more panicked than it did before. "You do realise that I must've put at least 2 million yen in your college fund? Do you realise that I didn't have any other children because I wanted to give you the best life possible?"

His eyes stung, and he hated that. He was still glaring at the floor decidingly, but he refused to cry. "I do realise that, that's why I stayed in a dead end program in college for years because I felt too guilty."

"What do you mean, dead end? You could just finish it! You worked for it for two years, at least get the damn piece of paper to hang on your wall!"

Kuroo lifted his head just then, staring at his mother like he could not believe what he had just heard. His shocked scoff turned into a defying smile, the kind that made his mother beyond furious. "So this really isn't about me, huh? You just want me to get the goddamn diploma so I can AT LEAST have a reason to whine when I end up working in a fast food restaurant, right mom?"

His mother was still enraged, but there was a fine sheen of tears building up at the bottom of her eyes and Kuroo was already sick of it before she even started crying.

"Or is it that you want to boast to your friends about you genius of a son who finished his degree with honours and keeps making you happy just as much as the day he was born?"

His mother took her hand off the chair and shook it nervously, a sign that probably meant it was enough. She clutched at her heart and left for the living room, refusing to look or to listen to her son anymore.

Kuroo stood up and grabbed his school bag, leaving for the front door in a breeze. "I'll be ready to talk once you stop acting like I'm more of an investment than a human being!"

 

* * *

 

Oikawa was sitting at Kuroo's table, checking the list of expenses that the latter had came up with to find out where he could cut.

"Is your membership at the gym really necessary? Just jog outside. Use Kenma's cats as weights. Find a way."

Kuroo pulled his tongue out and made a face at him, quickly switching that expression to something more exasperated. "If I don't have it, I'll just stop working out altogether, I know myself."

"And we don't want you to become sluggish and lose those sweet muscles of yours, do we?" Oikawa asked with a nasty smile.

Kuroo was giving him the same, though much faker smile, when he suddenly felt like he had a deja vu. He remembered smiling like this earlier that day, but he couldn't remember who he'd been talking to. Oikawa was the first person he had seen all day, it must've been a weird deja vu, nothing else.

Oikawa frowned in confusion when he noticed the distracted look on Kuroo's face, standing up briefly to sit on his stool again, but facing his friend this time. "What's up?"

It all came back to Kuroo at once, as if a wave had washed over him. He looked up at Oikawa slowly, looking quite puzzled as he did. "I dreamt of my mother last night."

Oikawa leaned back a little bit, studying Kuroo's expression for a while longer before he spoke again. "The same dream again?" He asked, the worry lines on his forehead now visible.

"No, it felt way more real than that," Kuroo explained, feeling confused about it now that he thought back on what had happened in the dream.

Oikawa leaned forward this time, joining his hands and letting them rest casually on his knees. His expression, though, was uncharacteristically serious.

"Once the money situation is dealt with, that won't happen again."

Kuroo watched Oikawa blankly for a couple of seconds before he nodded, bringing his attention back to the copies of his lists of incomes and expenses that he had on his knees.

Oikawa did the same, breathing out one short sigh as he sat at the table once again. "Okay, so- wait, is that really all you pay for groceries?"

Kuroo blinked up and shrugged absentmindedly. "I told you I already cut everywhere I can."

"Did you even have one vegetable in the last couple of days?"

Kuroo grinned awkwardly and hissed quietly between his teeth. "Green onions in my instant noodles?"

"The dried ones that come in the package?"

"Yes?"

Oikawa propped his elbow on the table and rubbed his eyelids, suddenly looking like an overworked mother of four. "You're coming over to my place for dinner at least twice a week starting now - AND I don't want to hear it! This isn't an offer, you will be there and you will eat something that isn't made in a microwave."

Kuroo stared at his friend, speechless, but pleasantly stunned.

"I cook like shit though so that'll be your punishment for never accepting my help," Oikawa finished with a proud smile that would've probably made most people want to take a swing at his face.

"So your food tastes like shit but because you throw a couple of vegetables in there it's fine?"

Oikawa's gaze became sharp like a knife in the beat of a second. "You have two dinners a week to stop worrying about and you're criticizing the way I live?"

"I can help you, if you want," Kuroo offered with a teasing half-smile.

Oikawa raised his eyebrows, dubitous. "So now mister ramen noodles is a chef?"

"Well, I know how to make legit food that doesn't taste like garbage."

Oikawa blinked at Kuroo with his jaw hanging low in absolute bewilderment, gasping out a shocked laugh.

"So I guess free garbage isn't worth your time?" He asked, jokingly threatening to take his offer back.

Kuroo smiled and looked down at his notes. "Do you or do you not want me to help you make it not garbage?"

"Just tell me what I need to get and I'll watch you cook while I drink wine."

Kuroo looked up and grinned in a way that made him look 10 years younger, all bright and silly. "Are you hiring me as a cook or training me to become Iwaizumi?"

Oikawa rolled his eyes but quickly began smiling as well, heaving a long sigh that sounded fond through the exasperation. "We really need to get you a date so you stop joking about replacing my boyfriend."

"What do you mean, joking? You know as much as I do that it is the grand scheme of life."

Oikawa pouted and gave a vacant gaze through the lenses of his glasses. "God, when was the last time you even went on a date?"

"Last century," Kuroo joked with a fake smile, silently thanking Oikawa for reminding him.

"What's this gym membership for then?"

Kuroo stopped holding back against the urge to chuck a throw pillow at Oikawa's face.

 

* * *

 

Kuroo was about to leave for work, and he had enough time to walk there, so he put on his sportier shoes and went downstairs, picking up his mail once he was in the lobby. Everything seemed fine until he noticed one envelope at the bottom of the stack of adds and credit card offers that didn't belong to him. How did the mailman always mess up his letters with those of people who lived on the first floor? That was an entirely different row of mail boxes, you literally had to try to fuck it up. It might've been payback for the complaints, Kuroo thought as he looked at the name on the envelope. He turned around and went from one side of the hallway to the other, heading over to apartment 6.

He knocked on the door for the second time that week, thinking back to what Tsukishima had told him about his schedule. It was Wednesday, so he was probably home, but there was also a chance that he was still sleeping. Kuroo should've just slid the letter underneath the door, but it was too late for that now.

The landlord opened the door around 20 seconds later, holding a cup of coffee nonchalantly and watching Kuroo as if he suddenly wondered if it was next week already.

"Got some of your mail mixed in mine," Kuroo explained quickly, handing the letter to its recipient.

Tsukishima grabbed it and immediately started closing the door after giving a short nod of thanks and goodbye all at once. Just before the door was completely shut, Kuroo thought he saw a man walking out of a room further into the apartment, a room that must've been Tsukishima's bedroom, and that person wasn't wearing enough clothes to be decent. Kuroo stood in front of the closed door for half a minute as he processed the new information, and he ended up accepting that this might as well be happening. That made sense.

Kuroo walked to work with the thought that Tsukishima had a boyfriend and he didn't nagging him at the back of his mind, and the first thing he did when he got there was to boot up the computer and log in on Facebook to message Oikawa about it. He could've texted him on the way, but he had been too busy hating his life.

 

 **[8:54]** _Kuroo Tetsurou sent:_

Oiks

I had some of Tsukishima's mail this morning

So I went to give it to him

And there was a half naked guy in his apartment

 

Kuroo waited for a couple of minutes, opening the programs he needed on the computer while Oikawa took his sweet time to answer. He was also starting at 9, but he was always 15 minutes early and he usually answered if Kuroo talked to him before 9.

He swept the floor and checked if anyone had left phone messages in the night, and he was just about to go back to the computer when a regular walked in. Kuroo turned away from her and rolled his eyes, because he knew this was going to be a trip. Miss Kobayachi was always looking for something to criticize about either the store, the vinyl that they had available or Kuroo himself. He really wished that Kiyoko would be there right now because she was the only one who knew how to deal with the customer from hell.

She went straight to the vinyl's booth, browsing through the titles that she had probably all seen a hundred times. They rarely ever got new ones, but she was always there to make the inventory for them.

Kuroo walked up to her and asked her if she needed help, a question that she did not deem necessary to answer. Instead, she pulled one of the vinyl out and showed it to Kuroo.

"You had two of these last week, who bought the second one?"

Kuroo frowned, but he kept a polite smile. "I don't know, mam. I don't think I was working when it was sold."

"Obviously not since I never see you sell anything," she exclaimed as she left for the compact disk section, looking at the new releases. "What's good in those new albums?"

Kuroo had trouble keeping up the smile, but he succeeded to make it even larger, even more welcoming. "I don't think our music tastes would be compatible, mam."

That attempt at an almost-joke fell flat, because the woman nodded and looked at Kuroo with wide eyes. He had never seen such an intense _no shit_ look before.

"I was asking per your experience, not your tastes," the woman replied after she looked away.

"To be completely honest with you, I haven't had time to listen to most of them," Kuroo replied with a shrug, trying out the charming honesty tactic.

The woman turned around sharply and stared at him like he'd just said something that could get him locked up. "What? Do you mean that you have a job that requires no education and you find a way to be lazy? Don't you feel grateful at all?"

Kuroo felt his eyebrow twitch and his stomach drop. Since he had that dream on Monday, he kept being reminded of it, but that was the last drop.

"I'm sorry mam but I'll have to ask you to leave," Kuroo requested, and the woman's expression shifted in a way that meant she recognized that he wasn't joking in any way.

She looked at him with raw anger in her gaze, grabbing her bag tighter and moving away from Kuroo and towards the exit. "Your boss will hear about that."

Kuroo let her leave without replying to her, already thinking about how he would explain that to Kiyoko.

He walked back to the computer, feeling significantly more down than before. It's not like he had exactly needed that in his life right now. Oikawa had finally replied though, so Kuroo sighed in relief and opened the browser's window to read what he'd sent.

 

 **[9:04]** _Oikawa Tooru sent:_

One Of Us

 

Kuroo chuckled and shook his head, smiling weakly, but smiling nonetheless.

 

* * *

 

"Why are we doing this again?" Kuroo asked as Oikawa led him to the front desk of the zoo once again, having promised to pay for him before they got there.

Oikawa clicked his tongue and looked over his shoulder to give Kuroo a cheeky grin. "For the lion, Kuroo, the lion."

Kuroo had told him about Millie a couple of nights ago while they were playing racing games, and even though Oikawa had been curious about the lion ever since, Kuroo knew him enough to be sure that this wasn't the only reason they were here again.

"Yeah, that's your pretext, but what are we really here for?"

Oikawa pouted smugly and kept a mysterious silence, paying quickly and attempting to go straight for the lion's den. Kuroo followed him, unfolding the map clumsily and stretching his arms as far as they would go. When he located the lion's den, he guided Oikawa there and kept an eye out for light blond hair and an Indiana Jones cosplay without the hat.

There were 3 lions behind the glass, one male and two females. The two females were laying down on the sandy ground while the male was sleeping on top of what looked like an actual den in the rocks. Kuroo was wondering which of the two females was Millie when he heard Oikawa shriek and noticed that his friend wasn't looking at the lions anymore. He turned around to see what was so surprising, and what he saw made him run away to hide behind a tree.

Tsukishima had an enormous boa on his shoulders and was in the process of handing it over to one of his female co-worker who looked like she was barely 15. The snake must've been around 3 meters long, curling around Tsukishima's arm like it didn't want to let go. Both of the people involved in the transaction seemed to be way too chill about the enormous spawn of Satan being in contact with their bodies while Kuroo got chills just by looking at the thing.

Tsukishima, that bastard, was laughing at the priceless scene. "What, don't like snakes?"

Kuroo walked to the side a bit so his body wouldn't be completely hidden behind the tree. "I think it's more shameful to love them than to hate them!"

Tsukishima had an evil laugh once more. "You know all about shame, don't you?"

Kuroo sent him a burning glare, which only succeeded to make Kei seem even more viciously happy. Oikawa was looking at them curiously, shifting the direction of his gaze back and forth between Kuroo and Tsukishima with a pleased smile growing on his lips.

"Why do you even have snakes here? This is a zoo, not a horror museum."

Tsukishima sighed, quickly moving away from his co-worker and towards the glass in front of the lion's enclosure.

"You're here for Millie, aren't you?"

Kuroo walked further away from the tree, daring to walk closer to the snake so he could join Tsukishima. "Yeah," he said when he got there, worriedly side-eyeing the boa. "Which one is she?"

"Can't you tell?"

Kuroo noticed that one of the lions had left the enclosure and had been brought to a closed room that was closer to the back of the area, surrounded by wide windows. One of the lionesses was playing with a trainer, bouncing around and roaring softly at him. They couldn't hear her, but Kuroo could tell that it was an absolutely adorable roar just by looking at her.

"How old is she?" Kuroo asked, briefly looking at Tsukishima to see if he had gotten his attention.

"She's three, I'd just been hired here when she was born and I've been around her since then," Kei explained, his voice lacking the previous mocking tones that had tinted his words. Kuroo took his eyes away from the lion once more to gaze at Tsukishima, watching as the same look of pure adoration he'd had in front of the turtles was back on his face. Kuroo had a soft smile before he turned and looked at the lion who was rubbing her face all over the trainer's chest as he laughed.

"Last week, she wouldn't let anyone but me approach her," Tsukishima said out of the blue, making Kuroo curious.

"Why?"

"She became very nervous and protective since she got pregnant."

Kuroo's mouth fell open and he stared at Millie with stars in his eyes. "Oh my God, she's gonna have babies?"

Tsukishima scoffed once, sounding like he was mocking Kuroo, but that he was also genuinely amused by his enthusiasm. "Just one baby, but yes."

Kuroo grinned in front of the glass, already feeling excited about seeing a lion cub soon. “I hope you know that I’ll keep pestering you here now,” he threatened jokingly.

Tsukishima scoffed, turning away from the window and walking towards the center of the zoo. “Don’t kid yourself, you were already going to do that.”

Oikawa watched the man leave with a contemplative expression, elbowing Kuroo in the ribs once he was far enough not to see them. “Such an asshole, huh?”

Kuroo looked at him absentmindedly, smirking childishly when he realised what his friend had just said. “Yeah, he’s the worst.”

 

* * *

 

Kuroo was knocking on Tsukishima’s door for the last time of the month, holding the fourth and final part of his rent in a blank envelope. He’d been doing this for two months now, so the initial anxiety he had felt each time he had to knock on that door was mostly gone. The urge of calling Tsukishima a bitter asshole was also becoming less and less intense, so that was that.

When he opened the door, the landlord went straight for the envelope and didn’t bother to look at Kuroo with a welcoming gaze.

“It’s all there for March,” Kuroo claimed proudly.

Tsukishima glared down at him, and Kuroo was still wondering how he could loom over him so much even though he was barely taller than him.

“Congrats for managing basic finances.”

Kuroo blinked slowly, pretending to be surprised and offended. “Thanks,” he replied sarcastically, turning away from the man and starting to leave.

They usually kept their meetings short since Tsukishima was a very awkward human being who barely had any conversation and Kuroo was a fragile soul who easily felt unwanted, but it had been a while since Kuroo had had any update on Millie’s situation and he was starting to be curious.

He spun around in the middle of the hallway, catching Tsukishima’s attention as he was just about to shut his door. “How’s Millie doing? Still pregnant?”

The landlord pulled the door open again, leaning on the threshold after he shrugged. “She’s pretty much the same as usual, except even heavier.”

Kuroo nodded twice, trying to think of something else to say quickly. He was not prepared enough for this.

“Good. Huh. Tell me when she gives birth, I guess, I don’t know if that’s how you call animals… _giving birth_ … anyway,” Kuroo mumbled as he tried to find something else to say at the same time. His brain was going 80 miles per hour.

Kei frowned in confusion, but there was now a half-smile on his lips. “Yeah, that’s exactly how you call it.”

Kuroo lifted and lowered his chin confidently in one jerky nod. “Nice. Oh, actually, I meant to ask you because Oikawa asked me to ask you that, his boyfriend is coming back from his work trip next week and he’s having a dinner party over at his place Saturday night, pretty much everyone is invited.”

“Ah-“

“So if you wanted to bring someone, you totally could too,” Kuroo added, not trying to be too subtle about what he was really asking. He’d been curious about the almost naked man for the longest time too, so he guessed that if they ever were to meet Tsukishima’s boyfriend, it would be in a setting where other men also had boyfriends. Safety instincts at work and all that.

Tsukishima read through him like a bad book, though. Kuroo could see the look in his eyes change from relatively amused to coldly distant. He’d probably been wondering if Kuroo had seen anything, and this was basically the confirmation that he had.

“I know why you’re saying that,” Tsukishima said in a dead voice, glaring at Kuroo with a strange look of disappointment.

Feeling beyond confused at this point, Kuroo frowned and tried to find something else to say, but Tsukishima was faster than him.

“I don’t have a boyfriend, if that’s what you’re asking,” he added, crossing his arms and leaning even more heavily on the side of the door.

“Me neither,” Kuroo replied instantly, only realizing that it wasn’t the time to share facts about himself after it was too late.

“Oikawa does, though, that’s why… the dinner party,” he said, trying to fix the situation and only making it worse and even more ridiculous, as usual.

His clumsiness seemed to lighten up Tsukishima’s mood, though, and Kuroo felt immensely relieved. He would’ve hated to leave him feeling attacked or insulted.

Kuroo knew that he should’ve been long gone since he only seemed to put his feet in his mouth, so he tried to wrap up this awkward conversation without causing more harm. “Sorry for not minding my business, but I really was inviting you if you want to swing by.”

Kei moved away from the threshold and stood straight, and that normally meant that the conversation was soon to be over. “I’ll think about it,” he replied before he gave Kuroo a nod of goodbye and closed his door.

Kuroo was finally able to breathe properly, so he exhaled and inhaled deeply before he took the stairs to the second floor. He was still so bad at dealing with Tsukishima’s reactions, but at least now he knew that boyfriends were a touchy subject, which was definitely valuable information.

Almost as soon as he shut the door to his apartment, his cellphone started ringing. The number calling him wasn’t saved in his phone, but it looked like the music store's number, so he answered right away.

“Hello?”

“ _Kuroo-san? It’s Kiyoko._ ”

Kuroo winced silently, because even though Kiyoko did not usually bring a lot of emotion to her voice, this was not a tone of voice that meant good things were to come. “Hey, Kiyoko. What’s up?”

“ _I just received a third complaint for you this month_ ,” she explained blankly.

“Oh,” Kuroo simply answered, still processing what that meant before Kiyoko had to tell him. “Miss Kobayashi again?”

“ _Yes_ ,” Kiyoko replied. “ _I know how serious her complaints are, but you know the rules of the company. If you get three, I need to reduce your hours and give you a week of training to fix the issues brought up by the complaints._ ”

Kuroo felt his stomach drop and warm blood rush to his face. He panicked as he started thinking at an alarming speed, calculating how much money he had left, how much more he could cut in food, how he could murder miss Kobayashi, and so on.

“You can’t be serious,” Kuroo said in a grave voice once he reviewed everything and came to the conclusion that he was done with if this happened.

Kiyoko cleared her throat uncomfortably. “ _I’m afraid so. I really don’t want to do it, but my superiors are pushing me to._ ”

Kiyoko kept speaking, but Kuroo was elsewhere. He heard her say something about bringing his hours back to what they were before the latest raise, but Kuroo stopped paying attention to what she was saying then, his mind drifting away from her voice as he went further and further into despair.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TUN TUN TUN
> 
> Kiyoko isn't mean, don't worry, she's an angel u all kno it she'll fix that shit
> 
> TALK TO ME IN THE COMMENTS TELL ME WHAT YOU THOUGHT AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
> 
> Sorry I have a lot of energy I just came back from an exam and it went so well I still can't believe it  
> Anyway yeah tell me what you thought (〃＾▽＾〃)
> 
>  
> 
> [My tumblr](http://sandgoddess.tumblr.com)


	5. Casual

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's 3 am and I need to go to bed but everything is good my man what's up

**[19:07]** _Oikawa Tooru sent:_

do u think ull be able to hold back from only buying trash when we'll stop grocery shopping together?

 **[19:07]** _Kuroo Tetsurou sent:_

Probably not

 **[19:08]** _Oikawa Tooru sent:_

u can still eat at my place once in a while and u wont even have to cook ur own meals anymore

 **[19:08]** _Kuroo Tetsurou sent:_

Thanks

 **[19:09]** _Oikawa Tooru sent:_

im reading into the lines here and i have a feeling that ur not doing too good rn

 **[19:10]** _Kuroo Tetsurou sent:_

I want to die

Could you come over and kill me

Would be much appreciated

 **[19:11]** _Oikawa Tooru sent:_

omg u drama queen

wait a sec ill come kill u with a warm blanket

 

Kuroo was sitting at his kitchen table with his phone in his hand, his arm laying limp on the surface. Kiyoko had stopped having a one-way conversation about 10 minutes ago, hanging up after apologizing one last time, and he had been staying still until Oikawa had texted him.

His neighbour walked in without knocking, wrapping his warm electric blanket around Kuroo's shoulders and hugging him from behind.

"What's wrong baby doll?"

"Got cut off at work."

Oikawa hummed sadly, holding Kuroo even tighter and softly patting the front of his shoulder. "What happened?"

"A client kept complaining about me to Kiyoko because she reminded me of my mother and I pissed her off once."

Oikawa sighed, but he kept holding his friend without adding much more to that.

"You know what you should do? About the groceries?"

"Why are you asking me about groceries-"

"You're going to feed yourself on nothing but ramen noodles even more than before now and I'm thinking about your health," Oikawa replied strictly, almost yelling in Kuroo's ear.

Kuroo leaned forward and rested his head on the table, pulling Oikawa along. "If you're that worried, I can come along with you and Iwa."

Oikawa snapped his tongue in annoyance. "I know how much you hate being a third wheel, I won't put you through that."

"Why, do you guys get lovey-dovey in the middle of the frozen food section?"

"You'd be surprised," Oikawa said with a sticky sweet smile.

Kuroo sat up straight again, and Oikawa stayed right where he was, following along gracefully. "Alright then, what's your idea?"

"Did you invite Tsukishima to my party?" Oikawa asked, taking the conversation in a totally different direction like it was the most normal of things.

Kuroo frowned, but he figured that Oikawa was asking this because it was relevant to the idea he was going to explain.

"Yeah, like an hour ago," he replied, obviously curious for the rest.

"You told him it was fine if he brought his boyfriend?"

Kuroo could tell that there was an unnecessary amusement in Oikawa's voice, but he chose to pay no mind to it until he'd know why. "He said he doesn't have one."

Oikawa grinned, propping his chin on Kuroo's shoulder and adjusting the blanket around the latter's shoulders.

"I counted on that."

Kuroo had many questions about what that meant and why that was relevant, but he focused on Oikawa's lack of logic first. "How could you count on that when I literally saw a guy-"

"Have you ever been in his apartment?" Oikawa asked suddenly, interrupting Kuroo mid-way.

"Yes?"

"In his bathroom? There's only one toothbrush."

Kuroo shook free of Oikawa's embrace so he could glare at him properly. "That's seriously all you had?"

"Trust me, a guy in a relationship has a second toothbrush at his place whether he lives with his significant other or not," Oikawa explained as if nothing had ever been more obvious in life.

Kuroo was ready to accept that, so he gave in and shook his head, pretending it was a no-brainer. "And what does any of that have to do with groceries?"

Oikawa smiled again with his small mischievous smirk that always meant trouble. "Poor guy must be lonely."

Kuroo took a second to think about what Oikawa had just said, and when he understood where he was going, he sent him a glare of warning.

"You, more than anyone, know how boring it is to do your groceries alone," Oikawa continued, his smile stretching wider and wider.

Kuroo looked up at the ceiling like a bratty kid. "I don't exactly want to see him buy 200 pounds of lettuce for his turtles?"

"Hadn't we agreed that they were tortoises?"

"Why do you even think that this is a solution?"  Kuroo asked, bringing the conversation back to the topic at hand.

Oikawa shrugged, but the teasing smile on his lips showed that he knew exactly why he'd thought of that. "You know, just neighbour etiquette and all."

"Neighbour etiquette? Is there something you know less about?"

Oikawa pouted and faced away from Kuroo, refusing to look at him while he was being difficult.

"You can try to hurt me," he said, pretending like there'd just been an attempt on his life, "but who are you hurting more? The poor guy in apartment 6 who has no grocery shopping buddy, or me?"

Kuroo sighed and grabbed Oikawa's arm to make him turn back around and look at him. "Stop being dramatic and be honest."

Oikawa blinked three times, taking his arm away from Kuroo's loose grip and massaging his forearm as if it had hurt.

"Can't a guy scheme in peace?" He asked in an unsettlingly calm voice.

"What are you scheming?"

Oikawa grinned before he walked away, moving freely into Kuroo's living room. "Sometimes you truly are as slow as you sound."

Kuroo frowned and refused to think about it any longer, standing up from his table and following Oikawa into the living room with the blanket held tightly around his shoulders and neck. His friend was browsing through his collection of old DVDs that they sometimes watched when they were sad and needed an easy laugh. They were all movies that were so bad that they became amazing.

As he put his chin up on Oikawa's shoulder, which wasn't an easy feat because he was far from being on the short side, Kuroo sighed and closed his eyes. "I do need someone to watch over me and make sure I won't only buy cheap stuff that will kill me before I'm 50, though."

"Mmh, I know," Oikawa agreed, nodding softly.

Kuroo grunted quietly, at the back of his throat. "I'll think about it, I guess, but he'll probably be ten times harder to convince than me, and I'm not even convinced yet."

Oikawa had a short giggle, bringing his hand up to pat Kuroo's head. "Sure, whatever you say."

He picked a movie out of the shelf and moved to the couch, leaving Kuroo on the spot so quickly that he barely had time to catch his balance and not fall on his face.

"Did you eat anything tonight?"

Kuroo, still shaken from the sudden lack of support, just shook his head no and joined Oikawa on the couch.

"Let's put this on and order something, then," Oikawa proposed, shaking the DVD box in Kuroo's face.

He grabbed it and went to set the TV up, fake-laughing when Oikawa crossed his feet on Kuroo's bent back, using him as a foot rest.

"What did you want to order? Cause if you keep this up I'll be ordering you to leave," Kuroo threatened, leaving Oikawa totally unimpressed by his clever twist of words.

"I'm ordering you to stop being a little bitch, and probably chinese," Oikawa answered, smirking evilly by the end.

Kuroo chuckled, quickly finishing his setup and moving away from Oikawa's feet, letting them fall on the floor. When he came back to the couch, Oikawa was glaring angrily at him and massaging the foot that had fallen the hardest.

"Maybe order the chinese and a foot doctor?"

"Fuck you," Oikawa replied, smiling sarcastically and sending daggers with his eyes. "You're not getting food if you keep acting like an asshole."

Kuroo shrugged, keeping his gaze on the TV as the movie started. "You're the one who was using me as furniture."

"You aren't even decent furniture," Oikawa fought back, typing their order into his phone at the same time.

Kuroo snorted at the resentment in Oikawa's voice. "Well then, that's a win for me, you won't do that again."

"Now that you say that, I'll never stop doing it," Oikawa threatened darkly while he was placing the order, keeping his eyes down on his phone.

He only looked up and stared at Kuroo when he didn't get a follow up to the stupid banter they were having. Kuroo was fixedly watching the movie, with an half-smile that did not reach his eyes.

"You okay?"

Kuroo’s focus shifted from the movie, but he still wasn’t looking at Oikawa. His gaze was surveying the emptiness of the room, the blank wall of the living room. “Yeah, yeah,” he mumbled, going back to the movie almost instantly after that.

Oikawa clicked his tongue and patted his thigh, quickly ending up with Kuroo slumping down on him, whining like a wounded dog. “Promise me you won’t be MIA for a month like last time.”

Oikawa laughed, but it turned into a sigh at the end. “You’ve been single for so long, you don’t even understand my pain anymore.”

“Do you _need_ to keep reminding me?”

“Yes,” Oikawa replied proudly as he moved the blanket so it would cover Kuroo a little better, “and I can’t promise that.”

“Don’t you guys have, like, skype sex or something like that?” Kuroo asked, sounding like an ungrateful child.

Oikawa lifted one of his knees to shake Kuroo up. “You have such a twisted vision of my relationship,” he said, clearly smiling shamelessly as he did.

“Any idea why?”

Oikawa only patted his arm slowly, watching the movie in silence while Kuroo snickered where he lay, pinching Oikawa’s thigh to tease him a couple of times.

 

* * *

 

The morning of the party, Kuroo woke up feeling groggy and barely rested. It was the first Saturday in a long, long time where he didn’t work, and he still found the way to sleep badly and ruin it all. Maybe the previous night was to blame, with Oikawa going home at 3 am crying about having to wake up early and Bokuto crashing the couch again, but it was noon now and he should’ve had enough sleep.

When he turned on his phone, he had a message from Oikawa saying that he had to go to the airport to get Iwaizumi and that he barely had anything done. Kuroo rolled his eyes, but he went to throw on some clothes without protesting any more. He knew Oikawa was asking for help without really asking, and he wasn’t going to let his poor hangover friend on the spot. Before he left, he ruffled Bokuto’s hair and woke him up suddenly, walking out of the apartment while Bokuto yelled something colorful at him.

When Kuroo walked into Oikawa’s apartment, Oikawa rushed towards him and forced him to take the vacuum cleaner that he had been using around the room just a second before.

“EVERYWHERE,” he said with a finger in the air before he grabbed his car keys and his coat and left without even shutting the door after himself.

Kuroo stared at the open door for a while, stunned by Oikawa’s sudden flee, but he picked up where Oikawa had stopped vacuuming soon enough. The floor barely had dust on it, and Kuroo knew there wouldn’t be a difference whether he vacuumed or not, but he shrugged and did it anyway. He would be way more useful if he worked on the food, but there probably was a reason why Oikawa hadn’t asked him.

It was all over and done with in 15 minutes, so Kuroo started the coffee machine and walked around the place, looking for dirty windows and mirrors. After he’d wiped away the fingerprints and imprints of condensation on the various glass surfaces of the apartment, he poured himself a cup of coffee and sat at the island counter to drink it slowly. He probably could've made himself more useful, but he also wasn’t a maid. He wasn’t THAT nice.

He texted Bokuto to come over for coffee, and about 30 seconds later, he was joined at the counter by a ghost version of his best friend.

“Good sleep?” Kuroo asked jokingly, already grinning bright and wide.

Bokuto turned to look at him like he wasn’t down to play. “You know your couch is the worst fucking piece of shit couch in the whole entire shit couch industry.”

“That’s a lot of nasty words so early in the day,” Kuroo replied, then sipping his coffee, acting like he hadn’t said anything.

“It’s noon, _and_ I have a headache, _AND_ a backache, asshole.”

Kuroo scoffed into his coffee, luckily avoiding choking on it. “You know it’s also a sofa-bed, right?”

“The bed part of your shitty couch has less bed qualities than your couch does,” Bokuto mumbled into his own mug of coffee. “When’s Iwa coming back so I can go home and shower?”

“Just to come right back over afterwards,” Kuroo added, but Bokuto didn’t even bat an eye at him. “They’re supposed to be on their way back now.”

They drank their coffee slowly, watching the door like dogs waiting for their owner to come back. Even though Oikawa was the one who had suffered the most these past 4 months, Kuroo and Bokuto had also missed Iwaizumi and it felt almost surreal that he was coming back today. Sure, it was only for a month and then he would leave for 4 more months, but he would still be there.

Kuroo had just finished his mug of coffee when he heard bags being dropped on the floor in the hallway, and then someone fiddling with the handle of the door. As soon as there was a crack in the door, the first thing they heard was Oikawa’s voice.

“-so at this point I’m about to call my dad because the bastard just won’t let me fix his stuff and _I know how to do it_ and-“

“Oh, hi guys,” Iwaizumi said, cutting Oikawa halfway through his run-on sentence.

Oikawa followed him inside with a pout, side-eyeing his boyfriend and pretending to be mad. Iwaizumi sighed, but he kissed the side of Oikawa’s head before he started taking his shoes off. Oikawa had a little dopey smile while he got the rest of Iwaizumi’s stuff inside and Kuroo stared at him with a disgusted expression.

“How was the plane?” Bokuto asked, choosing to be the grown up since Kuroo didn’t seem like he wanted to be very polite.

Iwaizumi exhaled strongly, shaking his shoes off his foot. “Horrible as usual. Do I smell coffee?”

Kuroo rushed out of his chair and walked to the coffee machine. “I was done vacuuming so I made it, want some?”

“Of course, you know me,” Iwaizumi replied with a playful half-smile, quickly disappearing into the hallway in the direction on his bedroom.

Oikawa followed with the luggage, stopping in front of the kitchen to look at his friends in disbelief. “You think I’m eating shit for all the things I’ve made him carry around for me or he just genuinely doesn’t realize that I’m handling all of his stuff since I picked him up at the airport?”

“A little bit of both?” Bokuto suggested with a shrug, but there was a twinkle of amusement in his eyes.

“Anyway,” Oikawa said loudly as he left the suitcases alone and attempted to get his hair to stop falling in front of his face, “I think we’ll be fine for tonight, but thanks for helping.”

“I only came for the coffee, I’m a freeloader,” Bokuto replied with a dumb smile.

Oikawa raised an eyebrow at him and sighed, defeated. “Then this wasn’t for you,” he specified, attempting to grab the suitcases so he could drag them to the bedroom again. He was halfway down the hallway when Kuroo finished making the coffee like Iwa liked it.

“I’ll leave Iwa’s coffee on the table,” Kuroo announced before he grabbed Bokuto by the arm and dragged him outside the apartment and back into his own.

Bokuto was staring at him like he’d just been teleported there, so Kuroo gave him a slap in the back and picked up the comforter and pillows he had lent him for the night.

“Why did we run out of there?”

“We’ll see them enough tonight, go take your shower.”

Bokuto frowned curiously, but he picked his wallet and phone from the coffee table and left with a quick but confused goodbye. A second after he’d closed the door, Kuroo’s phone buzzed with a new message.

 

 **[13:32]** _Oikawa Tooru sent:_

clean up nice for tonight!

try to tame that hair of yours

 **[13:33]** _Kuroo Tetsurou sent:_

Why do I have to look nice?

I’ll be late if I mess with my hair

 **[13:33]** _Oikawa Tooru sent:_

just make an effort ok

 **[13:34]** _Kuroo Tetsurou sent:_

Are you implying I don’t usually make an effort?

 **[13:35]** _Oikawa Tooru sent:_

no more questions!! shut it and do it

 

Kuroo decided it was probably better to do what Oikawa had told him and stop asking questions, so he didn’t reply and he went into the bathroom, undressing quickly and jumping into the shower. If he had to tackle the mess on his head, he couldn’t waste time.

 

* * *

 

Oikawa’s mother had brought the food for the dinner part of the dinner party, to everyone’s relief. Oikawa wasn’t kidding when he said that his cooking was shit, Kuroo had only had to try it once to swear that he never would again.

That was what Kuroo was focusing on, because he’d been standing alone in Oikawa’s kitchen for fifteen minutes, eating appetizers and watching the guests who were talking in the living room. Kuroo wasn’t an antisocial mess, far from that, but he’d recently became less and less comfortable when surrounded with nothing but couples. That’s kind of what was happening right now.

He didn’t know if he was just jealous of their happiness or annoyed that his friends’ attentions would never fully be on him again. Okay, that sounded very possessive. Was he possessive? Kuroo bit into a grape as he was having his existential crisis, trying to go back to the root of this problem. He knew what it was too well; it had all started 4 years ago with Kenma moving out because he suddenly had two boyfriends. And then, Kuroo had had to find a new place. And he’d met Oikawa, who was living with his best friend. Oikawa swore that they were just best friends. Him and his “best friend” were banging only a week later.

Kuroo was still reflecting on his life of self-inflicted betrayals when the door of Oikawa’s apartment opened slowly, stuck on the carpet full of shoes and boots in front of it. Kuroo looked in the living room shortly, trying to spot who was missing, but concluding that everyone seemed to be there already.

His blinked a couple of times and had a spontaneous smile when the person on the other side of the door was finally capable of pushing the door open despite everything that was in the way. Kuroo realised that he probably should’ve went to help them before he started playing detective.

His landlord was staring right at him with the amusing annoyance of a bossy child whose friends aren’t doing everything he wants. That was the funniest thing Kuroo had seen that day thus far, and he had seen Bokuto starting to laugh while he was taking a sip of wine and sending some flying everywhere.

“You were standing there the entire time and you didn’t help me?”

Kuroo shrugged, walking up to him and finally clearing some of the cluster away from the door. “Sorry, I was enjoying the show.”

Tsukishima sent him a stinking look as he walked inside, indicating Kuroo to close the door with a tilt of his head. Kuroo complied, but not without a snarky laugh at Tsukishima’s expense.

“I didn’t think you’d really come,” Kuroo commented as he joined the latest guest in the kitchen. “I mean, I did invite you and all, but I probably wouldn’t have come if I’d been in your situation.”

“Do you want me to go?” Tsukishima asked as he moved away from the island counter, raising an eyebrow at Kuroo.

Kuroo grinned, quickly throwing another grape into his mouth before he answered. “That’s not what I said,” he spoke while he bit in the firm, cold grape.

“Sounded a hell of a lot like it,” Tsukishima replied, looking at the people in the living room instead of Kuroo’s dumb face. The hallway leading to the kitchen had an entrance to the living room, but it wasn’t big enough for anyone in there to notice them.

Kuroo realised he was about to spend the night with Tsukishima next to him, because the poor guy didn’t know anyone else there besides him and Oikawa. He knew it was polite to invite people to events even if you didn’t want them to come, but it was Oikawa who had asked Kuroo to ask Kei to be there, dooming Kuroo to take care of it if Tsukishima really did show up. That ruined the façade of politeness from the get go.

“Wine?” Kuroo asked, resigning himself to entertain his landlord for a couple hours. “We got white, red, rosé, I can even get you champagne but you’ll have to shut up about it.”

There was a twitch in Kei’s lips that came halfway between a smile and an uncomfortable pinch. “Whatever’s easier for you,” he ended up replying, still trying to look further into the living room. Kuroo guessed he was trying to spot Iwaizumi, since he’d never seen him before. That was the case with pretty much everyone else in the apartment, but Iwa was his tenant as well after all.

Kuroo grabbed the bottle of white wine next to him on the counter and moved to the cabinets to get one of Oikawa’s nice glasses. “White it is,” he declared, pouring the wine in the glass as someone stepped out of the living room and into the kitchen.

“Ah!” Oikawa exclaimed as he clapped chirpily, stopping right in the middle of the archway, “I didn’t know you would be there!”

Tsukishima turned around to send a confused look to Kuroo. “I thought you’d asked him to ask me?”

“Yes, but I didn’t actually think you’d show up,” Oikawa continued casually, joining Kuroo in the kitchen and looking at the fancy glass in his hands like an annoyed mother looks at her children when they play with the silverware.

Kuroo brushed the glare off by drawing his full attention to Tsukishima. “See? Not just me.”

“I can always go-“

“Us being surprised doesn’t mean you’re unwelcome, dear,” Oikawa replied strictly, grabbing a couple of napkins and empty plastic cups to bring back in the living room.

“You can both join us when you feel like it,” he added lastly, looking only at Kuroo while he winked. He disappeared into the living room as rapidly as he’d appeared, leaving Kuroo a little confused, but mostly amused.

Tsukishima had the wine glass in his hands a couple of seconds later, looking up at Kuroo and silently thanking him with a short nod.

“I wouldn’t mind not going in there so soon, if you don’t mind,” Kuroo said once he was standing next to Tsukishima again, resting the small of his back against the top of the counter.

“Nobody said you had to follow me everywhere I go,” Tsukishima replied, with the coldness of his voice sounding oddly inviting with all the loud, warm voiced in the apartment.

Kuroo scoffed, grabbing another grape and sending it flying into his mouth. “I thought I’d be the one you’d follow around,” he said smugly, watching as Tsukishima looked at the ceiling in exasperation.

“Why did you even invite me here?”

Kuroo thought about it while he ate his grape, mulling the question over way too long for such a simple question. “Because I didn’t know what to say anymore. And also because I was curious.”

“Curious?” Kei echoed, sounding like he’d never heard such an absurd word in his life.

Tetsurou munched on his grape in silence, thinking about an explanation that wouldn’t make him sound like a gross prying prick.

“I guess,” he tried clumsily, still eating the same damn grape, “there’s just no easy way to ask… you know.”

Tsukishima also kept quiet for quite some time, taking one long sip of wine as he stared at the front door. “I know,” he replied, nodding once for emphasis.

After he cleared his throat, Tsukishima turned his gaze towards Kuroo after avoiding it for a while.

“I kinda had to make sure before I invited you here though,” Kuroo began explaining. “Half of the people in the next room used to sit at what was labelled the ‘gay table’ at my high school. Needless to say, we watch our backs and we don’t let just about anyone into our lives.”

“I get that,” Tsukishima said, tapping his fingers lightly on the stem of the glass. “Glad I could meet the criteria.”

Kuroo gave him a strangely complicit look, smirking at the statement. “You probably freaked out when you weren’t sure if I’d seen… anything.”

Kei kept the glass pressed against his lower lip, watching Kuroo with what seemed to be a perfectly neutral expression. “Let’s say I wasn’t as serene as I usually am.”

Kuroo scoffed, sharing one more overtly friendly look with his _freaking landlord_. “So, was it what I thought, or…?”

Tsukishima couldn’t hold the eye contact anymore, dropping his head forward and scowling at the floor like he had seen it coming, but had hoped that it wouldn’t really happen. “Why do you wanna know that?”

“Cuz it’s our secret,” Kuroo said, trying to incite Kei to spill the truth by creating this fake collusion with him. “C’mon, what’s his name?”

“I don’t-“ Tsukishima started before he shook his head and shrugged, “I don’t even know.”

“Ooohhh,” Kuroo replied with a vicious grin growing on his face, infinitely pleased by what he was discovering, “so _that’s_ how it is.”

“Please, just-“

“Didn’t think you’d be a casual kind of guy,” Kuroo continued, bumping his shoulder into Kei’s playfully.

“I’m not,” Tsukishima claimed, bumping back into Kuroo lightly. “Not really…”

Kuroo kept smiling so wide that Tsukishima worried that his cheeks would split in half. “You’re actually full of surprises, aren’t you? The first time I saw you, I thought you were a boring accountant with an unsatisfied girlfriend.”

Kei looked up furiously fast, staring at Kuroo like he’d just been slapped in the face. “What did you just say?”

“Or like, maybe a workaholic lawyer with a cat,” Kuroo said while Kei kept staring at him with this cheated look on his face.

Now, Tsukishima looked like he was playing a game, and he was playing to win. Kuroo had riled him up just enough to get a proper retort out of him.

“Well, I do have occasional casual sex and I would never own a cat,” he replied, straightforward and just angry enough for Kuroo to find it funny instead of scary.

“What you got against cats?”

“I literally work with lions, owning a cat would just be ridiculous,” Tsukishima explained, as if he’d thought about this long and hard and had just been waiting for someone to ask.

Kuroo had a snide side-smile, shaking his head a couple of times in amazement. “You wouldn’t like my friend Kenma.”

Tsukishima’s smug expression fell into a kind of depressed confusion that Kuroo hadn’t been prepared for. “Your friend _who_ now?”

Kuroo watched his landlord with wide eyes, trying to understand what was wrong. “ _Kenma?_ ”

“Tell me your friend Kenma doesn’t have more than one boyfriend.”

He sounded so serious. So disappointed. So destroyed. Kuroo couldn’t believe he was about to deliver the final blow.

“He actually has two-“

“God dammit,” Kei said, not looking like someone should while they’re saying that. He was resigned, tired. “They’re not here, are they?”

“Huh, no, Kenma had work tonight and Oikawa won’t have Kageyama here unless we’re bringing in his severed head, so… yeah.”

Tsukishima nodded a bit too sharply, obviously trying to regain himself and act like nothing had happened.

“Why?”

No response.

“ _Whyyyy_?” Kuroo pressed on, bumping his shoulder into Tsukishima’s again, almost getting a smile out of him this time.

He’d been about to answer when everyone in the living room stood up at the same time to move over to the kitchen so they could all start eating. Kuroo moved away, sending Tsukishima a look that meant he’d ask later, before he walked to the fridge and opened both of its doors.

“I want a neat beeline, no pushing!” He yelled at the guests, pulling out the plates and putting them on the counter while Oikawa took the appetizer plates to the other side of the kitchen so he could clean them later.

Kuroo was still floored by all that he had learned in so little time, so it’s with a pleased smile that he watched everyone grab some food while Bokuto introduced himself to Tsukishima.

“Sorry about last time, all they’d told me was something about turtles and then I had to run,” Bokuto said like it was the most normal string of words he’d even spoken while Akaashi gave him an unsure side-look.

“No problem,” Tsukishima replied politely, quickly looking over his shoulder to catch Kuroo’s attention, “I’m pretty sure I know whose stupid idea it was anyway.”

“Actually, it was Oikawa’s idea,” Bokuto clarified, and Kuroo barked a nasty laugh.

 

* * *

 

Tsukishima had just left when Kuroo remembered it, the one thing he’d had to ask. He had found out that Kei was familiar with Kenma’s idiot boyfriends, he had found out about his sex life, but he’d forgotten about the groceries.

He ran out of Oikawa’s apartment without warning, only getting a couple of puzzled noises out of his friends. He’d be back in a minute, it wasn’t important, he just had to make sure to give Tsukishima some time to think about what he was going to ask so he needed to get it done as soon as possible.

Tsukishima was only halfway down the stairs when Kuroo turned the corner and grabbed the wall to slow his momentum.

“Tsukishima!” He yelled to grab his attention.

Kei stopped going down the stairs abruptly, looking up at where Kuroo stood. “Yes?”

“This is going to sound weird as fuck but do you have a grocery buddy?”

“A _what_?” Kei asked, understandably.

“Oikawa says I need someone to watch over me when I go to the grocery store because I only buy shit if no one forces me to get veggies too.”

He should’ve thought about what he was going to say before he tried to say it. Why did he always have to be so impulsive? It’s not like Tsukishima wouldn’t have been there to hear him out the next day, or the day after that.

The landlord stood there and looked at Kuroo, clearly taking in what he’d just heard. “So you want me to go with you?”

Kuroo only shook his head yes this time. He wouldn’t mess this up with more clumsy words.

Tsukishima frowned, letting go of the ramp and bringing a hand to his hip. “Does it have to be all the time?”

Kuroo shrugged, still unsure of what having a grocery buddy had to imply. Oikawa usually just walked besides Kuroo and slapped his hands when he tried to grab the instant noodles packages.

“Not if you don’t want to,” Kuroo chose to reply.

Kei nodded once, sighing right after. “I’ll think about it, don’t get your hopes up.”

When Tsukishima started going down the stairs again, Kuroo shouted a last “goodnight” and when back to Oikawa’s apartment as a “you too” echoed between the walls of the hallway.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> :) sup
> 
> how was it??? tell me everything
> 
> ily have a great day/night everybody <3
> 
>  
> 
> [find me on the interwebs](http://sandgoddess.tumblr.com/)


	6. Mail

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yo sup guys here we go i don't have nothing to say lmao

Kenma had showed up at his place around 7, and all they'd done for two hours was pass a DS back and forth to pass the levels that the other could not. Kenma's head was resting softly on Kuroo's shoulder, laying down next to him in his cold bed. The heating had been lowered so much that they felt a breeze on their skins, as if there was a window open somewhere and it was below zero outside. Kuroo had to talk to Tsukishima about the insulation of the walls.

Kenma didn't seem to mind, though. He had a blanket on his legs and a long-sleeved sweater and he was also basking in Kuroo's legendary excessive warmth.

Kuroo was curling his fingers in Kenma's long hair when he heard his front door open, and Oikawa announced himself in a long whine.

"We're here," Kuroo yelled, scaring Kenma briefly with the volume of his voice. They'd been quiet for hours, so that was quite the change of pace.

"We?" Oikawa asked a second before he showed up in the room, his eyes widening in understanding when he noticed Kenma. "Oh, hi Kenny!"

"Hey," Kenma replied, quickly looking at Kuroo's other side to see if there was enough room for Oikawa to join.

Oikawa found room anyway, cuddling up to Kuroo's side and looking at the game in his hands. Iwaizumi had already been back for a week and it was the first time Kuroo was graced with Oikawa's presence in his apartment since his return.

The three of them lied there in a comfortable silence, sometimes pointing out tactics that Kuroo could use in the game to survive a jump that he kept falling to his death in.

Oikawa was the first to properly break the silence, about 20 minutes after he'd initially showed up. "So," he started, grabbing Kuroo's attention, but not Kenma's because he was the one with the game in his hands now, "did you ask Tsukishima about what I've told you?"

That did kind of grab Kenma's attention, who looked up for a fraction of a second and squinted a Oikawa before he went back to the game.

Kuroo cleared his throat and pinched his lips. "Yeah, yeah, but we didn't talk about it since and he asked me to let him think about it."

"And when did you plan to do that?" Oikawa inquired further.

"When I'll go give this weeks' rent money."

Oikawa scrunched his eyebrows and counted the days of the week in his head, coming to the conclusion that it was Sunday just like he'd thought. "And why didn't you do that already?"

Kuroo clenched his teeth and hissed. "I don't have the money," he simply explained.

Oikawa gave a sympathetic smile while Kenma shrugged lightly. "Just give him what you have," Kenma suggested, and Kuroo knew that's what he should do, but Tsukishima had become used to a certain amount and what he had to give him was pretty far from that amount. Anything was better than nothing, sure, but he was going to have everything ready Wednesday and it felt like a waste of time to give him such a small amount only to come back 3 days later with the rest.

Still, he would go, because he didn't want to lose Tsukishima's trust and his friends were looking at him like his mother did when he forgot to do his homework back in high school.

"So I'll have to see him tonight?" Kuroo asked like they'd just told him he should put an end to his life.

Oikawa laughed and Kenma shook his head, exasperated with Kuroo's exaggerations.

"Stop acting like it's such a chore when you spent 4 hours talking to him and him alone the other day," Oikawa reminded him with a sly smile, which got him an elbow in the ribs.

"It's not like I had any choice, huh?"

Kenma reacted to that, lifting his head up once more and sending a warning look in Oikawa's direction. The latter only grinned and looked away from Kenma.

"You don't have to talk to him, just give him the cash and say goodnight or something", Kenma said with a shrug, noticing Oikawa's glare on him that just looked like he was thinking y _ou're no fun_.

Kuroo scoffed, taking the DS from Kenma's hands and starting the level over. "You have too much faith in me," he replied, implying that he had trouble keeping it short and sweet when he talked with the landlord.

Kenma's dark glare stayed glued on the game, even though he really wanted to burn Oikawa with it. Maybe Kuroo had too much of a tunnel vision on the situation and he couldn't see what Oikawa was doing, but Kenma was seeing it. Oikawa kept trying to set Kuroo up with people, and it usually ended horribly bad. Oikawa sowed and Kenma reaped, always. He had spent a good number of hours on the phone with a broken-hearted Kuroo, trying to convince him that it wasn't meant to be and that there was better for him out there, picking up the pieces of the vase that Oikawa had put on the edge of a table and had nudged Kuroo to push on the floor until he finally did.

Kenma had no problem with Oikawa when he stayed in his lane, but he had a feeling that he was currently drifting further away from it. He tried not to think about everything that Kageyama had said about Oikawa, because that was Tobio’s beef, not Kenma's. It was hard not to think about it in moments like these, though.

"It's just a landlord, you know? I don't think I've spoken to mine since we moved in," Kenma attempted, trying in some way or another to make Kuroo realise that he didn't have to be too chummy with the guy if he didn't actually want to.

Kuroo laughed softly, missing a jump in the game and crashing into a wall. "Yeah but you don't have to see her 3 times a month because you can't pay rent."

Kenma gritted his teeth and pulled the blanket up to cover himself more. "I guess not."

Oikawa was grinning against Kuroo's arm, clutching to it way too hard for a guy that had been reunited with his boyfriend for a week. Kenma wasn't too dumb to recognize that Oikawa absolutely adored Kuroo and only wanted the best for him, but he also knew that Oikawa's idea of the "best" wasn't quite the same as Kenma's. He wondered how it would've been if Oikawa had ever picked up his own mess.

 

* * *

 

Kuroo knocked on Tsukishima's door, holding ¥15,000 in his hands. He hadn't even bothered with an envelope because what was the point? There was no point.

Tsukishima answered the door with a scowl like he always did, his gaze dropping directly to Kuroo's hands. It's almost like he was nervous that this would be about something other than the money. Kuroo raised an eyebrow.

"That's not as much as usual, but I'll have the rest Wednesday," Kuroo explained as he handed the money to the landlord.

Kei nodded as he took it, quickly counting just to see how much it was. He didn't seem to mind about the amount. "Alright, thank you."

He didn't shut the door right away like he sometimes did, but Kuroo was ready to stick his foot between the door and the wall if he had to. It was almost becoming a ritual.

"Did you think about what I asked you?"

Tsukishima stared blankly into Kuroo's eyes, blinking slowly after a couple of seconds. "I did."

"And?" Kuroo incited.

"Doesn't hurt to try once," Kei replied with a shrug that was probably intended to be way more casual than it really ended up being.

Kuroo cocked his head on the side and stared at Tsukishima with a soft smile. "Are you sure?"

Tsukishima didn't break the eye contact, and that said a lot more than Kuroo thought it did. "I think I can handle going to the grocery store with someone else."

Kuroo did not question his sudden certainty, exhaling an amused laugh and smiling at Kei even wider. "Where do you usually go? I like the store at the corner of the street."

The landlord shrugged again. "I don't have a usual place, I just go wherever's closer."

"Corner of the street it is then," Kuroo announced, nodding to seal the deal. "Wednesday?"

"Yeah, okay."

Kuroo smiled once more, quite warmly considering who he was smiling to, but he didn't care. He waved at Tsukishima to say goodbye and left for the stairs, climbing back up to his apartment. Tsukishima stood in the threshold until he didn't hear any footsteps in the hallway upstairs, only walking back inside when the noise died down. He put his back against the closed door and shut his eyes, exhaling shakily after he had breathed in for so long that his lungs hurt.

"Tsukki?" Yamaguchi called from the kitchen, and Tsukishima's eyes blinked open in half a second.

"It's okay, just the guy from 21," he replied, standing away from the door and walking back into the kitchen where his friend waited for him.

 

* * *

 

They took Kuroo's usual route through the park, talking quite a lot more than he'd expected. Tsukishima wasn't the kind of guy to ask many questions, but he didn't seem to mind answering them.

"I mean," Tetsurou said after Kei had told him that they hadn't found a name for Millie's unborn cub yet, "you could go the easy route and name him Simba?"

"That's boring," Tsukishima replied, with just enough of a drawl in his voice to sound childish. "We tried having a contest with the visitors and let them name him and guess what name won?"

"Simba."

"Yeah, and we're not naming him Simba," Kei replied categorically, making Kuroo chuckle.

"Then, huh... I don't know, Archie?"

Tsukishima squinted at him, clearly wondering why that had even popped up in his mind. "Archie?"

"Let it grow on you before rejecting it like that," Kuroo replied, pretending to be hurt.

Tsukishima side-eyed him, but it quickly turned into an amused eye-roll. "I didn't reject it."

"Sounded a hell of a lot like it," Kuroo mocked him, smiling nicely when Kei gave him a grim look. “Maybe Charlie? Or Aslan.”

“ _Aslan_ ,” Tsukishima said, sounding like he was so done that Kuroo had to stop walking and grab his stomach from how hard he was laughing. “You’re proud of yourself now, aren’t you?”

Kuroo kept laughing, rising a thumb in the air and wheezing out a choked up “yes”.

It took a while, but Kuroo ended up calming down and they made their way to the grocery store at last. Kuroo spent the rest of the way there trying to remember the name of the lion in Madagascar, and Tsukishima was too entertained to be annoyed.

With someone by his side, Kuroo didn’t even try to reach for the instant noodles and the microwave meals. Tsukishima followed him through every single isle, pointing him to the bulk produce and the insanely huge packages of food that made you save so much on the long run. Kuroo got them only because Kei kept looking at them with this daring gleam in his eyes, and Kuroo didn’t step away from a challenge.

“How big’s your freezer?” Tsukishima asked while he was putting ripe peaches in a bag and Kuroo eyed the avocadoes.

“I only have a small one in my fridge,” Kuroo replied, giving in and touching to see if the avocadoes were still too hard of just soft enough. They were just right.

Tsukishima walked over to the avocadoes as well, picking two and adding them to his bag while Kuroo eyed the fruits intensely, and Tsukishima felt compelled to make the poor boy some guacamole later. “You should fill it with meat and bread so you always have some left.”

Kuroo nodded, thinking that he’d have to throw away all the ice cream leftovers that he never finished before he did that.

“You still got some budget for vegetables?”

“Yeah, barely,” Kuroo replied, following Tsukishima to the fresh vegetables section. They were all up in trays on the wall, with sprinklers at the top that let a soft dew fall on the produce.

Tsukishima started picking weird things that Kuroo had never bought before, like eggplants and radishes, but he didn’t judge. Kei had the money for funky veggies, Kuroo couldn’t hate just because he had to stick with onions and celeries, sometimes potatoes if he was feeling freaky.

Kuroo was used to Oikawa getting butternut squash and asparagus just because he could, and he longed for a day when he would also be able to splurge on vegetables. That’s when he would know he had made it.

Tsukishima checked the contents of Kuroo’s cart before he picked a huge green cabbage, an equally enormous turnip and a bag of carrots. “I’m getting those for you, you better make three weeks worth of soup with them and live on that for a while.”

Tetsurou glared at him confusedly, stubbornly holding onto a bag of brussels sprouts for no reason. “Why? I mean, why are you getting them for me?”

“Did you get the broths I showed you?”

Kuroo grinned at how he hadn’t even tried to curve the question and had instead pretended like it hadn’t even been asked to begin with. “Yeah,” he answered, the smile still plastered on his face.

“Then you’ll be fine for a while, but you might get tired of soup,” Tsukishima said as he pushed his cart away from the vegetables, letting Kuroo follow him if he wished.

“It’s okay,” Kuroo replied, taking his cart and following along, “I go eat at Oikawa’s place twice a week, it’ll mix things up.”

Tsukishima nodded, apparently relieved to hear that. Kuroo frowned curiously, pulling up next to his landlord so he could stare at him properly.

“Why does that seem to be so reassuring to you?”

Tsukishima shut his eyes and sighed, pulling up next to the fresh fish and stalling there. “You’re struggling, and I feel bad about that. I’m glad you get to eat actual meals sometimes, that’s all.”

Kuroo looked stunned, exhaling slowly as he let his shoulders drop. “Don’t feel bad, nothing’s your fault.”

Tsukishima nodded once, shared a gaze with Kuroo for a quarter of a second and started pushing his cart around again without speaking a word. Kuroo scoffed, following shortly after.

Soon enough, they were paying and walking back home, Kuroo hauling four bags filled to the brim while Tsukishima only had two small ones. With a snide smile, Tsukishima looked over his shoulder at Kuroo who was a couple of steps behind now.

“You’ll thank me later,” he said smugly.

Kuroo gave him a fake smile, wincing when the handles of the plastic bags started digging into the skin of his hands. He really hoped he would be.

 

* * *

 

 **[18:12]** _Oikawa Tooru sent:_

i know its not thursday yet but i made too much fucking food

get your ass here

 **[18:13]** _Kuroo Tetsurou sent:_

You made food?

 **[18:13]** _Oikawa Tooru sent:_

(ू˃̣̣̣̣̣̣︿˂̣̣̣̣̣̣ ू)

ukno i didnt set foot in that kitchen

i bought too much food and iwa made all of it

 **[18:14]** _Kuroo Tetsurou sent:_

I actually got started on something

I’ll just put it away for tomorrow

 **[18:15]** _Oikawa Tooru sent:_

good boy

 

Kuroo scoffed at the last message, putting his phone back into his jeans pocket with a sigh. He took some clean plastic containers out of his cupboards and put his food in them, that simple action making him feel like he’d suddenly aged 5 years. That was such a mom thing to do, thinking ahead and packing lunches… or maybe it was a normal thing to do and he just didn’t have his shit together, which was very likely.

He’d made enough for the week, following Tsukishima’s tip to start with a vegetable soup and eat that when there was nothing else, when he got too lazy or when there was no money to buy anything else. Once the soup was put away in the fridge, Kuroo walked out of his apartment and right into Oikawa’s without knocking.

“Here!” Oikawa yelled from the living room, so Kuroo followed his voice and went to sit in the recliner next to the sofa. The food was on the coffee table, salad bowls surrounding a huge plate with rice and meat.

There was already a plate fixed for him on the edge of the table and there was still a stupid amount of food left. Kuroo had a strange urge to take as much as he could and run back home so he could fill more plastic containers to put in his fridge.

“Why did you make enough food to feed the entire floor?” Tetsurou asked after a soft laugh, appalled by all the food that was in front of him.

Iwaizumi looked down and mumbled something into his wine glass, and Oikawa elbowed him in the ribs.

“No reason,” Oikawa replied with a chipper shrug. “How was the grocery shopping?”

The half-smile that appeared on Kuroo’s lips at the question was as spontaneous as it was brief. “It was okay, he made me buy so much stuff that I probably won’t have to go back for a while.”

Oikawa raised an eyebrow and gave his friend a knowing smile. “Oh really? What did he made you buy?”

“You know those enormous bags of rice that would probably last me two years? One of those.”

Iwaizumi scoffed softly and Oikawa nodded to indicate Kuroo that he could continue.

“Like 4 liters of every type of broth the store had, the biggest bag of flour I’ve ever seen, a family sized loaf of bread that’s taking half of my freezer’s room…”

“Did you have enough for vegetables?” Oikawa pondered, forever worried about the same thing.

Kuroo had a sneaky smile again as he remembered it, repressing it quickly enough to be inconspicuous. “Barely, but he got me stuff to make soup so I’m-“

“ _He_ got it _for_ you?” Oikawa interrupted, sitting closer to the edge of the couch and staring at Kuroo with a giddy excitement.

Kuroo could only stand his gaze for a couple of seconds, turning his concerned glare away from Oikawa’s face to the television. “I could only get a couple of things and he felt bad, it’s not a big deal,” he replied with a shrug, still refusing to look anywhere but at the TV.

Iwaizumi watched his boyfriend’s smile go from cute and gleeful to something dark and ominous. “What did he feel bad about?” Oikawa asked then, not letting go anytime soon.

Kuroo finally sat straight again and stared back at Oikawa. “I don’t know, _I_ didn’t harass him to make him talk.”

“I’m not harassing you! I’m curious!”

“Unhealthily so,” Iwaizumi mumbled just loudly enough to be heard.

Oikawa sent him a death glare and swiftly went back to harassing Kuroo. “I just wanted to make sure it wasn’t too weird, but I guess that shows he’s got a heart somewhere.”

Kuroo scrunched his nose up, giving Oikawa a strange look. “Of course he has one, with the tenders stares at turtles and all.”

Oikawa exhaled so strongly that it almost sounded like he was going to laugh, but he just kept smirking like he knew something that the two others didn’t. “Dunno, but maybe you’ve noticed that because you’re always staring at _him_.”

“Sure,” Kuroo replied after a short chuckle, rapidly shaking his head at that absurd statement.

 

* * *

 

 _Oh shit_ were not usually the first words that Tsukishima liked to have in mind in the early morning. He was usually so meticulous, even when slightly inebriated. He had rules, strict rules, because he would not be doing this if he didn’t. No kissing, no hand holding, no cuddling and never the same guy twice. Yet, in his bed was the same guy he’d had over around 5 months ago. Yamaguchi and Yachi had gotten him too hammered, that was why. They kept bringing him drinks under the guise of “It’s been two months since you went out with us, don’t get weak on us now”. Tsukishima wasn’t one to be called weak by anyone, especially not his closest friends.

This was bad, though. Kei remembered this guy well enough now, he knew he’d taken his sweet time to leave the first time, so this would probably be worse. He was really not feeling like dealing with this right now, with the headache blooming behind his skull already thinning out his patience.

He got out of bed slowly, leaving the covers in a rumpled heap and grabbing his phone from the night stand as silently as he could. Once he was out of the bedroom, he turned the phone on and texted Yamaguchi to ask him why the fuck he’d let him leave with someone. It was almost 8 in the morning so he was probably up already, grinning in his cereals and waiting for this message so he could mock his best friend for what he’d done the night before.

As he was sending more angry messages, there was a knock at his door, thankfully faint enough not to wake up the undesirable guest. Tsukishima rushed into his bedroom as quietly as he could to get a robe, and then he went to open the door as fast as he could so there wouldn’t be a second knock.

On the other side of the door was a completely oblivious Kuroo handing him some mail with angry energy. “Can’t believe they keep mixing it up, I’ve got like three different apartments’ mail in my mailbox,” Kuroo ended with a sigh, brushing his hair off of his forehead with his free hand. “Anyway, here’s yours.”

Kei looked down at the envelope between Kuroo’s hands, and he felt himself freeze as a metaphorical light bulb switched on over his head. He was the only other person who knew. He was the only person who could help with this without Kei making an utter fool of himself. This wasn’t any less embarrassing, but Kuroo wasn’t necessarily someone who needed to be kept away from the person Tsukishima really was. He already knew a lot, this was just one more little thing.

Still, Kei took the letters and it took him a great deal of courage to open his mouth and speak. This was so ridiculous, but he’d much rather face this embarrassment than face the guy currently sleeping in his bed.

It took him so much to even put the words together in his mind, but he finally blurted them out to get it over with. “Can I ask you the strangest, most degrading favor?”

That piqued the other man’s interest instantly, so he walked a step closer to the door and looked up at Tsukishima as if he’d just been given a challenge. “Degrading sounds good to me, what do you want?”

“ _God_ ,” Tsukishima exclaimed before he explained himself, feeling like the most worthless and foolish person in the world. “I… please just get inside.”

In front of Tsukishima’s visible agitation, Kuroo walked in the apartment with a raised eyebrow that came off as judgemental to the landlord, even though he hadn’t said anything yet. He considered letting it go and asking him to leave, but he wouldn’t have any way to explain this later and he knew Kuroo would not let go.

“I got myself in a mess, I need you to kick the guy in my bedroom out,” Kei said in his quietest voice while his gaze kept skipping everywhere that was not Kuroo’s direct line of sight.

Kuroo snorted, but he quickly slapped both of his hands over his mouth. “ _What_ ,” he mumbled underneath them, his muffled voice sounding both shocked and delighted.

“Can you do it?” Kei asked with urgency, now staring straight into Kuroo’s wide, _overjoyed_ eyes.

Tetsurou slowly took his hands away from his mouth, but his expression didn’t change. “You want me to do what and why now?”

Kei gave him a long, cold look, but Kuroo did not deter for a second. His dumbfounded smile was still plastered to his unmoving face like a plastic mask.

Tsukishima was the one who gave up, and he had to start getting used to that because Kuroo apparently never did. “Look, it’s not the first time I see him and I don’t want him to get… ideas.”

“Are you sure you weren’t looking for someone to share the rent with?” Kuroo jibed, watching in delight as Tsukishima’s stare became colder, if that was even possible. That was the greatest day of Kuroo’s life, nothing would ever beat this.

“Okay, I deserved that,” Kei said as he obviously did not mean a single word, “but now’s not the time to have a feud.”

Kuroo scoffed rudely, smothering the noise with his fingers again. “Do you actually try to sound this pretentious?”

Tsukishima knew that this would know no end if he didn’t offer him something in return, and he knew exactly what would convince Kuroo to do about anything. “I’ll lower your rent,” he declared smugly, strangely appreciating the curious curve that had appeared in Kuroo’s eyebrows when he heard the offer. What an interesting response.

“ _Wha-…_ by how much?”

Kei raised his chin in the air and got ready to bargain. “A thousand.”

“Thousand five-hundred?” Kuroo tried, wincing a little as he spoke. This was such a golden opportunity, he couldn’t ask for too much and miss out on the offer completely. “For two thousand I’ll pretend like I’m your boyfriend coming back from a trip and I’m fucking _pissed_.”

“Okay, two thousand and let’s go for that,” Tsukishima agreed, having already fixed the limit at ¥78,000. It wasn’t low enough that he would lose money, and it allowed Kuroo to breathe a little better. Everyone was winning.

Kuroo didn’t even take the time to seal the deal before he rushed into Kei’s bedroom like a rabid animal and banged on the door to shake the guy out of his slumber.

“ _Who_ the _fuck_ are you?” He yelled with venom on his tongue, and Tsukishima bolted for the kitchen where he hid behind the pantry. He would’ve liked a warning, but other than that, he was pleased with Kuroo’s enthusiasm.

After the guy asked what was going on and where Kei was, Kuroo banged on the open door once more, so hard that even Kei flinched.

“He’s where he should be, you on the other hand need to get the fuck out of here before I kick you out myself,” Kuroo replied with this dark growl in his voice that made him sound like he wasn’t kidding for even a second.

The guy was obviously rushing to collect his stuff and get dressed, because all Tsukishima could hear now was the rustle of fabric. “I can’t believe this shit,” he heard Kuroo mutter, “I leave for a couple days and this is what I come back to.”

“Sorry man,” the guy said, and even though he sounded genuinely apologetic, Kei could tell that there was something else in there. It felt like he took no blame at all for the situation, but that he recognized it was shitty.

“Shut up and get the hell out of here,” Kuroo strongly suggested, and even though he wasn’t yelling anymore, his oddly calm tone of voice was even more unsettling.

The other guy did not speak another word, he finished getting his stuff and he was out of the apartment in less than 30 seconds after that. Once the coast was clear and the door slammed shut, Tsukishima got out of his hiding place and waited for Kuroo to come back out of the bedroom.

When Kuroo walked out of the room, he was beaming like a kid. “So? How was that?”

Kei fought to hold in a smile, but his lips still curved just enough for it to be noticeable. “Well, my reputation is definitely ruined and I’m probably getting ten noise complaints, but that was perfect.”

Kuroo gave him another smile, almost coaxing Tsukishima into imitating him. His smiles were dangerously contagious, they were so warm and bright and Kei was not used to them yet. “I’ll give it to you, that was one fun way to start my morning but I need to go to work now,” Tetsurou said like they’d just been playing pretend.

“That’s fine, thank you for that.”

Kuroo’s smile became softer, as if it needed to. “No problem.”

Tsukishima stood in the middle of the hallway as he watched Kuroo leave, and he only moved when he felt his phone buzz in his hand. Yamaguchi had just sent him an emoji with the tongue pulled out, whatever that meant.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sooooooooooooooooo yeah lmao
> 
> why am I putting them in these situations
> 
> how was it? how we doing? everyone good?
> 
> thank you for reading i love you forever
> 
>  
> 
> [follow my bad blog](http://sandgoddess.tumblr.com)


	7. Dazed

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Guys I am soooo sorry. I finally got the money to buy a new computer and I literally just got around to putting all the parts of this chapter together. This took me an awful long time, but I swear this won't happen again. I don't like to publish chapters so far apart that you need to read the chapter that came before to remember where you were.
> 
> Anyway, sorry again and I hope the length of this chapter makes up for the wait!

He kept doing it over, hitting C and starting from the beginning again. He was getting paid twice this month, and he was still getting punished with 26 hours a week. The worst thing wasn't even that the money was coming up shorter than short, it was that every time he came in to work, Kiyoko looked beyond exhausted. She had picked up the slack since she'd had to split Kuroo's leftover hours with the part time boy who was still in high school and couldn't help very much. Kiyoko had tried to get Kuroo his hours back, but the company wouldn't budge: after the week of training, he had to prove he could work properly for the whole month of May before it'd get back to normal. No matter how many times she told her bosses that he'd always been working more than properly, they didn't let up.

He entered the numbers again, watching the calculator with a grim expression. He also couldn't stop thinking about what Kiyoko had said about going back to school since her father was doing better now, and she couldn't take her entrance exams because she was working all the time. Because of him, because of how the universe had decided to curse him. Because of miss Kobayachi, whom he was still thinking about murdering.

Bi-weekly income, minus credit card bill, minus cell phone bill, minus food, minus rent, minus internet, electricity, water...

Forget the gym memberships, forget the Friday night treats, forget everything. He didn't have anything left at the end of the month, no matter how many times he started the calculations over. He went on the internet and picked a cheaper cell phone plan, he wrote a letter to the bank to tell them that some payments would be late, he made a mental checklist of everything he owned and how much he'd get out of selling it online, he looked at job offers that would allow him to survive the month, he did it all.

When he knocked on Tsukishima's door that night, it was with a rigid, almost passive expression, but his teeth were clenched so hard that his jaw hurt. At the bottom of his stomach, he felt a strange tingling that crawled up his throat, and he had the sudden urge to laugh at his own misfortune. Kuroo was ready to admit that this situation was laughable, but he wasn't sure it was funny.

When Tsukishima opened the door, the tingling jumped back up Kuroo's throat and he laughed, a sad laugh that had Kei frowning in something that Kuroo interpreted as worry.

"This is dumb," Kuroo said before he even made what he was talking about clear, "but that's probably all I'll be able to give you for a while."

The money left Kuroo's hands as it apparently enjoyed doing very much, and Kei looked down at it with the same expression he'd had seconds before. Twelve thousand yen, it was basically a joke.

Kei's eyes left the money in his hands and he began to stare at Kuroo's face in a way he'd never had before. If there was one face that Kuroo had never expected to see on Tsukishima, it was that weird cross between pity and worry that made him feel like a total failure. Kuroo had just turned around and was about to leave when Tsukishima sighed and grabbed his shoulder.

"No, listen, I don't need this," Kuroo protested as he tried to shake the hand off him.

"Bullshit," Tsukishima spat back, and Kuroo stood still, staring wide-eyed at him. "I understand you're ashamed, but running away because I'm worried about you isn't gonna help you."

"I don't want you to be worried about me," Kuroo replied, suddenly way more sheepish than he had been earlier. "You shouldn't even care. It's not your problem."

"I don't know how evil you think I am," Tsukishima started after the quickest eye roll that Kuroo had ever seen, "but I'm not gonna watch you go until I have to kick you out."

Kuroo didn't move, but he had no idea what to say. This was becoming more embarrassing by the second, and he was just about to run away when Kei spoke again.

"Did you eat tonight?" He asked, surprising Kuroo again with his tone of voice. It was even, conversational, but Kuroo could hear the anger that tried to hide somewhere in there too.

Kuroo swallowed anxiously, but he kept the eye contact with Tsukishima. "I'll find something to eat," he replied with very little conviction, because he knew that all he had was that goddamned soup and white rice. His limited meal options were starting to lose their charm.

Kei's sigh was so stern and resigned that it reminded Kuroo of his teachers in college. "No you won't."

Kuroo sent him a puzzled look, waiting for him to explain himself.

"Come in, I'll order something," Tsukishima announced, all the while staring at Kuroo like he dared him to say anything. "I'll pay with your money if it can make you feel better."

"Well, it's yours now anyway," Kuroo said with a shrug, and it was the only intelligible thing that he could piece together because _what the fuck_. He walked in his landlord's apartment in the most confused state he had ever been in.

He wanted to give in and let this happen, but no matter how much he tried, he couldn't stop the guilt churning in his stomach. He wondered if he'd be an inconvenience for the rest of his life, freeloading off the back of everyone who was too nice to turn him away.

"Stop looking at me like that,” Tsukishima mumbled grumpily, and even though he had his back to Kuroo’s face, he still felt his fixed gaze on his back like a laser, “you'll owe me a pizza and that's that."

Kuroo cleared his throat just to fill the short but awkward silence. "I already owe you 78,000 a month, I guess that's nothing."

Tsukishima nodded once, and it was a very curt nod that basically begged Kuroo to let it go for once. "It really is, you can even forget about it and I won't remind you."

Although he tried, Kuroo found nothing else to stare at but the back of Kei’s head. The stress that was numbing his body might have gotten to his head, or maybe it was the situation he was in that wasn’t registering as _real_ yet. Maybe it was time for him to start accepting help without feeling like a child who gets everything taken care of by his mother.

He was still staring when Tsukishima turned around and exhaled noisily, watching him with a huffy expression.

"I said stop-"

"Thank you."

Tetsurou was looking right in the other man’s eyes, letting all of his vulnerability out on a field trip. Tsukishima seemed to be surprised for half a second before he picked up his phone and started ordering the pizza directly on the restaurant’s website.

"I'm not getting you special toppings,” he grumbled, looking decidedly down at his phone.

Kuroo grinned, letting out a soft sigh of contentment. "As long as you don't get pineapple..."

Kei looked up for a second, gave a half-smile, and plunged right back into his phone screen. He had been silently ordering for a while when he moved to the kitchen and invited Kuroo to follow along with one quick look over his shoulder.

"So, what's the big issue now?" Tsukishima asked once they were sitting down at his kitchen table.

Kuroo made himself a pillow out of his crossed arms on the wooden surface and laid his head down. "I got into trouble at work, and that means less hours for me until God knows when."

"Get a new job?" His landlord replied like this was something you could magically do by clicking a button.

Kuroo’s head rose back from his makeshift pillow in a flurry. "I can't risk having a potential employer call the only job I've kept long enough to find out that I was on probation for yelling at an old lady."

Kei’s eyebrows moved in a way that Kuroo interpreted as the epitome of judgement. "You yelled at an old lady?"

“She started it! Even if I tell you why I did that, you won't understand because your natural reaction to anything remotely insulting is staring at them until they piss their pants,” Kuroo mumbled while Kei obviously fought against a genuine smile.

He shrugged it off instead, staring blankly once he wiped the faint hint of a smile off his own face. “I've yelled at people."

“You have?” Kuroo asked, feeling uneasy from the thought of it only. “Don't you think that's overkill?"

Tsukishima shrugged one more time, crossing his arms halfway through.

Kuroo had a knowing smile as he watched him, because every little move Kei made was somehow funny to him. "Anyway, yeah, my boss is trying to give me my old schedule back but the company isn't having it."

Kei nodded twice, putting on a serious face that looked fake before he even opened his mouth to speak. "You know, we're looking for someone to watch over the sloths."

"I can't tell if you're mocking me or not,” Kuroo said, watching his landlord with wary eyes.

What Kuroo saw next shocked him. Of course, it wasn’t the first time he saw it, but it was shockingly just as exhilarating to see the smallest side-smile appear on Kei’s lips as it had been the first couple of times. Kuroo had never expected to like to get mocked so much in his life.

Tsukishima pretended like nothing happened, uncrossing his arms and sitting straighter on his chair. "Where do you work?"

Kuroo blinked and then squinted a bit before he answered. "Record store down the street like 15 minutes away, the one with the red windows."

Kei looked like he was suddenly deep in thought, which had Kuroo very intrigued.

"What?"

"I think I know your boss,” Tsukishima replied, without explaining anything.

That new information had not completely registered before Kuroo started stuttering. "What? No."

"Yeah. Tall girl, dark hair, glasses?"

"How the- why do you know everyone I know!?"

Kei had a mocking smirk, the same kind he graced Kuroo with on the first day they met. "Why do you know all these people I went to school with?"

Tetsurou wanted to get up and flail his arms in the air, just to give his sudden excess energy an outlet. "I- I don't know! Isn't this city supposed to be the biggest in the world?"

"Not the biggest, the most populated,” Kei replied matter-of-factly. Like an asshole.

"Same thing!” Kuroo yelled, which got him a wide-eyed glare from Kei. “Did your entire hometown move here at some point or what?"

For what seemed to be the fortieth time in 5 minutes, Kei shrugged like he couldn’t care less. "I mean, most of us I guess?"

"Your poor parents must be devastated,” Kuroo thought out loud, frowning confusedly to himself afterwards.

"Hm,” Tsukishima hummed, looking at the ceiling for some unknown reason, “some of us didn't really care about their devastation.”

"I bet, I guess I would've left my parents too if I hadn't been born here."

Kei brought his eyes back to his guest, studying him with more interest than Kuroo was used to from him. "Do you still talk to them?"

"Oh, yeah, my mom is pretty chill, considering,” Kuroo paused, letting the silence explain for him even though he knew he didn’t need to. “My dad is kind of a train wreck so neither of us still speak to him though. Do you?”

"Kinda. I call them once in a while but I can tell that they only talk to me because they feel like they have to."

Kuroo took a deep breath and gave this new information one drawn out nod. "Sorry about that."

"Don't be. I'm at a point where I don't even care anymore."

The tone of confidence Kei had spoken with made Kuroo feel strangely proud of him.

"They're still together? Your parents?"

Kei smiled the widest Kuroo had even seen, but it was slightly bittersweet because of how much anger there was in the silent laugh that followed the initial amused exhale. "Yeah, been together for 35 miserable years."

Kuroo scoffed softly at how dead Tsukishima’s voice got. "Why miserable?"

"They got together for convenience, they were the only kids who came back to their hometown after college and weren't, like... ugly as shit."

Kuroo couldn’t help but chuckle again. "Well, they probably weren't ugly at all given that, you know,” he explained vaguely as he waved his hand in Tsukishima’s direction.

Kei was clearly taken aback, but he tried to disguise it behind a simple incredulous scoff. "Thanks, I guess."

"You've been so nice to me, the least I can do is give you strange compliments.”

Kei brought a hand in front of his face in embarrassment and Kuroo grinned playfully. "I guess that'll have to do,” he answered, his voice muted by his hand.

Tetsurou nodded with the smile still stuck to his face, but his curiosity won him over so he picked the conversation up where they’d left it. "So they're not happy?"

"Mmh?" Kei hummed, putting his hand back on the surface of the table.

"Your parents, they're not happy?"

He frowned, more surprised than confused by the question. "I guess they're as happy as they know how to be,” Kei answered with a shrug. “You know, the height of their lives right now would be to see my brother and I getting married and having children, which is just predictable and a bit sad.”

Kuroo huffed a short laugh, having expected this would be the reason behind the apparently difficult relationship Tsukishima had with his parents. It truly was a predictable classic by now.

His stomach started grumbling from hunger, but he also felt a pressure lower down that didn’t feel like anything he’d felt before. “Anyway, I need to go to the bathroom,” he announced as he stood up from the table.

“Alright,” Tsukishima replied, “the food should be here soon, I’ll make some tea.”

Kuroo nodded, feeling infinitely grateful for all the help he was being offered. He gave one last tense smile, since he couldn't wipe away that feeling of using everyone around him by making them feel sorry for him, and finally walked to the bathroom.

As soon as he shut the door behind himself, it's like the uncomfortable pressure at the bottom of his stomach multiplied into each of his limbs, making him feel uncomfortably heavy. He grasped at the edge of the bathroom counter, staring at his reflection in the mirror with a confused frown. This was... not good.

He couldn't exactly pinpoint what was wrong, but something was very wrong. This wasn't how he usually felt when he hadn't eaten for most of the day, it normally felt more like a stubborn but harmless nausea. His face in the mirror was blurry and undefined, so Kuroo closed his eyes tightly and shook his head a little. Slowly, he opened his eyes again, but his reflection was even blurrier than before, like his eyes were a camera that just wouldn't focus.

He thought about excusing himself to go home and take a nap, but what if this was just his hunger evolving into a stage he had never reached before? Nothing would be fixed if he just went home to sleep.

But then, he felt his legs give out and he barely had the time to hold on tighter to the counter so he wouldn't collapse to the floor. He looked back up again, staring into his own eyes and seeing the mix of fear and confusion that had settled there. He had to calm down, he was only making it worse. He was hungry, that was it. He would eat a little bit and then everything would be fine.

He walked out of the bathroom, unsure about how long he'd stayed there staring at himself and trying not to faint, but pretending he was fine. Tsukishima was pouring tea in two mugs, biting his bottom lip distractingly. When he heard Kuroo coming back to the kitchen table, he gave him a quick look to acknowledge his presence but did a double take just as fast.

"Are you okay?" He asked with concern.

Kuroo shook his head yes. "I'm fine, just dizzy."

"Dizzy?" Kei chorused with an unbelieving smile. "You're greenish."

"I feel greenish, but I'm okay, I just need to eat."

Kei hummed in false agreement, a sarcastic hum that amused Kuroo. "You look like you're gonna puke it right back, but okay."

"I'm not nauseous, just maybe... a little feverish?" Kuroo finished with an uncomfortable smile.

"Why does it sound like you're asking me to check?"

Kuroo kept smiling with his awkward, begging smile.

Kei sighed with desperation, grabbing the mugs and bringing them over to the table. Once he put them down, he touched his own forehead first and then pressed his palm to Kuroo's, wincing when his fingers came in contact with his skin.

"Okay, so you're burning up," Kei said, sounding like the most tactless of doctors. "Did you just start feeling like that? This doesn't feel like a light fever."

"I mean, I've been feeling like shit all day but I thought I was just hating myself," Kuroo replied as he took one of the cups of tea in his hands. He felt his consciousness start to slip again, but the heat on his hands kept him focused on reality.

Kei moved his hand to hold the side of Kuroo's head that was free falling to the side, his nails slightly scratching his scalp in a soothing way. "You better not die in my kitchen," Kei said, and even though he was joking, there was just enough worry in his voice to show that he cared.

"Well the food better get here or I'm dying," Kuroo mumbled, keeping his eyes closed.

Kei had a soft smile, way _way_ too soft for his own liking, but he comforted himself in the thought that Kuroo had his eyes closed and hadn't seen anything. "I got the call from the pizza place while you were in the bathroom, they're on their way."

Kuroo answered in a hum, putting more and more weight on Kei's hand. Afraid that he'd fall asleep, Kei took his hand away by an inch and rushed it back on Kuroo's cheek, slapping him awake.

"Wha-" he protested, beyond confused.

"I don't think you should sleep like that if you're feeling like fainting," Tsukishima explained with a raised brow.

Kuroo pouted, bringing his own hand to his cheek and rubbing the lasting ache away. "There was no need for violence."

Kei answered with only a smirk at first as he moved away to pick up his cup of tea and finally let his mocking smile fall so he could take a long sip.

"I didn't want you to get too comfortable," he said once he took the cup down.

Kuroo smirked back at him. "Not a chance," he replied with a small nod of his head.

Their attentions were deflected by a ringing phone, and this time it wasn't Kei's cellphone but the intercom phone announcing a visitor at the front door of the building.

"Drink that," Kei said, motioning towards the mug in Kuroo's hands before he went to unlock the door for the pizza delivery guy.

Kuroo did as he was told, bringing the mug to his lips and taking a long sip, feeling the warm liquid make its way down his throat. It was almost too hot for his mouth to handle, but he took another sip right away because he couldn't stand how acutely empty his stomach felt now that he'd actually put something in it.

Kei welcomed the pizza guy and paid quickly, but Kuroo still found the way to drink half of his cup of tea in the meantime. The inside of his cheeks was tingling from the excessive warmth, but he felt better overall.

When Tsukishima came back and put the pizza box on the table, he looked at Kuroo's mug and lifted an eyebrow, but he quickly decided he didn't care enough to ask why Kuroo was chugging down his tea.

"There you go, now don't die."

Kuroo smirked up at him, taking a piece immediately. Once he had it in his hands though, he stared at it for an upsetting amount of time without eating it.

Tsukishima unwillingly did the same thing, holding his piece of pizza sadly in front of his face and staring at Kuroo with a thousand questions in his eyes.

"Thank you," Kuroo suddenly said, his smile turning sour and embarrassed.

Kei had a dry chuckle and tilted his head towards Kuroo's slice, begging him to just eat already.

They ate in silence for the first few bites, appreciating the quality they got for what it was worth.

"So," Tsukishima said once he was midway through his first piece, "what can we do to fix this?"

"What?" Kuroo asked with his mouth full, too shocked that Tsukishima of all people was down to brainstorm solutions like Oikawa sometimes had to do, but also angry that he was bringing yet another person down with him because of his misery. "It's not your problem."

Kei scoffed as he got up from the table, moving to the cabinets to grab some plates. "You know, I'd normally be ecstatic to agree with you, but this is becoming a very present thing in my life-" he put a plate on the table next to Kuroo "-and it's starting to feel like it's my problem too."

Kuroo blinked up at him, speechless in his guilt.

Kei rolled his eyes in one of the most dramatic ways known to man, at least Kuroo believed so. "Stop that mopping, boy. I don't have time to deal with your feelings, I'm trying to help you fend for yourself," he spat at him, finally reaching the end of his patience. "You need to get over yourself if you want to get better."

Kuroo stared with wide, shocked eyes, his eyebrows bent over his eyes showing a bit of hurt. “Oh, because I was not over myself when I came over here to beg you for some understanding, _boy_?”

Kei was looking at Kuroo with his intimidating stare that had probably taken years to perfect, but the slight shift in the curve of his mouth was exhilarating to Kuroo. “The day I’m gonna be asking for help is the day you’ll know that I’ve lost all respect for myself, but that doesn’t mean I’m not over myself. It’s not like I’m not trying, you know? I’ve been trying to get out of this shit for _years_.”

Kei nodded slowly, dangerously. He was going to murder him, Kuroo knew it. He had never been so excited by the prospect of dying.

“I know you feel like I must be out to sabotage every single part of your life for some fucking reason, but I’m actually trying to help even if there is nothing more disgusting to you than the help of someone who cares,” Tsukishima said with the straightest and most out of place expression that Kuroo had ever seen from that close. “Why do you act like I’m accusing you of dropping all that shit onto your own head? Not everything people say to you is an attack, you know?”

Tetsurou kept quiet, not because he’d been shut up, but because every word that left Kei’s mouth felt like a jump scare in a horror movie and he was on the edge of his seat. Kuroo had expected none of the words that Tsukishima had said, and all of them hurt more than the previous one. They were not attacking his life style, his laziness, or any flaw that Kuroo deemed deserving of a clap back. Kei was coming right for his victim complex, gutting it out in front of the entire city to give an example.

“You only seek help as a last resort even when there’s people around you who are ready to give you time and resources just because you’re too proud to admit that the shit you’re in isn’t metaphorical enough to ignore it anymore.”

Kuroo blinked way too many times, feeling like he was going to faint again between every blink. He had to stay awake, he had to hear this even though it hurt. The kitchen lights were white and harsh, but they made Tsukishima look like an angel sent from heaven to share a blessed message, kind of.

The light broke in sharp white spears, going past Kuroo’s eyelids, but not out. All he saw was white, white, white, and all he felt was the kitchen floor against his cheek.

 

* * *

 

“- _know_ , dude. He’s probably got work tomorrow, he’d kill me if I made him miss it.”

There was no white anymore, only black. It was much more soothing, lulling him into a comfortable lack of consciousness compared to the one he had been forced into.

“You realise that what you’re saying is literally horrible?”

Tsukishima was talking with someone in the hallway. At least it sounded echo-ey like a hallway, and Kuroo was one to pride himself on his deduction talents.

“I know, the curse of capitalism, blah blah blah,” Tsukishima replied in such a childish way that Kuroo wondered if it wasn’t actually Oikawa speaking, since that was more his style.

“I _swear_ , if he’s got a concussion and we didn’t take him to the hospital just because you didn’t want him to miss work, I’m going to haunt you when I die.”

Kuroo had no idea who that guy was, so he was starting to be very intrigued. Who could that be? Who would Tsukishima call in a moment of crisis?

Kuroo, being his nosy, insufferable self, crawled to the other end of the couch he’d been laying on to snoop on the two men. He caught a glimpse of brown hair, but all he had the pleasure to see clearly was the back of Tsukishima’s head all the way down to the back of his thighs.

Kei sighed for no apparent reason, until his friend spoke again and Kuroo understood everything. His sneaky smile was stinking up the entire room.

“I need to know, are you calling dibs or can I ask him out though?”

Kuroo covered his mouth in a micro-second, succeeding to smother out his sudden chuckle. He rushed back to the other side of the couch, laying back down and giggling behind his hand.

After Kei’s friend had a startled laugh in reaction to something Kuroo couldn’t see, he spoke again. “Okay, okay, I get it, he’s yours.”

“That’s not-“ Tsukishima said sharply before he stopped and groaned. “Shut up,” he replied instead, his voice more poisonous than ever, but his friend answered with a sweet laugh.

“Sure, Tsukki. Go play doctor,” the mystery friend said as he walked away, his voice becoming quieter with every step he made towards the door.

Once he was gone and that Tsukishima was standing alone in the hallway, Kuroo heard a drawn-out sigh and a muttered ‘ _fuck_ ’ before silence fell in the apartment for a good 5 minutes.

Suddenly feeling oddly uncomfortable as he laid on the most comfortable couch in the entire universe, Kuroo frowned and wrung his hands. It took a while for Tsukishima to move, and another while for him to put things away in the kitchen. Kuroo heard him rummage through his fridge, probably trying to find room for the pizza box. Tetsurou still felt like he hadn’t eaten anything in 5 years.

He was starting to drift to sleep again when Tsukishima finally entered his own living room, acting cautiously as if it was a contaminated zone. Kuroo had expected him to just go in his bedroom and leave it at that, but to his surprise, Kei walked up to the couch and kneeled next to it.

“I know you’re awake,” he said with what almost sounded like amusement in his voice.

Kuroo cracked his eyes open with difficulty, his heavy lids still covering most of his eyes and leaving him barely enough space to see. “I was just about to fall asleep.”

Kei exhaled in answer, shaking his head once. “I’ll bring you a glass of water and a blanket.”

Tsukishima left Kuroo’s side and came back with the promised objects after what felt like a year and a second all at once. He unfolded the blanket and put it unceremoniously on Kuroo’s sad form, allowing him to spread it the way he wanted. The glass of water was simply put on the floor next to the couch, and Kuroo noticed that it even had a couple of ice cubes in it when he looked down. He followed Kei’s gaze as he kneeled next to the couch again.

“You’re cute,” he blurted out without processing his thoughts before he spoke. He saw the confusion on Kei’s face before his own confusion reached his brain, though. “I mean, cute as in nice. For helping me.”

Tsukishima nodded slowly, visibly relieved that this wasn’t something else entirely.

“One weird compliment a day is enough, I think,” Kuroo joked, smiling softly at Tsukishima so he would know that he was feeling a little bit better than before.

“Sorry for sending you into a coma,” Tsukishima said, and although his faint smile was distinctly mocking, it was also clearly hiding something else that Kuroo was too tired to investigate. “If you want to talk about this without yelling tomorrow morning, I have work at 10 so I’ll be up around 8:30.”

“Okay,” Kuroo replied, feeling a sting in his heart at the reminder of what Kei had told him earlier that night.

Tsukishima stood up and started walking in the direction of his bedroom, stopping halfway to add one last thing. “If you feel bad during the night, wake me up and we’ll get you to a hospital.”

“Alright, but I think I’ll be fine now,” Kuroo said confidently, nodding at Tsukishima to convince him as well.

Kei chuckled and turned away, walking all the way to his bedroom and closing the door in a quiet click.

 

* * *

 

What they had come up with that morning was simply crazy, but Kiyoko was down for it and she was the most rational person either of them knew. After fainting a couple times and sleeping much longer than necessary, Kuroo had been a lot more receptive to Tsukishima’s help. He was also not in the mood for disappointing his landlord, strangely enough.

He got to work at 9:45 like he always did, sweeping the floors and logging on to Facebook before he unlocked the door and started chatting with Oikawa until someone would show up. He wasn’t feeling particularly weak, which was quite a feat after the evening he’d had. He was putting the fault on stress until he somehow found the actual cause.

The sound of the door being opened grabbed his attention and he watched as a tall man with silver hair and big green eyes walked towards him with the cheekiest smile in Japan.

“Oh my _fucking_ God,” Kuroo exclaimed as he ran to the other side of the front desk and literally launched himself at the new comer. The man caught him, laughing loudly as he hugged his friend for a little while longer.

Once he’d been dropped back on the floor, Kuroo punched the man’s arm so hard it would probably bruise, but his wide smile did not falter. “Why didn’t you tell me you’d be here, you asshole?”

Lev grinned, showing all his teeth like an excited little boy. “It’s not a surprise visit if I warn you.”

Kuroo chuckled, shoving Lev away playfully. “I can’t believe our Russian virtuoso is gracing me with a visit,” he exclaimed, exaggerating every part of his statement.

Kuroo hadn’t seen Lev in a while, like a 6 month while, so it did surprise him quite a bit to have him show up at the record store. He was acting all casual, leaning against a shelf like he was still trying to make himself as short as he could while he talked to people. “I found the time, amazingly. Do you still play at Hasaki’s on weekends?”

He had asked this as one asks about the weather. Kuroo stared at him with a dent between his eyebrows. “Didn’t I tell you about that? The fact that you don’t even know it’s been over for 5 months shows how popular I was there,” Kuroo tried to joke, but it fell flat before the words even left his mouth. “Incidentally, it goes to show how often we see of speak to each other.”

Lev gave an apologetic smile, pinching his lips as he thought about what to say. “Sorry, it’s the first time in a while that I’ve been back long enough to see anyone,” he said, and you could tell it made him a bit mad, even though he was out there doing something he loved way more successfully than Kuroo could ever dream to.

“I know man, don’t worry,” Kuroo brushed off with a casual wave of the hand, assuring Lev that he knew they both wished they could see each other more but they had other stuff to think about and it was normal. “You’ve been doing well, that’s what matters.”

“Mmh, yeah,” Lev replied, shaking his head up and down like a proud child. “They’ve extended my contract so I’m gonna play there for at least one more year.”

Kuroo had an impressed smile and nodded in approbation. “Congrats dude, how much did they have to pay to keep you?”

Lev grinned at Kuroo’s cheekiness, fondly remembering the times when they didn’t even ask to be paid for a gig. The little bit of exposure they got was all they really wanted, and it was much easier to get it when you didn’t set a price and took whatever they were willing to give you. Sometimes, that was absolutely nothing.

“Not much,” Lev replied with a wink, grinning giddily afterwards.

It was true pride and happiness that Kuroo was feeling for Lev, even though he desired what he had fiercely. Being jealous of someone’s luck was as necessary as getting mad for not winning the lottery.

“How’s it been going around here?” Lev asked after a short silent moment.

Kuroo shrugged, rolling his eyes halfway like whatever happened here was devoid of any interest. “Iwa left, came back, now he’s leaving again in a week. Ken and the boys are fine, but I guess you knew that. I lost my gig, now I work here full time which is not exactly true since I currently only work 26 hours a week until God knows when. I just had to sell my bed, just to give you an idea.”

“The bed my sister found at a flea market?” Lev choked out, starting to laugh midway.

Kuroo nodded with a guilty smile on his face. “That exact bed.”

“The one that had these weird green stains that she interpreted as either mold or paint?”

“That very bed. I scrubbed it off though, so the buyer doesn’t know.”

Lev laughed out loud now, giving in to the ridiculousness of the situation. “How much did you get for it?”

“Too much for what it was worth. Give my apologies to your sister for selling her gracious gift, by the way.”

Lev pulled out his phone and snickered. “Oh, I'll tell her."

Kuroo chuckled as well, picturing Alisa's face as she'd learn the news. "It's crazy that she gave me that like, what, 5 years ago, and I'm not out of that slump yet."

"We're never out of the slump, man, we're musicians. Watch me in 3 years, I'll be selling my bed too."

Kuroo irked an eyebrow. "Do you want to bet?"

"I'm betting my bed," Lev replied with a grin. "You could try to get a new gig though, since you don't work as much."

"Yeah, no, I can't really practice at home anymore so I'm a little rusty."

Lev had the puzzled look of a confused but wholesome dog. "What? Why?"

"My new landlord takes noise complaints a little more seriously than the previous one, so my neighbours file them more often than they used to," Kuroo replied with an over-it shrug. "I got one for making coffee after 10pm once."

"Why were you making coffee that late?" Lev pondered accusingly.

"Because I'm living my life?" Kuroo replied defensively, deeming it unnecessary to mention that he was marathoning all the shows he hadn't had the time to watch after finding an unprotected wi-fi connection that night.

Lev smirked, because he knew the real reason was probably awfully dumb. "And what's that about a new landlord anyway? What happened to mister yes-man?"

"Mister yes-man tragically passed away," Kuroo announced with a solemn expression, which Lev giggled at - wasn't that such a disrespectful reaction to news such as this? - and Kuroo nodded twice to make sure that Lev didn't think he was kidding. "He left the building to his nephew, who's much less of a yes-man, let's put it that way."

Lev pinched his lips to hide a childish smile. "Why am I not surprised that you've already tried to put him in your back pocket?"

Kuroo frowned, offended that his friend would even dare think that very true thing. "I didn't even have the time to try, I've never seen someone impersonate the word "no" as well as he does."

"It sounds like you're being harsh on him," Lev said as he grinned wider.

Kuroo squinted like an animal on the prowl. "Yeah, maybe I am," he answered with a sarcastic shake of the head.

Lev let his satisfied smile grace his face a little longer. "And about Daphne?"

The look Kuroo sent him halfway through the name _Daphne_ confirmed that Lev had just stepped into dangerous territories.

"It's been two years Lev, she's not coming back."

There was still obvious hurt in Kuroo's usual joyful eyes, and Lev clenched his jaw from the anger he felt for himself and the girl that left his friend so brutally. "It's only been a year and a half for me, but yeah, sorry, I shouldn't have brought her up."

"It's okay," Kuroo said as he gave a nonchalant wave in the air, "I'm the one who kept saying she'd be back when we'd see each other again."

Lev nodded, looking down from Kuroo's eyes. "And there's been no one else since?"

Kuroo frowned and stared to the side of Lev, watching the wall of new releases with a fixed gaze. "Not since," he answered in a quiet voice, close to a whisper.

After he stared at the floor for 3 of the heaviest seconds of his life, Kuroo looked back up and smirked at Lev. "Kenma would've killed me."

 

* * *

 

Kuroo was already lying in bed and had just turned off his phone when his apartment door slammed into the corridor wall. Startled, he jolted up in bed and looked for something to pick up and defend himself with, until he heard the wail of the man-baby that lived across the hallway.

"Tetsu-chaaaan," whined Oikawa, punctuating his cry with a loud thump in the wall next to the bedroom. "Ow..."

Kuroo walked out of his room, utterly fascinated by the situation. For having seen Oikawa in all of the least flattering states you could imagine, Kuroo could bet that the poor guy was blackout drunk on a Monday night. He stared down at his friend who was holding one of his feet and looking up at the ceiling like he could see God through it.

"What have you done?" Kuroo posed with just enough sternness to get a serious answer and not some unclear babbling and giggling. Oikawa was a happy drunk, even though you couldn't really tell from watching him at that moment.

Oikawa's expression switched from pain to sadness like it was the only two emotions he'd ever been able to convey. "Hmmmmm," Oikawa attempted, trying to say something but only ending up even closer to tears.

"Hey," Kuroo cooed as he kneeled next to the human mess sitting on his floor, "come on, stand up."

Kuroo grabbed Oikawa's arm and put it around his shoulders, helping him up and dragging him into the bedroom. Oikawa made dying dog noises the entire time, limping on the foot that had collided with the wall. Kuroo hoped it wouldn't be anything serious, but considering how hammered Oikawa was, he wouldn't even be surprised to find out he has a broken a toe.

Oikawa fell face first on the bed, collapsing on Kuroo's messy bedding and wiggling around like a sad worm.

Kuroo stood at the end of his bed, watching Oikawa with an amused smile but the look of a confused parent who wonders where they went wrong in his eyes. "What happened?" He asked as softly as he could.

Oikawa hummed for a while longer, still weeping into Kuroo's comforter as if it was a huge kleenex. When his head perked up and he sent a completely cheated look Kuroo's way, there were wet patches on there that Kuroo didn't care to identify as either tears or snot.

"He left," Oikawa said with the energy of a disgruntled toddler, and then he was sniffing and crying again.

Iwaizumi had just left for the last 4-months trip he had to do for work that morning, but Oikawa usually took it like a champ. It usually was only a couple of weeks later that he started getting the dreaded Boyfriend Withdrawal Syndroms, but even those had never been bad enough for Oikawa to get drunk all on his own and wipe his runny nose all over Kuroo's bed.

"Yeah, I know, but you're strong enough to go through that, you did it three times already," Kuroo spoke quietly, sitting on the end of the bed painfully slowly so he wouldn't startle Oikawa.

Oikawa shook his head no more times than Kuroo could count. "No, you don't understand, he – he left so fast and I was still in bed and he didn't even kiss me goodbye, I said I love you and he slammed the door before he even heard it – like, am I unlovable? Is he going to break up with me over the phone and I'll have to move out while he's still in Egypt and my dad will kill him? Like my dad will literally attempt to murder him and-"

"Oiks," Kuroo interupted before he heaved the world's longest sigh ever, he was sure. "Ok, first of all, when was his plane this morning?"

Oikawa stared at Kuroo with his _my-dad-is-going-to-kill-my-boyfriend-in-front-of-my-virgin-eyes_ eyes. "I don't fucking know, 8?"

"Can you give me the approximate time when he left and slammed the door?"

Oikawa looked like that woman in a Spanish telenovela who's looking very confused about math for a couple seconds. "I mean, when I stopped crying it was 7:30."

Kuroo rubbed a hand on his face in an effort to soothe his nerves. "Alright, so first of all I'm going to need you to understand the concept of being late-"

"No but he didn't answer my texts!" Oikawa yelled in indignation as he rolled from laying on his stomach to laying on his back. "I sent him like 3 million texts and he didn't reply once – not once – I'm being fucking ghosted by the love of my life and I can NOT bounce back from this!"

Kuroo got tired of Oikawa wiggling like a cockroach that fell on its back so he threw a pillow at him and held him down with it. "That sounds like tequila talking and I don't like what tequila says!"

"You know tequila is right!"

"No, what you know is that your boyfriend's been on a stupid plane for hours and you don't get fucking service on a plane!"

Oikawa suddenly stopped moving and his expression became completely blank. "Oh."

"Oh is right, take that, tequila," Kuroo replied victoriously, but it didn't last long because Oikawa had found another thing to pick at and his tequila-fueled rage was back at full force.

"He could've texted me before the plane took off, like what was I supposed to do all day?"

"Maybe you were supposed to assume that he'd been rushing to catch his plane and that he was probably busy enough already trying to haul his 4 months worth of luggage around Tokyo's airport. Maybe he thought you would understand the situation he was in."

Oikawa blinked at Kuroo an excessive amount of times before he reacted to this in any way. His hair had cascaded gracefully around his head on the bed, circling his face in a honey brown halo that made him look like a child. There was a blush high on his cheeks that Kuroo recognized too well as a drunken blush, the kind Oikawa had when they'd been drinking for hours and it was time to go home. The tears that followed only made him look even more like a painting, like a surreal image of perfection that Kuroo was still baffled with.

"You _know_ he'll call you when he's back at the hotel and you _know_ there's a 7 hours jet lag," Kuroo added in the soft mom voice that always seemed to calm Oikawa down.

"I know, I know, but I can't help thinking that every little thing he does carries so much weight when I don't see him for months at a time... and, and, 3 times 4 months, that's a fucking year! We've almost been a year apart! I don't blame him if he loses interest in me, a year-"

"Fucking hell Oiks, how long have you known him? Like 25 goddamned years! You've probably each been on your own long enough in these 25 years to make it more than a year," Kuroo argued before he let out a serious contestant for the previously longest sigh of the world that he'd heaved only minutes earlier. "I don't know how he does it, but he's still by your side after 25 years, so at best he's getting a breather to prepare himself for the 25 years to come."

"Hey!" Oikawa yelled in indignation, still crying but failing to hold back his delighted smile. Kuroo couldn't remember a time when he'd seen Oikawa so emotionally indecisive.

Kuroo shrugged, grinning back at him. "You know I'm right, he needs a medal for the work he's doing."

"You should know that dating me is heaven, you blind bully!"

"Nah, you see, I'm everything but blind, I can totally see why Iwa goes through all that trouble."

Oikawa gasped and rolled back onto his stomach. "Don't objectify me! I'm a delight in many ways!"

Then, the crassest smile ever unfolded on his lips. "On my back, on my knees, on top..."

Kuroo's laugh exploded out of him, so he slapped a hand on his mouth to stifle the rest since it was almost 11pm and they'd already been loud enough. Tsukishima didn't need more noise complaints that were totally Kuroo's fault.

"You're such a slut," Kuroo joked, winking back when Oikawa gave him a sultry wink.

"A loyal slut, a loving slut," Oikawa replied proudly, slamming his chest with his open palm to add drama to his words. "Seriously, if he asked me to marry him in a dumpster using a rusty bottle cap as a ring, I would say yes."

Kuroo stared at Oikawa with wide eyes, shaking his head up and down in surprise.

"I'd become a fucking American citizen to make it legal. I'd move to fucking Canada. Is it legal in Iceland? I'd learn Icelandic, that's how ride or die I am."

Kuroo had a sweet smile plastered on his face as he listened to Oikawa, watching as the boy's eyes glistened with the remaining moisture of the tears he hadn’t shed. As they smiled at each other with that everything-is-okay-now certainty, Oikawa's phone started ringing and he fumbled with it in a drunken panic.

The phone wasn't even on his ear when he started speaking way louder than necessary. "I love you, you didn't hear me this morning and, yeah, I love you."

The smile on Oikawa's face went from relieved to something beyond euphoria, displaying an emotion that was so real and pure that it was unfortunately unknown to most men. Kuroo guessed that he'd heard it back.

"Yeah, and don't worry about me, I'm not doing anything dumb."

Kuroo raised his eyebrows at that, giving Oikawa a look that he'd already given him too often in his life. Oikawa shook a hand in his direction, asking him to let him lie this once while Iwa maybe still thought he was speaking to his sober boyfriend.

They talked for a little while longer, telling each other what they hadn't had the time to that morning. They exchanged sticky sweet goodbyes only a couple of minutes in, and Oikawa rolled his eyes at Kuroo's gagging noises. Oikawa made his boyfriend promise to text him the next day before he hung up, sighing happily once he let the phone fall down on his lap.

"Don't even think for a second that he didn't realise you were smashed," Kuroo warned him, grinning naughtily as Oikawa mimicked his expression.

"He loves me when I'm drunk, so..."

Kuroo chuckled as he crawled forward on the bed and slid his legs under the covers. "For some fucking reason," he joked as Oikawa pulled his tongue out and made a face.

Oikawa toppled backwards when he was done scowling, pulling the rest of Kuroo's comforter his way. "Can I sleep here?" He asked like a child begging his parents to sleep in the middle because he had a nightmare.

"Are you gonna puke in my bed in the middle of the night?" Kuroo asked, but Oikawa already knew he would be allowed to stay just with the tone of his voice.

"Maybe," Oikawa replied with a cheeky smile, ruffling up the covers happily and slithering underneath them.

Kuroo thought that it was a shame that there was even the slightest chance that Iwaizumi hadn't noticed how drunk Oikawa was, so he turned his phone back on and took a short video of Oikawa holding the covers tight around his neck and rolling from left to right as he giggled for nothing. He'd just sent it to Iwa when Oikawa realised what had just happened, and instead of getting mad, he rolled all the way over to Kuroo and nudged his arm to cuddle up to his side.

"Take a photooo," he whined, keeping up the act just because he knew that it amused Kuroo. "I'll try to be cute so you can't blackmail me with it later."

Kuroo scoffed, but he did what Oikawa asked and snapped a picture of them. Oikawa looked tired and soft on it even though he'd been spinning around in bed merely a minute before, so Kuroo captioned it _don't worry I'm babysitting him_ before he sent it to Iwa as well.

Oikawa's rush of energy seemed to die almost instantly once he got comfortable, toying with Kuroo's hair with the tips of his fingers. Then, out of the blue, he snorted a laugh and hid his face in Kuroo's shoulder.

"What?" Kuroo asked with a small laugh of his own.

"I called my dad earlier to tell him I wouldn't be at work tomorrow and he was so fucking worried, then I broke my toe? And for no reason in the end?"

Kuroo chuckled, also feeling overwhelmed with how impulsive that stupid boy could be. "I mean, there is a reason..."

"You're right, I'm a cancer with libra rising, it clashes together," Oikawa replied in his serious voice, the one he slipped in when he was talking on the phone with Kuroo while at work and someone would knock on his office door to ask him a question.

Kuroo giggled silently, his body shaking with the laughter. "I meant that you're a dumbass, but sure, let's go with that."

Oikawa made a small protest noise and moved his head closer to Kuroo's neck, tickling his cheek with his soft hair. "You need to learn and accept that our lives and personalities are dictated by floating rocks in the sky, stop sounding so much like a scorpio," Oikawa slurred with his limited facial movements and his body still quite intoxicated.

"Well, if what you're saying is true, I can't stop sounding like a scorpio, can I?" Kuroo asked as he nudged Oikawa's head with his shoulder.

"Mmf," he gracefully answered, mumbling against the top of Kuroo's shoulder. "You're the worst person in the world."

Kuroo smiled and patted Oikawa's back. "I know."

"Shut up," Oikawa spat as if he hadn't said it first, "you're great and I love you."

Kuroo sighed, recognizing Oikawa's elongated syllables as a sign of extreme tiredness and imminent sleep. He'd probably have to hold him like that for most of the night.

"I love you too, you big ol' mess," he whispered, unsure if he was speaking to a conscious person or not.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I AM STILL AN AWFUL MOTHER TO MY CHILDREN
> 
> I loved writing this one, even though it all had to be done on my goddamned phone.  
> Was it worth the wait? Please don't say no or I'll cry.  
> Next chapter will be up in less than a month, I swear!  
> Love you guys xxx
> 
>  
> 
> [I have a tumbulé](http://sandgoddess.tumblr.com/)  
> [New! I have a twitteritu if you like that better!](http://twitter.com/megabitch2001)


	8. Groceries

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi.
> 
> Good morning it's 3 am and I've got work tomorrow.

The air was biting cold on his warm face, hitting him in sharp bursts. The door swung closed behind him and he looked over his shoulder when it slammed shut. It was 1 am, so he winced and hoped that no one had heard that.

Oikawa had walked to the railing at the edge of the roof and his nails chipped the paint on the metal fence standing between safe grounds and a 3 story fall. Kuroo walked up to him, frowning softly with more worry than curiosity. He had only known this guy for a couple of months, so the theatricality of this entire hassle was too extreme to be trivial.

When Kuroo joined Oikawa, the latter chuckled at himself and looked down to the street below them. “You must think I’m gonna tell you I’m dying or some shit like that.”

Kuroo looked at him for a second, incapable of standing the atmosphere surrounding his friend longer than that. “Nah, I’d just like you to get on with it.”

Oikawa laughed again, and it seemed that every time he did, the sound died sooner. “If it was that easy, you would’ve known the day you met me.”

Kuroo had an idea of what that was about, obviously. He’d had so many friends coming out to him in the past that it started feeling like routine at some point. He knew what was at stake here, and what kind of chance Oikawa was taking with him. If he felt like it, Kuroo could go up to their landlord, spill the secret and get him and his boyfriend evicted, which would in turn make it virtually impossible for them to find another place to live because of the credit investigations that came with new leases. Of course, Kuroo was not a hateful person and he would never do that, not to mention that it would be absolutely nonsensical.

He stared at the city in front of them and inhaled deeply, letting the cold air of November fill his lungs.

“Take your time,” Kuroo said in a tone just above a whisper.

Oikawa closed his eyes and let the silence settle between them again, allowing it to speak for him way more than he would’ve expected. The wind brushed his hair to the side softly despite its strength, and from the momentary content look on his face, Kuroo could tell that the feeling had been soothing enough to ease his panic temporarily.

“When I moved here,” Oikawa started once the gust of wind died down, “I thought I was just moving in with my best friend until we would both settle down someplace and move on.”

Oikawa crossed his arms over the fence and looked straight down at the sidewalk. “But, hum, I guess this isn’t what’s happening anymore.”

Kuroo nodded slowly. “I know.”

Oikawa raised his head and stared at Kuroo with hope in his eyes. “You know?”

“Yeah, dude. Two weeks after you guys moved in, I knew,” Kuroo replied, ending with a shrug. “I didn’t talk about it because it’s none of my business, but don’t worry about this, I’m not straight either.”

His friend’s face lighted up, beaming so brightly compared to just a minute before. He laughed nervously and brushed his hair away from his face.

“Oh my God,” he said incredulously, “I can’t believe I was freaking out about this, of course you’re chill with that, oh my God.”

Kuroo chuckled once, keeping a grin plastered to his face. Oikawa’s relief was contagious.

“Fucking hell,” Oikawa cursed as he held on to the railing and sat down on the roof. Then he laughed, freely and uncontrollably. He had both hands in his face to hide his red cheeks and he just giggled until Kuroo gave in, sat with him and laughed with him.

They talked for 5, 15, 30 minutes, unbothered by the cold and the noises of the city around them. Most of Oikawa’s friends knew, so he’d wanted to tell Kuroo because he considered him just as much of a friend as his high school gang, despite the dangers. They hugged it out until the wind got to them and they were too tired to stay up there.

They came back to the roof a couple of times after that, mostly when they felt emo and needed a little something to help them talk. Nobody else came to the roof, as far as they knew, so they felt possessive towards it, seeing it as this extension to their apartments that existed just for them.

 

* * *

 

Kiyoko ran into the store 10 minutes before noon and slammed both of her hands on the desk, exuding an overjoyed energy but still looking as passive as she usually did. Kuroo stared at her for a couple of seconds, anticipating the news of the century.

“It worked,” she said, still having a hard time believing it herself.

Kuroo blinked, gasped, blinked again, and Kiyoko smiled shyly at him. “You’re kidding me?”

“No, it appears that Tsukishima-san is either an excellent liar or a convincing actor,” Kiyoko said with a smooth shrug. “Either way, I got the green light and I can change everything back to normal.”

Kuroo couldn’t even conjure the mental image of Tsukishima calling Kiyoko’s superiors and pretending to be a pissed off customer who wonders where the only employee who truly understood his peculiar taste in music was off to. They actually had a customer who bought at least one record every week, so they had matched the dates and the titles bought with the story to make it believable and it had _worked_. Only half of these records had been sold by Kuroo and the customer in question had never asked for recommendations in his life, but since Kiyoko’s superiors had no idea about that and considered money as the most precious thing in life, they had seemingly bent pretty easily.

Kuroo walked around the desk and grabbed Kiyoko by the shoulders. “Can you still take your entrance exams?”

Kiyoko stared at him, a little startled but still in control. “I need to pay to reschedule, but yes, it’s possible,” she assured him in the cutest voice. Kuroo had learned to read Kiyoko throughout the years, and that was the closest to giddy he had ever seen her.

“I could pick you up and spin you around right now,” he warned her, laughing as she stepped away and shook her head no.

“Get to work,” she said in her best attempt at a stern voice as she walked away from him to clock in with the computer.

He smiled at her once more before he went up to the second-hand record display and started to classify them alphabetically. It was the most boring task to do in the whole store, but he went through it with a lighthearted smile.

 

* * *

 

“You’re _unreal_ , dude,” Kuroo praised as they walked through the park that was on their way to the grocery store. Well, it wasn’t on the way per say, but it was close by and it made the walk barely longer, which didn’t actually bother either of them.

Tsukishima scoffed dryly, raising his chin higher and looking at the expanse of trees before him. “It barely took me 5 minutes, I bet you could’ve called and tweaked your voice a bit and it would’ve worked just as well,” he shrugged off, pretending like he wasn’t at least a little proud of himself.

“Chyeah, I would’ve been too scared of them finding out in some way or another and getting into even more trouble,” Kuroo denied, looking up at Tsukishima with his eyes filled with laughter. “If they find out it’s you, it’s less suspicious.”

“I guess,” Tsukishima replied, his eyes still locked on the wooded area at the back of the park, “I don’t think they have enough time to waste on tracking me down, honestly.”

Kuroo had an argumentative gasp. “They had enough time to waste on ruining my life.”

Kei finally offered him a side glance, smirking mockingly at him. “You martyr,” he said with fake empathy, and that was probably Kuroo’s favorite thing in the world.

Tetsurou replied in kind with an arrogant smile that felt awfully snobby, but it was so fun to let Tsukishima think that he was getting to him in any way.

The park was almost empty at this hour of the day since most people were at work and most kids were still in school. They walked undisturbed, only meeting a couple of dogwalkers on the way. It was the third time they were going to the store together, but it had been a while since the last time they’d gone considering that Kuroo had had to seriously live on rice and ramen for a good month. Now that he’d gotten a decent paycheck and paid a part of what he owed Tsukishima, he could buy something else than instant _fucking_ ramen.

“You’re strangely quiet all of a sudden,” Tsukishima commented once they got to the other side of the park and had to rejoin the sidewalk.

Kuroo grinned to himself. He'd been thinking of something to ask. “What’s the most embarrassing thing you’ve ever done?”

Tsukishima squinted at him confusedly, but he’d learned to stop asking questions so he started thinking about his answer. “You mean, other than anything I’ve put you through?”

“Come on, if asking me to kick a naked guy out of your place is the most embarrassing thing you’ve _ever_ done, I’m not sure I can associate with you anymore.”

Tsukishima chuckled briefly, but he wrung his hands as he thought about it more. He knew exactly what it was, but he also knew painfully well that this wasn’t something you could talk about in a park with a guy you’ve known for about 5 months.

It was the thing that still mortified him to this day and it definitely was the thing that he was the least proud of, but he had to sugar-coat it because Kuroo didn’t seem to be in a mood to play psychiatrist.

“Okay,” Tsukishima started, unsure of how to put it, “I don’t condone this behavior in any way, and I don’t want to put you off about going grocery shopping with me forever, but you asked to know.”

“This is promising,” Kuroo said with glee painted on his face.

“So,” Kei took a deep breath, “I don’t know if I’ve actually told you about my first boyfriend before? The only one I’ve ever had, actually.”

“Nope, did not hear about him.”

Tsukishima had a bitter sigh that was probably meant to go unnoticed. “Well, this is about how we broke up. Very publicly. In a grocery store.”

Kuroo nodded twice to encourage him to continue. He kind of liked where this was going.

Kei took another deep breath before he exhaled in a sudden laugh, having a hard time believing he was about to tell someone else about this. He thought the embarrassment of having an audience when it happened would’ve been enough to convince him to never talk about it.

“So, that guy was… he was clingy, I guess,” Tsukishima tried to explain without sounding too condescending. He tried not to react to the shivers crawling up his spine at the number of uncomfortable memories that were now flooding his brain. “I don’t mean like he wanted to hold my hand or things like that, he was literally always all over me.”

“When was that?” Kuroo asked, shamelessly curious.

Kei shrugged, like it didn’t matter. It mattered a lot to him, but it didn’t really change anything to the story. “We were just 18, it didn’t last more than a couple of months. It’s a miracle it even happened at all.”

The wording was so ironic. It might’ve been a miracle for that other guy.

Tsukishima kept walking as casually as before, and he tried to remain pretty much straight faced because he had to tell this dumb story now and it would be weird for him to stop without explaining why.

“I think I wanted to break up the day we started dating. I just accepted his demand because I thought I at least had to have had a boyfriend once in my life. You know, 18 year old mentality.”

Kuroo was enjoying this new window into Tsukishima’s life way too much, grinning at him so warmly that it made it much easier to go back on these events for Kei. “I don’t picture you as someone who wants to have a boyfriend for the street cred, even as a teenager.”

“And I’m not,” Tsukishima assured him, shaking his head no a couple of time. “I don’t know what got over me. Probably a mix of peer pressure and being harassed by that guy just enough to get on my nerves, but not enough to scare me.”

“That guy really doesn’t sound like a swell guy,” Kuroo said, and Kei tried not to react too much at that.

Tsukishima took a moment to put his story together before he kept going. He also didn’t want to give an answer to that last thing Kuroo had said.

“So, yeah, after a couple of months I grew tired of him touching me all the time, and even while we were at the store getting stuff for his mom he kept grabbing my wrist and driving me around, or grabbing my arm and putting his hands all over my back so I just… snapped.”

Kuroo gasped at him, but the smile on his face was only bigger and brighter. “What did you do?”

Tsukishima couldn’t help the smirk he had in response to Kuroo’s delighted face. Maybe it was a little bit funny, after all. “You thought I’d never yelled at anyone before, well that’s who I’ve yelled at.”

“What did you tell him?” Kuroo inquired further, walking closer to Kei and staring up at him with wide, avid eyes.

“Well,” Tsukishima started as he laughed a little bit, “I don’t remember exactly, but I know that he kept interrupting me to tell me we were in public and I just kept going even louder. I also remember telling him to never touch me again or I would chop his hand off, and I remember that because he told everyone I threatened him.”

“That’s so metal,” Kuroo said in awe, like none of that had sounded strange to him. There were stars in his eyes and Kei was starting to feel very worried for that boy.

Still, he chuckled a bit because of the ridiculousness of it all. “That all happened in the canned food alley.”

Kuroo had to stop walking and put his hands on his knees until he got done laughing at that last addition. Tsukishima waited next to him with his hand on his hip, realizing that he was getting used to these dumb overblown reactions more and more. He’d been a little bit confused in the beginning because no one else than Yamaguchi used to think he was funny, and most of the time it was because they were mocking someone else. He doubted that Kuroo did find him that funny, because if he really did, that poor guy had an awful taste in humor.

“Sorry,” Kuroo said once he stood straight again, “but I’ve just had the whole mental image and it was too much for me.”

Tsukishima moved his hand towards himself so Kuroo would follow along and they started walking to the grocery store again, but this time, Kuroo was staring at Kei as he tried not to burst out laughing again.

They finally reached the sidewalk and the store was in their line of vision. Kuroo was still smiling dumbly and he was enjoying the strange feeling he got every time Tsukishima surprised him even more. “I think you did the right thing, honestly.”

Kei hummed in a questioning tone, asking for precisions.

“Well, he never cared whether you wanted to be touched or not and he even put you through that in public, that guy was an asshole who probably deserved everything you told him,” Tetsurou explained, punctuating it all with a carefree shrug.

Tsukishima frowned as he looked straight into Kuroo’s eyes, baffled by what he had just heard. It just seemed so easy to stop blaming himself when Kuroo put it this way, it was almost magical. If only Tsukishima could tell himself the same thing and believe it.

“I guess,” Kei said once the daze passed. Kuroo sighed, but he was still smiling, still childishly amused. “What’s _your_ most embarrassing story?”

Kuroo grinned wider, looking right in front of himself and nodding his head yes to thin air. “Oh God, I have so many, I can’t choose. I once walked in on Bo and Akaashi when I used to live with them. I bought a ¥5,600 bouquet of roses for my girlfriend when she asked to meet, but she just wanted to tell me she was breaking up with me. The first time I performed in a bar, the only people in the whole place were my mom, my aunt and the owner. I could go on.”

Kuroo had noticed that, most of the time, Tsukishima’s smiles were either subtle or brief in a way that was almost worrying, but Kuroo wasn’t the type to assume anything. Still, he felt relief when he saw that Tsukishima’s honestly joyous expression did not stop at his grin, but also reached his eyes and his cheeks like he’d never seen before. It ended with the both of them giggling a bit, appreciating Kuroo’s general lack of luck for the humour that could be found in it.

“So you really are cursed,” Kei concluded, some mischief still shining in his eyes.

Kuroo was about to reply when they were interrupted by their encounter with an intersection. They’d been walking peacefully for so long that they’d barely had to look where they were going before this moment. The store was just on the other side of the street, so Kuroo naturally jaywalked and waited on the other side for Tsukishima to cross the street safely while the pedestrian light was on.

“Aren’t you a fucking square,” Kuroo commented as he passed the automatic doors of the grocery store.

Kei sighed like the token indignant rich kid being challenged by a lesser character. “I would be twice as careful if I was you, with the curse and all.”

Kuroo winked at him as he pulled a cart out of the neat lines of carts that were offered to them. “I can’t keep being that entertaining if I don’t live dangerously.”

Tsukishima gave him a falsely impressed nod and eyebrow raise combo before he rushed in front of Kuroo to walk into the shopping area before him. Kuroo would be lying if he said he didn’t love to see him acting like a child.

“Come on, let’s get you some of these rich people ingredients for your refined cuisine,” Kuroo said in a tone that was way too loud for a mid-afternoon grocery run.

“Fuck you, ramen boy,” Kei replied under his breath, but Kuroo heard him because there wasn’t a second when he wasn’t paying attention.

With a sweet grin, Kuroo led the way to the first aisle of their trip.

 

* * *

 

Kuroo sat cross-legged on the floor of Tsukishima’s living room, still sipping on the glass of wine that he’d begun at dinner. It hadn’t been scheduled like the couple previous times Kuroo had eaten at Kei’s place, but it didn’t feel strange in any way. The last time he had eaten there, he’d ended up having a near death experience on the couch, so you couldn’t blame him for being worried. Nevertheless, it had been going perfectly fine until Tsukishima suggested cutting Kuroo’s sad excuse for hair.

Yes, it had been a while since he’d seen a barber for the last time. Maybe that was because of, oh, I don’t know, the fact that he barely had any money to feed himself, so that’s what he told Tsukishima when he accused him of skinning a possum and wearing the animal as an helmet.

Tsukishima supposedly had experience cutting his brother’s hair in the past, when they briefly lived together and were both going to college without much help from their parents.

“It only turned out to be awful the first couple of times I did it,” the blond yelled from the bathroom, and it was hard to tell if he was trying to sooth Kuroo’s nerves or make them worse.

He returned from the bathroom with hair scissors, a towel and an empty trashcan. “Ideally you should wash your hair, but I only really need it to be damp,” he explained as he dropped the towel on Kuroo’s hair. It was soaked in water and he already felt drops dripping down his neck.

“Shouldn’t we give ourselves the best conditions for this?” Tetsurou moved the towel away from his eyes, folding the hem over his head. “My hair isn’t necessarily the cooperative kind.”

“It’s going to dry all over the place anyway, it doesn’t really matter if it’s not perfect,” Tsukishima retorqued, calm and collected like Kuroo had never seen him before.

Kuroo scoffed sarcastically. “You say that because it’s not your hair!”

“Exactly,” Kei replied, a smirk hidden somewhere in his voice. He picked the towel back up and ran a hand through Kuroo’s hair to assess the level of dampness that had been achieved. “I’ll get a dry towel and a comb.”

Just like that, Tsukishima was gone again and Kuroo was left sitting alone in the living room, questioning each and every choice he had made that had led him there. He had an irresistible urge to blindly trust Tsukishima, but he was also understandably wary. He wondered if it was better to be mocked because of his bad and long hair or because of his bad and short hair. There was no winning for him, ever.

Kei came back with a similar but dryer towel and a comb with quite large gaps between the teeth. The first swipe of it against his scalp felt like a satisfactory tingle.

Tsukishima sighed a soft laugh when Kuroo leaned back and closed his eyes. “I’ve never actually seen you with your hair down like this,” he explained before Kuroo asked.

Tetsurou didn’t reply, tilting his head from one side to the other to allow Kei to comb every strand of hair. Once he was done, Tsukishima draped the dry towel around Kuroo’s shoulders to catch the falling hair and the water that was left on his neck. Quietly, Tsukishima leaned forward until his face was right next Kuroo’s right ear.

“Ready?” He asked innocently enough to fool most people, but Kuroo recognized something in his voice that he’d never heard before, something dark but incredibly appealing.

Kuroo’s eyes blinked back open and he turned to look at Kei, only then realizing how close he really had gotten. He stared right into his eyes, but his panicked gaze dropped down Tsukishima’s face and he found himself staring at his lips for a second too long before he looked back up. He expected an array of reactions, but none of them had been the sly smirk he got. Tsukishima backed away when Kuroo’s eyes started surveying his face again.

“I guess that means yes,” Kei said, still amused by whatever had just happened. He picked up a strand of hair between his fingers, flattening it out to see how much he would cut. “I’m barely giving you a trim, I swear.”

“Mmh-mmh,” Kuroo replied, unable to get any other sound out of his throat. His face had been so close. And now, his hands in his hair. Too much.

Kei hummed quietly as he went about his business, ruffling the hair and slicking it back down with the comb a couple of times to see how it would really look once dry. He cut the sides a little bit shorter than the back since that’s where the length had looked the goofiest, making sure that it would be concise once he would be done.

Kuroo had been right, this wasn’t easy hair to work with, but Kei was still doing a very acceptable job. He ended with the nape of Kuroo’s neck, unknowingly sending shivers all over his skin when the cold scissors slid along his skin.

The thing that snapped Kuroo out of his semi-trance was the towel leaving his shoulders and Kei shaking it over the trashcan. “You’re done?” he asked, his voice a bit hoarse.

“Yeah,” Tsukishima replied as he rubbed the towel to get some stubborn hairs to join all the others.

Kuroo grabbed his glass of wine and stood up, really hoping that the foggy feeling he felt throughout his whole body was solely due to the alcohol. He walked to the bathroom and looked at himself in the mirror, shocked to find that the final result was absolutely decent. “Wo, nice!” he shouted, unaware that Tsukishima was standing right next to the bathroom door.

“I’m just here,” Kei said before walking in the bathroom and putting the trashcan back where it belonged.

Tetsurou followed his every move with his eyes like he’d been hypnotized somehow. He had to physically shake out of it to fixate on his own face staring back at him.

“Thanks,” Kuroo said, taking a hand to his hair and moving it around. It was still a little damp, but it was dry enough to give a good idea of the general look.

Tsukishima walked back out of the bathroom, attracting Kuroo’s stubborn stare again. “You’re welcome,” he replied, straightforward and bland like everything was normal.

Kuroo walked out of the bathroom awkwardly, unaware of how to act casually when your head was about to explode. He had to get out of there and find a place to breathe, all of his senses were overwhelmed.

“Anyway,” he tried clumsily, “thank you again for the food and all, but I need to… turn in for the night.”

Kei looked back up from where he was putting the rug back in its place in the middle of the living room.

“So, good night.”

Tsukishima frowned, obviously curious, but he simply answered with “Good night” likewise.

Kuroo left his landlord’s apartment and climbed the stairs to the second floor two by two, rushing into his own apartment like he was escaping something. He closed the door and immediately sat down on the floor, letting his head fall limp into his cupped hands.

“Fuck my life,” he whined helplessly.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WOOOOH
> 
> So, I know I've said once that this fic has 2 unofficial parts, well the first part kind of ends with this chapter.  
> We're gonna have a small time skip next chapter and we'll go into some more... wild territories.
> 
> I'd love to know if you liked the chapter! I'm weird like that.
> 
> I have a [tümblr](http://sandgoddess.tumblr.com) and a [twittêr](http://twitter.com/megabitch2001) if you're not tired of me already


	9. Life

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> for once I'm not posting in the middle of the night
> 
> enjoy ;)

There was how he was never bashful about anything for too long. He went about his life, saying and doing what he wanted, rarely ever regretting what came out of it.

There was how funny he could be, and how he was always honestly surprised to make someone laugh. Everything in the way he told stories or made remarks was either deliciously awkward or fueled with a rage that had been left sleeping for too long.

There was how easy he was to tease. How validating it was to see him squint his eyes at you as if he could squish you down like an insect with his mind just because you told him he’s boring. How jubilating it was to hear the insulted gasps coming out of his mouth when he was taken by surprise by a painful truth.

There was his golden hair that looked like the softest thing on earth and his golden eyes, shining bright and lively behind clear glasses, but shielded away by way more than that. There was his lean face, the curve of his jaw, the shape of his lips. There was how strikingly beautiful he was, and how it was made even better by the way he presented himself when it really should not have. Everything about his demeanor had been cleverly crafted to push people away, but it kept pulling Kuroo in deeper and deeper.

There was how he took care of himself like an old woman during the day, knowing full well that he was going out with his only friends that same night, getting shitfaced and bringing a stranger home. How you could not tell any of this when you randomly saw him. How he seemed completely inconspicuous and ordinary to anyone who did not care to look. How Kuroo did not tire to discover who he really was, replacing the idea of him that he’d created the first day they met.

Oikawa was staring at him, and soon enough, snapping his fingers in his face to catch his attention. They’d been siting in silence in Oikawa’s living room for a while now, watching a movie that neither of them were really paying attention to.

“You look brain dead,” Oikawa commented with a snarky laugh, turning back to the movie and crossing one leg on the couch, under his pelvis.

“Sorry,” Kuroo said after clearing his throat, “I’m having a hard time concentrating.”

“What’s got you so out of it? You’ve been demoted to janitor?”

Kuroo chuckled as he pulled Oikawa’s electric blanket tighter around his neck. “No, work is fine, Kiyoko is actually trying to get me named assistant manager so I can officially take her place when she starts going to college full time.”

Oikawa tipped his head to the side until it rested on Kuroo’s shoulder. “That’s great then, baby doll.”

Even though they tried to fight against it, they ended up falling asleep on the couch before the movie was even over, Kuroo’s train of thought picking up from where it had left off and lulling him to sleep.

 

* * *

 

Kuroo grabbed the handle of the roof door and pulled, running his own elbow into his stomach when it refused to budge. He stared at the handle like it had forsaken him and, without even taking a second to really think about it, he bolted downstairs to the first floor and knocked at apartment 6.

It wasn’t very late but it also wasn’t super early in the night. It was like 9:30, at least it had been the last time Kuroo had checked his phone before he got the urge to go up on the roof and let the wind move around him. He was pretty sure this was the worst idea he’d ever had in his life, but Tsukishima was opening the door now so he had to go along with it.

“Why is the door to the roof locked?” Kuroo asked as soon as the door was open wide enough for him to see Kei’s face.

Tsukishima stared at him with only the minimal amount of concern. “Because it’s the roof,” he replied condescendingly, letting his tone of voice speak the number of insults that his tongue did not.

Kuroo shook his head no, baffled by what he had heard. "No, you don't understand, it's THE roof. The roof where Oiks came out to me. The roof where I came out to him! The roof where we got drunk together for the first time, the roof where I go when my thoughts are too loud for my head."

"Okay,” Tsukishima replied like a suicidal IT boy getting a call from an octogenarian, “and I've locked it because there were years of unusable appliances discarded there and the structure was weakened by the weight."

Kuroo had an arrogant scoff. "Always with the safety..."

"What's so special about a roof?” Kei asked once he got over the sudden urge to murder this pesky boy. “Don't you have a balcony?"

"There's no balconies on my side of the building,” Kuroo said, crossing his arms.

"We have a porch at the back,” Tsukishima retorted, mimicking his guest.

"With a view on the parking lot,” Kuroo ended with a smug air.

Getting dangerously tired of this back and forth, Tsukishima let his arms fall back on either side of his body and he leaned on the wall, letting all of his boredom shine through. "The roof's view can't be much better, we're only four stories high."

"We're right next to a slope, we see the top of the high rises downtown."

Kei sighed, straightened up and put a hand on the door frame. "You're not gonna leave until I fetch the key and unlock your dumb roof, are you?"

The smile that illuminated Kuroo’s face was one of a man who was so used to winning that being humble had become alien to him. "You've got me all figured out."

"Alright, let's see what's so special,” Kei said, giving up and walking away from the front door to go fetch the key. “I don't even know where I put the damn key."

"Come _on_ ,” Kuroo whined, his spoiled child persona taking the stage, “I'm changing your life right now, think."

"Chill,” Kei suggested strongly as he rummaged through a box that he kept on a shelf in his living room where he stowed all kinds of bits and bobs. He knew that’s probably where it had ended up, so he wasn’t too surprised when he felt cold metal on his skin and pulled out a rusty key. “Alright, got it, let's go."

Kuroo watched as Tsukishima walked back over to him with a smile in his gaze, so he cleared the path and tried to concentrate elsewhere. "Lead the way,” he choked out.

They walked up the three flights of stairs without saying a word, but Kuroo noticed that Tsukishima stole a glance every time he reached the top and turned a corner to get to the next set of stairs. It felt like he was making sure Kuroo was still following, but since Kei could hear Kuroo’s steps on each individual stair, there wasn’t much of a mystery there.

The cold, harsh light that shone directly on the dark grey door gave it a creepy look, almost like the signature antiseptic glow of an hospital. Once it was unlocked and pushed open, the night spilled out and the tight hallway became oddly livelier.

"Oh, it's cold out tonight,” Kuroo commented as he went to hug himself, rubbing his arms to keep his warmth.

Kei glared at him as Kuroo walked to the edge of the roof. "You have a coat, don't whine,” he spat out as goosebumps filled his exposed skin.

"Come here,” Kuroo asked, looking at the horizon as he stood unmoving, “it's the best spot.”

Tsukishima joined him after heaving an irritated sigh, tensing under the cool wind. Once he got right to the edge and had a full view of the part of the city they could see from the top of the hill, his eyes opened wider in shock. "Oh. I see what you mean."

"Right?" Kuroo replied smugly, turning towards Kei to catch his expression at that moment.

"We might clip through the roof at any given moment, but it is a nice place at night."

Tetsurou rolled his eyes dramatically before he brought his attention back to the view they had. "You should really get that fixed if it's that dangerous,” he advised as he sat on the roof, putting his legs through the holes of the fence and letting them dangle in the void.

Tsukishima had stared confusedly as he did this, but once Kuroo was comfortably seated, Kei did the same thing, sitting cross-legged next to him. "I have windows to change on the east facade and air conditioning units to add to 10 apartments, that'll have to wait."

Kuroo’s attention had been redirected towards Kei again, as it always did, but he only realised he’d been smiling softly at him when he stopped talking. "Air conditioning? Wow, this place is getting too fancy for me,” he replied, attempting to shake out of it.

"Well,” Kei started like he hadn’t noticed anything, “it's unfair for some people to have them and to pay the same rent as others who don't."

"Well, not if they paid to have them installed,” Kuroo said, watching with a sneaky smile as Kei sighed.

"I'd agree with you if these were condos, but they're apartments, so everything belongs to me in the end."

Kuroo scoffed a surprised laugh, watching Tsukishima with glee. "Wow, aren't you a tyrant?"

"Shut up,” Kei huffed, smiling to himself. “My uncle had like 600 thousand in debt and I had to pay all of it to get this place. It's mine and I paid for it."

Kuroo raised both hands in the air, swearing he was innocent. "All right, I never said you didn't, geez."

"Don’t be an asshole,” Kei warned as he moved his legs in front of his body, bending his knees and hugging around them.

Tetsurou bit his lip and looked away, trying to fight away the thought that this sitting position was extremely cute and that he was _extremely fucked_.

The city wasn’t too noisy under them, it seemed to slowly be going to sleep, if you considered that Tokyo ever slept. There were less cars, trains and buses driving around, so the sound pollution was at least bearable.

"Were you doing anything important before I disturbed your peace?" Kuroo asked, breaking their silence.

Kei huffed a small sound that sounded like a ridiculing scoff. "I was doing laundry."

"Big Friday night plans, I see,” Kuroo replied with an amused grin.

Kei nodded sarcastically. "Always. You don't seem to have any plans either."

"I was only coming up here to wallow in self-pity, classic stuff."

"Faithful to yourself,” Kei jibed, keeping his voice even so his words would hurt more.

"Mff,” Kuroo exhaled as he gave Tsukishima a childish shoulder bump.

Kei looked up at him and pinched his lips in an almost-smile. "Glad I could save you from that."

"Are you assuming that your company is better than a lonely existential crisis?" Kuroo asked with a crass smile animating his entire face.

It was Kei’s turn to roll his eyes now, annoyed to the point of being entertained. "Do you only know this type of predictable humor or will you ever surprise me?"

Kuroo gasped sharply, but the remains of his previously bubbly expression betrayed his true feelings. "Oh, I see how we're playing, okay,” he replied as he kept pretending to be offended.

He’d almost made Kei laugh when a sharp gust of wind swept the roof’s air and a shudder shook Kei’s underdressed body. Even if it wasn’t late fall, the nights were abnormally cold compared to the days lately, so Tsukishima’s t-shirt and pants were not cutting it.

"Shit, yeah, you must be cold,” Kuroo thought out loud as he unzipped his coat until it was completely open.

Tsukishima shrugged, watching curiously as Kuroo took one arm out of his coat. "Yeah but-"

"Come here," Kuroo invited, tilting his head towards himself for Tsukishima to get closer.

"What?” Tsukishima asked as a nervous laugh made his voice shake lightly. “No, I'll just get a blanket downstairs.”

"That's 3 floors down and I'm right here,” Kuroo stated, exuding the most innocent of intentions.

Tsukishima glared at him for a couple of long seconds before he squinted a little bit and started playing with his own fingers anxiously. "Isn't that weird?"

Tetsurou shrugged briskly and hummed, not knowing for sure. "If it makes you uncomfortable, yes, but it’s not weird to me.”

“No, not uncomfortable,” Kei tried to explain awkwardly. “I just… I guess…”

His knees seemed to be fascinating for a while before he looked back up, driven by a new confidence. “Okay, sure, fuck it.”

Kuroo was taken aback, glaring proudly as Tsukishima shimmied closed to him and cuddled up to his side. Once he was close enough to pull Kuroo’s coat around his shoulder, he stopped holding his breath but stayed a little too stiff.

“Better?" Kuroo asked as he grabbed the part of his coat that shielded Kei and held it tighter.

"Yeah, Tsukishima said with his cheek pressed on Kuroo’s chest, his voice resonating through his body, “better."

As the minutes passed, Kei seemed to melt into the light embrace, the tenseness leaving his body while the night sky reminded him more and more of how sleep deprived he was. Kuroo didn’t put his hands directly on Tsukishima, keeping one on the roof’s surface to keep his balance and the other on his own lap, gripping tightly to the sleeve of his coat. He also tried not to breathe too hard and give himself away, but that was awfully difficult to do with Kei’s fresh scent assaulting him at full force.

It’s only when Tsukishima yawned that Kuroo remembered how to speak.

"Tired?"

Kei was interrupted by another yawn before he could answer. "Yeah, I went out last night with my friends, so I didn't sleep a lot."

Kuroo smiled bitterly to himself as he bit the inside of his mouth. "Didn't you have work today? You still went out?"

Kei’s shrug was so slow and subtle that it just felt soft against Kuroo’s chest. "It was my birthday, so..."

"Oh!” Kuroo exclaimed, trying not to sound too relieved but grossly failing. “Well, happy birthday."

"Thank you,” Tsukishima replied, feeling comfortable enough to nestle gently against Kuroo, which almost killed him. Kei even closed his eyes and took a deep breath, which was just putting the first nail onto Kuroo’s coffin.

“You’re warm,” Tsukishima commented, apparently pleased by that.

Kuroo laughed, daring to let the sleeve go so he could put his actual hand on Tsukishima’s arm. He didn’t remember the last time he’d been that nervous. "I'm a space heater,” he said, even though attempting to make jokes in his situation wasn’t probably his brightest idea.

"I could fall asleep on you right now,” Tsukishima mumbled, leaning more and more into Kuroo’s side.

Kuroo stared at the city before him with round eyes. He’d never been this lucky in his life. "Big ass mood."

Tsukishima was trying to stop dozing off, so he shook his head a little bit to wake himself up, tickling the underside of Kuroo’s jaw with his hair. He didn’t really find their current positioning to be exactly professional and he did not think that falling asleep in the arms of his tenant would be much better. "Actually,” he whispered in the eerie silence of the night, “sorry for being curious, but can I ask you something?"

"Yeah, anything,” Kuroo replied, and he meant it.

"You told me that you used to perform in bars and I was wondering what that was about,” Tsukishima asked in such a low, tired voice, that Kuroo had to hold back from physically squealing.

"Hum,” Kuroo pondered before he cleared his throat, “I play music in bars. Jazz, mostly. Sometimes I'm alone with my piano and sometimes I'm with a band. It's been seven months since I've lost my contract, though."

"Mmh, I thought you had piano hands,” Tsukishima remarked, and Kuroo had no fucking idea what to make of that. “I've never heard you play."

"I don't really play here because I would get a hundred complaints. I used to go to a friend's house and practice, but he moved away for work."

Tsukishima scoffed like that was just plain silly. "If anyone complaints about you playing I'll just dismiss it."

Tetsurou looked down at Kei even though there was no way he could look back at him, squinting softly in confusion. "Are you sure?"

"Yeah,” Kei replied, showing Kuroo how useless his worries were as he always did. “I can't see how you can get contracts if you never play.”

"True,” Kuroo agreed, shaking his head.

"Do you play anything else?" Kei slurred, staying awake by focusing on Kuroo’s heartbeat.

Kuroo couldn’t keep the self-satisfied grin that tugged at his lips away anymore, but it’s not like it mattered now. Tsukishima deserved to know how happy this was making him. “I know a couple songs on the guitar and I took violin as an extracurricular from 12 to 18 years old,” he replied, being unusually humble about it.

Kei made a noise between a grunt and a pleased hum. "I like violin."

He was so cute. He was so _fucking_ cute.

"Do you play anything?" Kuroo asked as casually as he could under the circumstances.

"I don't really like playing,” Tsukishima explained after he yawned for the umpteenth time, “I like listening."

"What do you listen to?"

Kei shrugged once more, but this time, it felt more like a way to move slightly to the side and press his face even harder on Kuroo’s chest. "Oh, nothing crazy,” he breathed out quietly, “Brahms, Wagner, I can dwell into most of the classics."

Kuroo chuckled, trying to ignore his warm cheeks and how small Tsukishima could feel when he held him like that. "Wagner was a big dickhead,” he remarked, saying the first thing that came to his mind that wasn’t a promise to protect this soft blond boy forever.

"I know, his music is still beautiful,” Tsukishima sighed, having none of the required energy to give good arguments.

Kuroo tilted to the side playfully, pulling Kei along with him. "I want you to say he was a dickhead."

"Wagner was a dickhead,” Tsukishima repeated, annoyed but not enough to stop trying to cuddle up to Kuroo even closer.

"Thank you," Kuroo said after he’d barely avoided choking on his own spit.

After having them closed for a while, Kei’s eyes blinked open for a second before he squinted, blinded by the lights of the city. He noticed how crumpled Kuroo’s shirt was under his cheek and how he perfectly fit under his chin. He could get used to this.

"Would you play for me?" He asked as he looked up, waiting for Kuroo to look at him in the eyes.

"Yes,” Tetsurou replied without a moment of hesitation, diving right into Tsukishima’s lingering gaze. “I’ll need some time to dust off the old Casio."

There was just the hint of a smile curving Kei’s lips. "Just tell me when, you know when I'm free.”

Kuroo’s eyes were back on the horizon a second later, and even though the wind tried his damnedest to make his skin cold as ice, his face burned. "I'm starving,” he said informally, sitting up straighter to reach for his phone in his back pocket which forced Tsukishima to put his head on Kuroo’s shoulder instead of his chest. “Is there anything close by that delivers late?"

"Pretty much everything,” Kei replied with a frown. “Are you really gonna order food right now?"

"Yeah, they have online order," Kuroo announced as if it was something to brag about.

When Kuroo began ordering, Tsukishima’s own phone started buzzing with an incoming call. He detached himself from Kuroo’s side so he could reach the phone, blinking in confusion once he saw the number that was calling him.

"I need to take that," he explained as he stood up and let Kuroo’s coat curl back towards him. As soon as he wasn’t protected by Kuroo’s warmth anymore, he clenched his teeth and felt shivers crawling through his body. As soon as he accepted the call and pressed the phone to his ear, the panicked voice of Seikatsu, one of the zoo’s security guard, was the only thing he could hear.

"I called the veterinarian and she's at the other side of town tending to another zoo and I think Millie's giving birth and I'm just-"

"What? Oh, holy shit, okay, I'm gonna be over as soon as possible, stay close to her and keep her warm if she lets you approach and DON'T let Rai anywhere near her. I'm... I'll do what I can, try to get the vet on the phone."

Kuroo was now staring at him from a couple of meters away, frowning in worry as his phone fell from his hands and landed on his lap.

"Okay, alright,” the security guard replied, his voice shaking. “Please be quick, I think she wants to eat me."

"Yeah,” Kei said, unsure if he was saying that he would be quick or that Millie probably did want to eat the guy, “hang in there."

After he’d hung up, he gave Kuroo a strange pleading look. He didn’t know what to do, he didn’t have a car, it was too late to catch a bus and he did not have enough cardio to run there. He didn’t know how Kuroo could help him, but he definitely couldn’t find a solution on his own right now.

"It's happening?" Kuroo asked worriedly as he stood up, putting his phone back in his pocket.

"Yeah, and her assigned vet is already busy and no one is up at this hour... _fuck_ , I'm not trained for that at all."

Kuroo walked up to him and stared at him with a bad front of calmness. "Hey, look at me, breathe,” he instructed, waiting for a steady exhale. “Do you know how to drive?"

"No."

"Okay, we'll take Oiks' car and I'll drive you there."

Kei gave him an unsure side glance. "Really? You think he'd let us do that?"

"I'm sure he will, come on," Tetsurou assured him before he left for the door, inviting Kei to follow him with a tilt of the head.

They went down to the second floor, running in the hallway towards apartment 24. Kuroo knocked twice, loudly enough to be sure that any sleeping person on this floor was now wide awake. Fortunately for them, Oikawa had not been sleeping and he quickly answered the door with a curious and truly awful smile.

"Ooh, boys, hi,” he greeted, curling his hand strangely against the frame of the door. Kuroo had no time to wonder what the fuck that was about.

"We need your car," Kuroo blurted out directly.

Oikawa gave another grin, less ominous this time. "I'm good, how are you?"

"Oiks,” Kuroo tried as his voice became tinted with his faltering patience, “this is time sensitive, we're not kidding. Millie emergency.”

Oikawa’s eyes went as round as marbles and in a beat, he left to get his keys. When he came back, he put them in Kuroo’s hand and covered them with his own. “Send pics,” he asked, and he was absolutely serious.

Kuroo nodded and Oikawa took his hand away, freeing them to go about their business. They ran to the parking, passing each other as if they were somehow racing. It would’ve been very inappropriate for a 24 and 27-year-old to race to a car to help deliver a baby lion, but maybe they did anyway, giving each other dirty looks that meant ‘are you racing me right now?’ as they were racing the other as well.

Kuroo unlocked the car with a remote once they finally got outside so Kei would know which car it was without needing to tell him. Quickly, they both got into the car and messed with their seatbelt like they had hands full of thumbs.

It took a while, but they ended up leaving the parking lot and heading for the zoo. Tsukishima had his phone against his hear, mumbling insults at whoever wasn’t picking up.

“Who are you trying to call?”

“My brother who won’t fucking pick up,” Kei grumbled. “He’s a vet, more of the cats and dogs type, but still.”

Kuroo had a nervous chuckle. “What’s with your family and animals?”

Kei rolled his eyes like he’d been asked that 20 thousand times and Kuroo tried to convince himself that it was just the stress making him suddenly so cold. “He’s the one who went down that path first, his childhood dog died when he was in college and he couldn’t handle himself. I wanted to study paleontology, but I hated it.”

“What did you hate?”

Tsukishima sighed, bringing the phone to his ear for the third time in a hopeless effort. “Everything? I’ve been fed dreams my whole life, I was raised on Jurassic Park. I had too many delusions.”

Kuroo laughed as he stopped for a red light, anxiously drumming on the wheel with his index finger. “What, did you think you were going to come face to face with a velociraptor?”

“No, but I didn’t think I would be doing glorified archeology and attending classes where I knew three fourth of the mate- There it’s not so hard to pick up your phone!”

Kuroo tried to stifle his laugh so he wouldn’t interrupt the much-desired phone conversation between the brothers.

“What the fuck do you want at ass o’clock?” Akiteru asked, choosing this as the winning phrase to open a phone conversation.

“I know it’s almost one in the morning, but Millie’s giving birth and her vet is busy at the other side of town and I’m gonna need help.”

The streets were pretty much empty at this hour, so it wouldn’t take them much time to get to their destination. They were already halfway there.

“So, what do you want? I can’t come over there, I’m like an hour away.”

“No, I’m not asking you to come here, it’ll be over before you get here, but I need you on the line to help me. _Please_.”

Akiteru heaved a deep, almost dad-like sigh before he replied. “Alright, but I’m gonna need you to call your boss to let her know what’s going on so she can send you someone in backup. I can try to help you, but I’ve also never delivered a lion, believe it or not. Anyway, get over there and then we’ll think about how we’re gonna do this.”

“Okay, I’ll call her and I’ll call you back once I’m with Millie,” Tsukishima said as they arrived to the parking lot, hopping out of the car as he ended the call with his brother and started dialing another number right away. Kuroo got out of the car and locked the doors while Kei talked to his boss, telling her what was happening and what he was about to do.

When Kuroo joined him on the other side of the car, Tsukishima had just said goodbye to his boss and was trying to stuff his phone back into his pocket. He asked Kuroo to follow him with a wave of the hand and he headed for the other side of the parking lot, away from the front gate.

“Wait, where are you going?” Kuroo asked, reluctantly following with a frown on his face.

Kei kept walking and did not look behind himself once. “We have our own entrance, you know. I’m taking you somewhere you have no right to go. I don’t know why I’m taking you there.”

“Emotional support?” Kuroo replied with an awkward smile that was just short of him gritting his teeth.

“Sure,” Kei said sarcastically once he reached the employee’s entrance, unlocking the metal gate with one of the inconspicuous keys he had on his key chain. It creaked when it budged open, and the boys walked in one after the other with a hurried step.

There was another door after that, and when they walked in, they suddenly weren’t in a happy cuddly zoo anymore but in the hallways of a school gymnasium. At least that’s what it looked like.

“What a magical place,” Kuroo commented as they went further and further into the sad gray tunnels.

Tsukishima sighed, playing with the keys in his hands nervously. “I’ll tell my boss you want her to install hardwood floors in the service corridors,” he said, irritated but still willing to have some banter.

They ran for the last meters, Tsukishima throwing the door open as soon as he caught a grip of the handle. They were welcomed by the roars of two lions in a glass room right next to them, and Kuroo would lie if he said he hadn’t feared for his life before he noticed the locked door separating them from the angry felines.

There was one last gate between them and the actual den, between them and Millie. Seikatsu, the security boy at the front desk who had called Tsukishima, was kneeling next to the lion, waving his jacket in her face to give her some cold air. They could see him from the cracks in the gate, wincing every time she made a noise that could be interpreted as hostile.

A huge smile broke on his face when he heard the gate open, and then a frown of confusion appeared when he noticed Kuroo. “Who is that?”

“Emotional support,” Tsukishima replied, rushing to Millie’s side and kneeling so hard in the sand that he probably bruised his knees. “Hi, girl.”

Millie tried to roar in answer, but she was so tired and weak that only a cute squeak came out.

“Shouldn’t you call your brother back?” Kuroo reminded him, afraid to ruin the moment but also afraid that they were wasting time.

Tsukishima looked up at him, blinked, and a second later he had his cellphone in his hands and was dialing for his brother again. He put the phone on speaker and gave it to Kuroo who didn’t know what to do with it at all. He ended up taking his coat off, putting it on the ground and putting the phone down on it. That’s when Akiteru picked up.

“Hi Kei, are you with her now?” He asked, clearly holding back a yawn.

“Yeah, and you’re on speaker,” Kei said as he softly patted Millie’s head, which she seemed to appreciate very much.

“How far along is she?”

“14 weeks yesterday,” Kei replied, asking Seikatsu to move away with a glare so he could crawl to the other side of Millie and assess the state of things without a terrified boy in the way. “And if you were talking about the actual process of birthing, well, nothing’s out yet.”

“Okay, once it starts it’s over pretty quickly, but you’ve got to make sure that she’s having constant contractions or that means something’s wrong.”

Kei wordlessly glanced at Kuroo, making it clear that he was getting aggravated by what he was hearing. Kuroo shrugged with what he hoped came out as compassion.

“And what do I do if there’s something wrong?”

“Well you should have a backup veterinarian with you,” Akiteru replied, as if that was possible right now.

Kei rubbed a hand on his face and collected his emotions before he spoke again. “Aki. You _are_ my backup veterinarian.”

“What kind of zoo do you work at where you don’t have like 20 vets on stand by?”

“Not every vet is 24/7, dumb ass.”

“Apparently not since I’m the only one who has to be,” Akiteru whined, sighing deeply into the phone.

Tsukishima reached for his phone but clenched his fingers into a fist to hold his anger, stopping himself from hanging up on his brother. He had to breathe. This was going to be fine and Akiteru was going to be helpful even though he was kind of grumpy right now.

“What do I do to check if her contractions are normal?” Kei asked in his awfully plastic voice, pretending not to be the absolute ball of anger that he currently was.

“Touch her stomach and tell me if you sometimes feel like the muscles are clenching unnaturally.”

Tsukishima was really trying not to be of bad faith, but he had no clue what was considered normal and what was not. He touched Millie’s stomach anyway, focusing on the way her muscles moved underneath her skin. It certainly felt like her body was trying to push something out.

“I don’t know if I would describe this as unnatural, but there definitely seems to be some muscle clenching.”

“Alright,” Akiteru began with a dry laugh, “is she breathing super hard or does she seem chill about what’s happening?”

“I’d say chill? She doesn’t look happy but she’s very still and calm,” Tsukishima explained as he watched Kuroo petting Millie’s head and making kissy noises at her.

“Okay, because if she’d been breathing hard, you would’ve had to get your hands dirty.”

Kei didn’t even want to think about that. He would if he had to, but he was glad he didn’t have to _now_.

They’d been petting Millie for about 5 minutes, Kei answering to the many questions Akiteru had to ask while Kuroo kept telling Millie that she was a great strong girl, when she pushed on her front paws and roared strangely, her breathing becoming more ragged and her body falling to the side. Seikatsu stood up in a panic and left the room running, leaving Tsukishima and Kuroo to deal with this on their own.

“Oh my God there’s something coming out now,” Kei said as he stared and did not move from where he was kneeling.

“Is it the head? Legs?”

“I don’t know, there’s blood.”

Akiteru sighed again, clearly trying to find a way to shake his brother out of it. “Would you check before the baby dies of asphyxiation?”

“Okay,” Kei said as he moved closer, looking at his ungloved hands with an apologetic expression before he reached to touch whatever that was. “I think that’s the head, and there’s still the amniotic sac around it.”

“Rupture that.”

Kei looked at the miracle of life in front of him, then up at Kuroo, then back down, and back up. “Are you sure?”

“Yes, if you want to get it out,” Akiteru replied, firm like someone who doesn’t want his authority to be discussed. He seemed to be enjoying this in some weird way.

“Goddammit, okay, how do I do that?”

Just when he’d finished saying that, the sac ruptured on its own and a small quantity of fluid poured out of it.

“Okay, it’s done, it’s fine,” Kei exclaimed, reaching to grab the cub again to try and help Millie in any way he could. He didn’t want to pull on the baby and hurt it or the mother, but he didn’t know what else to do with himself. “What do I do now?”

“Is it not coming out more? It should be coming out more.”

That freaked Kei out. No, it wasn’t coming out more. Oh God, why wasn’t it coming out more?

Millie roared in Kuroo’s face again, and then there was a small set of paws out along with the head.

“Oh, it’s coming out a little bit more! There’s paws!”

And then with the paws came full legs, a full body and another set of tiny, tiny baby legs. Kei took his hands away at the request of his brother, watching in awe as Millie stood up, turned around and licked her newborn son’s head.

“Holy shit,” Kei marveled, a dangerously humid sheen appearing in his eyes at that sight.

Kuroo joined him, walking on his knees as quietly as possible so he wouldn’t disturb the mother and son.

“Guys?” Akiteru asked, confused by the sudden silence. “Did it happen?”

“Yeah,” Tsukishima replied in a choked breath, welcoming Kuroo’s arm around his shoulder by melting into his chest.

It was only a little bit later, when Akiteru had gone back to bed and Millie was almost done cleaning the baby that Kei looked up at Kuroo and grinned, a real, full sized happy smile. “Archie kinda grew on me.”

Now Kuroo was the one who was dangerously close to crying.

 

* * *

 

There was the way his face would light up when he saw a dog as they walked together to the store. The way he smiled at him when he stopped holding back. The way he teased him with this knowing smirk, making Kuroo's insides churn with frustration. The way he frowned when he read or became focused on a task. The way his protests were always half-assed, and he always gave up, showing that he was only trying to appear unattached. The way his hands moved, supple and graceful, his fingers overlapping Kuroo's too often for it to be accidental. The way he smirked when he gave a witty reply, that healthy blend of pride and cunning always succeeding to fuck Kuroo up even more. The way he was looking at Archie at that very moment, holding him in his arms and whispering to him until he fell asleep.

Millie was breathing deeply underneath Kuroo, the regularity in the rise and the fall of her thorax showing that she was already asleep. The other two lions roared from the windowed room, but it took one stern glare from Tsukishima to calm them both down.

Rai and Riri had been captured in the wild when they were cubs, bought by a zoo who had been forced to shut down, and saved by the way more humane zoo they now lived in. Rai was Archie's father, and Tsukishima silently hoped that he would not inherit his father's stubbornness and aggressiveness. He would make sure that Archie would become the sweetest of cubs.

"Congrats on becoming a dad," Kuroo joked, resting on Millie as he petted her soft fur.

Kei chuckled, bending down to look at Archie's little face as close as he could. "He's yours too, you named him."

"We're co-dadding, then," Kuroo slurred as he obviously slipped further and further away from consciousness.

Tsukishima let him sleep until the veterinarian showed up, allowing her to check up on Millie without a grown man sleeping on her. When she was done, she took the cub and performed a couple of basic tests on him to make sure that everything was fine, and when she announced that Millie and the baby were perfect and that the boys had done a great job with the delivery, the sun was starting to rise.

They drove back home in silence, stealing glances at each other throughout the entire ride.

 

* * *

 

Halloween was right around the corner, and Oikawa, being himself, had organized a small get together to celebrate this wonderful sacred holiday. His boyfriend would be back in just a couple of weeks, and he knew it would probably be their last chance to hang out as buddies without him ditching everyone halfway through to go to bed with his man.

With his fridge full of wine bottles and his television stand full of liquor bottles, he was ready to give all the alcohol that anyone would need.

Since Halloween fell on a Tuesday, Oikawa decided to have the guys over on Friday as usual, but to turn it into a pretext to celebrate Halloween before the time.

He was just getting back from work when he ran into his landlord at the mail boxes. After they greeted each other with a polite nod, Oikawa stopped on the first step of the stairs and did a 180. You could almost see the light bulb lighting up over his head.

"Tsukishima," he said with a drawl, leaning against the railing nonchalantly. "Hi."

Kei kept going through his mail, frowning at a letter that was probably not his. "Hi," he replied anyway, pulling a pen out of his shirt's pocket and writing something on the envelope.

"I'm having a Halloween party tonight and the refreshments are on me," Oikawa explained with his honeyed voice. "Kuroo will be there."

Tsukishima looked up only when he heard Kuroo's name, hating himself for it as soon as he saw the crass smile on Oikawa's face. "I'm not giving you a pass on the noise complaints just because you warned me."

"I'm not warning you, I'm inviting you," Oikawa said, speaking each syllable with such care that Tsukishima wondered if he was being patronized.

"Okay, and if I wasn't clear enough, I don't really want to be there," Tsukishima replied with the fakest, most condescending smile in the entire world. Even Oikawa could not compete.

"Mmh," Oikawa hummed happily, "alright, but I already told Kuroo you'd be there."

"Why did you do that exactly?"

Oikawa stared at him with his head tilted to the side, tired of these boys being completely oblivious to the efforts he was making. "Because I let you take my car and I had to wait until the next day to see pics of Archie."

Tsukishima blinked at him in total passiveness for a couple of long seconds before he turned around and headed for his place. "That's a strong contender for the dumbest thing I've ever heard."

When Tsukishima disappeared into his apartment, Oikawa was left alone to smirk in the stairway. He was pretty sure the guy would show up.

"Wear a costume!" He yelled, not caring at all if the entire floor heard him.

 

* * *

 

It was barely 7pm when Kuroo walked in Oikawa's apartment with hair rollers on his head and wearing a t-shirt and pajama pants. "Oiks?" He called from the door, waiting for Oikawa to investigate it. He arrived from the hallway that led to his bedroom in a bathrobe.

"What the hell do you have in your hair?" Oikawa asked instead of greeting his friend.

"Why did you tell Tsukishima that you told me he'd be here tonight? We talk, you know?"

He shook his phone in the air, showing the wonderful device that had allowed him to have this talk.

Oikawa grinned proudly. "He's going to be there, right?"

Kuroo scoffed and crossed his arms, annoyed by the way Oikawa would always curve his questions. “I mean, yeah.”

“Good!” Oikawa squealed as he spun on one foot and headed down to his bedroom again. “Get that out of your hair, you look super dumb!”

“If only you knew who I’m gonna be disguised as,” Kuroo mumbled on his way out of Oikawa’s apartment, spinning around just like his friend had done with a grossly fake smile on his face. He was getting into the character as best as he could.

 

* * *

 

Oikawa was angry. He was sitting in the middle of his three-seater sofa with his arms crossed over his Star Trek captain shirt. Kuroo was laughing so hard that there were tears going down his face. He’d succeeded to straighten out his hair a little bit, had borrowed Tsukishima’s old pair of glasses that he didn’t wear anymore and dressed in his cleanest white button-up shirt and most comfortable black pants. Oikawa was the only one who hadn’t been able to guess who he was dressed as.

“I don’t look like that!” He yelled once Bokuto told him who Kuroo was supposed to be.

“Yeah you do,” Tsukishima replied with a shrug.

Oikawa glared at him so hard that it looked like he was putting a mental curse on him. “That was your idea, right?”

Kei smirked, which was rare enough that Kuroo straight up stared. “Who do you think lent the glasses?”

Oikawa was boiling, and it was so, _so_ funny. Bokuto patted his head using his foam hand that had a big #1 printed on it. He was dressed head to toe in sport gear that did not match to achieve a look that he described as “stereotypically straight”. As for Tsukishima, he was just wearing his work clothes and was refusing to say that he was Indiana Jones even though Kuroo had asked him to.

“I’m getting wine,” Oikawa announced as he stood up hastily, bending Bokuto’s foam finger in half.

Bokuto chased him in the kitchen to complain about the unnecessary violence, so Tsukishima and Kuroo ended up alone in the living room. They looked at each other, grinned proudly, and followed along to the kitchen.

Oikawa was just drinking straight from the bottle of white, standing in front of the open refrigerator. Bokuto had taken the foam hand off and was trying to get the finger to stand up straight again. Kuroo blew a raspberry.

“Are your parties usually that awkward?” Tsukishima asked in a voice way too serious for him to be kidding.

Oikawa took the bottle down, inhaled deeply and gave a fake smile. “Get a drink and shut up,” he advised his landlord, passing him to get back to the living room without looking at him.

That’s what they did in silence, each getting a drink and trying not to look at each other for too long since all three of them were literally the smallest push away from laughing at Oikawa for 15 minutes non-stop. When they joined their host in the living room, they’d gotten their imminent hilarity under control. Kuroo sat next to Oikawa, hugging him from the side and laying his head down on his shoulder.

“You know this isn’t an insult, right?” Kuroo asked, suddenly worried.

Oikawa’s shrug felt sharp to Kuroo’s innocent cheek. “It feels like you’re laughing at me and I don’t like that.”

Kuroo smiled like he would at an adorable child who was talking nonsense, so he took his head off Oikawa’s shoulder and grabbed his friend’s face in his hands. “You’re lucky you’re adorable.”

Oikawa tried to keep frowning angrily, but a smile broke on his face and he was suddenly the sun personified. “Stop,” he said, meaning the opposite.

Kuroo laughed and kissed the guy’s forehead, wrapping an arm around his shoulders and holding him close. Tsukishima turned to look at Bokuto who seemed to be as lost as him.

“That usually only happens after a couple of drinks,” he told Tsukishima, sounding like he was concerned about a change in the schedule.

Tsukishima nodded sympathetically and sat on the empty couch that was facing the TV, inviting Bokuto to follow along.

Once they were all sitting with drinks in their hands, talking about pretty much anything without having a breakdown seemed to be a lot easier for Oikawa, and as usual, he carried the conversation pretty easily. They talked about childhood pets, jobs, what they thought the best Star Wars movie was, going from one thing to the other with the help of the drinks in their hands. Instead of going back to the kitchen constantly to fill people’s drinks up, Oikawa brought the bottles of wine to the living room and kept the white he had started, drinking the whole thing without transferring it to a glass. Kuroo knew how this would end, he knew Oikawa’s limits more than the man knew his own.

Oikawa tried to cook Tsukishima with questions, but Tsukishima was not being very difficult. He answered honestly to everything he had to ask, and even gladly when Oikawa asked “Do you have a coworker that you hate?”. The passion in him as he ran the guy who replaced him in the turtle enclosure through the mud was inspiring.

Kuroo turned out to be right about Oikawa’s limits when he stopped talking mid-sentence, stared at the wall in front of him and unexpectedly ran to the bathroom. His three guests looked at each other and pretended they hadn’t seen it coming.

They walked to the bathroom, feeling a little wary about what they were going to find there but refusing to leave Oikawa to himself in there. They found him on the floor with a hand on the toilet seat, staring at the water with all the hatred in his heart.

“Are you okay?” Bokuto asked, wincing as Oikawa started puking while he was still saying the _kay_ of _okay_. “Not okay,” he concluded.

Bokuto joined Oikawa on the floor and started rubbing his back, and something took over Kuroo because he turned around, grinned at Tsukishima and grabbed his wrist.

Bokuto watched them leave with a confused and offended expression, begging them to come back, but they ignored him and stumbled down the hallway.

"Bed," Kuroo moaned as he drifted towards the bedroom, pulling a giggling Tsukishima behind him. They could still hear Oikawa retching in the bathroom from the guest bedroom and Bokuto was yelling at them to come back, but they tumbled down on the bed and everything seemed to suddenly be drowned out.

Kei rolled to his side and stared at the ceiling, and he wasn't laughing anymore but his eyes were shining like a playful child. Kuroo knew he was staring, he always was. It would make him sick to miss any emotion that washed over Tsukki's face, he was mesmerized by everything he did, felt, said, everything.

He'd probably gotten used to it, because it took Kei a while before he sent a questioning gaze Kuroo's way.

"What are you doing?" He asked, his voice way too even and clear for him to be as drunk as Kuroo was. He probably wasn't even drunk at all. Kuroo felt like a piece of shit but, fuck, he couldn't let him slip through his fingers.

"Looking at you," Kuroo replied with a little shrug, too honest and straight forward already but not caring in the least. "You're fascinating."

Kei had a sudden incredulous scoff, taking his gaze to the white emptiness of the ceiling before he frowned and swallowed nervously. All of that had happened so quickly, but Kuroo had caught all of it because he could not stop staring.

"I'm hardly someone to think twice about," Tsukishima muttered, and such a statement forced Kuroo to sit up so his angry glare would have more impact.

"You're so wrong," Kuroo stated, insulted by the mere suggestion of something so absurd. "God, I don't know how often I think about you. Must be at least 20 times a day."

Tsukishima turned his head to the side and glared at Kuroo, truly confused at this point. "What?"

"Did you know that, most of the time, you'll stop smiling abruptly for no apparent reason whenever you do smile?"

Kei raised both eyebrows, inquisitive, so Kuroo kept talking.

"That's unless you're mocking me, of course," he continued with a cheeky grin, which coincidentally died down pretty quickly. "But, yeah, I think about that a lot. I wonder why you do that."

They looked at each other in silence for what felt like minutes but was most likely 10 seconds at best. Kuroo cleared his throat.

"When you're around things and people that you love, you become all soft, and I mean that in the best way. You don't want anyone to notice it, I know."

Kuroo looked aside for the first time since they'd stumbled on that bed, fixedly watching a specific square inch of the bedsheets. "I think about that too."

When Kuroo looked back up, Tsukishima did not look anything like he'd expected. He was mildly amused, maybe a little bit embarrassed, and that was exactly that soft expression that Kuroo had just talked about. He wasn't guarding anything, it was almost like seeing a unicorn.

"You're ridiculous," Kei said, and maybe it was the alcohol in Kuroo's blood making things up, but that sounded dangerously tender. Since nothing had changed in Tsukishima's subtle expression, Kuroo figured that he was imagining things.

Kuroo grinned proudly. "I am," he shamelessly admitted, "and you're fucking gorgeous."

Once again, Tsukishima didn't have any grand reaction that would indicate to Kuroo that he was going too far. His eyes had widened a bit in surprise, but that was the extent of that.

"You're not just calling me nice now, are you?"

Kuroo stared some more, his cheeks warming up at the way Tsukishima smiled softly at him. He was supposed to be the one to make the other feel embarrassed, but he was rendered a useless mess by a goddamn quarter of a smile.

Kuroo stared down at his own lap before he replied, his inhale filling his lungs peacefully as he got himself back together. “No I’m not,” he spoke in a breath.

Tsukishima turned on his side, not leaving Kuroo’s focused gaze as he did so. He wasn’t as sober as Kuroo thought he was and he knew that if he’d been in his right mind, he would’ve never played along like that. He was having fun though, so he decided he would have to care about it later.

Tetsurou smiled down at him, slowly going back to his initial position. They were at eye level now, both on their sides and looking no where but right into each other’s eyes. God, that was a lot to take in.

Kuroo cleared his throat, shut his eyes and scooted closer, just a tiny teeny bit closer. When he opened his eyes again, he couldn’t keep the question away any longer.

“Can I kiss you?” He asked in a breathy whisper, taking the other by surprise if he could tell by the soft gasp that escaped Kei’s lips.

And that’s when the alarm started blaring in Tsukishima’s head, saying _this has gone far enough already_. He thought about his first rule while his dumb drunk brain tried to slip in some fucking Dua Lipa lyrics in there to scramble his thoughts. He didn’t kiss people. He didn’t share intimacy with people. He did not do that. Ever.

“No,” he blurted out, instantly regretting the bluntness of his answer when he saw how sad Kuroo’s eyes had gotten. “I’m sorry, I just… I don’t do that.”

Kuroo tried to say something, stopped, tried again and finally gave up. He obviously didn’t understand what was going on and what that was about.

“I mean, I don’t like anything that’s too intimate, it’s not your fault,” Tsukishima tried to explain, but Kuroo still had that sad air on his face that he just wished he could scrub away.

“Yeah, maybe with all the other guys that you just sleep with, but that’s not… unless I’ve been getting this wrong for 2 months? Is that all you want me to be?”

Kei glared at Kuroo, waiting for him to apologize or leave or start crying or do anything other than lie there and stare at him. He could not believe what he was hearing.

“What do you mean, _all the other guys_?”

That’s when Kuroo realised that he’d fucked up. He was finally reacting and getting ready to explain himself and apologize, but he already knew that it was too late.

Kei scoffed dryly, rolling on his back and glaring at the pure white of the ceiling that was starting to drive him mad. “Is that also something you incessantly think about? How many guys I’ve fucked?”

“Okay, now that’s putting words in my mouth,” Kuroo replied, but he’d never seen that much anger on Kei’s face and that alone shut him up.

Tsukishima got out of the bed without speaking another word, standing with his back to Kuroo and digging his nails in his arms. He did not speak, did not move, and Tetsurou was trying to make himself as small as possible. He hated himself so much.

“Stop making out in there and come help me, I think Oiks is dying,” Bokuto called from the bathroom, making them jump out of their skins.

Tsukishima took a shaking breath before he left for the bathroom. “I’ll take care of it,” he said, his words meaning so much more behind that. _Don’t follow me. Go home. Don’t speak to me. I can’t stand to see you right now._

So Kuroo waited for Kei to get to the bathroom before he crawled out of the bed and sneaked out of the apartment. He walked to the door of his own place and took the handle in his hand, but he didn’t turn it. It was probably ice cold on the roof at this hour of the night.

Deciding that he did not deserve to be comfortable anyway, he left for the roof.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow why don't I take my own heart out of my chest and spit on it before I set it on fire
> 
> How's that for "wild"?  
> Tell me everything
> 
> I'm on [twitter](https://twitter.com/megabitch2001) and [tumblr](http://sandgoddess.tumblr.com) because a girl gets lonely


	10. Lion

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Aaaaand we're back to posting in the middle of the night!! Hi my night gremlins!
> 
> I am so sorry for what I am about to do  
> rip in peace everyone

“Do you think I sleep with too many people?”

Yamaguchi looked up from his cellphone in one second of pure confusion before he went back to his device, scrolling down whatever website he was on. “No. Why would you think that?”

Tsukishima tried to shrug casually, but it wasn’t something that he was really used to do so it came out looking very fake. He knew that it was obvious by the way Yamaguchi was side-eyeing him judgementally as he pretended to still be focused on his phone.

“I don’t know,” Tsukishima replied, bringing his wine glass to his lips, “I’ve just been thinking about that lately.”

Yamaguchi decided he had to put his phone down at that moment, moving from sitting on the floor next to Kei’s legs to sitting on the couch next to him. “It’s okay if you think you do, but how long has it been since the last time, like, 3 or 4 months? You’re practically a virgin again.”

Tsukishima scoffed despite himself, amused by his friend’s faulty logic. “Sure.”

“Anyway, I don’t think there’s such a thing,” Yamaguchi added with a nonchalant tilt of the head, “I’m all for sexual freedom, you know that.”

Tsukishima cleared his throat and wiggled a little bit so he would sit straighter, and it all came out as the personification of discomfort. “I know,” he choked out, “but there’s always a point when, you know, it’s too much.”

“What’s gotten into you?” Yamaguchi asked, latching onto Kei’s arm and shaking him softly. “Come on. I love you, but I’m confused.”

Tsukishima did not speak, he just stared at the television in front of them and blinked calmly. Yamaguchi let him go, sighing as he fell backwards on the couch and spread out his limbs outside of the couch and on top of his friend’s legs.

“No, seriously, for a guy who hasn’t had any in months to say things like this, it’s almost… suspicious.”

Tsukishima fought the urge to give Yamaguchi a panicked look that would’ve just given him away. It wasn’t so weird for him to ask something like this. It was normal and natural to have concerns about things like these and it was healthy to come to your best friend with them. Yamaguchi had spent their entire high school careers wishing that they would talk and open up more to each other, and now that Tsukishima was doing it, it was “suspicious”? Wow.

“You don’t need to understand,” Kei said, very curt and straightforward. Yamaguchi frowned at him, but he kept his lips shut, bringing his phone back to the forefront of his attention.

He could only be sure that they were okay and that nothing was awkward between them when Yamaguchi started jabbing his toes into Tsukishima’s thigh, getting an irritated glare and a restrained smile out of him every single time he did it.

 

* * *

 

Kuroo was laying down on his poor excuse of a couch on top of chocolate bar wrappers, countless crumbs and old dirty clothes. It looked worse than it was, really. This was a week’s worth of mess that he was resting on, not a day’s. It was his first day off since Oikawa’s party, so he was only taking the time to realise the sadness of his settings now.

Bokuto had just came through the door when Kuroo propelled himself in the air and started throwing everything off the couch and onto the floor, convinced in some lacking part of his brain that this would look better somehow. Bokuto never cared about a mess anyway, but it felt strangely inhuman for Kuroo to accept that someone else could gaze at this abstract representation of his state of mind without trying to do something about it first. The trash scattered around the place did paint a pretty good picture of what was going on in Kuroo’s head.

“Dude, I’ve been texting you for 2 hours,” Bokuto said as he walked into the living room and gave Kuroo a stern look. Kuroo was sitting on the floor, surrounded by his pile of garbage.

“Okay,” Kuroo replied, closing his fist around a pair of sweatpants that he’d worn the day before.

Bokuto put his hands on his hips, only accentuating the angry mom look he had going on. “So? What were you doing?”

“I was gaming,” Kuroo answered, accentuating the syllables to show his discomfort. “My phone is over there, I didn’t check it, sorry.”

He was pointing to his island counter, but Bokuto refused to look.

“Why do you look like a miserable lady who just got broken up with in a bad romcom?”

Kuroo stared up at his best friend, keeping his lips shut and letting the silence speak for him. They both looked ridiculous, staying still with their eyes boring into each other’s. They quickly started wondering if they should say something, but they did not, so they ended up frowning suspiciously in silence.

Eventually, they got tired of that and Kuroo broke the eye contact, standing up from the floor and stumbling backwards on his couch. He then let out an awfully long whine of endless suffering.

“Hey, what’s wrong?” Bokuto asked as he rushed to his side, ever caring and tender. Sometimes, Kuroo got this weird mental image of Bokuto’s head on a teddy bear with muscles, and it made his heart feel alright.

Tetsurou brought both of his hands to his face and proceeded to groan in them and let them fall abruptly into his lap. “I haven’t seen Tsukishima in a week because I tried to kiss him and he didn’t want to.”

“Wait, a week?” Bokuto said with a light-hearted tilt of the head. “So you _were_ actually making out in there? Oh God, I’m so sorry!”

“No we weren’t,” Kuroo whined, sounding like he was close to tears which was a little bit dramatic, “that’s the thing. I got caught in the moment, so I asked if I could but he said no.”

Bokuto inhaled through his teeth, a pained expression painted on his face. “Oh, so you actually wanted to kiss him for real?”

“Yeah,” Kuroo admitted while he blinked an abusive number of times, obviously overwhelmed by the thought of it. “I still do. All the fucking time.”

“Really?”

Kuroo scoffed, keeping his gaze on the floor and sighing happily to himself. “Of course, I mean, who wouldn’t?”

Bokuto shrugged and took a second to actually think about it before he replied. “Me,” he said with all the naïve honesty in the world.

“Well, you have a boyfriend,” Kuroo huffed with an annoyed wave, as to dismiss Bokuto’s opinions forever for that reason only.

“I do,” Bokuto replied with a self-satisfied grin.

Kuroo looked at his friend’s smiling face with disdain. “Brag about it.”

Bokuto stumbled around all the words he had tried to say at once, glaring at Kuroo with an angry confusion that was still way too friendly. “You said it!”

Tetsurou rolled his eyes and puffed air out condescendingly, and Bokuto had never liked this kind of attitude, so it gave him the drive to be curter.

“So, what? He turned you down one time and now you’re sulking? Who are you?”

Kuroo suddenly felt very small, so he curled up on one cushion of the couch and hugged his legs against his chest. “There might’ve been a misunderstanding.”

Bokuto’s stern look was back, and his disappointed energy made Kuroo feel sorry for any kids he might have one day. “I don’t like the sound of that,” he said before he let out a long sigh that gave Kuroo flashbacks of his own mother.

“I was kind of an asshole,” Kuroo stammered as quickly as possible. He did not anticipate having to explain in _what way_ he had been an asshole, so he was trying to rip off the band-aid.

“Because he said no!?” Bokuto yelled, looking as though he was ready to throw some hands with his very best friend.

Kuroo uncurled his body in a beat, propping himself on his knees and shaking his hands in Bokuto’s face to get that idea out of his head. “No! No, no, God no. He just said… he told me he didn’t do that. And I was like, yeah okay sure, maybe you don’t with randos you pick up, but I’m not trying to be a one-night stand. That surprisingly wasn’t what I should’ve said.”

Bokuto frowned, confused by what was so bad about that. “Why?”

“The assumption of promiscuity wasn’t a winning technique, I think.”

That seemed to clear things up for Bokuto who nodded vigorously, his expression turning to a compassionate grimace. “Yeah, that makes sense.”

“In my defense,” Kuroo started, and he already hated himself for saying that, “I was drunk.”

“But wait,” Bokuto jumped in with an vexed finger up in the air, “that happened a week ago and I’m only hearing about it now? Does Oiks know?”

“Oh dear God, no,” Kuroo replied with round eyes, his soul jumping out of his body for a second.

Bokuto frowned ridiculously intensely again, and with the brows that guy had, it made him look really worried. That could be very funny, but Kuroo was not in a mood to laugh about anything right now. “Why can’t you tell him?” he asked innocently.

“You know him,” Kuroo began after heaving a defeated sigh, “he’s either going to force me to go down there and talk to him, or worse, he’s going to go there himself and make things even harder to fix.”

“Yeah, I guess,” Bokuto accepted with a shrug. “What are you gonna do though?”

“I’m waiting. I don’t know.”

“You’ve been waiting for a week already and it hasn’t fixed much of anything,” Bokuto sassed airily and then pretended like he didn’t deserve the offended glare he got in response to that. “What? You think sitting in your garbage is going to help?”

“I know it won’t, but thank you,” Tetsurou replied before he pulled his tongue at his best friend. “I just… I wonder if I should even do anything. Maybe it’s better like this. Maybe this time we’ll get back to the professional politeness we had going on before all of this happened and we’ll stick to that.”

Bokuto gave him the dirtiest look Kuroo had gotten in his life and it shocked him so much that he started feeling dirty himself.

“What?” he squeaked in shame.

“You really think you guys had a—” Bokuto opened air quotes “—a professional politeness—” and then closed air quotes “—going on? From what I’ve heard, you two were either willing to fight or about ready to eat each other’s face in Oikawa’s bed.”

Kuroo tilted his head on the side as he shrugged, finding no other way to justify himself. “Okay, sure,” he gave in half-heartedly, “but I also saw him many times just to give him money or get groceries and it always went fine.”

“You mean like that time when you almost got a boner because he touched your hair too much? That went very well.”

Kuroo gasped at his friend like he could not believe the things that were being brought up on this fine day. The truth was, he knew that he deserved to have it thrown back into his face, but he had not prepared for that today.

“That’s not the same thing! He made me diner and cut my hair!”

Bokuto nodded in pretend-sympathy. “You’re right, that _is_ very professional.”

Kuroo was running out of ways to make this sound good, so he slapped both of his hands on his face and let out a long whine into them. “Shut up,” he pleaded, begging for some mercy out of the man of his life.

Bokuto had a small satisfied smile to himself before he got serious again. “I think you’re only saying that because you haven’t seen him in a while, but if he walked in right now, it would be haircut-boner all over again.”

“Why are you my best friend again?” Kuroo asked as he tried a peak through his fingers.

Bokuto grinned wide enough to cause harm to an unprepared soul and shrugged softly. He watched with an almost sick smile as Kuroo sobbed pathetically.

“Maybe your only solution is to move out,” Bokuto offered, acting like he thought that was an actual possible solution for the situation Kuroo was in.

“Yeah right,” Kuroo replied with a scoff.

“Talk to him, then.”

Kuroo bit his lip and looked down at the floor. He had meant to walk down the stairs and knock on Tsukishima’s door everyday since Halloween, but he always succeeded to make himself think that he would only make things worse. He never got the courage to actually do it, he couldn’t even do it with a pretext. He hadn’t gotten any mail for him in the last week and he wasn’t getting paid until a couple of days, so he had no money to give him either. He also had no idea what to say.

“I can’t. How can I explain myself? Like, _yeah no I wasn’t actually shaming your lifestyle, I’m just so fucking jealous of anyone who gets to be with you that I act like an ass but I swear I’m not that bad?_   No, not doing that.”

Bokuto seemed to be worried for real now. “Are you in that deep already?”

“What do you mean?”

Then, Bokuto pulled out his cellphone, but he kept a suspiciously strong eye contact with Kuroo as he unlocked it and started selecting options.

Kuroo was not a serial dater, at least not to his standards. He’d had a couple of relationships in the past years, some serious and some much less, but they had all left their own little scar on him. It’s like he liked getting hurt, always picking people who wanted him until a certain point in their lives and then had no problem dropping him like dead weight. He’d spent so many nights on the phone with Kenma, laying his heart open and asking so many questions that his poor friend would never be able to answer. Why do they all leave me? What am I doing wrong? How can you keep two guys? Are you a witch?

He knew Kenma was doing damage control early now, and that’s how he connected the dots. He had probably asked Bokuto to warn him of any dangerous development that could get Kuroo to turn into a whiny mess that calls at 1 am to ask his level of attractiveness on a scale of 1 to 10.

“No. Bo. Drop your phone. Don’t do that. Bo- I’m fucking begging you!”

“He needs to know!” Bokuto yelled for all the building to hear, moving away from Kuroo’s stretched hands and rolling off the couch. “You’ll get your ass kicked!”

Kuroo followed him on the floor, crawling towards him as he tried to leap for the phone, but Bokuto dodged every single time. “I swear, if you tell Ken I’m promoting him to best friend and you downgrade to friend.”

“You wouldn’t dare,” Bokuto replied, squinting at Kuroo as if he did dare him to do it.

“You’re right,” Kuroo admitted even though it was painful, “but please don’t do it. Please.”

Bokuto still had his phone safely in his hands, but he was keeping wary of Kuroo and his swift moves. As he still guarded his precious device in his hands, he gave Kuroo a nasty look. “You swear that you’ll tell him eventually?”

“Yeah,” Kuroo answered with an energetic nod, “when I get over it in a week and realise that I’d been overreacting like I always do.”

Bokuto still wasn’t so sure that he could trust Kuroo so he scooted away from him a little bit more. “Bro, the thing is, I don’t think you’re overreacting,” he said sincerely, getting a puzzled look out of Kuroo. “I’ve seen you get all crazy about Yuki and Kirei and Daph… it wasn’t like that at all.”

Kuroo sat cross-legged on the floor, looking from one side to the other, feeling lost. “What are you trying to say?”

“I’m saying that… for once you were, I don’t know, acting normally instead of declaring your love three weeks after you met him. I think it’d be a shame to let this one go to waste when you were doing so well, that’s all.”

Tetsurou blinked repeatedly in silence, contemplating his whole existence in half a minute. “That’s assuming that I even had a shot,” he said doubtfully.

“You still do bro, I’m sure you do,” Bokuto claimed encouragingly as a calm smile stretched on his lips.

“That’s a nice sentiment,” Kuroo responded sarcastically, “thank you.”

“You can be as negative as you want, but I know you’re still hopeful,” Bokuto declared as he stood up from the floor and dusted off his pants.

Kuroo had a snide smirk. “Who said I was hopeful?”

“Your face did.”

Bokuto winked before he headed for the door, laughing lightly when he felt Kuroo’s gaze follow him around the room. “We’ll be having diner at the izakaya on the corner in 30 minutes if you care to join us, lover boy.”

He left like he came in, without proper greetings or general manners, but it made Kuroo smile.

 

* * *

 

Kei got home at 6pm on November 11th, unlocking the door to his apartment and stepping on something soft when he walked inside his home. An enveloppe on the floor, crushed under his foot, got a confused squint out of him. He shouldn't even have wondered what it was, there was only one thing it could be.

He opened it and found money and a small piece of paper with "1/3" written on it. He wouldn't allow himself to figure out why that made him feel so miserable.

He had promised himself that he would go up and talk to the guy right after he came back from work, but that had been three days ago and now he was slidding money underneath his door, so clearly Tsukishima had forgotten to do that (or had chickened out). He didn't know why he had to be the bigger man anyway. Kuroo had been the insensitive one. It shouldn't be too difficult for him to own up to it, Kei was sure.

There wasn't much he needed to do that night. His brother had asked him if they could chat, but Kei had promised his mother that he would call her tonight. Talking with his family took so much energy out of him that he did not see how he could squeeze two conversations in one evening, but his plan was to find a way to make it fit. They couldn't have such important things to tell him anyway, so they wouldn't have to speak for a long time.

After the usual polite talk with his mom that he tried to have every week was over, he started making diner and tried not to think about how he still had to call his brother. It wasn't that he didn't want to talk to him, but the overhanging thought of having to call someone had always made him feel uneasy.

He distracted himself with cooking, eating, cleaning, listening to music and checking his phone, but when the looming anxiety felt like it was about to grab him by the shoulders, he dialed his brother's number and waited.

As he had thought, it was a normal call and they had a typical talk. Akiteru was always desperately trying to catch up with his little brother even though he knew perfectly well that all he would ever answer to "what's up?" was "nothing much". They rarely left these conversations feeling enlightened.

But as soon as he hung up, his phone rang in his hand, getting a small jump out of him. He picked up instantly, recognizing the number of the front desk at the zoo.

"Tsukishima-san, hi, it's Seikatsu here, huh. They asked me not to call you because they don't know what happened yet but I don't think that's very fair to you... hum, yeah, so, sorry."

Seikatsu cleared his throat, and Kei got worried. _What happened?_   What did he mean by that?

"What are you talking about, Seikatsu?"

"I've been trying to contact you for 15 minutes because, huh, Millie was sleeping and I knew it was... weird because she can't sleep with Archie in the same room since he gets all over her, so I sent someone to check and... this is awful, okay, I'm sorry, God I can't believe I'm saying this, but she wasn't responsive. They still can't wake her up. There's like three vets here and I think I heard the boss cry, I mean, that can't be good."

He stared at the wall. His fingers became loose around the phone, and he stared at the wall.

"Tsukishima-san?"

"Yes?" He replied in a voice that did not belong to him.

"I don't know what's going on, they're taking her out now but I think... I think she's dead. I don't know what happened."

Seikatsu's voice was low like a whisper, constantly telling a secret that could get him into trouble. It was the perfect voice to say these things with. It felt like it could soften the blow, if such a thing was even possible. It wasn't, not now.

The phone finally fell from Tsukishima's grip, having lost all of the contact points necessary to fight gravity.

The dormant rage in him was trying to erupt out of him, but it did not seem to have a way out. It only left him swelled up with a fire that had every inch of his body shaking, and he had to force his eyes shut so he could stop seeing the curtain of tears being pulled over his eyes. He rarely cried, usually tried not to. When he did, it was more like a calm river on the edge of his bottom lid. Now they were glossy waterfalls, but they were still contained, waiting for the dam to break.

He could hear his name coming from the floor, Seikatsu still trying in vain to reach out to him. He knew that, in a dream, realising that you were dreaming rarely ever happened, but he still could not convince himself that the present situation was possible out of an imaginary realm. Only the uncanny details of real life, like an undesirable voice not moving on to other things at the same pace as everything else, kept him from hopping too hard that this wasn't real life.

As he stood there, holding his eyes shut and swaying from the disorienting loss of one of his senses, Seikatsu gave up and hung up the phone. There was nothing to do for a couple of minutes after that. There was no where to go to, no move to make; there was only standing straight and keeping his eyes shut.

Slowly, he followed his phone's path and sat on the floor, opening his painful eyes to blurry surroundings. He didn't feel real. The floor underneath him felt like it was swallowing him in, and Tsukishima really wished that it could.

They weren't even going to tell him. They would've waited until he'd show up at work the next morning only for him to find an empty cage and a lonely cub. There was no reason for this to be happening, none at all.

He sat and waited for time to pass, begging to wake up and put an end to this, but he was painfully aware of his consciousness. Even in dreams, there wasn't a pain like this.

 

* * *

 

Kuroo had decided earlier that he wouldn’t be bothering Tsukishima today, but the more he thought about it, the more he convinced himself that he was coming off as passive-aggressive, which was not the intended goal at all. He sat for a couple of minutes as he collected his energy, suddenly leaping from his couch and leaving for the first floor, brushing against corners and walls in his haste. There was light underneath Tsukishima’s door, so he probably was home now.

Kuroo knocked, but his brain told his other hand to do something else and he ended up opening the door at the same time as he knocked. He took an instant to ponder what was wrong with him before he walked in his landlord’s apartment with an apologetic greeting left in the air.

It was eerily quiet and strangely dark once he had walked past the ceiling light in the hallway.

“Tsukki?” he called out, getting no answer.

The bathroom door was open, so that’s not where he was. The kitchen was pitch black. He followed the hallway to the living room where a single floor lamp had been turned on at the far end of the room.

Kuroo did a double take when he saw Tsukishima sitting on the floor, looking straight at the wall with empty eyes. He did not react to Kuroo’s presence in any way.

“Tsukki?” Kuroo called again, hopping to get a reaction this time. Still nothing.

He didn’t even know what he was doing there. He’d let himself in, still acting on impulses, and he was not prepared for what he had found waiting for him. He crouched down next to Kei once he’d approached him slowly like he would’ve with a wild animal.

“Tsukishima?”

Kei blinked, but it still felt like there was a wall between them that prevented him from hearing Kuroo’s voice. His body was working on autopilot, but there was nothing else happening. He was lost in his head.

Feeling a bit spooked, Kuroo softly put his hand on Kei’s shoulder and moved it ever so slightly. “Kei?” he asked, watching with relief when he finally turned to look at him. His eyes shone like headlights in the night and Kuroo felt the itchiest urge of his life to just hold him close and shush him.

“Kuroo,” Kei gasped out, his bottom lip starting to shake the second the name escaped his lips.

“Hey,” Kuroo replied sweetly, smiling to soothe him before he’d ask what was wrong. “I came by earlier but you weren’t there. Why are you on the floor?”

Kei’s gaze was very strong and very hard to hold, but Kuroo did it because he couldn’t stand the thought of making him feel like he was being let down. No answer to his question ever came.

Kuroo could stop mentally begging to hold him when Kei’s forehead came in contact with his shoulder. He eagerly put his arm around him and moved closer, allowing more than just the guy’s forehead to touch him. “Hey, what’s wrong?”

“I-,“ Kei croaked out, shaking his head from left to right. He didn’t have any words, there was no way to say this.

There was no good in staying on the floor, so Kuroo helped Tsukishima up and dragged him along to his bedroom. Once they were there, Kuroo let himself be directed and accepted to sit with his back to the headboard, keeping Tsukishima to his side while his head was resting on his chest. It wasn’t like that time on the roof when he felt guilty for tricking Kei into a cuddle session, because now he was the one who needed it and had asked for it so candidly, even without words.

They didn’t do much for about 15 minutes, Kei crying on and off and Kuroo running his fingers through his hair. He did want to know what had happened very much, but the most important thing to him at this very moment was to make Tsukishima feel calm and safe.

It was almost 8pm when Kuroo noticed that he hadn’t heard any sniffling for a good ten minutes, so he took his fingers away from Kei’s hair and started gently doting them all over his arm. That got a small sigh that almost sounded like a laugh out of him.

“It’s fine if you don’t want to tell me, but is there a way that I can help?” Kuroo asked, keeping his voice down to keep their bubble intact.

“You’re helping right now,” Tsukishima whispered, doing the same tapping thing with his fingers on Kuroo’s stomach.

Their silence after that was not as comfortable as it had been before, Kuroo’s hidden curiosity hanging over them and Kei’s feeling that he should probably be telling him keeping him from letting his mind drift off.

Tsukishima took a deep breath, let it out slowly and cleared his throat. “It’s… Millie.”

He could feel Kuroo move to sit straighter under him, obviously a little bit confused from the missing parts of this statement. He wasn’t outright asking for clarifications because he wasn’t the pushy type, but Kei could tell that he wanted them.

“Seikatsu called me earlier, she… they took her away, he says she’s dead.”

Kuroo’s tapping motion against Kei’s arm stopped abruptly as a short gasp came out of him like his breath had been cut in half. Tsukishima kept quiet, clenching his hand around the fabric of Kuroo’s t-shirt. He felt the tears coming again and he was starting to get a headache.

“Wh- what happened?”

Kei shrugged, not trusting himself to speak.

“Do you want to go over there?” Kuroo asked, well-meaning.

“No,” Kei replied, shaking his head a couple of times. “Sei called me but he wasn’t supposed to tell me. I don’t want to get him into trouble.”

Kuroo did that _I’m-confused-and-am-missing-some-information_ wiggle again. “So they’re not gonna tell you? They still haven’t called?”

“Yeah,” Kei said, his voice dying just as he said it. “I guess they’re busy and they don’t consider telling me as a priority. I get it, I’ve only been taking care of her and training her since the day she was born, no big deal.”

Kuroo was about to tell him about how it was normal to feel this way, that it wasn’t fair, but he had woken him up and now there didn’t seem to be any way to make him stop talking.

“I really do get it, I wouldn’t call me either if I was them. It’s probably my fault, I should’ve noticed that something was going on but I just attributed everything to the fact that she’d just given birth and now she’s dead because of me.”

Kuroo glared at him with fire in his eyes, pushing him to the side so he could look him in the eyes. “What the hell are you saying? We still don’t know what happened, don’t you dare put the blame on yourself like that. Nobody else noticed anything strange, did they? You’re not the only fucking person who works there. That’s not on you at all.”

Tsukishima buried his face into Kuroo’s shirt as soon as he felt the tears rise up again, deciding that it was better to cry there than in plain sight. Kuroo sighed and started petting his head again, feeling like an asshole for lacking tact and making him cry again.

“I’m sorry,” he spoke so tenderly, bending down to kiss the top of Kei’s head. That was usually something he did to Oikawa, which made him realize how often he had had to console him in the past. This was a nice change, but only when you ignored the event that caused it.

“Could you distract me?” Tsukishima asked, and every word he said was muffled by the way his face was pressed to Kuroo’s body.

“Okay,” Tetsurou agreed right away, moving to hold Kei in a way that would frame him more and pull him closer. “Would you like to hear about my day? It was boring and disgusting.”

“Sure,” Kei said, always ready to hear boring and disgusting things.

“So I woke up at noon because I’ve been working all week and filing paperwork for my promotion every night and I was tired as shit. I got up, ate old cake for breakfast, didn’t even take a shower and played video games until 5, and then Bo came over to sass me out. It seems that I haven’t been super… alert, since, well… Halloween.”

Tsukishima tilted his head down and huffed in annoyance.

“That’s why I was coming here tonight. I wanted to talk, apologize… I’ve been feeling like shit, I never realized how much time I was spending with you and I… I missed you.”

Kei was taking deep breath after deep breath, as if he could never get enough air into his lungs. Kuroo figured that this was stressing him out, so he wracked his brain to find a way to back away from this.

“I missed you too,” Kei whispered in an exhale, putting an end to the mess that was happening between Kuroo’s ears.

Tetsurou’s smile was as spontaneous as it was pure. “You did?”

Tsukishima nodded his head yes as he hummed affirmatively. He had been expecting him every night of the week, waiting for him to show up and fix his mess. He could never be what Kuroo wanted him to be, but he was slowly warming up to the idea of letting his guard down and allowing someone to treat him with decency. He’d only started having casual sex once he’d broken up with the only boyfriend he'd ever had, who he did not even _like_ , much less love, and he did it to mend his scars and find something to focus on other than what he had endured. The wounds weren’t so fresh anymore, and letting people use him wasn’t doing much for him now, if it ever did.

“Yes,” he affirmed, propping himself up on his elbow and staring up at Kuroo’s face.

Kuroo shared the eye contact, briefly choked on his own saliva and found no way to look cool after that, so he just grinned dumbly.

“Can I take you up on your offer?” Tsukishima asked, scooting closer on the bed so their faces would be at the same height. He grabbed Kuroo’s face on either sides and fanned his fingers, the tips of his pointer and ring finger disappearing into Kuroo's hair.

There were no sounds coming from Kuroo, only eyes round with shock staring back at him.

Tsukishima had not kissed anyone in years and he had not kissed anyone intentionally since he was 18 years old. Being the one to kiss first was going to feel so weird, but he actually wanted to do it and that had never happened to him, so he wasn’t going to waste the opportunity.

 Carefully, he moved closer and barely smiled, but it was enough to make the way he was looking at Kuroo much softer. He exhaled shakily, closed his eyes and went for it, feeling a rush of _something_ when their lips met.

At first, Kuroo was frozen in place, but once the surprise passed, his hands found the back of Kei’s neck and he was kissing back harder than he ever had in his life. He had been yearning for this, he had been feeling like shit for a week because he hadn’t gotten this, and now he had it… but something was off.

Kei knew that he wasn’t doing this for the right reason, at least half of him wasn’t. He was awfully sad, majorly fucked up, and he needed a way to let that out. He really did like Kuroo, he was realizing this now, but what he liked most in the moment was the distraction he was giving him.

They moved away to breathe a little bit, and even though Kuroo knew it wasn’t right, he went back for another kiss, trying to make himself believe that they were both on the same track about this. When he couldn’t lie to himself anymore, he pushed Kei away and stared fixedly at his own lap.

“I can’t do this,” Kuroo decided, letting his hands fall flat from Kei’s shoulders. “I don’t think you would be doing this if you weren’t so sad and that doesn’t sit well with me. That’s not you.”

Tsukishima frowned at him, alarmed at being found out but desperately trying to hide it. He watched as Kuroo stood up from the bed and walked to the other side of the room, getting dangerously close to the door.

“I’m sorry, I just don’t… I hate myself for leaving you alone, but I just can’t do that right now.”

And with that, he walked out the door and left. Kei stayed where he was, sitting in the middle of the bed. He didn’t know what he should be sad about anymore, there was too much to choose from.

That night, he only ended up falling asleep because he was exhausted from crying for hours.

 

* * *

 

Yamaguchi was rubbing his hand on Tsukishima’s back, sitting next to him on a couch in a corner of the coffee house they liked to visit when they had a day off. Yamaguchi had not expected his friend’s call that morning, but when he heard what had happened, he would’ve done anything to see Tsukki before he had to go to work.

“So you’re gonna have to pretend that you didn’t know?” Yamaguchi asked with one doubtful eyebrow standing higher than the other.

Kei rolled his eyes and casted a look at the rest of the coffee house. “I guess.”

“Are you gonna be okay or do you want me to come with you?”

Yamaguchi was so sweet and helpful sometimes that Tsukishima forgot about the bad things in life. “No, it’s fine, I have to do this myself.”

His best friend kept rubbing his back with a firm hand, feeling a bit useless and trying to make up for it.

“You look like shit,” Yamaguchi said lovingly, watching Kei with tender eyes framed by a worried dent in the middle of his eyebrows.

“I slept like shit,” Kei explained, tilting his head on the side to give it more intensity. It was probably the first time in his life that he had woken up feeling worse than if he hadn’t gone to bed at all. “It wouldn’t have been so bad if I only had Millie to think about.”

“What do you mean?”

Tsukishima threw his head back and rested it on the top of the couch. It was hard and uncomfortable, but he could not look at Yamaguchi in the eyes right now. “Kuroo, the-“

“Yes,” Yamaguchi interrupted, tired of that redundant exposition each and every time the guy was mentioned, “I know, the guy from 21. What did he do?”

Tsukishima shut his eyes and clenched his jaw. “A week ago, we were drunk, and he asked if he could kiss me and I said no.”

“You said no,” Yamaguchi repeated, trying to get this absurdity into his head. God, if that had been him… better not think about that right now. “And I’m hearing about this a week later? Wow, okay.”

Tsukishima sat properly again just so he could glare at Yamaguchi. “I was confused, alright? I didn’t really want to talk about it.”

“And you do now? What’s changed?”

“Yesterday, when I got the news, he showed up to talk but I was all messed up so he took me to my bedroom and-“

“You _slept_ with him!?” Yamaguchi exclaimed at an inacceptable tone of voice at this hour of the morning in a busy coffee house. Tsukishima sent a freezing cold look to anyone who stared at them strangely, and that dissuaded most of them to continue.

“ _No_ ,” Kei answered, spitting it out like venom. “Why would you think that my first instinct, _while I am mourning_ , is to fuck my tenant?”

“I don’t know, it sounded like you were gonna say that!” Yamaguchi retorted, trying to defend himself but failing miserably in the eyes of his best friend. “What happened then?”

Tsukishima sighed angrily, casting another cold look around the room to insure that everyone knew what he was about, making sure that no one was paying too much attention to them before he replied. “He was just… really sweet,” he started, instantly failing to seem unaffected. “I was a crying mess and he held me until I calmed down. For some reason, I thought it would be a good idea to start kissing him right then and there.”

“And what? He didn’t like that?”

Kei looked down at the floor and didn’t say anything right away. He knew that Kuroo was right, this wasn’t him at all. This was ridiculous, he was being disgustingly ridiculous.

“He said that I wasn’t doing it for the right reasons. I told him before that I don’t do intimacy, so he didn’t think that was very _me_.”

Yamaguchi scoffed dryly, amused by what he seemed to think was just silly.

“And he was right,” Kei ended, pulling hard on his fingers to get his nervousness out of his system.

“But you wanted to do it, didn’t you? You wouldn’t do something like that just because you’re upset. You would’ve kissed me many times if that was the case.”

Yamaguchi winked when he finished talking, getting the smallest hint of a smile out of his best friend.

Tsukishima looked up to the ceiling, irritated by the general state of his life and all the emotions that he had to stuff in it. “Yes,” he conceded, remembering the feeling of contentment that had taken over him when he had finally kissed Kuroo. He wouldn’t mind feeling that again.

“Good, then you tell him that,” Yamaguchi said with a playful shrug, as if nothing in life was easier than this.

Tsukishima ran his hands in his face and through his hair, his anxiety vigorously moving through his body just by thinking of the shame he would feel while having that conversation. He knew that it was necessary though, he couldn’t leave it like that and let someone else pick it up.

“Yeah, after work,” he said to himself, but he knew that it would make Yamaguchi happy to hear it. “Speaking of work, I should get going.”

“Be strong for me,” Yamaguchi requested as he watched him stand from the couch and put his coat back on.

After a deep sigh, Kei gave him a sharp nod. “Yeah. I’ll text you.”

Once he was out of the coffee house, Tsukishima remembered that he would soon have to pretend that he did not know about Millie, and then he would have to spend all day thinking about what he was going to tell Kuroo. This wasn’t going to be one of his best days.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 'tis the season to be killing animals!
> 
> I second guessed myself so many times as I wrote this, I wasn't sure if it was the right move to make it this sad and this angsty but, I mean, I've been thinking of this chapter since December of last year. It had to be this way.
> 
> You have the right to yell at me as much as you'd like btw
> 
> If you still like me after what I've just done you can find me on [tumblr](http://sandgoddess.tumblr.com) and [twitter](https://twitter.com/megabitch2001)


	11. First

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi. Whoo.
> 
> I feel like I have a lot of explaning to do. I don't know why this took me so long, but I got back into the vibe and I finally came up with something that I relatively like. I know I said that this would probably be 10,000 words and up, but when I got to 8,000 and realized that I wasn't even halfway done with what I had planned to write, I decided to cut it short. I will do an extra chapter instead, which is why it went from 16 chapters total to 17. 
> 
> At first I wanted to make this chapter a two-parter and post them both at the same time, but I was already late enough that I decided to just post what I had done and cross the other bridge when I came to it. Hopefully in a month.
> 
> Also, uhh, this was supposed to be in real time. But we're still in November. Oops. Next chapter is Kuroo's birthday lmao we'll deal with it.
> 
> So, here it goes. Enjoy.

It started to snow as Kei walked home from work. He let it fall and melt in his hair without pulling the hood of his coat up. They still weren't sure what had happened, but they had ruled out any kind of illness that could've done this to Millie. The most probable hypothesis was a virus or parasite in her blood that had to have been there before she even gave birth. They'd been doing tests on Archie all day to check if he had anything, and the vets still hadn't brought him back by the end of the day. Kei had stayed 11 hours, just hanging around, and Seikatsu ended up having to ask him to leave.

The walk from the zoo to the building was usually short and grounding, but tonight, it was the longest walk of Kei's life. Sure, he wasn't overjoyed with the idea of being real and vulnerable with someone else, but it was annoying him more to keep it in. He was done pretending that he wasn't the kind of person who could be nice and give sweet kisses, because deep down inside of him, there was an 18-year-old boy who yearned for it enough to ruin himself. He just had to find him and heal him.

He remembered the look in his boss’ eyes when he’d shown up that morning and it had been enough to make him forgive her for not calling him the day before. It also turned out that it wasn’t that difficult to pretend that he had no idea what had happened: he didn’t speak a word and stared at the floor until people left him alone. With no Millie and no Archie to take care of, Tsukishima chilled with the tortoises and the boas for most of the day, avoiding the annoying new turtle guy as best as he could.

They were having an abnormally cold autumn that year. He would’ve needed gloves and a hat to be comfortable in this weather, but he refused to wear that because it was only November and he wasn’t the type of guy to give in so easily to mother nature’s whims.

He’d asked his boss about what they’d done with Millie’s body, and she’d told him that she was still over at the vets’ office. They would probably cremate her, which was fine. They weren’t going to have a lion funeral just because Kei had decided to feel things.

Some puddles were frozen on the side of the street, and it was tempting to test how solid the ice was by stepping all over it and breaking it apart. Alas, Kei was not 5 anymore, so he did not give in to the temptation.

He didn’t know if Kuroo was going to be home, but he was going to his place right away. This whole thing felt like it was too much to handle, which meant that, if he didn’t handle it right now, he would go crazy. He obsessed over things so easily when he did not get the closure he needed, but that wasn’t going to happen now.

For all he knew, Kuroo had only ever wanted to kiss him because his judgement had been clouded by alcohol. And in all honesty, he would feel bad for the poor boy if there was more to it than that.

The street that his building was on was long, straight and it had never been this boring. Every step he took on the sidewalk felt slower than the one before, but he had never tried to get there as fast. He had his key ready in his hand, which were stuffed into his jacket’s pockets to keep them warm.

His boss had told him that they would need to feed Archie with a bottle now, and that Kei would probably have to teach him the tricks that Millie used to be able to do. It was a little early, but the poor baby had nothing to keep him occupied anymore. Just the thought of it made Kei’s eyes sting, or maybe it was the wind.

When he finally reached the building, he unlocked the front door and kicked the snow off of his shoes before he walked in. He had to put a carpet in front of the door before people walked in and slipped on the melted snow that others had left there. He had so many little things to think about, and he was honestly starting to feel overwhelmed. He added the need for a rug on his cellphone note containing all the important things that he had to do for the building as he walked up the stairs to the next floor.

When he found himself in front of Kuroo’s door, he couldn’t help but think that this was the first time he was making the effort to move forward. It was the first time that he would be the one to knock, that he would be the one who asked to talk. It felt strange, but it wasn’t the worst _strange_ that he had ever felt.

He knocked twice, quickly and almost angrily. Everything he did was too curt and arrogant, and he had to find a way to step away from that.

It took a couple of seconds before he heard Kuroo walking towards the door from what seemed to be the other side of the apartment. Tsukishima had thought that he would be able to keep a straight face and go through this like an adult, but all he could do was stare at the floor. He was in no shape to look at anyone in the eye right now. Maybe this was a bad idea.

A door opened, but it wasn’t Kuroo’s door. It was 22’s door. Oikawa was standing in the middle of the door frame with a grin on his face.

“Careful, he’s in a _mood_ ,” he warned, not without adding a wink.

Tsukishima glared curiously at him over his shoulder, exhaling slowly before he decided if he should engage in this or not.

“Same here,” he replied vaguely, turning back to face the door. Weirdly, with Oikawa watching, he felt capable of staring through Kuroo’s soul.

Oikawa was quiet for a couple of seconds before he opened his mouth again. “By the way, sorry about last week… that was a mess.”

“Don’t worry, I clean puke daily,” Kei answered with another quick look to Oikawa. He had welcomed the distraction gladly on that day. The smell of cleaning products had always soothed him anyway.

As soon as Kuroo’s twisted the handle to open his door, Oikawa slammed his door shut in what was surely the least subtle way known to man.

The door creaked as it was pushed open, and Kuroo’s eyes widened when he saw who was standing on the other side of it. He looked into Kei’s eyes with a comical confusion, let his gaze trail down to glare at a vague part of his chest, and looked back up in his eyes. Kei was biting the inside of his cheek nervously.

“Can I come in?” Tsukishima asked, conveying his last glimpse of confidence before it died on him. Kuroo cleared the way and looked straight ahead of himself while Kei walked in, having not prepared for this at all.

Just before he closed the door and turned to Kei, Kuroo yelled “Mind your own business, Oiks!” in the direction of Oikawa’s recently shut door. They both knew he was right on the other side with his ear on the door, trying to catch whatever they were going to say.

The soft click of the closing door made Tsukishima look up, only to see that Kuroo was already focused on him and only him with this air of guilt on his face. They did not speak right away, but the wait made them unsure about who should speak first, so they ended up blurting something out at the same time.

“I’m sorry-“

“I was just-“

They gasped in and kept their lips tightly shut, both feeling like a stumbling baby taking their first steps.

“I’m sorry,” Kuroo attempted again, taking a step in Tsukishima’s direction, “I shouldn’t have left you alone and I shouldn’t have reacted like that and… shit.”

He wasn’t finding the words that he had really meant to say and he was getting angry with himself, so Kei tried to set the record straight.

“You don’t owe me an apology, I just wanted you to know that you were wrong,” Kei replied, only realizing that he’d been a little harsh once he’d stopped talking. He knew he had to take a break and collect himself, but he was dangerously uninterested in waiting any more than he already had.

“There’s just… I don’t think I’m so weak willed that I would use you to, I don’t know, feel less sad, and I’m just… this isn’t even the point I wanted to make,” Kei spat out, and he’d barely been capable of stopping himself. Kuroo was blinking at him, speechless and almost smiling. That boy was so weird.

Tsukishima breathed in, then out. He looked around so he wouldn’t have to share some eye contact, and he noticed the state of the kitchen and the living room next to them. He would’ve usually shamed anyone for living like this, but considering what he had come over to discuss, he didn’t think that would be very advised.

“What point did you want to make, then?” Kuroo incited, sounding just nice enough to show patience instead of dabbling in the easiness of a patronizing tone.

Kei didn’t know what he wanted to say anymore. He needed to sit down.

As if he had read his mind, Kuroo grabbed his wrist just for half a second so he would catch his attention before he walked to his couch, moved some stuff to the coffee table so there would be room to sit and sat on one half of the couch. He patted the couch cushion next to him for good measure.

Kei sat without a word, digging his fingers into the fabric of his pants and scratching it lightly with his nails. He decided that he had to sort himself out if he wanted this to end in the realm of positivity for the both of them. It wasn’t very typical for him to get riled up for no reason, even though he had to admit that, when he had a reason, that reason was often Kuroo.

“I thought you were right at first,” Kei said suddenly, surprising even himself. “I thought I was a piece of fucking shit with no regard for anyone but himself, but you know what? I haven’t wanted to kiss anyone all my life, not a single person.”

He took a shaky breath before he kept going, watching the emptiness in front of him. “And I know you felt like I wasn’t thinking right, but I actually wanted… I wanted to kiss you. And it made me feel so fucking alive to do it. It doesn’t make it right and I don’t mean to say that I was all there in my head, but it wasn’t a fluke or anything like that. I still want to kiss you.”

His eyes were round, his breathing was rushed, and his nails were digging so hard into his pants that he must’ve had marks on his skin. Kuroo blinked at him in silence, trying to process this information without exploding. He had expected a lonely and uneventful night, but he should’ve known better.

“Do you,” Kuroo said in a strange way, not like a question, not like a statement, but like a weird cross in between. Kei scoffed, and it almost sounded like a laugh, but not quite. Kuroo wanted to kiss him senseless.

“Why do you sound so smug?” Tsukishima asked, finally deigning Kuroo with a gaze in his general direction.

Kuroo grinned shamelessly. “Because that was nice to hear,” Tetsurou explained with a smooth shrug, catching the eyes of a barely blushing Tsukishima as he did so.

Kei huffed, feeling annoyed but ultimately entertained, but he had just gained enough confidence back to hold Kuroo’s strong gaze. “I don’t mean to be rude, but don’t you have anything to say now that I’ve bared my soul? Or is that too much to ask?”

Kuroo laughed freely, closing his eyes and rubbing his face with his hand. “Wow, okay. That’s how it’s going to be, good to know.”

Kei crossed his arms and waited for his request to be fulfilled.

Kuroo stopped laughing, cleared his throat and scooted ever-so-slightly closer to Kei. “I guess I do owe you a proper apology about something else, though. I knew that just mentioning it yesterday wasn’t gonna let me off the hook, don’t worry.”

Tsukishima looked to the side and gave a tilt of the head as if to say _obviously_.

“So, huh, now that we’re kind of on the same level about this, I think you should know how much I fucking hated the thought of you sleeping with anyone that wasn’t me for, like, the past three months. Jealousy probably isn’t your thing, but I’m an awful person, so. Yeah.”

“I haven’t slept with anyone in four months,” Kei replied with a frown, as if that was the most important thing to clarify at this moment.

“But that wasn’t because of me,” Kuroo added with an amused scoff.

Kei bit the inside of his lower lip. “Maybe.”

This vague statement was churning so many emotions instead of him that Kuroo decided to ignore it for now and get back to his messy apology. “Anyway, I got too ballsy and I wasn’t even drunk enough to excuse what I said, and I’m sorry. I didn’t mean what I said at all. I just thought we were… we’d been getting there.”

 _We have_ , Tsukishima wanted to say, but it was needy and sappy and everything that he wasn’t and never wanted to be.

“Well, you’re right, I’m not exactly charmed by jealousy. And how dirty your kitchen is. Why do I like you again?”

Sure, that was definitely _much_ better.

He hoped that his shock and instant regret wasn’t showing too much on his face, but from what he could get from Kuroo’s open mouth and askew eyebrow, he wasn’t going to get away with it. It’s not like he hadn’t meant it, but he kind of wanted to go back in time and give these words a rain check. It wasn’t their time yet.

Kuroo grabbed his hand but immediately let it go, looking up and asking him for permission with his puppy dog eyes. Kei sighed with his teeth clenched and his eyes shut, taking Kuroo’s hand himself and squeezing a bit too hard. He softened his hold and brushed his thumb on top of his hand, asking for forgiveness.

“Did you not mean to say that?” Kuroo inquired with a bit too much enjoyment in his voice. “It’s fine. I like you too.”

Kei did what he did best, which was bumping his head into Kuroo’s shoulder when he couldn’t stand himself anymore. Kuroo chuckled, giving his hand a soft squeeze of support.

“I slept 3 hours last night,” Tsukishima replied as if it justified anything. He felt silly, which was an awfully alien feeling to him.

Kuroo’s free hand came up to brush Kei’s chin gently, moving his fingers just insistently enough to get him to look up. He grabbed it more securely as he moved towards him and shared one last second of deep eye-contact, finally closing his eyes all the way when he crossed the rest of the space between them.

Their lips met in a hungry pressure, and Tsukishima inhaled as deeply as he could on contact, cutting all the strings that had held him back over the years as they tried to disgust him of these things that he had decided he shouldn’t want anymore. Someone might’ve decided it for him – that’s what Kei tended to realize when he stopped blaming himself for what had happened with his ex – and there really was no point in following this asshole’s plans for his future.

He felt himself melt, his shoulders fell as they lost the tension that kept them uptight and he finally released the air that he had been keeping in his lungs for an harmful amount of time. Kuroo chuckled when he felt the warm blow of air on his face, but he was shut right up when he felt Kei’s hands on either side of his face, pulling him in closer and sighing into his mouth. Something must’ve short-circuited in Kuroo’s brain because it went blank for a split second and he was about to give this boy what he was asking for.

He deepened the kiss instantly, sliding a hand on the back of Kei’s neck and holding him just a little tighter to brace him for his enthusiasm. There was a part of him who wondered if that was the best thing to do, but he also felt like he had to give Tsukishima whatever he wanted forever.

Kei was trying to breathe slowly enough that it wouldn’t be noticeable, but it came to a point where he felt like he’d been running for an hour and there seemed to be no way to get enough air into his lungs. Maybe he was just too scared to breathe really hard in someone’s face and there was nothing to actually worry about, but he didn’t know that. They separated when he couldn’t take it anymore, pressing his hand flat to Kuroo’s chest and tilting his head down to breathe properly. Kuroo huffed a short laugh as he bumped his nose to the top of Kei’s head and felt the melted snow on his skin.

“Is it snowing outside?” He asked, enjoying the softness of Kei’s hair on his lips as he spoke.

“Yeah,” Kei replied as he exhaled slowly, his voice sounding faint but content. He wanted to go to bed just as much as he wanted to keep kissing him, but he unfortunately couldn’t do both.

When he began lifting his head up again, Kuroo cleared the way and smoothed his fingers over the side of Kei’s neck to try to lure him in.

“Can I sleep here?” Tsukishima asked as he stared up into Kuroo’s eyes. “I usually can’t… I can’t sleep if I’m not in my bed, but right now I feel like I could sleep anywhere, so…”

Tetsurou nodded slowly, studying Kei’s expression carefully to make sure that this was a completely innocent request. “Yeah, well, I don’t have a bed, I only have a mattress on the floor. I had to sell it.”

There came a slow blink from an unimpressed Tsukishima before his lips stretched into a smile and he started laughing like an overjoyed bully. When Kuroo stopped thinking it was cute, he kissed him again to shut him up, which went tremendously well. It felt so natural, as if they had done this many times before. It was nice to have something that felt comfortable after so long of absolutely nothing.

They broke apart quickly, grinning guiltily at each other like two partners in crime.

“So, you’re staying over and sleeping on my floor-mattress with me?” Kuroo questioned to make sure that he was still in with all the elements weighted out.

“Sure,” Kei answered, rapidly going for another peck just to feel Kuroo’s lips against his. He could not believe how good this could be when you did it with the right person.

Kuroo moved away from Kei’s mouth to kiss his cheek, going up to right underneath his eye, and then holding his face up to press his lips lightly to his chin. “We can clear up the boring stuff tomorrow,” he whispered between kisses up to the side of his ear.

When they decided it was time to go to bed, Kuroo took Tsukishima’s hand and guided him to his bedroom even though their apartments were almost identical, and he probably knew where the bedroom was very well. Kei laughed again when he saw the sad mattress flopped down on the floor, but he had calmed down once he’d taken his work uniform off and slipped under the covers.

They stared at each other for a while with a dumb smirk on their faces before they tried to move closer to each other and find a way to cuddle that didn’t feel overly familiar. They settled for a semi-spoon, because there was too much room between them for it to be proper spooning. Kei slipped his fingers through Kuroo’s on the hand that was dangling off his hip flabbily.

Kuroo kept a strong gaze on their joined hands for such an abusive amount of time that he ended up falling asleep a whole hour later than Tsukishima did.

 

* * *

 

Kuroo had been half awake for a couple of minutes now, but he was refusing to open his eyes. It was Sunday morning, neither of them had to go to work and his apartment wasn’t so cold that he felt like his toes were going to fall off. It was a win on every level.

The signature sound of his front door creaking open resonated through the living room and Kuroo perked up like a prey animal. This did not sound like a win at all.

A loud knock on his bedroom door shook Tsukishima out of his slumber while Kuroo straight up stumbled out of bed.

“Sorry,” he whispered as he went to open the door, doing the most to hide his entire bedroom away from the view of who turned out to be Oikawa, just like he had expected.

“Can you come over and play Mario Kart or is Tsukishima still here?” Oikawa asked with both hands on his hips, smiling at Kuroo like a viper.

Kuroo sighed and covered half of his face with a hand. “Actually…”

“Hi,” Kei greeted weakly from the bed, even though Oikawa couldn’t see him because of the way Kuroo stood between the door and the wall.

Oikawa’s expression was one of pure shock and glee, something that shouldn’t have scared Kuroo as much as it had. “Holy shit, I was actually kidding, but shit. Wow.”

He got up on his tiptoes and tried to peak into the room, going as far as to put his hand on Kuroo’s hair and push it down so he would see better. “Good morning Tsukishima! You’re invited to play Mario Kart if you want!”

“Thank you, but I think I’ll pass,” Kei politely declined while he picked his clothes up from the floor and inspecting them to see if they had gotten dirty. Kuroo watched him with a tender look in his eyes.

“Oiks, can you give us a minute? I’ll be over as soon as possible,” Kuroo asked Oikawa, but his eyes were stuck on Kei who was being cute without even knowing about it.

Oikawa turned around and gave Kuroo a peace sign over his shoulder as he walked away, allowing Kuroo to take a deep breath and close his bedroom door.

Kuroo kneeled on the mattress and crawled to Tsukishima, ignoring his protests when he put his knees all over the clothes that he’d been trying to sort out. He grabbed Kei’s face and kissed him with closed lips, inhaling the intoxicating feeling of Tsukishima falling apart underneath his hands.

“Good morning,” he murmured when they broke apart and joined foreheads. Kei smiled subtly and bit his lower lip to make himself stop. “Sorry about Oikawa, he gained his social skills in a barn.”

“Don’t start apologizing for Oikawa, you’ll never stop,” Kei replied, followed by an eye-roll. Kuroo started laughing with a small snort at the sight.

“You’re probably right,” Kuroo said before he gave Tsukishima another sweet and slow kiss, still smiling against his lips. He didn’t know where this ease was coming from, considering how new this was, but Tsukishima didn’t seem to mind the overflow of familiarity. “Do you mind if I go humour him for a while? I’ll text you when I’m done, and we can… talk if you still want to.”

“Yeah, just… do you want me to stay here?” Tsukishima asked with his lips brushing on Kuroo’s cheek, his pitch just self-conscious enough to force Kuroo to kiss him once more in an attempt to cheer him up.

“Sure,” Tetsurou whispered once he moved away.

Tsukishima cleared his throat, but he tried to make it subtle since their faces were so close to each other, and that didn’t really work. “I’ll just go downstairs to change and I’ll… or I can just go home and you- I don’t know.”

“Hey,” Kuroo protested with care, “I want you here, so it’s literally no trouble if you want to stay here. Okay?”

Kei nodded somewhat abruptly before he looked up right into Kuroo’s eyes. “Okay,” he replied in a hushed voice, “I’ll just change and I’ll be back upstairs then.”

“Alright,” Kuroo said as he beamed, giving Kei’s hand a soft squeeze and standing from the bed. “I shouldn’t be too long.”

He left the room as the image of Tsukishima all sleep-heavy in the middle of his bed (floor-mattress), trying to find the edge of the comforter to free himself from the ridiculous amount of fluff there was on that dumb mattress got burned into his brain. Kuroo was doing everything he could to fight the ridiculous cold that had taken over his apartment. There were supposed to be days with highs of 11° Celsius in the next week, so maybe he’d get a break from all this ice-cold wind winning the fight against his subpar heater.

He put on old jog pants that he’d left on the couch before he walked out of his apartment and right into Oikawa’s. As soon as he walked in, he heard Oikawa running from his bedroom to join him in the entryway.

“B _iiii_ tch!” He yelled off the top of his lungs as a shocked Kuroo blinked at him in silence. “Why the fuck did I have to walk in on you to know this was going on?”

"Well, first of all, I didn't want something like this to happen at your own volition, 'cause I know you have no shame. We sorted things out yesterday, so this is... new."

Oikawa smiled even wider and clapped excitedly. "Oh, that is so great. Did you... were you... what happened last night?"

Kuroo frowned at Oikawa to warn him and beg him at the same time to avoid continuing with questions like these. "We slept," he answered with a killing glare.

"Wow, you've gotten more vanilla than me," Oikawa said as he gave Kuroo another one of his suggestive winks. He ran into the living room, inviting Kuroo to follow him with a sneaky glance over the shoulder.

Kuroo joined him with a sigh, sitting on his couch and grabbing the controller that Oikawa was holding out for him.

"Alright, princess Daisy, let's fucking go," he yelled as the startup screen appeared and Mario yelled something unclear.

They picked their characters (Oikawa was Peach and Kuroo was Daisy, as usual) and began a race in silence, getting to the end of the first lap before either one of them spoke again.

"When is Iwa coming back?" Kuroo asked, punctuating his question with the release of a deadly blue shell.

Oikawa cursed under his breath because he was in first place. "Thursday. Why?"

"Just wanted to know when you'd be busy fucking all the time so you wouldn't have time to come check if I'm also busy fucking all the time."

Oikawa gasped, glared Kuroo's way briefly until he realized he had to watch the screen to play, and then made peace with what he had just heard because he knew very well that Kuroo was right.

"That's fair," he said with a casual shrug, finishing the second lap in third place at the same time.

The race ended quickly after that with Oikawa in first place and Kuroo in second place, and that had pretty much been the outcome of every single Mario Kart game they had played since they'd met. The only person Oikawa could not beat was Kenma.

"So," Oikawa began as he picked the second race they were going to do, "have you got anything planned with your _boyfriend~_ today or are you both pretending that you want some room to figure this out?"

"He's not my boyfriend," Kuroo replied matter-of-factly. "I didn't have time to ask him because you barged in my apartment."

Oikawa clicked his tongue and picked one of Kuroo's least favorite races. "You should've asked him last night, now he's had too much time to see who you truly are."

Kuroo had a fake laugh that turned into a groan when he did not get the starting boost. "He was already complaining about my kitchen yesterday..."

"Ooh, you're on thin ice already," Oikawa joked as he reached first place on the race track. "If he's anything like Iwa-chan is about cleaning, you can throw away dirty pans instead of washing them and he'll never notice as long as he thinks everything's clean."

"Do you really do that?" Kuroo asked in complete disbelief. When you were as tight on money as he was, that kind of thing was unconceivable.

"Yes," Oikawa replied, suddenly a bit sheepish. "Don't tell him."

"Rich people are unbelievable," Kuroo said vehemently through clenched teeth.

Oikawa went limp and seemed to be swallowed by the couch's cushions when he curled up on himself in shame. They finished the current race with the same outcome as the previous one, but there was a much bigger gap between Oikawa and Kuroo's times.

"Do you want help to clean your kitchen?" Oikawa asked, his voice so hushed that it barely sounded like him.

Kuroo grinned as he picked rainbow road. "Are you just offering this because you don't want me to tell Iwa you've been throwing away expansive pots and pans for what must be years instead of washing them?"

"Yes," Oikawa admitted, still sounding like a wounded mouse.

Kuroo chuckled, getting his boost when the green light lit up. "Okay, fine."

Oikawa lighted up and propelled himself out of his cage of cushions so quickly that he sent poor princess Peach falling down a dark abyss.

At the end of four races, Oikawa came in first place overall and Kuroo was doomed to the second place, which he still accepted bitterly.

He went home after he reminded Oikawa of his promise to help with the kitchen. He only noticed how cold it really was in his place after he'd spent a while in Oikawa's adequately heated apartment.

Tsukishima was bundled up on the couch, disappearing underneath an enormous baby blue sweater and thick black sweat pants. He was reading a book and balancing the cover on his knees, trying to keep warm with his thighs pressed to his chest. His glasses had started to slip a little on his nose. Kuroo sat next to him and put his head down on the open book, reaching up to push Kei’s glasses up.

“Where’d you get that thing?” Kuroo asked as he went to poke the excess fabric on Kei’s right arm, getting a sigh of irritation out of him.

“It’s thrifted,” Kei replied, slowly warming up at the sight of Kuroo looking up at him from his knees, if Kuroo could tell from how soft and patient his voice had sounded. “It’s so cold in here.”

“Yeah, sorry about that,” Kuroo apologized with a pout, “the windows let in a lot of air and I don’t set the heater very high because it’s pretty expensive.”

“Why didn’t you tell me?” Kei asked with his usual downplayed worry disguised as anger. “We could at least put plastic around your windows to keep the cold out.”

Kuroo shrugged casually. “I don’t really care.”

“You don’t care? It’s like 15° and you don’t care?”

Kuroo suddenly felt guilty about his disregard for his own comfort, but also weirdly defensive. “It’s not 15°, it’s–“ he turned to look at the thermostat “–16°.”

“Oh, you are right, that is much better,” Kei replied in a monotone voice and with a straight face. It shouldn’t have made Kuroo smile, but it did.

“We can go downstairs if you want,” Kuroo offered, giving a nonchalant tilt of the head. “Not that I don’t like your look, don’t get me wrong.”

Kei’s grin reeked of sarcasm. “We can go downstairs,” he said, obviously unbothered either way even though he was struggling to keep warm.

“You sure?”

“Yeah. Stop staring at me like that please.”

Kuroo smiled again against himself, because Kei seemed to be especially zesty today and that was a real treat. “Like what?”

“All weird like that,” Kei replied with a vague twist of the hand. “Why are you being weird?”

“I don’t know,” Kuroo said with a shrug, but it was probably tenser than a typical shrug ought to be to convey the desired message. “I guess I was too suave this morning, and now I’m realizing what we’re doing and I don’t know how to act.”

“Well, that’s oddly honest,” Kei commented with mild boredom, “but you give yourself a lot of credit. You weren’t that suave.”

Kuroo grinned warmly again, reached to touch Kei’s face but moved back at the last second. “See, now I feel like kissing you but I don’t know if I can because I’m being weird.”

“You can,” Tsukishima replied somewhat sheepishly, and in a burst of confidence, he dipped down and kissed Kuroo himself. He could feel Kuroo smiling wider against his lips.

When they came apart, Kuroo had his eyes closed in pretend dramatic bliss.

“You’re gonna turn your heat up, grab your keyboard and come downstairs with me now.”

Kuroo’s nose scrunched up but his eyes stayed stubbornly closed. “I’m still poor, you know,” he said plainly.

“I’ll pay for your goddamn heat, I don’t care,” Kei announced as he bumped his head to the cushion and looked at the ceiling. Kuroo’s eyes cracked open and he frowned at Kei.

“No,” he laughed nervously, rejecting the offer outright.

“Look, this isn’t up for debate, I’m not doing you a favor, I’m doing this for _me_. You’re not gonna live like this if I can do something about it. And that’s not your landlord talking.”

Kuroo was too intrigued to keep fighting, so he poked Tsukishima’s arm again and smirked dumbly at him. “Then who is?”

“The guy you’re currently lying down on, I guess.”

“So,” Kuroo began, stretching out the ‘o’, “my, huh, _new lover_ , is offering to pay for my necessities. Don’t you think this kind of sounds like a slippery slope towards a sugar daddy situation?”

“Depends if I do get any sugar for it. I don’t think you’ll have sex with me because I paid your heat bill.”

Kuroo chuckled childishly, but he quickly stopped when he realised that, in his worst moments, he would’ve probably considered it. It wasn’t like it was a hand out if he had to give something of equal value in exchange, but that was… prostitution, kind of. “Not because of that, probably.”

“ _Probably_ ,” Kei repeated under his breath like a disapproving mom, but he still brought his hand up and buried his fingers into Kuroo’s hair, patting his head like a dog. “Come on, heat, keyboard.”

Kuroo groaned, but he sat up as nails gently dragged on his scalp. He tackled the heat first, setting the thermostat at 21° Celsius and turning the space heater off, and went to get the keyboard second. It was lodged between an ironing board and an old stuffed vacuum hose that belonged to the guy who lived there before him. Once he took it out and noticed how very dusty it had gotten, he felt a painful pinch in his heart.

“It’s not a grand piano,” he joked as he looked for the stand, “but it does the job to practice.”

“I’m sure it does,” Kei replied, unbothered by the fanciness of the instrument. He just wanted to hear him play, he didn’t really care what they had to use to get there.

Kei stood up and joined him to help in the clean up. Kuroo plugged it and tested it to make sure it still worked, and they left for Tsukishima’s warmer apartment.

It was getting quite late in the morning and the sky was still grey. They could see the rain start from the bay window in the living room as Kuroo played and Kei stood behind him, wrapping his arms around his neck and lying his head down. Kuroo did a couple more mistakes than he should’ve after not playing for only seven months, and he blamed them on the lovely boy that clung to his back and exhaled softly on his neck.

 

* * *

 

They’d just finished their takeout and Kuroo had popped back upstairs for a quick change of clothes before he’d come back and settle for the night. Time had flown by, and they hadn’t had to fill it with useless activities and empty conversations. Kei read and Kuroo was happy to play for him as he did. They tried to bake something and made a mess of it because Kei didn’t have a muffin pan, so they used muffin tins on a flat pan which was obviously a mistake. They ended up ordering something and tossing the pans in the sink in shame.

But now it was late, and they had opted for a second sleepover unanimously. Kei had promised Kuroo that his bed was even more comfortable than his couch, so he had a lot of expectations. He ran downstairs to avoid Oikawa’s antics and anyone else who didn’t need to see him in his 10-year-old sweat pants that he wore to bed. He was barefoot in the hallway, walking into numerous puddles of rain and melted snow. The first thing he did when he walked in Tsukishima’s apartment was lock the door, but he went to clean his feet right after.

Once his feet were clean and dry, he moved to the bedroom but stopped in the doorway to appreciate the sight in front of him properly. Kei was still in his baby blue sweater, but there was nothing else on him, no more of the thick sweat pants, glasses off and hair ruffled. He was on his phone, tapping away as he bit his lower lip distractingly. Kuroo bumped his shoulder to the door frame, watching Kei with a sweet smile.

Kei looked up from his phone, got noticeably red in the face, and looked back down. “What are you doing over there?”

“You’re beautiful,” Kuroo said, not replying to the question, but getting a darker blush on Kei’s face. He walked over to the bed, climbing on it on his knees and approaching an intrigued Kei who put his phone on the side table and brought his full attention to Kuroo.

As soon as he was in distance to reach him, Kuroo grabbed Kei’s face with both hands and kissed him deeply. A startled moan came out of his mouth, and he instinctually went to cross his arms behind Kuroo’s neck. They lied down together, crumbling down onto the bed like the mess they had made of each other.

Kuroo’s fingers reached up Kei’s thigh at the same pace as the sweater rid up, asking in a whisper between kisses if it was okay. Kei replied that it was in the same way. His knees rose up, caging Kuroo between his thighs before he let them fall a little, allowing Kuroo to move his hand from the top to the inside of his thigh. Tsukishima was starting to run out of air and he was still self-conscious about breathing hard in someone’s face, so he pushed Kuroo away slightly and tried to speak and breathe at the same time.

“Do you – I’m sorry, I – am I, huh, breathing too hard on your face?”

Kuroo chuckled before he went to kiss Kei’s cheek and huffed all over his face. He was smiling smugly when he moved away.

“It’s just air, it doesn’t hurt,” Kuroo replied, ending his statement with another kiss on Kei’s other cheek. “Don’t think too hard.”

Kei turned his head to the side, looking for Kuroo’s lips again. He sighed with relief when he found them and finally gave in fully, kissing Kuroo just like he had really wanted to. Kuroo’s fingers dug deeper into Kei’s thighs, pulling his leg up over his hip. He grinned mid-kiss when Kei hooked his leg behind Tetsurou, forcing him closer by digging his heel in his back.

They broke the kiss again only to sigh in each other’s mouth, opening their eyes and staring at the other in shock until they started laughing.

Kuroo moved his hand from Kei’s leg to his lower stomach, just on top of where his underwear sat. “We don’t have to do too much, if you don’t –“ Kei interrupted him with a brief kiss “–I can just…”

His hand ventured under the elastic band of Tsukishima’s boxers, but he stopped before he touched him.

“Is this okay?” He asked carefully, his lips so close to Kei’s that they brushed together with every word he said.

“Yes,” Kei sighed, tilting his head up and pressing his lips to Kuroo’s again.

Kuroo gave in completely, nibbling Kei’s lower lip just so he would part his lips and allow him to deepen the kiss. His hand reached further, his fingers surrounding soft but firm skin.

Kei broke the kiss suddenly and exhaled shakily, moaning softly once he ran out of air in his lungs. Kuroo chuckled gently as he twisted his hand up so slowly that it must’ve been more annoying than pleasing.

“Oh,” Kuroo commented innocently before he kissed Kei’s chin.

“You’ve been grinding on me for five minutes,” Kei wheezed out as to defend himself.

Kuroo huffed a laugh and left another kiss before he gave his rebuttal. “I’m pretty sure it hasn’t been five minutes yet. Three at best.”

Tsukishima did not reply, simply grabbing Kuroo’s face with both of his hands and slamming a proper kiss on his lips. Kuroo moved his hand to Kei’s hip, keeping it under his underwear and pushing it down.

Kei shied away from the kiss for what seemed to be the hundredth time, frowning slightly as if he was offended. “Okay, so you’re undressing me when I’m already half naked? No, you take that off.”

Kuroo looked down to where Kei was shaking his hand, locking his gaze on his sweat pants. After a shrug, he stood up on his knees and slipped the pants off. Kei was looking up at him with a mocking smirk, but Kuroo did not care. He took everything off actually, not wasting any time or any of Kei’s attention.

“Happy?” He asked without as much confidence as he had intended, but he was even more endearing for it.

“Mmh hmm,” Kei hummed as he grabbed Kuroo by the shoulders and pulled him down to kiss him again. He could not remember another time in his life when he had kissed someone that many times in one day.

Kuroo undertook the task of taking Kei’s underwear off again, sliding his hands underneath the fabric and pushing them off as he kissed this boy properly. He had to move out of the way to take it all the way off, but soon enough, he had his lips back on Kei’s and his hips between his legs.

Kuroo kissed down from Kei’s lips to his neck and back up to the side of his ear. Carefully, he took Kei back into his hand and made shivers bloom all over his skin. He scooted closer so they would align together, closing his hand around the both of them as he whispered “Is this okay?” for the third time in five minutes.

“Please,” Kei replied with the pain of impatience in his voice.

Kuroo chuckled right next to his ear. “We’re saying please now, okay.”

Tsukishima pinched Kuroo’s arm, sending him a message about the dangerous annoyance he’d been accumulating that was threatening to come out as pure aggression.

Tetsurou started slow, not applying too much pressure and moving just slow enough that neither of them would make a fool of themselves and come in 2 minutes. He didn’t know about how long it had been for Kei, but Kuroo had literally not had an helping hand in the process of getting an orgasm in more than a year, but less than two. He had no idea what his stats were anymore.

Kuroo kissed his way back to Kei’s mouth, enjoying the noises he made against his lips at every brush of Kuroo’s fingers on the head of his dick. He was moving quicker now, curling his fingers more firmly and starting to grind again despite himself. It felt horribly greedy and selfish, but Tsukishima’s breathy and soft sounds were starting to get louder so he clearly wasn’t enjoying this on his own.

Between tongues and moans, Kuroo found the time to run his mouth for a couple of seconds. “I love the noises you make.”

There was a surprised but adorable smile on Kei’s face before he slammed both hands on Kuroo’s cheeks again and kissed him so hard that he hurt his nose on the side of Kuroo’s nose.

They kept the same rhythm for a while, kissing leisurely and holding each other so close that they stuck together. Kei’s sweater had bunched up under his armpits, but Kuroo thought it was charming so he didn’t care to have him take it off.

Kei turned his head to the side suddenly and started panting in a way that was not helping Kuroo’s efforts to last a little bit longer at all. He kissed his neck to distract himself, concentrating on the feeling of his warm skin against his lips while he felt the rush of air going in and out of Kei’s throat.

“Oh my God,” Kei whispered as his fingers dug in the skin of Kuroo’s back almost painfully. His hands left his back just as fast and sought for something else to grab, quickly settling for a corner of his pillow and a random part of his comforter.

Kuroo got him to turn his head back to where it originally laid, pressing his lips to his chin and scrapping his teeth softly until Tsukishima tilted his head down and got the kiss he had been asking for.

The kiss only lasted for half of a blissful minute before Kei tilted his head back up and kept his lips parted as his entire body tensed up. Kuroo did not stop moving his hand until Kei had stopped coming, kissing his neck the entire time while Kei seemed to have stopped breathing completely.

He slowed down to a halt and ended up stroking Tsukishima’s thigh while he learned how to breathe again, all his limbs laying flat and sprawled as far as he could reach. It took him a moment before he sat up in horror and grabbed Kuroo’s dick into his own hand, finishing the job for him instead of laying there selfishly.

Kuroo crumbled down and held himself up on one elbow, staring down into Kei’s eyes and gasping quietly until it became too much and he had to put his forehead down in the crook of Kei’s neck and just wait for it.

He came with a strangled gasp, riding it out as Tsukishima huffed an happy sigh right next to his head. “Shit,” Kuroo choked out, laughing briefly by the end.

“Well,” Kei said in a dead voice, which really triggered Kuroo’s now uncontrollable laughter.

Kei rubbed his back until he stopped laughing, but he was giggling too by the end.

“I need to put this sweater in the wash and take a shower,” Kei declared before he sat up and obliged Kuroo to roll over to the side. “If you wanted to, we could-“

“YEP,” Kuroo yelped as he let himself slide off of the bed and onto the floor. He grabbed his three articles of clothing that he had put to the side and kept them away from his stomach, following Kei to the bathroom while he took a proper look at him in his baby blue sweater with cum on the bottom. He could not believe that this was a real thing that he was allowed to see.

Once they got to the bathroom, Kei started doing laundry in silence while Kuroo wiped away some of the mess on his chest before he would hop in the shower. He turned the water on and noticed how big the bathtub was for the first time. He was not the snooping type, so he had never looked behind the curtain, but that was probably the deepest tub he had seen in his life. It made sense, considering that the person who lived there before was an old lady who walked with a cane. Kuroo was considering having future sex in the tub of a dead old woman and he did not even feel weird about it.

Kei finally stripped out of the sweater and threw it in the washing machine with the clothes that were in the bathroom hamper, stepping in the shower once he had shut the lid. He came face to face with an awkward looking Kuroo who was standing at the other end of the tub, as far as he could from the water.

“What are you doing?”

“I was waiting for you.”

Kuroo grabbed his face and kissed him sweetly, backing up slowly into the spray of water. Kei flinched cutely when the water hit his hair and started going down his back, and Kuroo started laughing again when water began dripping between their faces. They had to stop kissing and start washing, looking at each other fixedly as they washed their hair. Once they taken turns rinsing the shampoo out of their hair, Kei picked up his bottle of conditioner and put some in his hand while Kuroo frowned down at him.

“You use that?” He asked with genuine confusion.

“Yeah. You should too, maybe your hair wouldn’t be such a mess.”

Kuroo grinned proudly at him and stole half of the product from Kei’s hand, running his fingers into his hair like a comb to spread it out. Kei clicked his tongue before he poured some more of it in his hand and did his own hair, giving Kuroo a nasty glare as he did so.

They put body wash on wash cloths and cleaned themselves in silence at first, then they began cleaning each other and ended up throwing the foam at each other’s face. Kuroo got some into his mouth and had to clean it out for a whole minute while Kei stood to the side and laughed.

They rinsed off together, sharing the water and massaging the conditioner out of each other’s hair. They kissed as they laughed, letting the soapy water drip down their bodies as they did nothing to clear it away themselves. They had water in their mouths and Kuroo’s back was pressed to cold tiles, but it wasn’t nearly uncomfortable enough to make them ever want to stop.

Once they were clean and free of any soap, Kei turned the water off and walked out of the shower to grab a freakishly large towel that seemed to have originally been a blanket made from the wrong material. He was able to wrap the both of them in there, resting his bent elbows on Kuroo’s chest and pressing his lips on his gently. Kuroo backed up into the wall next to the shower and grunted softly, putting his hands on Kei’s back and holding him closer.

Kuroo was only now realizing the impact of their height difference because he had to keep his chin up to make up for it, and he knew that if Kei wasn’t bending his knees a little bit, he would’ve had to get up on his toes. That was definitely a first for him.

They had to break apart when their level of dampness was too low to allow their skin to glide together and was now more sticky than anything. Kei gave Kuroo a proper towel before they left for the bedroom and changed back into their clothes.

They got back into bed and lied down facing each other, almost starting to laugh from time to time but never truly giving in. They shimmied closer and ended up cuddling with Kei’s forehead pressed to Kuroo’s shoulder, which was a blessing for him.

Kei grabbed his phone on the side table and rolled away for a bit while he set an alarm for the next morning, rolling back and settling in Kuroo’s arms again once he was done. They drifted off to sleep quickly, holding handfuls of the other’s shirt.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Teeheehee!
> 
> SO??? I want to hear everything you have to say. Everything.
> 
> I Know that I've been bitching a lot about this on tumblr, but if you're not following me, you might not know. I am currently going through a depressive episode and I am awfully unmotivated, and I'm not trying to beg for encouragement (yes I am), but I would immensely appreciate feedback on this. I always do, but right now I do more than ever.
> 
> Thank you so very much for reading, you can find me on [tumblr](https://sandgoddess.tumblr.com) and [twitter](https://twitter.com/megabitch2001) if you want more of little old me  
> Bye love you I hope you defrosted the chicken


	12. Lust

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi lmao
> 
> I think you can guess from the title where I'm gonna take this. If you're not really into super detailed sex, you can stop reading at "Kuroo was working early on Wednesday morning", but I must say that it's kind of important for the development of their relationship and how they stand with each other. It's not absolutely crucial tho if you're really NOT into that at all.
> 
> Have fun!

Kuroo woke up to the sound of Kei's alarm, but the other man was still asleep and pulling on Kuroo's shirt to keep him close. He had to physically shake him to wake him up, which he did for a couple of seconds before he wiggled back into his place between Kuroo's arms and fell asleep again.

"Kei," Kuroo said, chuckling at the sight. The alarm was still going off. "Come on now."

He had to shake him again to get a reaction. Tsukishima blinked a couple of times before his eyes focused on Kuroo.

"Good morning," Kuroo joked with an happy laugh. Kei rolled away from him to turn the alarm off and then he just laid there with his hands in his face, grunting softly.

He had used to be a morning person, but now he was more of the type to snooze 5 times until he risked being late. He guessed that's what becoming an adult had done to him.

Kuroo wrapped him in a tight hug and forced him to roll back towards him, kissing his forehead and the top of his head.

They ended up laying there in their shared warmth, whispering about all and nothing until it was much later, much too late for Kei to grab breakfast and take his time to get ready. Tsukishima put on his uniform as he glared at Kuroo, but all the latter did was laugh at him and hide underneath the sheets.

"I'll bring you something to eat," Kuroo promised when Kei was about to walk out of the bedroom.

"You better," Kei said, and the heat he'd tried to convey behind his words turned into affection midway. He had no idea how that had happened. He was halfway through the living room when he remembered the state of Kuroo's bank account, so he went to get his wallet and returned to the bedroom to throw money on the bed. Kuroo blinked at him with his eyebrows up in surprise, but Kei had to run out so he only heard him laugh once he got to the front door.

He was waiting for the bus because he was too late to walk when Kuroo texted him.

 

 **[09:23]** _Kuroo Tetsurou sent:_

What do you want me to get you sweetheart?

 **[09:23]** _Tsukishima Kei sent:_

I don't care just anything

Like a sandwich

And don't say that

 **[09:24]** _Kuroo Tetsurou sent:_

Sure sweetheart

Do you want anything to drink sweetheart?

 **[09:24]** _Tsukishima Kei sent:_

A coffee

And I'm filling a restraining order right now

 **[09:24]** _Kuroo Tetsurou sent:_

K goodbye forever it was nice knowing you

 **[09:25]** _Tsukishima Kei sent:_

Lock the door with the key under the doormat when you go out

 **[09:25]** _Kuroo Tetsurou sent:_

Yes

Do you put anything in your coffee or do you take it black

Sweetheart

 **[09:26]** _Tsukishima Kei sent:_

...

Just a little bit of milk please

I'm gonna turn my phone off now

  **[09:26]** _Kuroo Tetsurou sent:_

You better not or you won't know when I'll be waiting for you at the service door

You're stuck with me

 **[09:27]** _Tsukishima Kei sent:_

I guess I am

 

Kuroo was grinning at his phone when it started ringing, Kenma's icon appearing on the top of the screen. Kuroo picked up as he frowned, curious.

"Sup Ken?" He asked once he had the phone against his ear.

"Congratulations," Kenma said without any discernable emotion behind his voice, but still, Kuroo felt like he'd just been caught red handed.

"Who told you?"

"Doesn't matter who told me."

"Who told you?" Kuroo repeated, adding a cutting edge to his words.

Kenma sighed and audibly stood up from where he'd been sitting down. "Hajime."

"Iwa..? How?"

"Tooru told him and he told me because I asked him to."

"But he's in Egypt..." Kuroo said more for himself than for Kenma. Iwa was being a snake in Egypt and there was nothing he could do about that.

Kenma chuckled dryly. "So, your landlord."

"Yes, my landlord," Kuroo replied, defeated. "I'm not a child, you know?"

"I know, you're older than me," Kenma answered, oblivious to the fact that he was making it worse by reminding Kuroo of this fact. "And you know that's not it. If you'd never spent a month calling me every night for hours because you got dumped again, I wouldn't go through these lengths."

"Okay, but I'm not like, in love or anything."

Kenma took a couple of seconds to reply to that. He was probably shocked, seeing as Kuroo was usually planning his wedding 3 weeks into a new relationship. "You're not?"

"No, I'm taking this slow. Or, you know, I'm letting whatever happens happen."

"Okay," Kenma accepted. "I trust your judgement, but I just... the boys know him."

"Hmm?"

"Shouyou and Tobio, they know him. And they don't have a lot of nice things to say."

Kuroo chuckled at the predictability. "Yeah, they probably don't. I didn't either at first."

"So, what?" Kenma asked, trying to get the appeal. "It's an acquired taste?"

"I guess," Kuroo replied with a shrug that Kenma could not see. "If you're easily scared, you won't take the time to peel away the layers of protection he has all around himself though, so I understand Hinata and Kageyama, kinda."

"Are you calling them cowards?" Kenma pondered, confused rather than offended.

Kuroo laughed again, appreciating how hard it really was to make Kenma feel insulted. "No, I'm saying they probably just scratched the surface and gave up, which I don’t blame them for. I’m just… glad I had the patience. I’m also lucky he doesn’t hate my guts."

“Sounds like an healthy relationship,” Kenma commented airily, not meaning anything serious behind it, and Kuroo knew that but he still felt like defending himself.

“It’s not unhealthy, it’s just a matter of worth it or not, and I think it’s worth it.”

Kenma made a small thinking noise. “Sure, like I said, it’s not that I don’t trust you.”

Kuroo heard the unsaid, _it’s him I don’t trust_. He got where Kenma was coming from, of course, but he couldn’t help the urge to defend Tsukishima. Then it hit him that this was exactly the problem with him: he had rose-colored glasses on, and no matter how many times he could say that he was taking it slow, he was already in way too deep. There was still so much that he needed to learn about Tsukishima, and he trusted him, but it wouldn’t do him any wrong to think of him in a more rational way.

“No, I know,” Kuroo replied, but his voice sounded distant to Kenma. “I’m trying really hard to do this the right way. I’m looking out for the signs.”

“Good,” Kenma said, but there was a bit of pain in his voice. He was sorry that Kuroo even had to be so wary in his relationships, but the poor guy loved to love and he was rarely smart about it. “You know, despite what it looks like, I really hope this works out for you.”

Kuroo chuckled sarcastically. “That would give you a break, wouldn’t it?”

“I’m not selfish,” Kenma replied with a certainty that only him could have. “I know how much you want it, so I want you to have it.”

“I’m not sure I follow anymore, are you saying that I should go for it or that I should run?”

“Just find out if he’s evil before it’s too late,” Kenma said carelessly.

“Yeah, sure,” Kuroo complied nicely. “I promised I would get him breakfast, so I have to go, but thank you for not freaking out too much.”

“I’m not freaking out at all, just asking you to be careful.”

Kuroo smirked, having missed his friend’s concern, despite the circumstances. “I will. Do you have a day off soon?”

“I have Tuesday and Wednesday off, just text me if you want to come over,” Kenma replied, having never minded a change of plans for an unplanned visit.

They exchanged goodbyes so Kuroo could get his boy some breakfast before it would be too late for it to be socially acceptable. He grabbed the money, went upstairs to change and walked down the street to the café to get Kei a breakfast sandwich and a coffee.

He warned Tsukishima of his imminent arrival via text message as he walked to the zoo, bringing the food in a small brown bag that did nothing to keep the delicious smell inside of it. He hadn’t bought anything for himself since it wasn’t his money, but with the amount that Kei had thrown had him, he might’ve been supposed to.

He walked past the check-in desk, past Seikatsu’s station (who frowned softly as he wondered why he knew who that was) and to the service door which Kei had dragged him through the day Archie was born. The gate in front of it wasn’t locked during the day, so he knocked directly on the door once and Kei pulled it open the next second, snatching the bag from Kuroo’s hands and peeking inside of it.

“Nice,” Tsukishima said when he looked up at Kuroo, “thank you.”

Kei took the cup in both of his hands, the brown bag dangling from the two fingers it was pinched between. He took a long sip of coffee, watching Kuroo over the lid of the cup and frowning curiously at the way he gawked at him.

“You hold your drink like a toddler,” Kuroo said as he grinned gleefully. “You’re adorable.”

Tsukishima blinked at him, looking concerned but unsurprised. “It’s warm, my hands were cold.”

“Okay, still adorable.”

Kei sulked at him which, whether he liked it or not, made him even more adorable. Kuroo bit the inside of his bottom lip as he tried to control his urge to steal a kiss right then and there.

Noticing the strange contortion of his mouth, Kei blinked suspiciously. “What?” he asked, clearly intending that he would not accept “nothing” as an answer.

“Well, it would be nice if you had a machine to communicate with Seikatsu and ask him to stop staring at us so I can kiss you goodbye.”

Kei’s smile was as minuscule as it was mesmerizing, so Kuroo did not notice that he was reaching to grab his shirt and pull him inside the building.

He dragged him into the gray hallway and walked into a dark spare room. Once he’d turned on the lights, Kei found a table to put his breakfast down on before he walked back to Kuroo who was still standing near the door.

“He can’t see through walls,” Kei said as his hand cupped Kuroo’s cheek and he reached down just a little bit to kiss him.

Kuroo chuckled once on Kei’s face, putting his hands on his back and hooking his thumbs in the belt hoops of Tsukishima’s pants to keep him close.

Kei broke the kiss to stare down at Kuroo. “Are you holding me by the belt hoops?”

“Yes,” Kuroo replied, pressing a quick smile-shaped kiss on Kei’s lips. “It’s comfy.”

“Alright,” Kei sighed, quickly going for another kiss before he moved away and forced Kuroo’s thumbs out of his belt hoops. “Pretend like you belong here on your way out and no one will ask questions.”

He went to get his breakfast from the table and was about to open the door and leave the room, but he stopped in front of the heavy gray door and looked to the side where Kuroo stood. “If you don’t mind, I’m kind of running out of social energy and I would probably need a night off tonight.”

“Oh, yeah, sure. Everyone needs alone time, I get that,” Kuroo replied with this soft indulgence of his, always shocking Kei with how he reacted to his requests.

“Thanks,” Tsukishima said as he watched Kuroo with round eyes that probably transmitted fear instead of the genuine shock and gratefulness that it really should have. He didn’t want to talk about it anymore though, so he walked out as he clenched his hands tightly around his cup of coffee and his breakfast bag. Kuroo watched him go with one eyebrow hanging higher than the other on his face, confused by the ending of this brief conversation.

 

* * *

 

It was 10:59 PM and Tsukishima was staring at his phone’s screen, waiting for the clock to strike 11. This was ridiculous. He thought he had needed this. He thought that the restlessness underneath his skin was due to him not spending enough time with himself and his own thoughts lately, but it seemed like it wasn’t related. He had tried to distract himself in all the ways he could think of: with food, with a book, with music, with a calming bath, even with having an unsatisfying text conversation with his dad. Nothing had worked, and now he was in bed, tossing and turning and wishing he had someone to snuggle up to.

That was pathetic.

He called Kuroo.

“Mmh?” Kuroo’s tired voice answered after the third ring.

“Did I wake you?” Kei asked as he gritted his teeth, having not thought long enough about this before he decided to go ahead and start calling people so late.

Kuroo laughed airily. “I feel asleep in front of a movie, Oikawa’s still asleep on my knees.”

“Oh, sorry, I didn’t mean to-“

“No, it’s fine, what’s up?”

Kei huffed angrily and came out with it. “I can’t sleep. I… I’d like you to sleep here, if you want. Or if you can even wake Oikawa up.”

“Yes, absolutely, on my way,” Kuroo replied as he audibly pushed a protesting Oikawa off of him and stood up from the couch.

Tsukishima heard Kuroo explain it as “duty calls” to Oikawa, which prompted the latter’s follow up question of “are you gonna get some ass?”.

“Am I gonna get some ass?” Kuroo asked candidly as Kei tried to laugh as silently as possible on his end of the phone.

“Probably not,” Kei said, since he had not really considered that.

“Probably not,” Kuroo repeated, talking to Oikawa.

“I’ll be here in a minute,” he said before he hung up, leaving Tsukishima to feel pitiful on his own.

This thing between them had only been going on for a couple of days and he couldn’t even sleep alone anymore. He had to be completely honest with himself though, he hadn’t really tried to fall asleep at all. He wanted Kuroo next to him and he gave himself a pretext to have that. He didn’t know why that made him feel so bad.

Kuroo unlocked the front door with the spare key that Kei had told him to get that morning, locking it again once he'd walked inside. He showed up in the bedroom in his typical sport's wear turned into pyjamas, instantly rushing into bed and leaving a slow kiss on Kei's lips.

Kuroo moved away and stared at Kei's bashful face as he tried not to grin too mockingly.

"Sorry," Tsukishima whispered, looking down in shame.

Kuroo's giddy expression turned into confused worry in a quick shake of his head. "What are you sorry for?"

"I had to act all tough and say that I needed space when I didn't really know what I needed..."

Kuroo chuckled happily and kissed Kei's forehead, dismissing all of his concerns so casually. "There's a difference between trying to protect yourself from something you're not used to and trying to act tough."

Kei stared at Kuroo's shoulder and hummed in response. He was already used to Kuroo being near him and touching him distractingly, purposefully, always carefully. He had gotten used to it so alarmingly fast that he was now expecting and enjoying it, and maybe that was the thing that scared him. Kuroo didn't need to know that, though.

"I don't know how it is to prefer being alone," Kuroo admitted in a hushed voice, "but trust me, you never have to apologize for needing time to yourself and you absolutely don't have to apologize for changing your mind."

Kei bumped his forehead to Kuroo's shoulder to hide his face from his eyes.

"Why do you put up with this?" He asked, but regretted it as soon as it came out.

Kuroo's sigh was stern. "I don't know why you think that you're such a handful, because you're not. You don't have to be all passive and compliant, that's not what a relationship is."

Kei couldn't help the half-smile that shaped his lips. "Are we in a relationship?"

Kuroo cleared his throat and wiggled uncomfortably, only making Kei's smile grow wider. "I guess we did forget to talk about that, huh?"

"Yeah, and I mean, 2 days is short lived for a _thing_ to become a relationship, right?"

He was asking like he was hoping for Kuroo to say he was wrong, but there was still doubt in his voice. Kuroo knew neither of them were ready for that, no matter how much they wanted it.

"It is," Kuroo replied even though he really wanted to say it wasn't. "We can start by deciding if this is going to be an exclusive thing or not, and then... we go from there, I guess."

"I don't intend on pursuing anyone else since I know how much that stresses you out," Kei replied, his lips obviously still occupied by an evil smirk.

Kuroo nodded, because that was absolutely fair. "And I don't think I'm even capable of pursuing people anymore. This was an accident."

Kei had a sudden snarky laugh that made him sound like a villain, and Kuroo loved it. The more he thought about their predicament, the more he accepted it as an happy accident. His mother had always told him that he would find the right person without trying, without forcing anything. That gave him hope.

“Did you know that I was an accident?” Tsukishima asked, as if that was something that he went around and told everyone. Kuroo choked on air from how much that took him by surprise.

“What do you mean _you_ were an accident?”

Kei shrugged and giggled darkly some more. “You know how that happens, when a mommy and a daddy-“

“Oh, come on!” Kuroo cut him off way too loudly for that time of the night, but Kei had deserved it. He was now looking up at Kuroo with wide, joyful eyes.

“It’s true!” Tsukishima protested, making Kuroo laugh wholeheartedly at him. “I’m 7 whole years younger than my brother, my mom was 42 when she had me and my grandma once told me that she was surprised my parents had me because they’d told her they’d always wanted just one.”

“Well, then,” Kuroo replied as he shook his head in bafflement, “can I say that I’m glad your parents slipped up that one time or is that unsensitive?”

Kei smiled at him, and it was a real genuine happy smile with no anger or malice peeking through. “You can say that.”

“Okay,” Kuroo whispered before he dipped his head down and gave Kei a peck. “Is that comfortable for you if I hold you like that all night?”

Tsukishima settled next to Kuroo a bit more comfortably and put his head down on his chest before he answered. “Yeah, that’s great.”

Kuroo exhaled softly into Kei’s hair before he kissed the top of his head.

“Good night, Kei.”

“Good night,” Kei replied, relaxed out of his mind.

 

* * *

 

Kuroo was on his way to Kenma’s place after a brief stop at the store to get some cat treats for Hikari and Daku. Kenma didn’t live too far away from Kuroo’s place, so he walked there whenever he went to visit.

Kenma was waiting for him in the lobby as usual because the cats went crazy every time someone rang the doorbell. He greeted him with a wave and then, they were on their way up to Kenma’s apartment.

Kageyama and Hinata were sitting on the couch in the living room with the cats on their knees, and the TV was on but they were looking over their shoulders at the front door to welcome their guest.

“Is it TRUE?” Hinata yelled, making Daku jump from his knees in fear.

“Let him take his shoes off first,” Kenma drawled from the entrance, holding himself up against the sliding door of the closet as he took his own shoes off.

Kuroo laughed as he toed his shoes off. “Hi guys,” he said loudly so they would hear him.

“Hi,” Kageyama greeted distractingly, having already focused back on the TV.

Hinata, though, had walked up to them and started moving from one foot to the other as if he was trying to not pee his pants. “Hi,” he replied with a sneaky smile.

“I told you, if you want to ask your questions you have to be nice and sit calmly,” Kenma said, and he did sound like he had said it 20 times before but Hinata looked like he had pretended not to hear 20 times as well.

“I don’t know who you think you’re talking to, but you won’t get anything from him,” Kageyama mumbled just clearly enough to be understood. Hinata turned around to look at him and tried to wink but he ended up blinking.

Kuroo walked past the entrance, followed by Kenma and Hinata who were looking up at the back of his head fixedly.

“You didn’t tell me this would be an intervention,” Kuroo said before a nervous laugh escaped him.

Kenma rolled his eyes when he walked past him. “It wasn’t supposed to be. I asked them not to bother you, but they said there was no way this was happening. I did what I could.”

“Thanks,” Kuroo hissed between his teeth.

Hinata made his way to the couch again and jumped next to Kageyama, landing on his knees and bouncing on the cushions. “Alright, so, sit down.”

Kuroo glanced in Kenma’s way, alarmed and asking for help with his puppy dog eyes.

“Just sit down,” Kenma prompted with a swift tilt of the head towards the arm chair, appreciating the drama of it all even though he’d wanted Kuroo to think the opposite.

“Okay,” Kuroo replied, glaring at his friend as he sat down. He should’ve expected this, he had known Kenma for most of his life and he knew what Hinata and Kageyama were about. They had to talk about this one day, sure, but he felt like he was being tied to a chair with a gun pointed to his head.

Hinata seemed to be very happy to be there, his round cheeks pulled up by a mischievous smile. Kageyama was petting Hikaru on his lap, bringing his other hand patiently towards Hinata’s thigh to try to calm him down.

Hinata ignored the pressure on his thigh and kept bouncing softly on his knees. “So? Is it true?”

Kuroo stared him down with wide eyes and raised eyebrows. “What are you asking me?”

“Are you or are you not dating Tsukishima?” Hinata explained, annoyed by Kuroo’s act. He knew damn well what they were talking about! He knew exactly what the outrage was!

Kuroo smirked and lifted his chin just a little bit. “You know, technically, we discussed that very recently and we decided that we were exclusive, but not together. Not yet.”

“Not yet,” Hinata repeated in a suspicious voice, squinting dramatically. “So you want to date him? Like a real relationship? Tsukishima?”

Kuroo chuckled because he could not hold it in anymore. He didn’t know what was so unbelievable about it, but Hinata had always had this habit of exaggerating everything, so Kuroo did not care about his opinion on Kei.

“Yes,” he said directly, admitting it to himself without beating around the bush as much as he was admitting it to Hinata. “I don’t know why that’s so crazy to you.”

“Well!” Hinata started like he’d prepared a PowerPoint presentation with bullet points and arguments listed in alphabetical order and was ready to whip it out on a projector. “He’s a… he’s a meanie!”

“Very inspired,” Kenma commented as he watched Daku run through the living room and end up his journey with a jump on Kuroo’s lap.

Kageyama sighed as he leaned forward. “What Hinata is trying to say is that we’ve known him for years and we still haven’t found a redeemable quality about him.”

“Maybe you’ve known him for a long time, but when was the last time you saw him? School graduation? Randomly in passage? Last week at your secret fight club? Like what the fuck is up?”

Kageyama tried to stay as impassible as he could, but the glare of his impressionable nature shone in his eyes.

“Let’s not get angry,” Kenma said, his voice sounding chillingly calm. “You’re not fighting, you’re talking. Try to understand each other instead of trying to convince one another.”

Kuroo huffed angrily before he pulled out the cat treats from his jacket’s pockets and started giving some to Daku in silence. Hinata was still giving him the stink eye.

“That _is_ true, though. How long has it actually been since you’ve talked to him?” Kenma asked his boyfriends as they both looked at him in perfect synch.

“It was some years ago,” Hinata estimated while he thought more about the specifics. “Maybe 3, maybe 4.”

Kuroo tilted his head to the side and sighed very loudly. “Hasn’t it occurred to you that you just didn’t have compatible personalities? Or that he might’ve bettered his attitude?”

Kageyama exhaled sharply, which sounded too much like the beginning of a mocking laugh for Kuroo to ignore it.

“You know what, guys?” Kuroo started as he decided to metaphorically throw everything out of the window. “I never put my nose in your business when you decided to be the three of you together even though I didn’t always think it was a good idea, so I would appreciate it if you’d stop treating Tsukishima like garbage and gave me the benefit of the doubt.”

The three boys looked at him with the focus of a terrified woodland animal that’s about to sprint away, all of them speechless.

“Just wondering, Kageyama, but the way you knew him, would he ever had offered to just randomly pay the entirety of someone’s heat bill just because they wanted to be nice? Do you see him taking care of animals and crying his heart out when he gets a phone call that one of them passed away? I bet you fucking don’t.”

Kageyama shared a panicked looked with Hinata and Kenma as if he was asking for help, but neither of them knew how to respond to that.

“Alright, we’ve all had enough,” Kenma said while he stood up from where he had sat down and walked over to Kuroo. He grabbed him by the shoulders and squeezed softly.

“I guess you both got what you wanted, now you know it’s true and you can get over it. Kuroo and I are going to go play Fortnite so he can kill virtual people instead of murdering you two,” he continued in this unsettlingly solemn voice that kept Kageyama and Hinata dead quiet.

They nodded a couple of times as they watched them leave, and Hinata screamed bloody murder when Daku jumped back on him.

Once Kenma had closed the door of his gaming room, isolating him and Kuroo from the lurkers in the living room, Kuroo turned around and stared at him while he clenched his jaw.

“I’m sorry, I really did ask them not to bother you but I’m not their mom,” Kenma explained as he went to set the game up, unbothered by Kuroo’s burning glare on the back of his neck.

“You told me you trusted me, letting them talk to me like I’m fucking stupid doesn’t feel like you’re trusting me.”

Kenma sighed, but he still did not look in Kuroo’s direction. “Will you calm down? I don’t control what comes out of their mouths. If you think that they’re wrong, then fine, they’re wrong, but you told me yourself that you were gonna watch out for the signs and be more careful. You seem to think he can do no wrong suddenly.”

Kuroo took a deep breath before he replied, but his words got stuck in his throat and he kept quiet instead. Kenma was right, he was doing it again.

Brooding, he went to sit next to Kenma, dropping all his weight on the chair like a bag of potatoes. Kenma graced him with one quick glance, inhaling loudly to show his annoyance.

“He’s just so great when he’s alone with me, but I don’t know how he is with other people, that’s the problem. I know Bo likes him and he cleaned Oikawa’s puke from the floor which is something even I wouldn’t do, so he’s two for two so far, but that’s not much to go by. I’ve never met his friends, but I know he only has literally two friends. He has two friends, Kenma.”

Kenma hummed, deep in thought. “Well I guess he has five now, doesn’t he?”

Kuroo frowned and accepted the laptop that Kenma was handing him.

“Maybe all he needed was to be forced out of his shell. I agree with you, I’m sure he’s changed from when Shouyou and Tobio knew him.”

Kuroo looked at his friend and smiled sadly. He didn’t like how much that had affected him, how much hearing someone talk like this about the person he liked was hurting him on his behalf. Kenma’s positive outlook was making it all better, but it also made him wonder how many people out there hated Tsukishima and had no clue about what they were missing.

“Thanks,” Kuroo replied weakly.

Kenma pinched his lips, looked down and launched the game.

 

* * *

 

Kei was casually sitting in Kuroo's bed when he came back home, so he quickly put a bookmark in his book and took his glasses off. Kuroo had been working all day and spent the evening at Kenma's place, so he would probably be tired, but Kei's day off was tomorrow and he kind of hoped that he wouldn't have to go to bed at 9.

Kuroo walked in his bedroom and jumped a little bit when he saw Kei, but he laughed it off instantly.

"I forgot you'd be here," Kuroo said, but he was glad to find him there. He didn't want to go to sleep with Kageyama and Hinata's negativity fresh into his mind with nothing to offset it.

"Did you have a good night?" Kei asked after he got out from underneath the covers and sat cross-legged on the mattress.

Kuroo raised his eyebrows and tilted his head to the side. "I had an interesting night."

Kei watched as Kuroo changed and he hummed to incite him to explain.

“Hinata and Kageyama were there and they didn’t let me go easy,” Kuroo said with a shrug that he intended as nonchalant, but Kei could tell that he was bothered by something. “According to Hinata, you are a, quote, _big meanie_.”

Tsukishima grinned, tilting his head down to hide it a little bit, but he didn’t seem to be able to stop. “They’re the two dumbest people I’ve ever met.”

Kuroo was halfway done with taking his pants off, stopping mid hop with one leg still up in the air to glance at Kei interestedly. “They didn’t tell me why they didn’t like you. And you never explained why you knew them either.”

When Kei looked up, he was still vaguely smiling. “I know them from school. They were in my grade, it was insufferable.”

Kuroo had a chuckle, liking the venomous tone of voice Kei had slipped into. “Are they that bad? I’ve only known them as likable but kinda dumb.”

He finished changing, pulling on the cord of his sweatpants to tighten them before he walked up to the side of the bed and bent down to kiss the top of Kei’s head.

Tsukishima looked up with the remnants of a soft smile on his face. “I was forced to tutor them by my own mother and my teachers. They followed me to college, but I was blessed enough that they decided to drop out. I went through hell.”

Kuroo was starting to feel sorry for him, no matter how hard he tried to be the middle man. Kenma wouldn’t be proud of him, but in the comfort of his own bedroom with this beautiful boy in his bed, he cared a lot less about whatever Kenma thought.

“Well, I don’t know what you did to them, but they seemed to think it was absolutely inconceivable that I could like you even just a little bit.”

Kei rolled his eyes and let himself fall backwards, bouncing softly on the mattress. “I didn’t do anything specific, I’ve just spent years physically dying every time they opened their mouths and antagonising them every chance I got in return.”

Kuroo sat next to Kei on the bed, grabbing his hand and squeezing gently in support. “I don’t really care anyway, you can’t get along with everyone,” he said with a casual shrug. “And I like it when you’re feisty, so…”

Kei exhaled strongly and glared, unimpressed by Kuroo’s attempt at flattering him. Don’t get him wrong, he liked compliments, but his body did not know how to react to them, especially when they were as unusual as that one.

“What?” Kuroo asked defensively. “It’s true! You talked to me like I was trash the first time we met, and I kept coming back for more.”

Kei’s shoulders shook with laughter as his lips stretched into a mean-spirited smile.

Kuroo grinned and laid down on his side, staring right at Kei's face. "I can’t force you to get along with anyone, but you could use a little bit more positive thinking, though."

Kei rolled a little more to the side so he could take Kuroo's chin between his thumb and his index. "Probably, but no thank you," he said before he went for a quick kiss and moved back right after.

Kuroo grabbed his face and kept him in place, basically smashing their faces together when he kissed him like he deserved to be kissed. Kei laughed into the kiss at first, but he rapidly moved to put his arms around Kuroo's neck and snuggled closer to him, putting one leg between his and pressing every square inch of their chests together.

When they broke the kiss, they stayed glued together, playing softly with each other's hair and grinning dumbly.

"I don't know when you wanted to go to bed, but I would need a shower first, if you'd like to join me..."

Kuroo's squint turned his pure, happy smile into something a lot more daring. "Actually, could we go for a bath? Your bathtub must be big enough for two, and we can sleep at your place if you want."

Kei looked up at the ceiling and had a happy sigh. "Okay for the bath, but I want to sleep here," he explained before he focused his gaze on Kuroo's face again. "I want to be in your stuff tonight."

Kuroo's eyes widened and he nodded once in shock, as if he was silently asking if Tsukishima was serious. He didn't care that they were on a sad mattress flat down on the floor, he didn't care about Kuroo's poor cleaning skills, he just wanted to be in his environment and that was a very small thing for some, but it was a game changer for Kuroo.

They headed downstairs together and Kuroo brought a change of clothes and one of those bubble bars that Oikawa had bought for him last Valentine's day. " _If you're gonna be all alone, might as well treat yourself right,_ " he had said to explain himself.

Kuroo had not used them then because he wasn't much of the bath type of person, and he was glad he hadn't now.

They got in a very warm, almost overflowing bath, giggling the entire time that they tried to find a way to both fit in there comfortably. The tub was deep, but it wasn't especially wide, so it proved to be slightly harder to both fit in there than they had expected.

Kei had to lie on top of Kuroo, lying down on his hip between Kuroo’s legs. They giggled like children while they played with foam and kissed for so long that they had to add some warm water to the bath that had gotten too cold.

They also might’ve given each other a blow job, but you couldn’t blame them for that.

 

* * *

 

Kuroo was working early on Wednesday morning, so Kei woke up alone in his bed around 10 am to his phone flashing with a new notification, informing him that it apparently was Kuroo's birthday today. Once he properly woke up and got over the fact that, without Facebook, he wouldn't have known about it, he started thinking about what he could do. Back in September, he hadn't told Kuroo about his birthday because he didn't think it was relevant to the relationship that they had at the time. The only interaction he had had with him on his birthday had been a gracious offer of not enough money, which, don't get him wrong, was all that he had really wanted from him.

But now. Now he wanted a whole bunch of confusing things from him, and at every new thing that he got, he ached to have another right away. He was hungry, and he never seemed to be sated. One could even say that he was "thirsty", if one was 17 years old.

He spent most of the day reading, checking Kuroo’s sheet music book and planning a night out with Yamaguchi on the phone. He wondered if he should be baking something for Kuroo’s birthday since he wasn’t too bad at it (when you gave him an actual muffin pan), but he figured that he should just slowly be getting ready for later. He texted Kuroo a little bit while he was in the bathroom brushing his teeth, pretending that he was feeling under the weather and that he didn’t want too intense of a night. Little did this poor boy know.

When Kuroo finally texted him to tell him that he was on his way home, Kei wondered if he should stay in his apartment downstairs or go wait for him in Kuroo’s place. Considering what he wanted to do, he figured that it’d be better to stay home for tonight. He had everything they’d need, and he knew where it was precisely. Going over to Kuroo’s would probably not be the best idea since he hadn’t had sex in more than a year and would surely end up looking for lube and an unexpired condom for an embarrassingly long time.

So, he finished cleaning up, got half-naked and waited in bed. He still felt like this was a good idea, and he still wanted to do it very much, but now that he was putting his plan in the works, he felt a bit silly. Kuroo would ask so many questions, he could already see it coming. He would blush and stutter and stand there like an idiot, but Kei liked him, so it wouldn’t be too bad.

It was almost 18:30 when Kuroo arrived, letting himself in Kei’s place like he owned it. He loudly let his bag and coat fall on the floor next to the door and called out for Tsukishima, venturing further into the apartment when he heard nothing in return. He checked the bathroom, the kitchen and the living room, and Kei could see him through the small crack he’d left in the door, looking around like a lost child. When he finally turned towards the bedroom door and caught Kei’s gaze on the other side, he squinted and walked forward.

He pushed the door open and stood on the threshold, asking all the questions that Kei had expected with nothing but his eyes.

“Happy birthday,” Kei said from the bed, letting both his motivation and intentions known with just the tone of his voice. Kuroo’s eyes widened comically.

“Oh,” Kuroo choked out, quickly biting his lower lip to let out some of his sudden nervousness. “Thank, uh, thank you.”

He walked to the bed a bit hesitantly, exhaling loudly when he was halfway there which made Kei chuckle. He was so easy to destabilize.

Tsukishima sat straighter against the headboard and reached his hand up to take his glasses off, and he was painfully aware that he was conditioning Kuroo to be turned on whenever he took his glasses off, but he failed to see it as much of an inconvenience. Kuroo sat next to him on the bed, his legs dangling off the edge and swinging nervously.

“Did you have anything planned tonight?” Kei asked, pretending like the hand he had just put on Kuroo’s thigh was an innocent one.

Kuroo looked down at Kei’s hand, then back at his face. “Not tonight, Oikawa said that we would celebrate Friday. Since Iwa came back yesterday they’re, you know… probably busy.”

“Perfect,” Kei commented, trying to sound the least suggestive that he could. He felt like he was maybe being too much, and he didn’t want to scare Kuroo off.

“Hum,” Kuroo started before he cleared his throat, staring down at his own lap, “what is all that about?” He ended his question with a vague hand movement toward the whole of Kei’s body, but especially stalling around the half that was under the comforter.

“What do you think it’s about?” Kei replied, sounding less inviting than he did annoyed. He didn’t know if Kuroo was playing dumb or if he really had no idea what was going on still.

Kuroo shrugged and looked up just a little bit, and he was pinching his lips to keep from smiling. Okay then, definitely playing dumb. “I don’t know, maybe you like hanging around in bed naked at dinner time for fun?”

Now that Kei was sure that Kuroo was not that dumb, nor that he was terrified by the pressure of performing so suddenly, he decided to get cheekier. “I kept my underwear on so you’d have something to take off with your teeth,” he said with a straight face and a disinterested shrug, which shouldn’t have turned Kuroo on, but it did.

The next second, Kuroo was on top of him, holding his face in his hands so he wouldn’t move and kissing him so deeply that it almost hurt to have their faces pressed so hard together. Kei hummed in a delighted way, but with an extra tongue in his mouth, it sounded more like a moan, which Kuroo particularly appreciated if the way his thighs squeezed harder on either side of Kei’s pelvis was anything to go by.

Their lips came apart just for Kuroo to put his’ on Kei’s face just as soon, kissing his cheeks and his temples and just underneath his brows and all around the hairline on his forehead. “Have you been waiting to do this all day?” He asked in between two kisses on either side of Kei’s mouth.

“Yes,” Kei replied, chasing Kuroo’s lips with his just to feel his tongue heavy in his mouth again, just to feel his lips warm on the outside and the inside, just to feel the bite of his teeth on the softness of his eager mouth. They’d joked at first, about Kuroo turning him into a kissing monster, but he actually had.

When they moved apart again, they were both heaving, but Kuroo’s hands were relentless through the exertion, pushing the comforter away from in between them and putting his hands under the last garment on Kei’s body just to feel the warmth of his skin against his fingers.

“And I thought I’d save time by getting ready before you came home,” Tsukishima added once he caught his breath and was able to say more than two words in a row.

Kuroo stared right into his eyes with a soft squint, but he went to kiss Kei’s neck instead of asking questions when the latter tried smiling innocently at him.

“Which means you can fuck me,” he concluded, his smile turning wicked as he waited for Kuroo’s reaction.

Kuroo lifted his head up from where he had been leaving a trail of kisses on Kei’s neck, looking nothing like Kei had expected him to. He was frowning severely; his gaze was full of an angry heat and his jaw was softly clenching.

“What?” Kei asked, startled by the response.

“Do you think I just want to _fuck_ you?” Kuroo pondered as if there was nothing more absurd, as if he was insulted by the assumption.

Kei chuckled nervously, because he had no idea what the fuck was going on and he was getting extremely uneasy. “What, do you want to _make love_ to me?” His tone was mocking.

Kuroo wiggled a little bit on top of him to sit more comfortably, looking to the side so their eyes wouldn’t meet. “Yeah?”

Kei blinked as he stared at Kuroo’s dumb hair, truly taken aback. It’s not like he’d thought that he was just going to stick it in and bust and then they’d go back to their lives, but he also didn’t think that there were feelings to groom while they did this. It’s not like he ever had to think about that before.

“Are you angry because you think I just want sex out of you?” Kei asked, unexpectedly feeling extremely raw and shaky all of a sudden.

When Kuroo looked back up, he wasn’t holding his jaw closed so tightly anymore and his gaze had gotten much softer, calmer. He grabbed Kei’s face again so he could feel him, maybe ground him and make him feel better all at once.

“No,” he answered in a whisper, “I just… the way you said it was so weird, I don’t know. I thought, since it’s my birthday, maybe you thought I just wanted to use you and I’d be fine with that, but I’m not. This is absolutely out of the question.”

Tsukishima didn’t know if there was anything to say to that. He closed his eyes and focused on the softness of Kuroo’s fingers on his face, sighing as his heart rate slowed down slowly from its panicked high.

“This is something we’re doing together, I’m not having my way with you, that’s not how it’s gonna work. I want to treat you right, I want to do things to you that no one’s ever done before.”

Kei nodded once, looking only at Kuroo’s lips as he did. He wanted him so bad, no matter the way he wanted to have him.

“You need to understand that it isn’t special because it’s sex, but it’s special because it’s with you,” Kuroo said, his voice dropping to a whisper again. Kei’s gaze jumped from Kuroo’s lips to his eyes when he heard that, watching him in awe.

“Oh,” was the only thing he could reply.

Kuroo chuckled softly, grabbing one of Kei’s thigh in his hands and moving his own legs from around to in between Kei’s legs. Both of their pelvises were aligned now, and Kuroo’s face seemed to be much closer.

“I’m not gonna let go of you, I’m gonna keep my hands on you the entire time just to feel you, just to keep you there,” Kuroo continued as he dipped his head down, pressing down some light kisses on Kei’s collarbones once he stopped talking.

“I’m not moving,” Kei assured him, for now and for later. He had no intention of moving from there, not now that Kuroo was in the right mood.

“And I’ll kiss you, I won’t stop kissing you, your face, your neck, your chest, your thighs-“

Tsukishima cut him off with a sharp kiss, not because he didn’t want to hear him anymore, but because he couldn’t contain himself. He had been yearning for this all fucking day, but he had never expected that Kuroo running his mouth could make this want so much more violent, like it was cutting through his skin with a burning blade.

Kuroo seemed to be adamant to keep talking though, because he moved away from the kiss as his hands grabbed at both of Kei’s hips, a secure hold that seemed satisfying enough for Kuroo who grinned against Kei’s lips.

“I’ll listen to you, I’ll do whatever you want,” he kissed Tsukishima again before he kept going, “I’ll make you wonder why you ever settled for anything less.”

Kei blinked his eyes open at that, but Kuroo was kissing him again, muffling whatever thought he was going to voice about that. Why, Kei knew exactly why he had settled for so little in his life. The plastic feeling of someone touching him and praising him made his brain go on a weird tangent, like he was worth something and like he was loved because he was desired. It was surprisingly safe, not fulfilling in the least, but was anyone out there really fulfilled? Maybe he was about to find out.

Kuroo was biting his ear lobe now, which sparked small electric-like burst on his skin. He felt his entire skin fill with goosebumps, and he couldn’t help the pleased exhale that he let out as Kuroo’s hands moved from his hips to his lower back.

“I like you too much to give you anything else,” Kuroo said near Kei’s ear, making him actually shudder with emotion. “I’ll do it slow and gentle like nothing you ever thought you wanted.”

“Romantic,” Kei commented with a nervous laugh, because he was on the edge of begging him to do it already, but he knew it would defeat the purpose. He just had to keep it in for now and let himself be guided through this new world of good, slow sex without jumping the gun. It felt exhilarating to wait in a strange way, because he knew that it would be that much better once he got what he wanted.

“I _am_ romantic,” Kuroo replied proudly, pressing one more kiss on the ridge of Kei’s jaw, just where the bone rounded up into his skull. He followed up the line, leaving kisses all along.

Kei liked the way lips felt on his skin. It was overwhelming because of all the attention and care Kuroo put in each kiss, but it was the good kind of overwhelming.

Tetsurou took his hands off of Kei’s lower back so he could take his shirt off, sliding it over his head with ease and a little bit of haste. Kei watched intently, holding back from biting his lower lip and making Kuroo feel too good about himself.

Tetsurou then unbuttoned his pants and unzipped them, alleviating the constraints on his hardness that was taking more and more room. Kei’s fingers darted on the hem of the pants, hooking his fingers through the belt hoops at the front and pulling him closer. Kuroo chuckled, going to kiss him as he started slipping the garment down to take it off.

They were both only in their underwear now, straining the fabric with how hot and bothered they had gotten each other. Kuroo started kissing down Kei’s chest, looking up at him so he would see his eyes, getting some sort of kick out of that. He left smile-shaped kisses on his way, even laughing softly when Kei’s hands got lost in his hair. Once he got to the promised land, he put his mouth on Kei’s dick that was just slightly peeking out of his briefs. Kei inhaled sharply and clenched his fists in Kuroo’s hair, taken over by the ghost feeling of this same mouth around his length just last night, swallowing around him as he came. He had a full body shiver as he let himself slide from his seated position, Kuroo grabbing both of his legs and pulling him closer to allow him to lay down.

He started taking Tsukishima’s underwear off, biting where it sat on the inside of his thigh and pulling back as he helped himself by putting both of his hands under the fabric, on Kei’s ass, to push it off a little bit more. He finished taking it off with his teeth as he had been promised he could do, and when that playful little teasing ended, a new hunger animated Kuroo’s gaze.

He sunk his teeth superficially into the skin of his calf and moved up, biting delicately as he hiked Kei’s leg up over his shoulder. The scrape of teeth turned into the smoothness of lips when he got to the tender part of Kei’s thigh, sucking gently as he obviously tried to mark his territory. Kei had both of his hands plastered to his face when Kuroo took his balls into his mouth, one at a time, curling his tongue softly around them just enough to wake the butterflies in the bottom of his stomach.

Kuroo casted Kei a questioning look, and as if he read his mind, Kei handed him the bottle of lube that he had hidden underneath his pillow after he’d been done loosening himself up earlier.

Kuroo accepted it with a smile, pushing himself up so he would be high up on his knees between Kei’s legs, making it easier to hold his leg up and have access to his entrance.

He pressed the cap open and squeezed some of the product onto his fingers, spreading it and warming it up before he moved on to other things. He knew most of the work was already done, but there was no way he wouldn’t appreciate the pleasure of getting Kei just a little bit readier for him, just a tad bit more open. He kind of wished that Tsukishima hadn’t taken that matter into his own hands, but at the same time, he was very grateful for the time-saver.

His fingers eased in rapidly, and he couldn’t help but kiss the soft gasps that were now coming out of Kei’s mouth as Kuroo moved his fingers expertly. Kei was surprisingly flexible, what with his leg still hanging over Kuroo’s shoulder as they kissed without a single protest or resistance out of him. Something to test the limits of, Kuroo thought as he slipped his tongue in Kei’s mouth and tasted more of his soft sounds.

It didn’t take too long before Tetsurou figured that Kei was ready enough for him, since he had probably already been. It was still satisfying to feel him clench around his fingers, to hear him moan as he moved the digits inside of him. He could get off to that memory no problem, he wasn’t even ashamed to admit that.

Tsukishima’s condoms were put away in the drawer of his bedside table, so he reached to get them when Kuroo pulled his fingers out. He was getting impatient, Kuroo could tell, but he still wanted to pepper him with kisses all over his stomach before he’d even think about getting down to business. Kei’s skin felt so smooth against his lips, and it smelled so disturbingly good that Kuroo felt like he was getting high on it. He thought that saying as much couldn’t hurt.

“You smell so fucking good,” he praised between kisses, making Kei chuckle dryly at the remark. Kuroo loved feeling the tension of his muscles under his mouth, the quick jut of his skin where his abs contracted that he got to feel so sharply.

He reached for the box of condoms that Kei had dropped on the bed next to him, moving back from kissing his stomach to sitting straight on his heels. He opened the box, saw that more than a couple were missing and tried not to think too much about it as he ripped the package of one and put it on. Kei took a pillow to put under his head just to see better, wiggling a little to get into a comfortable position. Kuroo grinned as he bit his lower lip, taking the bottle of lube again and pressing the cap open once more.

Once he was adequately coated, he closed the cap and discarded the bottle next to the box of condom. He didn’t care where they ended up, all he cared about was the beautiful boy with his legs open in front of him.

Kuroo had not even pushed in a _little bit_ and Kei was already taking in one of the deepest and noisiest inhale Kuroo had even witnessed in his life. He kept smiling down at him as he barely pushed down on his dick to guide it in the right direction and thrusted his hips forward as slow as he could, watching the facial journey Kei was going through as he did so. It was worth it just for that, really.

He dropped down to kiss him again after he’d let his leg down from where he had hiked it up, basically eating his mouth as Kei crossed his arms behind his neck and pulled him down, closer, more tongue, more.

There was no hurry, and Kuroo didn’t want to hurt Tsukishima in any way, so he stayed buried deep inside as he gave him probably the worst kiss of his life, but they both loved it, rejoiced in it, depended on the other’s lips.

Kei’s legs were now bent at the knee on either side of Kuroo’s body, framing him in place in the loveliest of prisons. Kuroo had both of his hands on Kei’s thighs, stroking his skin slowly, letting his nails drag a little bit when he moved up his thigh.

Carefully, he drew back, took in the prettiness of the drawn-out sigh that had come out of Kei’s mouth, and thrusted back in. Kei forced his eyes shut and let out a noise that almost sounded like a cry, but a delighted one. Kuroo couldn’t help but bask in his beauty and smile at him, always more lovingly.

He picked up a pace, digging his fingers in Kei’s hips and upper thighs to keep him right there, where it was so easy to move inside of him, where he got an unbelievable sound out of him every time he so much as moved his hips a millimeter towards him.

Tsukishima became more fidgety, greedy for more and trying to wiggle his way to that feeling. Kuroo laughed at the adorableness, picking up one of his legs and leaving a trail of kisses from his knee to his ankle, keeping him from moving his pelvis too much.

“Don’t be too hasty,” Kuroo murmured with his cheek still pressed to Kei’s leg, pulling all the way out and right back in when he’d stopped talking. Kei let out a throaty noise and threw his head backwards, elongating his neck to its maximum.

Kuroo had never expected to do this so right, so he had no idea where this was coming from, but he felt like he could make this boy come 3 times in a row if he had to, he could do him for hours with short 15 minutes break, he could do this for a day straight. Kei was intoxicating, and Kuroo had been bewitched by his omnipresent sexual energy from the day they met, but now he was the one in control and he realized it didn’t make him feel small as he had expected it to. Tsukishima Kei was a lot, but Kuroo Tetsurou was plenty.

Forgetting about his previous warning, Kuroo let Kei push down greedily so he would get it harder and deeper. He didn’t mind that Kei was trying to get his fun quickly, as long as he knew that this wasn’t everything there was to it. Kuroo felt like they were in a bubble, linked together and buzzing with electricity, and he knew Kei felt it too. This wasn’t just sex, and that might screw them up later, but for now all they had to do was throw themselves to the wolves.

Kuroo’s hands went up Kei’s sides, pressing down against his ribcage and brushing past the front of his chest. He caved underneath his fingers, supplying every move to meet him halfway, harder, closer, grasping for more. Kuroo put his mouth on his chest, darting his tongue out and tasting his salty skin with a pleased sigh. That boy was going to make him crazy, especially with that heady scent filling his nose.

Kei’s hands were back in Kuroo’s hair, combing his fingers through as Kuroo pounded into him. His thighs were hugging Tetsurou close, squeezing him close and tensing against his hips to let him know what a good job he was doing. Kuroo straightened back up, grabbing two handfuls of Kei’s thighs and going with long, deep strokes. Kei was coming undone under him, so he had to think about the way he was going to wrap this up properly.

Kei’s breathing was becoming even more choked up, and his small moans sounded more like whimpers now. Kuroo also couldn’t keep out a couple of appreciative grunts as he moved his hips sharply now, keeping his eyes shut and focusing on Kei’s voice and his soft clenching.

Kuroo let his hands travel all the way from Kei’s lower stomach to his shoulders, following down his arms and intertwining their fingers together. Kei held on so tight that it hurt a little bit, but Kuroo didn’t care at all. He kind of liked it, actually.

Kei’s legs wrapped up behind Kuroo in a desperate attempt to keep him where he was for as long as possible, so Kuroo figured he was probably close now. Really, he didn’t even need to tell him. He was breathing as hard as if he’d just ran 10 miles, he was almost crushing both of Kuroo’s hands and his heels were digging so hard into the small of his back they would surely leave marks.

“You feel so good,” Kuroo whispered, speaking so close to his chest that Kei felt his exhale on his skin. “You’re so fucking gorgeous, you’re gonna make me come so hard.”

Kei pinched his lips together and hummed, squeezing even harder on Kuroo’s hands now. He was relentless, pushing Kuroo inside of him with his heels, feeling like he was going to explode every time he hit the right spot. He couldn’t help but think that, if that was how in tune they were with each other right away, he couldn’t wait for when they would truly know their ways around each other’s bodies.

Kuroo let go from one of his hands but held on strong to the other, bringing his now free and slightly hurting hand to Kei’s dick and pulling up once. That got such an ungodly loud noise out of Kei’s mouth that he slapped his own hand over it, biting in his middle finger to keep himself from crying out any more.

“Kuroo,” he wheezed out between his fingers, and it sounded like he was close to crying when Kuroo had to stop and put another dollop of lube on the condom if he didn’t want to end up forcing himself in, “I swear to God, I hahhhhh-“

That sharp intake of air had coincided with the moment Kuroo had chosen to push back in, so it’s with a proud smile that Kuroo kept doing exactly what he had been doing: giving hard, precise thrusts as he twisted his slick hand around Kei’s length.

Tsukishima’s dick was leaking clear liquid that dripped down Kuroo’s fingers, and he got the strange urge to lick it off, so that’s what he did under Kei’s fascinated gaze. When he brought his hand back, he thought he heard a small “holy fuck” coming from Kei’s wrecked throat, and that only made him smile wider.

Kei’s reserve was holding by a thread, so Kuroo gave in, jacking him off as efficiently as he could as he moved into him steadily. Kei seemed to be in a new level of ecstasy at every second that passed, and it all accrued to an intense finish.

“I’m,” Tsukishima moaned, incompletely alerting Kuroo, but he didn’t need to give more information. Kuroo just did what he had to do, feeling his own orgasm being dangerously close as he gave Kei his’.

Kei was staring up into his eyes when he tipped over, holding his breath abruptly a second before he came on Kuroo’s hand and stomach. In a flash, Kuroo’s lips were on Kei’s lips, kissing hungrily as Tsukishima’s body shook with pleasure. He breathed in suddenly, digging his nails in the back of Kuroo’s hand slightly as the last tremors washed over his body.

Kuroo followed suit, brought to his finish by the way Kei instinctually clenched around him. He took in a jerky breath and his legs shook so violently that he couldn’t hold himself up anymore. He collapsed between Kei’s legs, breathing rapidly in the crook of his neck.

They laid together, unmoving, for what must’ve been ten whole minutes. They only had to move because Kuroo was becoming a bit too heavy for Tsukishima, and he had to pull out one day.

Once they were both sprawled on their backs, naked and almost panting still, Kuroo laughed out of the blue and lifted his hand up in the air. “I think you broke my hand.”

Kei laughed silently, his shoulders shaking slightly. After a short silence, he parted his lips and looked to the side to see Kuroo’s face. “You were right about everything.”

Kuroo turned his head to the side and smiled gently, reaching with his hurting hand to grab Kei’s offending hand again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> YAS GOD
> 
> Hello everyone how are you doing lovely people  
> This was so fun!  
> Give me your impressions so I can think about them for months on end  
> I am also on [twitter](http://twitter.com/megabitch2001) and [tumblr](http://sandgoddess.tumblr.com) and on linkedIn and google+


	13. Sickness

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lmao how have y'all been  
> I'm great thanks

Oikawa was pointing a finger at Kuroo, burning him down with a glare squeezed out of almost-shut eyes.

“Don’t go there, young man,” he warned, but his voice was far less grave than his demeanor had been. “I’m not kidding, it’s a sensitive subject!”

Kuroo kept laughing, no matter how hard he was trying to do what his new friend was asking him to. He had to find out what the problem was. “What did he do to you? Did he tell you he didn’t believe in aliens?”

“Fuck you,” Oikawa said through a sudden fit of laughter before he reached for his drink and too a long sip. “I just don’t take it very well when someone tries to steal my man.”

Kuroo, who had been drinking when the bomb was dropped, choked on his beer and hurried to wipe it off his face. Oikawa was really claiming that Kageyama was a homewrecker? What world was this? What year was it?

“You can’t just say something like that! What the fuck!” Kuroo yelled while Oikawa smirked knowingly. “Explain!”

Oikawa raised one eyebrow and drank in silence, exuding the purest of problematic energies. “Okay, so you know that I used to go to this volleyball camp in the summer with Iwa-chan and-“

“No, I did not know that, you’ve never told-“

“-And. The last year we went, we were the oldest ones there, so they hired us as assistant coaches. We were almost 18 and little boy Tobio was freshly 15. And he _kinda_ played better than me and that made me super mad, but I don’t care anymore.”

Kuroo gave Oikawa one nod as he pretended to believe him. Kuroo had only met Kageyama once and he’d been an awkward lanky boy, following Hinata around everywhere he went with a confused look on his face.

“I saw how he looked up to Iwa-chan, always staring up at him like he was a God. I’m not saying he was wrong, but there are things that only I am allowed to do, you know?”

Kuroo nodded his head yes to validate Oikawa, but he only wanted him to keep going.

“One day, it’s like he flipped his switch. It’s like it had never been about Iwa at all, and he was all over me. I knew what he was doing, I’m not stupid, but... okay, so, back then I thought the idea of me and Iwa-chan being together one day was absurd, believe it or not, so I kind of… let him play me like a fool.”

Kuroo frowned and leaned forward, resting his elbows on his knees. This was taking some turns he had not expected. “What do you mean?” he asked his neighbour.

“I played his game? We started kind of fooling around and we were both just trying to make Iwa jealous and it worked a little bit, so we didn’t stop… and then I realised that maybe I did not really think that this was all vain, but he made it pretty clear to me that it had always been a game for him.”

Kuroo was not following anymore, and Oikawa was getting tired of looking at his dumb face. “Wait, so, you both stooped to the same level but _he_ was the only one in the wrong?”

“I got attached,” Oikawa said to defend himself, and Kuroo could tell from the way his voice shook slightly that he was not lying. “I thought that if I couldn’t have Iwa, at least he was… I could… anyway. He just wanted to use me.”

Kuroo could hardly believe that the boy who was now dating the sweetest and purest person he had ever met could do such a thing. Sure, that had happened years ago, and he’d been young and foolish, but it just didn’t mesh. He wasn’t about to call Oikawa a liar though, he gave him the benefit of the doubt.

“I won in the long run though so… yay, I guess,” Oikawa concluded as he raised his glass.

Kuroo chuckled as he clinked their glasses together, still trying to wrap his head around all of that new information. He’d only known Oikawa for a couple of months, and that didn’t mean that he wasn’t trusting him, but Kenma was an excellent judge of character, so he probably wouldn’t be dating an asshole.

They changed the subject and kept drinking, but Oikawa’s story didn’t leave Kuroo’s mind for the entire evening.

 

* * *

 

Kuroo woke up with Kei’s arm covering his eyes, his hand dangling limply over his ear. He picked his arm up and moved it to the side while he had a tired chuckle at the sight of Kei. He was breathing with his mouth open, drooling on his pillow, and his other arm was sprawled on the side just as the other one had been on top of Kuroo’s face. His eyebrows were furrowed, making him seem angry in his sleep. Maybe he was dreaming of doing his taxes, Kuroo thought.

He checked the time on his phone and decided that it wouldn’t be too bad for them to wake up at 9am. If Tsukishima was really against getting up already, Kuroo could bring him breakfast in bed. He would use Kei’s food and Kei’s appliances, but he still felt like it would be a nice thing to do.

Kuroo shook Kei’s shoulder until he woke up, blinking confused eyes as he became more and more awake. The first sound out of his mouth was a groan of pain.

“Morning,” Kuroo said after a quick laugh. Last night had been a _bit_ eventful, so Kuroo was not blaming Kei for being cranky.

Kei tried to sniff but his nose seemed to be stuffed, and when he tried to reply, no sound came out initially.

“Fuck,” he finally croaked out with the voice of a man that has been smoking for 50 years. “What did you do?”

Kuroo glared at him in confusion, refusing to take any of the blame for Kei’s new aggressive cold. “I’m not sick, so I didn’t do that to you! YOU destroyed my hand though!”

Kei looked down at Kuroo’s hand and had to agree that the bruises all over it were definitely his doing, but his head felt like it was going to explode, and he had to put the blame on someone or something.

“Ugh, I can’t go to work like this,” Kei moaned as he rolled to the other side, away from Kuroo’s eyes. Kuroo laughed, grabbing him by the shoulder and forcing him to roll back in the spot he’d been in.

“You need to check if you’re having a fever,” Kuroo said authoritatively so Tsukishima would take him seriously.

“You absorbed my health. You’re a succubus and you took my life force.”

Okay, so this ‘being taken seriously’ thing wasn’t going to happen. Kuroo sighed and left the bed to go look for a thermometer. For a cold to start so violently, it either had to be quite a mean one, or it was something else entirely.

He came back with a towel soaked in cold water and an oral thermometer that he’d found in the cabinet of the bathroom, handing both of the items to Kei as soon as he’d walked back up to the bed.

Tsukishima took them, instantly sticking the thermometer into his mouth as he stared at Kuroo, annoyed. He brought the towel to his forehead and had a small appreciative hum when the coldness touched his skin.

“So?” Kuroo asked as soon as the thermometer beeped, knowing full well that neither of them had had the time to read the results. Kei glared at him with a failing resolve, becoming more and more aggravated. His fuse was even shorter when his nose was stuffed.

“Huh,” Kei breathed as he checked the number on the digital screen.

Kuroo could read it from where he stood, and his wince confirmed what Kei thought.

“Just so you know, I blame the lack of heating at your place,” Kei announced, making Kuroo roll his eyes. Sure, he was going to ignore the fact that the recent wave of extreme cold had probably made half of the city wake up with a cold.

Kuroo grinned, squatting down to be at Kei’s level. “I would be sick too if that was the cause,” he replied smugly before he left a quick peck on Kei’s lips.

“Don’t kiss me, you’re gonna catch it too,” Kei yelped as he brought his hand to shield his mouth.

“Considering what we did last night, I’ve already caught it,” Kuroo said with a shrug, watching with a side-smile as Kei lowered his hand from his mouth in defeat. He noticed that there was a bit of pink on his cheeks now too.

The next time Kuroo leaned forward to give Kei a quick kiss, he did not move away or protest. Instead, he pushed back, bringing more pressure and closeness to the kiss.

When they moved apart, Kei looked down and took a deep breath. “I can’t fucking breathe,” he explained, making Kuroo explode from laughter.

Kuroo tackled him and they both fell backwards, Kuroo still giggling and Kei groaning as he endured multiple kinds of pain.

“You’re gonna kill me,” Kei warned in a dull voice, only succeeding in amusing Kuroo even more.

They moved to a more comfortable position, cuddling together on the wrong side of the bed as Kei breathed with his mouth open and Kuroo stared at him with an unhealthy mocking fascination.

“You’re gonna call in sick?” Kuroo asked to establish what had been mentioned previously.

Kei shrugged and buried his face in Kuroo’s neck. “Yeah, I don’t feel like I should be going anywhere.”

His voice had warmed up a little bit the more he woke up, but it was still raspy and raw. His throat surely felt like it was on fire.

“I’ll stay too,” Kuroo replied lightly, not expecting the reaction he was about to get at all.

Kei moved away from Kuroo and held himself up over him as he stared down at him like he was about to give in to animalistic impulses. “No, you are absolutely not.”

Kuroo felt a shiver go down his spine in fear. Tsukishima’s raw power was still as mesmerizing as it had been the day he’d first met him.

“Why… not?” Kuroo asked tentatively.

Kei tilted his head to the side, and just that’s all it took for him to become even more menacing. “Because I can take care of myself and I’m not going to keep you from going to work because I woke up with a little fever.”

He was caring aggressively, which Kuroo honestly was weak to. He smiled dumbly and pretended like he wasn’t getting what Kei really meant, that Kuroo needed all the money he could get, and that Kei wasn’t about to keep him from getting that in any way conceivable. Kei frowned even more because he knew what Kuroo was doing perfectly well.

“I still don’t want to leave you alone here while you’re sick, not because I don’t think you take care of yourself, but because I’d like to do it for you.”

“I’m not testing you,” Kei said impatiently, getting a confused look from Kuroo. “I’m not telling you that I want you to go to work because I want you to be all chivalrous and choose to stay for me by your own will. I’m asking you not to stay.”

“I hear that,” Kuroo recognised, but he clearly didn’t give a single shit.

Kei sighed before he let himself fall back down on Kuroo’s side, making him grown in pain. Served him right.

“What time do you work?”

Kuroo gave Kei a quick look, silently asking him to stop trying. “2pm.”

“Well, let’s say if I’m better by 1pm you’ll go to work?”

Kuroo chuckled as he began running his fingers through Kei’s soft hair. “Better how? Do you think you’ll magically heal?”

“If I take my temperature and it’s under 39.”

Kuroo shrugged and pressed a kiss to Kei’s temple. “Sure,” he said airily.

Kei knew that he hadn’t meant it at all.

 

* * *

 

It was 2pm and Kuroo was singing nursery rhymes to a beautiful boy that had fallen asleep into his arms after finding out that he still had a fever of 39. When he had called Kiyoko to explain the situation, he could hear how much she was figuring out just then in her voice. Everything probably made sense to her suddenly.

The TV was on but the sound was off. They had moved to the living room after noon because Kei couldn’t stand to stay in that bed for one more second. The first thing he did when he got to the living room was to lie down on the couch, but it was still a good effort.

Kuroo had time to think about what they had done now that he was alone with his thoughts. Some doubts had been planted into him by outsiders before, but now he was sure of himself. He wanted an official relationship now, and he would give Kei the time he would need, but he felt compelled to let his intentions be known.

They were still learning and growing, but it was undeniable that something important was happening between them already.

Kuroo wanted to get some warm soup ready for when Kei would wake up again, so he stood up from the couch, gave Kei a blanket and went to the kitchen. He started a pre-packed chicken noodle soup and added chopped vegetables that he found in the fridge. He was almost done when he heard the evocative sniffling of Kei trying to breathe through his stuffed nose, which meant he’d woken up.

He brought him a bowl and sat with him on the couch again, holding him around the waist to keep him warm as he ate.

“Thank you,” Kei said in a hushed voice.

Kuroo kissed the side of Kei’s head in response and held him tighter when he let himself sink against Kuroo’s chest.

Kei stared right ahead as he ate his soup and wondered why he was deserving this, or what it meant, or why it mattered. He had fought against it, but he loved the attention.

“Did you make anything for yourself?” Kei asked when he was halfway done with his bowl.

“No,” Kuroo replied, implying in his tone that it didn’t matter. Kei pushed his shoulder into Kuroo’s chest to express his disappointment.

“Well, you can. Just take whatever,” Kei said as he shrugged to show how little he actually cared about it. Kuroo still owed him more than half of the month’s rent on the 18th, so letting him have a cereal bar was nothing after that.

They spent the rest of the afternoon on the couch, eating snacks and watching animal documentaries. They cuddled with the blanket around them even though Kuroo wasn’t cold at all, and that provided Kei with even more warmth.

When the fever hit again, and Kei couldn’t even stand to keep his sweater on, Kuroo left him to cool down and sat at his keyboard that they’d set up underneath the living room’s window. He played for a while, looking over his shoulder every 5 minutes to see what Kei was doing. He was mostly lying down with his eyes closed, not sleeping but clearly listening.

They went to bed and talked for a while after that, and Kuroo giggled while Kei made him swear that he wouldn’t skip work to take care of him again the next day. He had work early and it was a full 8 hours, he absolutely could not miss that. He didn’t want to keep Kuroo away from his life, but he mostly didn’t want to put him in even more of a financial crunch.

“I gotta say we had a nice day though,” Kei admitted when Kuroo stopped laughing, looking down between them so their eyes wouldn’t meet.

Kuroo smiled warmly, strengthening his hold around Kei’s body and leaving a kiss on his neck. “Good, ‘cuz we’re gonna have to do that all over again when I catch it.”

Tsukishima scoffed and pushed Kuroo’s face away from his neck. “I don’t know why you’re so happy about yourself,” he said with disdain.

“No idea either,” Kuroo replied with the same overtly sweet grin from earlier, putting his face right back in the crook of Kei’s neck and making him groan angrily.

They fell asleep quickly that night after exchanging goodnight kisses that largely extended the runtime of typical goodnight kisses (mostly because they didn’t want to stop kissing, but also because Kei had to stop every 5 seconds to breathe).

Tsukishima woke up in the middle of the night to take his temperature and it was way down, so he figured that the worst of it was over.

 

* * *

 

The next day, Kei’s health wasn’t fully back, but there were no signs of Kuroo being sick himself so far. Kuroo went to work anyway and got promptly sent home by Kiyoko who was too afraid of catching something and getting her dad sick. He was finally healthy again, it wasn’t time to weaken him with a dumb mutant cold. She told him she’d give him a couple of paid days off, so he didn’t care.

So it was Friday night, and Kuroo was hanging out with Oikawa in his living room. Kuroo had admitted, after finishing his first glass of wine, that his mind was set on moving on to the next stage of his and Kei’s relationship, which had Oikawa pretending to be moved.

“Aww,” he cooed before he made an exaggerated expression of disgust. “That’s gay.”

“Yes,” Kuroo agreed with a dumb smile.

“Is the sex that good?” Oikawa asked with a widening grin, which only got bigger when Kuroo punched him on the arm. “What? You were all ‘man I don’t know we’re taking it slow’ and now you want to marry him. I know what that means.”

“Sure you do,” Kuroo replied as he nodded from side to side with annoyance. “I’m not like you, it’s not love at first fuck.”

“Ha ha,” Oikawa said deadpan, “I love when you mock me. _Look at that guy! He’s never had sex with someone he didn’t like!_ That’s funny.”

Kuroo kept smirking with closed lips, and it didn’t take much longer before a smile broke on Oikawa’s face as well.

“You’re such a jerk,” Oikawa declared in a loving voice. “Did you end up telling Kenny?”

“Your boyfriend took care of that for me,” Kuroo answered, and it came out angrier than he had meant it to. “I had to sit there and listen to Kageyama spew out nonsense for 10 minutes before I snapped.”

Oikawa frowned softly and crossed his legs. “I don’t understand.”

“Well, Iwa texted Kenma when you told him about Kei and I because Kenma had asked everyone to warn him if I went around and tried to get my heart stomped on again or something along these lines. So, I went over to his place to talk but what really happened was a prepared intervention by Hinata and Kageyama who wanted to warn me about Kei being a bad person.”

“As if you didn’t already know that,” Oikawa joked with a wink, which got a weak smile out of Kuroo. “Anyway, I don’t know why you should listen to them. Tobio’s a two-faced bitch and Shrimpy doesn’t know how to count to ten, it’s a miracle they’re not dating a serial killer.”

“I guess,” Kuroo replied, shrugging slightly. Oikawa had told him about Kageyama years ago, and he was still holding that grudge from when he was 18 years old. Still, Kuroo believed in people, and he knew that Kageyama had surely changed after all these years. Maybe Oikawa was being harsh on him and that things would be much different if Kageyama got a chance to explain himself.

“About your boy though, when is he supposed to turn up? I don’t want to get in the way of a dick appointment.”

Kuroo gave him a fake smile. “He should be here in about 10 minutes, you should run.”

Oikawa giggled at him, smiling brightly like such a proud boy. Kuroo didn’t know what he was even proud of.

He felt his phone vibrate in his back pocket, so he stood up from the couch and checked who was calling him. He sighed shakily before he ran a hand through his hair nervously and he left for his bedroom after asking Oikawa to wait for him there.

Ah, the monthly call from mom. That was one that even Oikawa would never dare to snoop on. It had been a while since Kuroo had talked to him about his mother, so he figured that was because things were better between them, but telling from the reaction that Kuroo had just had, that probably wasn’t the case.

Kuroo closed the bedroom door after himself before he answered the phone.

“Hey,” he said casually while he sat down on his mattress.

“Hi honey, I hope I’m not catching you at a bad time,” his mother replied, but knowing her, she probably did not honestly care.

“I’m getting promoted at work,” were the first words out of Kuroo’s mouth, his tradition of scrapping for anything to please her still alive and kicking.

His mother chuckled. “That’s great. Is that where you see yourself?”

“Huh?”

“I thought I raised an artist, not a man who sells other people’s music on an obsolete medium. But you do what you want,” she ended with that tweak of the voice that always betrayed her real emotions.

“I just thought that would be better than playing the keyboards in a subway stop to make a couple hundred yen a day. Don’t you agree?”

She laughed sweetly, but it turned into a sigh. “I guess you’re right. What does that promotion entail?”

“I would be assistant manager, but I’m gonna get bumped up to manager when Kiyoko leaves for school,” Kuroo explained, knowing full well that his mother was about to turn this into some life lesson.

“Mmh, smart girl,” she commented, setting off Kuroo’s eye roll. “Talking about smart girls, has Daphne gotten back to you yet?”

“Daphne won’t get back to me, mom. You don’t understand ghosting.”

“I don’t even know what you just said,” she replied with another giggle, almost making Kuroo smile despite the subject matter. He wished nobody would ever speak that name again.

“You should take example on that Kiyoko girl though, she’s got the right idea. She’s about your age, isn’t she?”

“Yeah, she’s my age,” Kuroo confirmed with a tight jaw, giving his mother exactly what she had needed to make her age-old point again.

“Funny how she seems to have no trouble taking control of her own life even though she’s not freshly out of high school since you make it seem like it’s impossible.”

He hated his mother’s voice when she said things like this. He hated the way she had him caged in an architype of laziness and self-sabotage. He hated the way she spoke to him and dared to say it was care.

“She was out of school because her father had cancer and she had to stay at home and take care of him, not by choice,” he spat out angrily, even though he knew that it made his mother feel like she was winning when she got to him.

“Still, seeing that it’s possible should motivate you,” she said with her ever-well-meaning tone of voice.

“I’ve told you countless times that there’s no point in going back. If you really wanted to help me, you wouldn’t withhold the money you put aside for me just because I didn’t follow the path you had set up for me in your mind.”

His mother was much less impressionable and emotional than she had been years ago. She was rarely hurt by Kuroo’s claims anymore.

“You know that’s not what it’s about. I put that money aside for college funds, that’s what it’s gonna be for. If you need money, you can ask me, and I’ll send you a couple thousands. You’ll only get the college funds if you get a degree or if I die before you do.”

Kuroo’s eyes welled up with tears without he knew why. It’s like his body had taken a mind of its own and refused to be controlled by his rational mind.

“Don’t think that I don’t love you or respect you. I just don’t want you to end up selling records your entire life,” she stated with little to no emotion in her voice. It always felt like she was pretending to care.

These phone calls always made Kuroo feel like a sack of shit. He had no idea why he deserved to be reminded of how he was disappointing everybody around him constantly like this.

Kuroo lied down on his bed and decided to let the tears go. He had no one to hide them from anyway.

“I’ve been playing a little bit recently. I’ve met someone who likes to hear me play.”

“You’ve met someone?”

That was the other reason he’d been dreading a phone call from his mother. She wanted him to get a girlfriend so badly. It had been so long since a boy had been introduced to her that she probably thought the whole bi thing had been a phase. The strategic use of the word “someone” had probably tipped her off that this wasn’t about a girl.

“It was the first time I played in something like 7 months. I think I want to shoot my shot again. He makes me think I’ve got a chance.”

His mother took a deep breath before she spoke again. “That’s great news. Be careful not to get _ghosted_ this time.”

Kuroo started laughing through his tears, making his mother laugh in turn. It died slowly, leaving him to cry silently while his mother waited for him to say something on the other end of the line.

“I really wish I could reach your expectations, mom. I’m just tired of living from paycheck to paycheck just because I refused to waste more time.”

“Well, what are you doing now if you’re not wasting your time?”

Kuroo clenched his teeth and was about to reply something he would regret later when he heard a knock at the front door of his apartment. He said goodbye to his mother in a haste and tried to rid his face of any incriminating tear.

Oikawa went to get the door and warned Tsukishima about the mom phone call. Kuroo heard everything from the bedroom as he tried to take deep breaths and calm down. He knew his eyes were red, he knew his face was puffy, there was no way he would get out of this one.

Kei gave one short knock as the door before Kuroo told him to get in. Oikawa had apparently left to go back to his place now.

“Are you okay?” was, of course, the first thing Kei said upon seeing him.

Kuroo didn’t say anything and just held his arms in front of his body, asking for a hug. Kei joined him on the mattress and held him in his arms, waiting for Kuroo to put his head on his shoulder so he could rest his own head on top. Kuroo closed his fists around the fabric of Kei’s shirt and prayed to all the Gods that he wouldn’t start crying again.

Kuroo let himself be placed, allowing Kei to move him around. They ended up pretty much mirroring the way they had lied together the night that Millie passed away, but this time Kei was the one with his back to the wall, darting his fingers through messy hair.

“Whatever she said,” he started softly, his voice just above a whisper, “it defines her. Not you.”

Kuroo nodded, rubbing his cheek on Kei’s chest and leaving wet patches of tears on his shirt.

“I’ll bring you to see Archie tomorrow since Kiyoko gave you days off.”

Tetsurou looked up sharply, coming close to slamming his head onto Kei’s jaw. “Really?” He asked with stars in his eyes.

“Yeah,” Kei replied with a soft smile.

Kuroo stared at him and smiled back. No, he definitely wasn’t going to get ghosted by this one.

 

* * *

 

It was just after closing hours, and the zoo was completely empty. Kei was waving Kuroo over from the service door, sending nervous glances at the security desk where Seikatsu seemed to be doing a crosswords puzzle.

Kuroo ran over to him, sliding past the door flawlessly. Kei locked it after him before he grabbed him by the arm and started running to the other end of the hallway. Once they were past the heavy metal doors and out of danger, they caught their breaths and giggled childishly.

Kuroo could already hear roaring from behind the gate to the den. Kei had already taken the time to put Rai and Riri in the windowed room so they wouldn’t interfere.

As soon as Kei opened the heavy door, Archie jumped on the metal fence and greeted them with the most adorable attempt at a roar that Kuroo had ever heard. He was still just a baby after all.

He had gotten so much bigger, and his coat had changed a lot since the day he was born. He looked healthy and strong.

Kei unlocked the gate of the metal fence and Archie ran to his feet, jumping excitedly around his trainer. They walked in the den, making sure to stay shielded away from the huge windows at the front showcasing the enclosure to the zoo visitors. There were janitors cleaning up at this hour and they would get in trouble if someone found out that there was an unauthorized person in the section restricted to employees.

They sat behind the fake rocks, taking Archie with them and tiring him down by making him jump around and follow their fingers in a long teasing game. Kei updated Kuroo on all the skills that Archie had gained, on how much he was eating now, how much he had grown, how he was adapting to Millie being gone. Kuroo listened to all of it with a true fascination, entertaining the cub all the while he focused on what Kei was saying.

After a good hour of playing and doing easy tricks, Archie fell exhausted on Kuroo’s lap. Kuroo looked up at Kei with a glowing expression, asking _are you seeing this_ with his overjoyed eyes. Kei’s smile reached up to his eyes, and Kuroo couldn’t believe he’d just seen two miracles for the price of one.

They sneaked out an hour later, leaving a sleepy Archie to the care of Rai and Riri who roared at them one more time before they passed the metal door. They didn’t run into anyone on their way out, but they were both sure that Seikatsu had spotted them when they crossed the parking lot. They ran the rest of the way to the bus stop, laughing the entire time like bad children.

When they got home, they headed into the bathroom for a quick shower and an easy way to ease off their bubbling adrenaline. It followed them into bed and kept them up for half of the night, but neither of them complained as they had a great outlet.

 

* * *

 

Tsukishima laid next to Kuroo, cuddled up to his side with his head on his chest. He listened to his heartbeat with the focus of someone performing a delicate task. Kuroo was dozing off, exhausted after an 8-hour day at work. It was still early, but a nap before dinner had never done anyone wrong.

Kei’s phone buzzed with an incoming text, which pulled him out of his own head and had Kuroo stirring awake.

“Sorry,” Kei apologized as he turned the vibration off on his phone. He checked the text message and sighed loudly, which had Kuroo smirking.

“What is it?” He asked before he lifted his head up to kiss the top of Kei’s head.

He sighed again, rolling to the side and away from Kuroo to sit up in bed. He was staring down at his phone, but he wasn’t doing anything with it.

“I told Tadashi last week that we could go out tonight but I’m not feeling it anymore. I just wanna stay here.”

Kuroo lifted himself up and put his back against the headboard, letting his long legs lay flat against the mattress. “Where would you guys be going?”

“Same as usual,” Kei replied with a shrug, dipping to the side to rest his head on Kuroo’s shoulder. “I know I haven’t seen my friends in a while, but tonight’s bad and I just wanna be with you.”

“Well, aren’t you direct and unashamed,” Tetsurou commented with snark, but his cheeks were betraying him by turning red.

Kei scoffed, looking up at Kuroo’s face with soft eyes. “When have I ever been ashamed?”

“Good point,” Kuroo replied, reaching behind to wrap an arm around Tsukishima and squeeze his side. “Who would be there?”

“Tadashi and Yachi.”

“Your two friends,” Kuroo said sheepishly, because he knew how he was making it sound and he hated it, but it was still true. “What if I came along?”

Kei scoffed again and rubbed his cheek on Kuroo’s shoulder. “I wouldn’t want to put you through that.”

“Why? You think I won’t get along with your friends?”

“No, that’s not it,” Kei said, slowly moving away from Kuroo’s shoulder to sit upright, “we’ve just known each other for so long that half of our conversations require a hundred levels to be uncovered for anyone to understand us.”

“Then, uncover the levels and I’ll sit there, smiling and nodding.”

Kei smirked almost unnoticeably, hiding it away by looking down. “I don’t know what that would change anyway. It would still be me having to hang out with them as if you weren’t there.”

Kuroo chuckled as he brought his hand to Kei’s hair and ruffled it up. “I just want you to have a social life, I thought having me participating in it might help.”

“I have a social life,” Kei protested with a frown. He reached up to grab Kuroo’s hand, taking it away from his hair so they could intertwine their fingers. “This is social.”

“You know that’s not what I meant,” Kuroo replied with a scoff. “You can’t put your normal activities on hold because you want to spend time with me. We have all the time in the world for that later.”

Tsukishima grumbled as he moved away from Kuroo and stood up from the bed, stretching his arms over his head to force himself into alertness. “Okay then, but don’t say I didn’t warn you.”

Kuroo smirked proudly, bringing both of his hands behind his head to create the most insufferable image in the world. “I knew I’d win you over.”

Kei gave him a quick look before he started walking out the room. “I’d be careful if I was you.”

Kuroo giggled childishly as he spied on Kei who seemed to be texting his friend back. He had no idea how tonight was going to go, but anything was better than the isolation Kei seemed to like putting himself into.

 

* * *

 

They showed up at the notoriously gay bar that Kuroo had always been curious about but had never set foot in at 10pm. It wasn’t the loud club kind of place that you could’ve expected from the look of the outside, but rather a calmer bar with moderately loud music playing through speakers and too expensive drinks. People were sitting down, chatting and laughing loudly.

Kei weaved through the people waiting at the bar, holding Kuroo’s hand and guiding him along. They’d never held hands in public before, and it would probably be a while before they would be able to do that again. Kuroo held on tightly, letting his nails dig slightly into Kei’s hand.

Yamaguchi was waving at them from his table at the far-left corner of the bar, and he was already holding a drink in his other hand. There was a sweet looking girl sitting next to him, her long blonde hair framing her face like a holy woman’s veil. She looked so young and pure that Kuroo had to fight the urge to take her out of this wretched place.

Kei had dragged him to the table now, standing uncomfortably in front of his friends with the strange man he had let into his life.

“Hey guys, this is Kuroo,” Kei said pretty casually for a guy who was standing as rigidly as a picket fence.

“Absolutely delighted,” Yamaguchi said as he stood up and extended his hand for Kuroo to shake. “I’m Yamaguchi Tadashi, and I helped pick you up from a grimy kitchen floor once.”

“My floor isn’t grimy-“

“Oh, that was you,” Kuroo said with a nod. “Well, thanks. I woke up 5 minutes later, but your efforts were appreciated.”

Yamaguchi sat back down with a wicked smile, quickly turning his attention to the lady sitting by his side before his best friend would snap at him. “This is Yachi Hitoka, by the way.”

“Hi,” Yachi greeted him with an adorable smile. “I’ve heard a lot about you, and not from who you think.”

Kuroo cocked his head to the side in confusion and curiosity, but Kei heaved a loud sigh and forced him to sit down with him before he’d ask any questions.

“You’ve already got drinks?” Tsukishima asked in an almost judgemental way.

“What, we had to wait for the king to arrive?” Yamaguchi asked with a sweet smile. He called a waiter over with a wave of the hand, winking at Tsukishima as he did.

“You’re insufferable sober, but you’re worse drunk,” Kei said, but he was smiling earnestly. This boy wasn’t his best friend for nothing, he could make him happy extremely easily.

“That’s why I always try to get as drunk as possible,” Yamaguchi replied, and Yachi giggled.

“You need to kick it into gear, because we also had shots before you got here,” Yachi said in her best innocent little girl voice, therefore ruining the illusion.

Kuroo nodded once before he chuckled, feeling quite surprised by the people he was meeting. This was an introduction into a part of Kei’s life that he had never taken the time to think about before.

“Well, I’m suddenly compelled to follow along, but I can’t afford anything here,” Kuroo said apologetically, getting a pout from Yachi.

“Don’t be silly,” Kei said as he gave Kuroo’s hand a squeeze, “I’ll get you something.”

Kuroo grinned smugly, now looking at Kei as if there was not another soul in the room. “You know you don’t need to buy me drinks to get me home, right?”

“If you want to stay on water for the night, you just have to tell me,” Kei replied teasingly, returning Kuroo’s intense focus. “But I think you’ll have more fun trying to understand our conversations while something’s trying to mess up with your brain.”

“Perhaps,” Kuroo agreed, and then he left Kei’s gaze and rejoined the group. Yamaguchi and Yachi were both looking at them with a knowing smile, which was to be expected, really. He could not _not_ mess with this boy whenever he could, and he did not really care about what people thought it meant, especially not in a place like this.

“How long has this been going on?” Yachi asked nicely, radiating sunlight and joy.

Kei frowned and turned to Kuroo again. “When would you start counting? Halloween?”

“Not Halloween,” Kuroo shot down instantly, since he was still trying to wipe that moment out of his mind. “Maybe… when Millie…”

“Okay, so it can’t be when _you_ messed up, but it can be when _I_ messed up?”

Kuroo laughed freely, enjoying the way Kei stared him down as if to challenge him to a duel. “You know I interpreted you the wrong way that night, so you didn’t mess up. Let’s say it was the next day then? For your pride.”

“Fuck you,” Kei chuckled under his breath, but he was rubbing his thumb on Kuroo’s hand as he said it, eliminating any heat there could’ve been in the insult.

“It’s almost been a month, to answer your question,” Kuroo told Yachi, smiling at her while Tsukishima rolled his eyes at her.

She laughed, hiding her smile behind her hands. The waiter showed up at this moment, taking their order and heading back to prepare the drinks quickly.

Yamaguchi and Yachi kept inquiring about Kuroo until the drinks arrived, and Yachi was asking what Kuroo did for a living after the waiter left to serve another table.

“He works with Kikoyo,” Kei answered for him before he took the straw of his drink into his mouth and drank for a long, long time.

Yachi’s took a sudden breath as her eyebrows went up in surprise. “Oh,” she said after a short pause, “that’s nice!”

“ _One that got away_ situation, if you didn’t know,” Yamaguchi told Kuroo while Yachi slapped his arm to make him shut up.

Kuroo nodded, understanding the situation. “She’s single, if you’re still interested.”

Yachi laughed nervously and was now hiding her entire face using a menu. “I’m fine thank you!”

“I heard she’s going back to school,” Yamaguchi said conversationally, but he was grinning evilly.

“She is, her dad is doing much better. She’s gonna stop working in December and start school in-“

“Can we stop?” Yachi asked, her voice panicked and her smile disgustingly fake. She had taken down the menu, so Kuroo could see how much this was affecting her now.

“I’m sorry,” Kuroo apologized shamefully, looking at her with a straight face.

“It’s alright!” she said chirpily, but she was still anxious. Yamaguchi grabbed her shoulder and shook her softly.

“I’ll find you another girl, don’t worry.”

Yachi sighed and pushed him away, but there was a gentle smile on her closed lips.

Kuroo felt relieved that Yachi seemed to be better already. “It’s funny, you guys really know everyone I know. It’s almost creepy.”

“He knows dumb and dumber,” Kei explained as both of his friends nodded in understanding.

“Oh!” Yachi yelped happily. “How do you know them?”

“My childhood friend is their boyfriend,” Kuroo said as an enthusiastic Yachi shook her head yes at him.

“I’ve never met him, that’s a shame! But yeah, I’m pretty much the only one who kept in touch with them. These boys have a gripe with them and I don’t get it,” she concluded as she pointed accusingly at her two friends.

Kuroo laughed at the expression on Kei’s face, which could only be described as the particular type of despair that comes with arguing with a profoundly stupid person who understands none of the arguments and refuses to be wrong.

“I don’t have anything to do with that, I only trust Tsukki’s instincts,” Yamaguchi replied, acting all angelic.

Kei scoffed, threw his head back and finished his drink in another long sip.

 

* * *

 

Kuroo had seen Tsukishima drunk once, and he’d been a blushing, giggly mess. Now, he was way past that. When he came back from the bathroom for the third time that night, he didn’t have Kuroo stand up so he could sit next to him again, but instead sat right on Kuroo’s lap like it was nothing. He sat facing him, putting a leg on either side of him. Yamaguchi choked in laughter halfway through taking a drink, and Yachi chuckled behind her hand.

“Dear God,” Yamaguchi commented as he watched his best friend express his affection in a way he had never seen before, “can you believe this?”

Yachi shrugged, clearly not seeing any issues. “They’re sweet,” she said, tilting her head on the side as if she was trying to see if they were still cute from another angle.

“Tooth-rotting sweet,” Yamaguchi agreed with a nod, but the dent between his eyebrows gave him more of a disgusted vibe.

Yachi had a knowing smile. “You’re just jealous.”

Yamaguchi broke into laughter, punching Yachi’s arm softly with his elbow. “I did try to call dibs, but I wouldn’t stoop that low.”

“That’s not what I mean,” Yachi said as she turned her head to the side and gave Yamaguchi a good stare. “You might want to shag Kuroo in theory, but it’s their current situation that I think you envy.”

Yamaguchi chuckled and leaned back in his seat. “Sure, I want to find myself a good boy to bring home to mama,” he replied sarcastically as Yachi scoffed at him.

“Anyway, I think this is too serious for dibs, don’t you think?”

Yamaguchi looked back a her as he frowned a tiny bit, just enough to make him look way more intoxicated than he really was. “You think this is serious?”

“Has he ever introduced a boy to you before?”

Yamaguchi’s lips scrunched up in a comical pout. “No, you’re right, this is a first.”

Yachi hummed as she brought her attention back to the two boys currently making out on the seat adjacent of hers. “And have you ever seen him kiss someone willingly before?”

Yamaguchi started laughing so suddenly that his snort caught Tsukishima and Kuroo’s attentions, forcing them to stop kissing and to look at where the noise came from.

“Definitely haven’t,” Yamaguchi choked out, wiping away a tear on the corner of his eye. He twisted his wrist in Kei’s direction as to say _carry on with your activities_.

Kei shrugged, turned back around and went back to smooching the night away. Yamaguchi had a smirk before he turned back to Yachi with his eyebrows arched. “He’s growing up so fast.”

“You think he’ll be worse than ever if he gets his heart broken?” Yachi whispered in Yamaguchi’s way, frowning worriedly at the thought.

Yamaguchi shrugged before he got back to his drink and took a sip. “Maybe, maybe not,” he said once he took the glass down. “There’s only one way to know, and that’s to let him live.”

“Yeah, probably,” Yachi said, and her dejected expression fell once she set her gaze on Tsukishima and Kuroo again. She smiled softly, and then sighed as she contemplated them. “Let’s hope this works out.”

Yamaguchi raised his glass in a silent celebration before he brought it back to his lips and downed the entire thing in one swing.

 

* * *

 

It was very late now and they had to leave because the bar was closing, so Kuroo stumbled outside of the bar as he held Tsukishima up and carried him out. He wasn’t as drunk as he looked, it was just a bad mix of not eating enough during the day and being immensely tired. And heavy drinking.

Yamaguchi had left with Yachi around 5 minutes earlier while Kuroo had to wait for Kei’s 100th bathroom break of the night. They were now dragging their feet around, trying to haul their asses home as their cracked up laughing at nothing.

They’d barely walked past the premise when Tsukishima bumped Kuroo with his hip repeatedly, forcing him to head into the alley and slamming him into the wall of a random apartment building. All Kuroo could see in the dark was the sneaky smile that Kei was sporting right before he smashed his lips against Kuroo’s.

They collapsed together slowly, sliding down the wall as they grasped at each other’s clothes and pulled as hard as they could even though there was no room to fill between the both of them anymore. Kuroo was trying to say something, but Kei wouldn’t have it, keeping his lips locked against his and crossing his arms behind his neck to keep him from escaping.

Next thing he knew, Kuroo was sitting right onto the dirty and wet concrete, laughing in a sad way while Kei scoffed mockingly.

“Sorry,” he whispered in the silence of the night.

Kuroo laughed even harder, but he did succeed to keep it at a low volume. “My ass is drenched.”

Kei stood up with difficulty, giving his hand out to Kuroo to help him stand next but almost falling over when he grabbed it. They walked home unhurriedly, chuckling and kissing at times when they’d made sure that they were alone in the street. It was exhilarating to be all sweet while drunk with the added thrill of never being really sure if someone was watching or not.

Kei insisted to sleep at Kuroo’s place when they walked inside the apartment building, so Kuroo obliged and helped him up the stairs to the second floor. They rushed into the bedroom and launched themselves on the mattress, allowing themselves to laugh and play loudly for a couple of minutes before they would shut down and pass out.

Kei was halfway through taking his shirt off when he fell backwards and stopped moving, grunting like a man in pain. Kuroo giggled and wrapped him up in a hug, holding him close to his chest and rubbing his cheek on his hair.

“Do you wanna go for breakfast tomorrow morning?” Kuroo asked in a half-asleep slur.

Kei gasped like he had never heard a better idea. “Yes. Brunch.”

Kuroo chuckled again and squeezed Tsukishima tighter, getting a gentle hum out of him.

They cuddled in silence, breathing heavily and looking at each other right in the eyes.

Kei’s entire vibe had changed entirely, from the playful flirt to the full focus. Kuroo kissed him to see how he would react, and Kei was biting his lip to keep from smiling when he moved away.

“You ok?” Kuroo asked as he rubbed his thumb on Kei’s cheek, making him sigh.

“I’ve just… realized that you’re the only person I’ve ever felt safe with like that… especially drunk in a bed,” Kei explained, smirking at his last addition.

Kuroo scoffed at it, but he recognized the heaviness of the words nonetheless. He dipped down to kiss him again, even softer than before to draw that pretty sigh out of him once more.

“I’ve been thinking,” Kuroo started after he took his time to look at ever detail of Kei’s face, “and I was wondering if you still thought this was too recent to… be anything serious?”

Kei stared up at him with wide eyes, blinking constantly like a startled animal. “Huh, I’m talking for sober me tomorrow morning, but I don’t think I would like it if I got into a relationship on a drunk whim.”

Kuroo nodded twice and looked down, disappointed but not surprised. Kei took his chin between his fingers and forced him to lift his head.

“I have to tell you that if I wasn’t listening to reason, I would already be dating you.”

Kuroo grinned proudly but stopped abruptly when he wondered why _reason_ would keep that from happening.

“We almost already are anyway,” Kuroo said before he moved forward and kissed Kei with closed, phantom lips.

Kei frowned comically. “Then what’s the difference?”

Kuroo laughed as he began rubbing his thumb on Kei’s cheek again. He kissed him again and again, speaking short sets of words between each kiss. “I get to brag about it,- I get to tell my parents,- get to tell everyone,- how smart and beautiful you are,- how much I care about you.”

Kei was giggling through the kisses and the intense attention, trying to process what he was hearing with his drunk brain, but failing.

“So you only want the bragging rights?” Kei asked cheekily.

“I want you,” Kuroo responded unabashedly, completely straight-faced and thoughtful.

Kei gasped as he shared Kuroo’s fixed gaze. “Well I’m open to it. Ask me in a little while when I’m sober and not completely weak for you.”

Kuroo laughed before he gave Kei one more short kiss. “I’ve never seen you not be completely weak for me.”

Kei had a fake smile while they shared a knowing glance. “Then ask me when you think that my mind’s in the right place. The opposite of right now.”

“Okay,” Kuroo replied with a grin, giving Kei one last kiss before he settled comfortably in bed and got ready to go to sleep.

Kei rolled on his side to get closer to Kuroo and extended his leg to tease Kuroo’s foot with his own when he felt wetness on the sheets.

“Did you get in the bed on your wet butt?” He asked accusingly, the underlying hilarity of the situation menacing to spill out of his throat at any moment.

Kuroo kept quiet and stared at the ceiling for 30 seconds. “I still have my pants on,” he ended up admitting.

Kei broke into a loud fit of laughter at 4 in the morning.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OKAY HI  
> It's been a while!!! I don't even have a reason to give I've just been lazy!  
> I guess I also wasn't super motivated because the fandom is super dead and the ship is extra dead but yeah... I love my boys so I came back anyway  
> If you want to communicate some of your appreciation for this story (even though this is a solid 3 months late...) you always can!  
> You can reach me here, on [tumblr](http://sandgoddess.tumblr.com), on [twitter](https://twitter.com/megabitch2001), you can even ask me for my damn snapchat. I am craving so much attention.  
> Have good weeks and make good choices (unlike me)  
> Love y'all


	14. Moonshine

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ive been watching naruto so much these past few days i honestly dont know where i found the time to write this
> 
> not into sex scenes? stop reading at "peppering kisses on his neck" and pick back up at "Kei was standing behind Kuroo in the shower"  
> i know it sounds like it's still sexy, but it isn't, i swear

The sound of her heels on the floor of the hallway woke him up before she knocked on his bedroom door and let herself in. She was looking oddly fancy for this time of the morning, but it wasn’t unusual of her to go a little over the top. Kuroo had seen Daphne in both the prettiest of apparels and in disgusting slacks, and he loved her either way.

She sat on his bed, stared down at him and tried to smile, but it seemed to be difficult for her. Kuroo grabbed her hand and squeezed softly.

“What’s up babe?” he asked worriedly.

She smiled wider, but it somehow got sadder. “I just wanted to see you.”

Kuroo knew that she was going somewhere, she wasn’t dressed to lounge around, so he asked her where she was going. She shrugged and then said it was nowhere important.

She tended to speak English only in the morning because she wasn’t awake enough to string clear sentences in Japanese. Now, she was speaking in perfect Japanese, which meant she had already been up for hours.

They were both staying in a University residence in separate rooms, so she’d just been a short walk away from him. There was no reason to get all dressed up.

“You said you had the bag that I forgot here last week?”

Kuroo frowned but sat up, reaching for Daph’s bag that he had stuffed away between his dresser and his bed. He handed it to her, but he held on when she grabbed it and pulled it towards her.

“Didn’t you say you were gonna keep it here in case you forgot your purse?”

She pulled a bit more, so Kuroo let go of it.

“I’d rather have it with me after all,” she explained vaguely.

She stood up as she pulled her bag up on her shoulders. Kuroo grabbed her hand again, holding her in place loosely as she stood there motionless.

“Everything’s alright, yeah?” He knew everything was not alright.

Daphne shrugged, walked towards the door and let Kuroo’s hand slip out of hers limply. “I’ll see you later,” she announced before she left the room without another glance.

That was the last time Kuroo had seen, spoken to or heard from Daphne Kane. He kept the ring he had never given her for a year after she left. He kept the photos for two years after she left. Even when he was dating Kirei, even when he was dating Yuki, he was constantly waiting for Daph to come back, but she never did. Now he wasn’t waiting for her anymore.

 

* * *

 

Kuroo's mouth was sand-paper dry when he woke up, basking in his' and Kei's shared sweat. It should've been gross, but he honestly did not give a fuck. He needed water and a shower and maybe a bucket to throw up in before he'd try to eat anything.

Kei was snoring softly next to him, his hair sticking to his forehead in baby curls. Even in his state of total discomfort, Kuroo took a moment to appreciate what he was seeing and turn to goo for this beautiful boy.

Kei began to stir awake when Kuroo was taking his disgusting pants off from the night before. Kei was trying to shield his eyes from the weak rays of the sun that made their way through the light curtains. Kuroo gave his thigh an elbow jab in lieu of a wish of good morning.

Kei groaned and turned on his side, facing away from Kuroo. He chuckled as he let himself fall to the side, making the shape of his neck fit with the jut of Kei’s hip and letting his head dangle on the other side.

“Did you drop alcohol all over yourself last night?” Kuroo asked accusingly after he got a waft of Kei’s clothes. Neither of them had changed when they’d gotten home since they’d been too drunk to care.

“Hnnng,” was Tsukishima’s inspired answer. He then picked up his shirt between two fingers and brought the fabric to his nose to smell. As soon as it was close enough to smell, he frowned with disgust and tried to curl his body away from his own clothes.

Kuroo turned on his back and laughed, letting the back of his head rest on Kei’s stomach. Kei was trying to take his stinky shirt off, but Kuroo’s dumb head was keeping him away from doing that.

“Kurooooo,” he whined as he wiggled around and pinched his nose.

Kuroo laughed as he pulled up the part of the shirt that was stuck under his head, leaving it to Kei’s care who yanked it off with fury as if it was radioactive waste.

“Fuck brunch, right?” Kuroo asked as his laughter died out.

Kei groaned in pain once more, covering his face with his hands as he took in deep breaths. “ _Fuck_ brunch.”

“Do you want to come puke in the shower with me?” Kuroo asked way too lovingly for the subject matter.

Kei chuckled sadly, letting his hands slide off his face. “Yes,” he replied with relief at finding out that he wasn’t alone in feeling like an entire pile of shit.

Kuroo slipped down from Kei’s hip, slumping on the bed and rolling off of it. He grabbed Kei’s hand and helped him up before he dragged him along to the bathroom. They argued about whether it would be better to make the water super cold or super hot, and then they decided they were feeling too gross to argue, so they settled for a lukewarm compromise.

They held each other for dear life as they let the water run down their bodies without moving. They constantly felt the nausea rising, so they gave each other quick slaps in the face. They didn’t know if it did anything to help, but it was funny, so they kept doing it.

The shower woke them up properly, but it didn’t make them feel any better past that. Once they had cleansed themselves up properly, they stepped out of the shower and sat on the side of the bath to catch their breath.

“I haven’t been this hungover in my life, I’m getting old,” Kuroo whined as Kei rubbed a hand on his back in circles.

Kei put his head on Kuroo’s shoulder, and his cheek instantly stuck to his drying skin. “If I throw up in front of you, will you still like me?”

“I’ll throw up right on top as a show of empathy,” Kuroo replied in a slow drawl.

They sat on the edge bath for at least 15 minutes, swaying slightly with each other until their nausea got better, or worse, they honestly weren’t even sure anymore.

They decided to try putting clothes on and moving to the living room, even though they both felt like it was dangerous to leave the bathroom. Kuroo lent Kei some clothes so he wouldn’t have to put his dirty clothes back on or go downstairs to get new ones, and then they left for the living room.

It turned into a waiting game. Kuroo felt better when he was lying down, do he put his head down on Kei’s lap and tried to concentrate on his fingers combing through his hair, but then lying down made it worse so he sat up. Kei decided to make coffee, but as soon as he opened the can, the smell attacked him and made him think that he would have to throw up in the kitchen sink for a second.

They found each other back on the couch again, taking deep breaths and glaring at the ceiling together. It took them a full hour to feel just well enough to think about getting a piece of toast and another 30 minutes to go ahead and eat that piece of toast. They gave each other warry looks the whole time, apprehending the moment when one or both of them would dart for the bathroom to throw it back up.

“Do you have to go to work today?” Kei asked between minuscule bites of toast.

“Yeah, at 2pm,” Kuroo replied, keeping his eyes closed tightly as he tried to eat.

Kei laughed even though it wasn’t funny at all, and Kuroo followed suit.

 

* * *

 

Kei was sitting in his bed, still wearing Kuroo’s clothes. He was having dinner in bed because he was still feeling kind of weak, but he was also starving. It was more efficient this way.

Kuroo was going to swing by after a quick change of clothes, and Kei was getting nervous, so he was stuffing his face to calm his nerves.

Kuroo had texted him about an incident involving a trash can at work, and Kei had spent the afternoon feeling bad for making him drink so much. He had paid for all of his alcohol, he was the one who kept ordering more and more and Kuroo sat there and took it in like a nice boy who doesn’t have a backbone.

Kuroo let himself in the apartment as usual, walking up to Kei’s bedroom after he’d checked the kitchen and the living room for signs of life. He shuffled to the bed and fell face first on it, next to Kei’s feet who had his knees hiked up to hold his plate.

“Okay, so, I’m never drinking again,” Kuroo announced as Kei frowned with worry.

“Sorry,” he replied, pinching his lips anxiously when Kuroo turned his head to the side to look at him.

“What for?”

“For buying you all these drinks,” Kei explained as he looked down at his plate but stopped eating completely.

Kuroo laughed and poked Kei’s calf with his finger. “You didn’t force me to drink them, and you drank just as much.”

“I know, but you were around new people so there was some peer pressure and I kept offering them to you so you couldn’t say no-“

“I would’ve said no if I had meant to say no,” Kuroo deflected with a confused chuckle.

Kei rolled his eyes at him, getting annoyed at Kuroo’s attempts to completely ignore his point. “I know you probably think that, but you have to-“

“Look, babe, that’s the most fun I’ve had in months, I never get out of the house. I had _fun,_ okay? Don’t worry about it.”

Kei was blinking at him, speechless and taking in a seemingly never-ending inhale. Kuroo frowned at him and pushed his upper body up to get at eye-level.

“Since when do you call me that?”

Kuroo’s eyes widened in understanding and he slowly let himself drop into his previous position. “Huh,” he tried, looking straight up into nothingness as he reconsidered his existence, “I don’t know. It slipped out.”

“Can you, hm, not-“, Kei said, his gaze locked on his knees, “-I mean, can you not say that? Because he…”

Kuroo did not waste time wondering who Tsukishima was talking about when he said “he”. There was only one other “he”. “He” had apparently ruined every single pet name in the universe for Kei.

“Okay, I won’t. What should I call you?”

Kei had a nervous laugh, but at least he was looking at Kuroo now instead of pretending he wasn’t in the room with him. “My name.”

“That’s boring. I want to call you something special,” Kuroo whined, which had Kei rolling his eyes again, but there was a loving feel to it.

“I’m not gonna pick that for you,” Kei replied decidedly, putting his plate down on his side table to free his hands.

“Well, what else other than sweetheart and babe is totally out of the question?” Kuroo asked as he rolled onto his back, ending up laying down on Tsukishima’s feet.

Kei pouted with discomfort as he thought about it. “I don’t know. I thought you were mocking me when you were calling me sweetheart, that’s why I didn’t like it.”

“If you had to give me a pet name, what would it be?”

“I would call you by your name, because we’re not 50 and we’re not married.”

Kuroo groaned and tried to roll even closer, but Kei’s legs were obviously in the way. “Play along, sweetie. Oh, God no, that one doesn’t work at all.”

“Nothing works, stop trying,” Kei begged as he cringed internally at anyone in the world saying the word sweetie within a mile of him.

“Alright, _Kei_ ,” Kuroo spat out as he sat up on the bed and crawled to sit next to Kei, “then you try it. Say my name.”

Kei blinked at him a couple of times before he had to break eye contact. “I can do that.”

Kuroo smiled a crass smile. “Go right ahead.”

Tsukishima looked back up at him, resolute and fearless. “Tetsurou.”

Kuroo’s smile became a bit too soft for the taunting that followed. “I was honestly wondering if you remembered what it was.”

“Of course I do, I see it pop up every time you send me a dumb message,” Kei teased as he ruffled Kuroo’s hair up.

Kuroo smirked before he lunged forward and smacked a kiss on Kei’s cheek.

“Did you brush your teeth after throwing up in the trash or are you going around kissing me with puke breath?” Kei asked, expecting an actual answer but not sounding as judgemental as you would’ve thought.

“Mmh,” Kuroo hummed as he pretended to wonder if he had found the time to do that or not. He knew very well that he hadn’t.

He jumped out of bed and headed out of the room, spinning back around at the last second and grabbing the door frame to put an immediate stop to his movement.

“Hey, since I sleep here often, can I bring a spare toothbrush over?”

Kei shrugged carelessly, failing to see a problem with it. “Sure.”

Kuroo grinned before he darted out of the apartment and climbed the stairs to the second floor two by two. He couldn’t stop smiling the entire time he rummaged through his bathroom cabinet for the spare toothbrush that he’d been keeping in case his current one became too soft. He didn’t want to give too much meaning to the fact that he would be keeping a simple toothbrush over at his not-boyfriend’s place, but he couldn’t get Oikawa’s words out of his mind. _Trust_ _me, a guy in a relationship has a second toothbrush at his place whether he lives with his significant other or not._

It was dumb, but it made brushing his teeth a little bit more exciting than it usually was.

 

* * *

 

On their shared day off, Kuroo and Tsukishima lounged in bed, watching TV shows using Kei’s wi-fi even though they were in Kuroo’s place. The signal wasn’t particularly good, but it worked nonetheless.

They ordered takeout in the middle of the afternoon and ate in bed, finishing a movie that they had started the night before as they indulged.

Kei excused himself to go take a shower around 5pm, so Kuroo began doing the dishes while he was gone. There was quite a lot piling up there, and Oikawa still hadn’t done good on his promise to come help him clean everything up.

So that’s where Kuroo was, standing at the kitchen sink, scrubbing dirty plates with soapy water that smelled like lilac when Kei came back in his apartment, walked right up to him, hugged him from the side and started peppering kisses on his neck.

“Oh,” Kuroo breathed out, letting the plate he was holding fall in the water, and it swayed with the resistance of the liquid until it reached the bottom of the sink with a muffled thump. He took his yellow plastic gloves off so quickly that Kei hadn’t seen anything happen, and he spun around in Kei’s hold, letting his fingers dart on the small of his back and bringing him closer.

It didn’t take them much talking to understand where Kei was coming from, so they walked backwards into the bedroom, kissing and letting their hands ask the questions.

They had to slow down once they reached the bed, because when there wasn’t an actual bed frame to catch you at a nice height, the drop could bruise you badly. They sat down carefully and Kuroo crawled to the other end of the bed, lying down on his back and holding his arms open for Kei.

Tsukishima joined him quickly, straddling Kuroo’s right leg and going right back for a kiss. They giggled a bit through the kiss as they often did, not from lack of maturity or giddiness, but from comfort and happiness.

They moved against each other naturally, falling into place and following the curves of their bodies. Tsukishima had clear intent, and Kuroo was going to let himself be guided without a quip. Kei could read minds, Kuroo was sure of it. There was no polite way to say “Tonight I would like us to have sex if possible”, but he never had to say anything because Kei was a mind-reading wizard.

As their skin became warmer, their breaths shorter and their pants tighter, they laughed less and less and the atmosphere grew thicker. Kei seemed to be in a hurry, just like the first time. That boy was just too eager for his own good.

Kei moved against Kuroo’s leg, keeping their lower halves in contact down to the toes. Every move he made was subtle and light, but deliberate.

And with every second, the heat grew and Kuroo could feel Kei become more jittery, as if he was trying to catch something but it kept sliding out of his hands. Like he was rushing after something.

Kuroo grabbed Kei’s face with a rare softness, looked directly into his eyes to ground him, and kissed him so gently, taking his time and moving away to change the angle of the kiss so they’d have time to breathe and wouldn’t have to break it off later to catch their breath. Kei settled down, moving less hurriedly as most of the tension in his body seeped out.

Habits were difficult to break, but Kuroo was willing to work to make Kei break his’. They were still experimenting, learning and adapting to each other.

Still, for today, Kuroo had an idea. He pushed Tsukki away softly, pressing his hands to his chest to keep him at a short distance until he could move from where he’d been laying down. Kei stared at him with an arched eyebrow.

Tetsurou kneeled in the empty space between Kei’s ankles, grabbing them playfully and making him sigh.

“I want to try something,” he said ominously.

Kei kept frowning critically, annoyed by the pause into his quest. _“What?”_

“Just,” Kuroo tried as his cheeks suddenly became red, his eyes fixed on the sheets between Kei’s legs, “just, hum, I’d like to watch you, huh, touch yourself.”

Tsukishima had a nervous chuckle at that, but he quickly got his facial muscles under control and donned the straightest of expressions. “You want to watch me?”

He had said it with disdain and amusement, which was honestly confusing, but Kuroo got where he was coming from. His phrasing had been off, as it often was.

“See you. I want to see you do that, I guess.”

“Like through a window?”

He was full on laughing now, and Kuroo was getting a bit insulted even though he knew it was all a goof. Kuroo was extremely serious, thank you very much.

“You know what I mean.”

Kei bit his lower lip just for a second, but Kuroo didn’t miss it. “Where’s the fun in that?”

“Well, you know, it’s just… kind of nice to just watch and… I mean, don’t tell me you don’t know what’s hot in watching someone get off?”

Kei’s sigh sounded more like a laugh, so he was still unconvinced. “I guess, if we were Skyping or something I could understand, but we’re in the same room.”

Kuroo tilted his head to the side, tired of not being understood but trying really hard to not pressure Kei into doing anything he didn’t want to do. “It’s teasing, you know? Foreplay. I can’t do anything, I just have to watch you and take the sight in and keep myself in check until you’re done and then I’ll try to make you come a second time.”

Kei was back to his nervous scoffing, but there was more openness in his eyes and his demeanor.

“I mean, okay if that’s what you want, but I’m very boring. And I’m not really used to doing that...”

Kuroo couldn’t keep in the mocking chuckle that came out of his throat. “You’ve been 16, haven’t you?”

“Sure,” Kei said as he shrugged, confirming that he had done his time, “but I’ve kind of stopped when I started… anyway.”

Kuroo knew what he meant. Still, stopped? Kuroo was now 27 years old, so he was a little bit too proud to admit how many times a week (and sometimes day) he did it, but he wasn’t too shy to say that it was unconceivable for him to ever stop completely.

Kei scoffed as Kuroo’s expression of _pure_ _fear_ , dismaying his concerns with one wave of the hand. “I haven’t _stopped_ stopped. Just… slowed down. And you don’t need to sit there and do nothing, that would just be awkward.”

Kuroo had an understanding nod, taking this as his ok to help Kei take his pants and underwear off in one go. The mood picked back up pretty quickly after that, with Kuroo keeping Kei’s right calf on top of his shoulder and kissing the skin right above the ankle. Kei smirked as his hand snaked towards his dick slowly, feeling a lot more comfortable than before.

At the first touch and the first exhale, Kuroo felt a jolt in his lower stomach. It was going to be extremely difficult to keep himself from intervening, but he knew how rewarding it would be in the end, and that would make up for it.

Kuroo was trying to teach Tsukishima to slow down, to stop reaching for that instant satisfaction, because it was so much better when it was desired for a long time. It seemed to be working, for now anyway, as Kei wasn’t whacking it like an animal so far. He probably only knew nice and slow when it came to pleasing himself.

Kei was wrong when he had said he was boring. Just the slight shift in the angle of his eyebrows was mesmerizing to watch, the small gap between his lips, his other hand closed around the loose sheets next to him, his neck exposed in all its length, everything. This was already too good to be true.

Kuroo ached to touch him. Even just bringing his hand to Kei’s hip, or his inner thigh, or his stomach, or grab his hand. He knew Tsukishima would let him do it, but that wasn’t the point of what they were doing. The point was to turn Kuroo on to an impossible degree, to get him so hungry that one course wouldn’t be enough. That end goal would never be reached if he started giving in to the smallest urge to caress Kei all over.

Kei made a soft noise between a gasp and a moan, one that Kuroo was not sure he would’ve made if he had been alone, but that he appreciated nonetheless. He let Kei’s leg down from his shoulder, watching as he lifted his pelvis up to move closer to where Kuroo still sat between Kei’s legs.

That was just cruel, but it was also exactly the type of behavior that he should’ve been expecting from Kei. He had to bite the inside of his lip, watching Kei’s fingers move gracefully up and down, not too quickly but not too slowly either. It was the perfect speed to make this last just a little bit too long for Kuroo’s comfort, but again, his comfort was not the point at all.

Kei’s breath was catching in his throat just enough to be audible, and Kuroo sank his nails into the skin of his own thigh.

Tsukishima’s eyes blinked open, and he looked down to access Kuroo’s self control technique. “I told you you didn’t need to sit there and do nothing,” he whispered with a heady voice.

“The point is to hold back, otherwise where’s the fun in that?” He echoed Kei’s words from earlier, getting an eye-roll out of him. “Are you prepped or…?”

“What did you think I was doing in the shower?” Kei asked before he shut his eyes tightly and cursed under his breath, moving his hand in the exact same way he just had to chase that feeling again.

“You’ll have to let me do it one day,” Kuroo said way too conversationally, keeping up a bad front of casualness.

“Next time,” Kei exhaled, slightly winded, which was _distracting_. “Is there anything specific you’d like to see me do?”

“Hmm,” Kuroo tried, his throat tightening up and keeping his words in. “This is pretty great as it is.”

Kei smirked briefly before his lips parted again, but no sound came out. He held his breath in anticipation, relaxing his face and breathing deeply when the quick wave of pleasure passed. He wasn’t usually too fast, but he knew that having Kuroo watch him would make him come much faster than what he was used to.

Kuroo was feeling every kind of urge at once. The softer, sweeter part of him just wanted to finish Kei’s handjob for him. His dirtier side wanted him to finish inside his mouth. And his truly filthy side wanted to take him now and make him come in another way. He touched Kei’s leg absentmindedly again, the part of his calf that he had allowed himself to grab earlier.

Kei’s back was arched just a tiny bit, and Kuroo dreamed to swoop him up using that free space and deal with him himself. Kei’s noises were rendering him restless. They weren’t obscene or anything, he knew there was nothing hot in acting out your pleasure, but that’s what made it even more intoxicating. It was real, he was acting like he would’ve if he’d been alone, and that was exactly what Kuroo had wanted.

After a couple of soundless gasps, with Tsukishima keeping his lips parted and breathing in as he stared with wide eyes at the headboard, the wall and the ceiling, he knew he was close. He felt like he was 16 again. How he wished it was Kuroo that he had met when he was 18, that he could be called _babe_ without cringing, that he wouldn’t be so sexually traumatised and that he wouldn’t be terrified of hearing someone say _I love you_.

Kuroo was still brushing his fingers on his ankle, reminding him that he was there, that he was watching him. Kei called out his name, quietly at first, and then over and over, louder each time. Kuroo replied with yeses, but not the husky kind: it was him, he was there, he was letting him know. _Yes, I’m here_.

Tsukishima’s back dropped flat on the mattress, his hand stopped moving and he let out an extremely deep sigh.

Kuroo didn’t move, he even took his hand away from Kei’s ankle. He was aghast, hardly breathing, paralyzed by how unready he’d been. Goddamn, he himself had made that boy come before, something like 5 times already! Why was this so hot?

When he regained control of his body, he undid his pants and kicked them off as fast as he could, taking his underwear and his socks with it. He rushed to kiss Kei, almost elbowing him in the stomach as he did. Kei laughed through the kiss, and he sounded so blissed out and tired that Kuroo almost wanted to leave him alone and let him sleep. But again, that hadn’t been the point. He knew he had lube and condoms in the bottom drawer of his side table, so he pulled it open and stuck a hand in there, trying to locate the items by touch alone as he kept kissing Kei just as deeply as he deserved.

Feeling carefree, Tsukishima kept smiling and laughing as Kuroo kissed him, but he also felt the rush. He wasn’t exactly in the mood to wait anymore, so when Kuroo moved away from him and was about to put lube on his fingers first, Kei grabbed his wrist to stop him.

“Don’t waste time with that,” Kei said, his half-lidded eyes looking up at Kuroo in a type of way that should’ve been illegal.

“You sure?” Tetsurou asked, instantly getting a positive nod in return. He nodded back before he moved on with the condom right away and used the lube directly on himself.

They were already aligned with each other just fine, and Kei was practically begging with his eyes, so Kuroo gave him what he was asking for. As slowly as he could manage to, Kuroo filled Kei up until he was fully in.

The sound that came out of Kei’s mouth was probably the closest thing to “finally” that you could get without speaking the word. Kuroo kept his eyes shut, bringing his hands up to grab Kei’s sides. They were both still wearing their shirts for some reason, but it didn’t matter.

Kuroo usually took his sweet time with things like this, starting out slow and building up a speed, but there was no time to build anything. It was pedal to the metal or nothing.

As Kei inhaled, Kuroo thrusted in, and then as he exhaled, Kuroo moved back. They did this for a while until Kei’s breath became jerky, just before he started chuckling for apparently no reason.

“What?” Kuroo asked, finding out that he was out of breath too now that he was trying to speak.

Kei brought both of his hands to Kuroo’s face and grabbed his cheeks, spreading his fingers and holding him firmly. “You got so serious all of a sudden,” he explained with a tired smile still lingering on his face.

Kuroo scoffed with a “tsk” as he slowed down a little, just to give himself a chance to be understood. “You come here often?” He replied jokingly, forcing Kei to push his face away with the hands that had previously been cradling him.

“I try,” Kei said, a bit out of breath.

Kuroo tilted his head to the side, looking for God, looking to know why he was doomed with such sweet torture. Kei grinned at him, and Kuroo could tell that the evil side of him was very alive and _very kicking_.

He kissed him then, because that’s all there was left to do. They parted just when Kei was about to lose some brain cells to asphyxiation.

“You’re such a loser,” Kei said with difficulty, hardly keeping his voice even between then thrusts, “flirting with me while we’re having sex.”

“Do you want me to goof around or be serious?” Kuroo inquired, pretending to be fed up with Kei’s indecisiveness.

“I want you to shut up,” Kei said, his voice sounding way too nice for the words he had spoken.

Kuroo grinned and held himself straighter, grabbing Kei harder and putting more sharpness into his moves. “You started it, moonshine.”

“Hm-hm,” Tsukishima hummed sarcastically, but then he brought his knuckles to his lips and had to bite in them to keep from making too much more noise.

Tetsurou honestly felt like it was a waste, but if Kei didn’t feel comfortable enough to completely let go, that wasn’t something he could force him to do. Kei’s shirt was bunching in Kuroo’s fists, so he pulled on the fabric, bringing him closer with every swing of his hips.

Kei let his hand fall from his face when he gasped in shock, keeping his eyes closed and throwing his head back.

They were not going to break a record of endurance tonight, that much was sure, but they still weren’t rushing. They were reading the other’s mood and acting accordingly, and it worked. It worked too well.

Kuroo quickly became too exhausted to keep up with the pace he had set, so he crossed his arms behind Kei’s back and hugged him close. They rolled a bit to the side, laughing as Kei hiked a leg up Kuroo’s thigh and was now doing most of the work.

“Old man,” Kei teased as he went to kiss Kuroo’s dumb smile off his face. They kissed rather gently for the standard they had set with this whole endeavor, and their lips were still locked together when Kuroo came, followed by Tsukishima about 15 seconds later when he’d given the ok to move again.

They held onto each other tightly for a couple more minutes of intermittent giggling, looking at each other with these devilish eyes that only promised trouble.

It took them a while to untangle, and another one to get up and head to the bathroom for a cleanup.

Kei was standing behind Kuroo in the shower, hugging him across the chest, when he remembered something that he thought was worth mentioning. “Hey.”

“Yeah?” Kuroo asked, his voice just above a whisper.

“I didn’t hate it. The thing you called me.”

Kuroo frowned, trying to recall what he had said. When it came back to him, he smiled triumphantly. “What, moonshine?”

“Yeah. Not too often, though.”

_Sure. Not too often._

 

* * *

 

Kuroo was sitting on the island counter in the middle of the tight kitchen, swinging his legs in front of himself and catching Bokuto between them when he made the mistake of walking in front of him. He was holding a spoon full of a delicious looking stew and he stuck it in Kuroo’s open and waiting mouth with a laugh.

“How is it?” He asked as he pulled it out roughly, making the metal spoon drag along Kuroo’s front teeth with a high-pitched scrapping noise.

Kuroo covered his mouth with his hand and glared at Bokuto. “Good, but _ouch_.”

Bokuto had bought a restaurant years ago, and he was just about to finally open it. He’d asked everyone to come over and test the meals that he was going to serve, just to make sure that it was top notch. He’d always wanted to open his own place, but the permits were expensive, and it was hard to build a clientele from nothing. Still, he was just about to open it for good.

Akaashi was busying himself in the next room, mixing some drink of his creation. He had helped with the drink menu, and Kuroo had to admit that everything he had tasted so far had been to die for.

Kei had his back to Kuroo, sitting on the counter as well with his legs hanging off the other side. He bumped the back of his head to Kuroo's in a show of sympathy for his pain.

Kuroo, thinking that this was a plea to have a taste as well, snapped his fingers twice and pointed to Kei.

"Give him some," he told Bokuto imperatively, so the boy shrugged, went around the counter and offered a spoonful to Kei as well.

Tsukishima did not say a word, he only accepted the spoon into his mouth and had a moan of appreciation.

"Best thing I've ever had in my mouth," he said once the spoon was out of his mouth. "Well... best food."

Kuroo scoffed silently, but Bokuto's laughter was booming. He instantly leapt to hug Kei, bringing strong beefy arms on either side of him with a head full of puffy hair against his stomach.

"I love your boyfriend," he said loudly to Kuroo's attention.

Kuroo frowned at the term, but he chuckled anyway. Kei didn't seem to be fighting it, so it was probably fine with him.

Akaashi walked in the kitchen with a tired sigh. "Kou, down. The boy isn't a doll."

Bokuto let go reluctantly, looking up with puppy eyes at a bored Tsukishima.

"Your feelings are noted," Kei said, as carefree and easygoing as he always was when he delivered low blows.

Bokuto kept pouting, dragging his feet over to the stove under Akaashi's focused stare. An untrained eye could've mistaken it for jealousy, but Akaashi was just trying to help Bokuto with his respect of people's boundaries. Akaashi himself had been the first subject of his teaching, until he realised that Bokuto wasn't stuck at his hip for fun, but because he liked him and didn't know what to do about it.

Kei leaned against Kuroo's back rather forcefully once Bokuto was back to stirring his pots. Kuroo laughed as he folded in half, with his torso against his thighs and Kei laying down on him.

There was a loud knock on the front door of the restaurant, which caused Kuroo to propel himself off the counter as he yelped "Oiks!", sending Kei splatting down on the surface with a tired _ow_.

It was still snowing lightly outside, and the image of Oikawa in his fancy coat with Iwa on his arm and a bottle of wine in his free hand made it feel like Christmas was a couple of weeks early.

Kuroo opened the door and quickly had his arms full of a chirpy Oikawa. Iwaizumi stood to the side as he watched with amused but judgemental eyes.

"He's already drunk," Iwa explained, getting an understanding nod in response from Kuroo.

"Am NOT," Oikawa protested in a drunken slur, failing to convince even himself. He detached himself from Kuroo and hissed between his teeth, wincing at his own ridiculous state.

Iwaizumi had a mocking chuckle as he helped Oikawa out of his coat. "3 glasses of wine in 2 minutes," he told Kuroo, his slowly blinking eyes looking more aggravated than usual.

"2 and a half," Oikawa corrected as he finally succeeded in taking his arm out of his coat, an action that was not usually difficult for him.

Iwaizumi's sigh was drawn out. "You're not helping yourself."

"AND a shot," Oikawa added with a proud grin, holding his chin up as he looked down at Iwa. Oikawa knew how angry he got when he flashed his slightly superior height next to him.

Iwaizumi got up on his tip-toes and pecked Oikawa's lips. "Fuck off," he said with a fake smile before he began to walk to the kitchen at the back.

Oikawa stood there with wide eyes for a while, watching him go while Kuroo laughed at him. "I'm gonna suck him off tonight."

They followed Iwa together once Kuroo stopped laughing, entering the kitchen right after him as Bokuto yelled his greetings. Kei was still lying down like he owned the place.

"Ooh, hello," Oikawa said as he began to hop in Tsukishima's direction so he could dip down and kiss his forehead.

"He's drunk," Iwa warned again before he opened his mouth to accept whatever Bo was trying to feed him.

Kei was wiping his forehead with the back of his hand while Oikawa smiled down at him devilishly. "I tend to expect things like this from him even when he's sober."

Iwa finished chewing and gave Bokuto a vigorous thumb up. Then, he brought his attention to Tsukishima again. "Good, you don't get phased anymore. That's a crucial thing if you don't want him to ruin your mental health."

Oikawa looked over his shoulder and winked. "You love me."

Iwa smirked. "I sure do."

A timer started beeping, and Bokuto made another loud happy noise.

"That's the pizza!"

"Oh fuck yes," Oikawa exclaimed as he kept a strangely straight face, staring in the void.

Bokuto slipped on his oven mitts and opened the oven to take the pizza out. "And yes Kuroo, before you ask, there's no pineapple."

Kuroo had a quiet celebration in return.

Once everyone had a piece of the pie and either sat on the counter or on bar stools, the kitchen settled down as everyone was too focused on eating to talk.

"That's fucking tasty as fuck," Kuroo said in an inspired moment, his mouth still full of dough and cheese.

Everyone else nodded in agreement and Bokuto beamed of happiness.

When they were all done eating, Bokuto brought the pizza tin on the counter next to him and started stirring the pot on the stove again. He had to slap a second slice out of Oikawa's hands when he went for seconds without asking.

"There's like 3 more meals to taste, stop that."

Oikawa pouted like a baby as he reached for the pizza slice again, only to get slapped on the hand once more.

He scurried away to where Iwaizumi was sitting, bumping his forehead to his back and whining in pain.

Once Oikawa’s little scene was over, they tasted all the meals that Bokuto had ready so far, testing the white and red wine that he had picked for the opening as well as the sake that Oikawa had recommended for him at the same time.

So they ended up, all 6 of them, clustered in a small kitchen, drinking, eating and catching up.

At some point, Oikawa just yelled “Wow, I fucking love you guys” and maybe Kuroo got tears in his eyes before he could hide them.

 

* * *

 

It was way past midnight when they walked outside and started to head out home. Oikawa and Iwaizumi had left a little earlier because Oikawa couldn’t stay awake anymore, so they’d went to bed. Kei had insisted to stay and wash up a bit before he and Kuroo left too, so it was definitely too late to be going home on a week night, but it’d been worth it.

They were walking a good speed, lighted only by streetlights. It was a quiet neighbourhood, a good place to spend nights with friends.

Kuroo looked over at Kei every 10 seconds, waiting to be noticed, and then he’d look away as if he had never looked at all.

Tsukishima snickered at him, turning around and walking backwards so they’d be facing each other. “How can I help you?”

Kuroo’s lips curved up in a closed-lipped smile. “I was wondering if you felt like you were in your right mind now?”

Kei quirked an eyebrow and pinched his lips slightly. “What?”

“Well, you asked me to only ask you if you wanted to be my boyfriend again when you’d be in your right mind.”

Kei’s face burned suddenly. He stopped walking, staring at Kuroo with wide, surprised eyes. He collected himself quickly, succeeding to let the tension in his shoulders seep out of him so he could stand without looking like a pole.

“Did you think about it?” Kuroo asked, unsure if he’d just ruined it forever. You couldn’t get rejected 3 times and not see a message in it.

“Yes,” Tsukishima admitted, still shell-shocked by the question, but knowing the answer he wanted to give this time. He had made his mind the last time Kuroo had asked him, really. Not much would be different, only now they would know what they were in for. He was already making concessions, giving time and energy into this relationship, so it was only right to make it an actual relationship. Plus, it was making him happy, he was sure that mattered somewhere.

“And?” Kuroo inquired further, walking a step forward. Kei was open, so he allowed himself some hope.

“Yes,” Tsukishima said again, and then his breath got caught in his throat when he realized what he’d just done. He wasn’t angry at himself, he wasn’t even sad. He was impressed.

Kuroo lit up like never before, wrapping Kei up in a hug and lifting him off his feet a little bit, but not being capable to keep him up for very long. Kei laughed nervously, keeping his eyes closed even when he had his feet on the ground.

They were right underneath a street light, snow was flying around them, and Kuroo was kissing his boyfriend in the middle of the sidewalk. Kei didn’t protest, it was too late for people to see them, and anyway, what would anyone do about it?

They broke apart for just a beat, just long enough for Kuroo to see the content smile on Kei’s lips before he kissed him again. The air was ice cold around them, but their faces were burning. No matter how harsh winter tried to be that year, they would keep each other warm.

He had his very own moonshine now.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I feel lit in this Chili's tonight
> 
> I hate begging for it, but I love when you guys talk to me! I know I'm not very fast anymore, but I still... fucking love..... writing for you guys
> 
> Okay so I'm going to bed
> 
> Find me on [tumblr](http://sandgoddess.tumblr.com) and [twitter](https://twitter.com/megabitch2001)


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